Clerks

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order: SVU or Clerks, they belong to Dick Wolf and Kevin Smith respectively; although Kevin Smith is a cool dude.

Author's Note: If you've seen Clerks then you know where this is going and if you haven't then be warned, raunchiness ensues!

Chapter 1: But it's My Day Off!

It was an early Saturday morning in May, the sun was just rising, birds were chirping and everything was peaceful. In Queens a young man named Elliot Stabler was sleeping in his room, he'd been exhausted from the day before working a 13 hour shift at the Quick Stop convenience store and the only reason he did that was so he could have today off. He was in such a deep sleep that he didn't hear his cellphone ringing. It rang for a while and Elliot didn't even acknowledge it, he just rolled over in his bed as if that would make it stop.

"Dammit boy, answer your phone!" Elliot's dad yelled as he stopped in his doorway. He was getting ready for his job as he put on his cop uniform. "Get your lazy ass up!" he screamed louder.

"Elliot!"

"What?!" Elliot was finally startled awake. He looked up at his dad and then to his phone on the night stand. "Sorry dad."

Elliot's dad waked away but was still annoyed.

He answered his phone. "Hello?" he still sounded very sleepy.

"Elliot?" on the other end of the line was his boss Don Cragen.

"Good morning Mr. Cragen," the young man said.

"Sorry to wake you this early but I need you to come in today." His boss told him.

"What?" Elliot questioned, hoping he heard his boss wrong. "I worked until closing yesterday, today's my day off!"

"Look," Cragen started. "I need somebody to open the store, Fin called in sick."

"Fin called in sick?" Elliot asked incredulously. "Well what about Olivia?"

"The security cameras are busted; you know I don't like her running the store by herself."

Elliot let out a sigh. "Fine, I'll come in. So I'll see you in an hour."

"Actually I'm not coming in either; I got tickets to the Subway Series game today."

"So does this also mean that I'm closing too?" Elliot was getting upset because he wanted the day off so he could watch the game in peace.

"I'll pay you over time and I'll let you close an hour early." Cragen leveled with him.

"Alright." Elliot agreed.

"Thank you." Cragen thanked him before hanging up.

Elliot threw his phone to the edge of his bed and laid back down. "There goes my Saturday." He just wanted to close his eyes and go back to sleep but he couldn't. He rolled out of bed and got ready for work. He went downstairs and saw that his dad already left and that was for the better. His dad was always angry and today was no different, just like Elliot he wanted to stay home and watch the game.

After eating a small breakfast Elliot put on his Yankees cap and walked outside. His dad took the car which forced him to take the subway. "Ugh, this is going to be a long day." He headed towards the F train.

After a long and slow ride on the F train thanks to weekend delays Elliot finally reached his stop. He got off and headed topside to the convenience store where he processed to unlock the gates. He grabbed the stack of newspapers out front before going inside and turning on the lights. The store was nothing special; it was just like every other bodega in the big apple that sold you morning paper, snacks and other necessities. His boss Cragen was a nice man; he gave Elliot a job once he graduated high school and he's been working there ever since. While it was only minimum wage it was still better than nothing.

Elliot started his employee duties by putting on some coffee, putting out the papers and changing the close sign to open. He looked at his watch and saw it was exactly 7am. "Great, 6 hours until the game starts and 14 hours till closing." He groaned.

7:45am; 5 hours and 15 minutes Before the Game:

Saturdays were so monotonous, in the early morning hours all people ever did was come into the store to buy the paper and a cheap cup of coffee. Some people would come in there to chitchat but Elliot wasn't a morning person, he just wanted people to buy there items and get out. He doesn't mind it most of the times but it was like some people came into the store just to give him a hard time and today was especially bad. Because today was game 1 of the Subway Series Elliot wanted to show team pride by wearing his Yankees cap and t-shirt, when 3 guys walked in with Mets hats and shirts they gave him dirty looks. Elliot shook his head and went back to the magazine he was reading.

"You got a problem?" one of the guys questioned.

"Not really." Elliot didn't even look up.

"I think you do!" the same guy forcibly shoved the magazine out of Elliot's hands.

"Look pal I didn't do anything." He told the large man. "Clearly you just don't like the Yankees."

"Damn right we don't!" another of the guys said. "The Mets are going to wipe the floor with those damn Yankees!"

"Wipe the floor?" Elliot responded. "Last year we destroyed the Mets on their home turf 4-0! Face it, the Mets are trash!"

This was just supposed to be a little smack talk between fellow New Yorkers but sometimes people take it too serious. The three guys got angry at Elliot's remarks and one lunged to grab him from behind the counter. He dodged it but they kept trying to grab him.

"All this because your team sucks?" Elliot remarked.

"We'll get you, you little shit!" he heard one of them yell.

While the men were trying to grab Elliot they didn't notice that someone else had walked into the store. She was a young lady who had shoulder length brunette hair, hazel eyes and a body to die for. Her name was Olivia Benson and just like Elliot she was a store clerk at the Quick Stop. She was a great employee who always knew what to do and jumped into action when need be. Right now she saw her best friend being attacked and looked for a way to stop it. She grabbed a nearby fire extinguisher and sprayed the lowlifes.

"I suggest you guys back off unless you want more." She told them while standing her ground.

They stared her down before easing up. "Relax lady we were just messing with the guy, we weren't gonna hurt him."

She still stood there obviously not believing them. "Sure, now I suggest you guys buy something or get out."

Two of the guys walked and one guy brought a pack of cigarettes. Elliot rung it up and the guy took it, but not before flipping the bird to both of them and leaving.

"Don't you just love the people of New York?" Olivia said sarcastically as she put back the fire extinguisher.

"For the record I could have taken all 3 of them." Elliot said coming from behind the counter.

"Sure," Olivia rolled her eyes. "So, why are you here? I thought Fin was supposed to be working today."

"You don't enjoy my company?" Elliot looked mocked hurt.

"I do," she smiled. "But you worked all of yesterday and just so you could get today off."

"Fin called in sick that jerk looked fine yesterday."

"24-hour flu?" Olivia said playing devil's advocate.

"Whatever the case he owes me!" he declared.

Author's Note: Just something random I thought of since I was rewatching Clerks and thought wouldn't it be interesting if the SVU squad were just some teens with shitty jobs and shit pay? Pretty sure most of us can relate to that! Like it?