"It's time for you to leave, is it not?"

Like him, his words are icy - devoid of warmth, devoid of emotion. Able to freeze one's heart instantaneously, send the shivers scurrying down his or her spine.

I look over everything in my suitcase, not really paying attention to its contents. Just stalling, stalling for a few more seconds, just to make sure I can remember his voice.

"Yes, it is." I think about saying more, something a bit playful and teasing, but I keep my mouth shut. There's much to say, actually, a conversation that needs to be held; but neither one of us wants to start it, neither one of us wants to be the person that plays the bad note.

"Are you even aware of where you are going?"

I close my suitcase, zip it all up. Gather every necessary bag and start heading towards the stairs, towards the door, towards everything new. Heavy footsteps follow suit. Loud, booming. The sound follows me to the bottom of the ragged stairs and stops right in front of the wooden front door. My hand is on the dull golden knob with the paint chipping off; the other is held within ice, completely encased in the freezing cold.

"No final goodbyes?" he says, and I decide to face him, face those hardened violet eyes that don't match the hint of despair I hear in his voice. "Or is not acknowledging me one of the final ways to severe yourself from the past?"

'I'm acknowledging you now, aren't I? I'm hurting myself just as much as you are being hurt.' I sighed. This is what it boils down to.

"Are these the terms we are leaving on, Ivan?"

"These are the terms you are leaving on, Yao. I'm staying."

I don't say anything in response. No words could be formulated, nothing meaningful could be said. I feel the warmth return to my hand and a sigh of exasperation. It seems as though Ivan's giving up. I'm pretty sure we gave up a long time ago, and our problem was just not being able to admit it.

I swing open the door. I feel those eyes stare into my back.

"I'll forgive you at some point," Ivan whispers. "When you come back, you'll be forgiven. And maybe you'd forgive me, too."

"Xie xie," I say as I walk out of the door, not daring to look back (at Ivan, at the past of which I'm leaving behind). Thank you.

For everything.

For everything.

brooooooo

i didn't even know it was china's birthday until i went to the wiki to look something up and i noticed that "hey, it's china's birthday." i feel shitty, especially seeing as how this was information i should have known.

i never written anything with china before. nor russia. or rochu. well, there's a first for everything, haha.

uhhhh, i didn't really specify what kind of relationship they have here, so you can deem this as platonic or romantic. whatever rocks your socks.

happy birthday you oldie.