I stand at the stove, cooking a hearty meal as I do every night. Tonight, it is curry rice, Alisa's favorite food, and garlic bread, my mother's favorite food. It's an odd combination, as anybody could tell you, but tomorrow the aptitude tests will be held, and I want this last dinner to be a good one.
I stand before the precipice of adulthood, and I do not know onto which net I will fall- the blue, or the yellow? Just in case I receive another faction than Amity, I want my last moments with my family to be good ones. It is my obligation to society to put my faction before my family, after all.
"Lina, watch out!" Alisa shouts.
I look down.
"Not the rice!" I yelp, hurrying to take the scalding pot of browned rice off the hot plate. When I am sure that it is steady- and edible - I lean on the counter and wipe my brow with my potholder.
All of a sudden, I feel a slight heat spreading through my back...
"Lili, that's the stove you're leaning on."
"Sh-!"
I clamp my hand over my mouth as I shoot across the room like a bullet. I clutch my back as I would a wounded being and shuffle over to where Alisa is sitting.
"Is it burned?" I mumble, heat spreading across my face, as I pull up the hem of my red shirt.
"Nope."
"Th-thanks, sis."
Even though life occasionally tosses shows my airheaded self what-for, I still regret wanting to leave this loving family of mine.
~break~
I sit up in bed and rub my eyes.
Last night, Mother came home at seven, her usual, and enjoyed a hearty dinner with us. Even though we must keep up appearances in public, she has always allowed my...less amicable pursuits- ones more suited to other factions, such as extracurricular study -and after dinner, she said to me:
"Lina, remember this- I'll understand if you leave us. Your own happiness comes before your family's."
She always talks about happiness and peace, but...is this her way of saying that factions trump love, without fail? It certainly disregards Amity's core teachings... I silently thank her for her comfort and get up out of bed.
The wooden floors creak beneath my feet. Wood is better than concrete, stone, or brick in the marshy land of the Amity compound. We have never even considered adopting other forms of housing than our simple wooden cottages, but that may simply be because we are practically shut off from the rest of the world here. The Amity don't really care, after all- the news would just make us opinionated and conflict-prone.
I go into the bathroom and shut the door. The one thing I dislike here is the ice-cold shower water.
As I wash my hair, I hear footsteps outside my door, and something that sounds like whispering.
"...here's your..."
"But what about..."
I hurry with my hair and the bathing of my body, shut the water off just before the 5 minutes of shower time ends, and wrap my still-wet self in a towel.
"Who's out there?" I ask nervously.
"No! P-please don't come out yet!"
Is that...Alisa? I decide not to argue. Arguing does nothing but cause stress and strife, something that is not needed in this world. I calmly dry off my body and wring out my hair so that my clothing does not get wet.
I walk over to the nearby dressing table and put on my undergarments, a poofy red dress with lace, white kneesocks, and red Mary Janes.
As I buckle my last shoestrap, I happen to look in the mirror.
My strikingly blond hair is frizzy and tangled from where I dried it out, and my green eyes have dark circles underneath them from where I barely slept last night. I chuckle at how that contrasts with my dimples and the copious amount of freckles on my tanned face, and take the brush to straighten out my hair for braiding.
"Lili, can you please hurry? The clock says that it's nearly six! We've gotta hurry to the trucks!"
I am more rough with my tending now. The removal of the tangles hurts, but it's quicker this way. When that is done, I split my hair into two sections and quickly braid the left half.
My fingers are nimble, both from reading and from doing this every day. I cannot depend on my mother to do this for me, as I am nearly an adult. I have braided my own hair since I was nine, and that is not about to stop now. I'm not Abnegation, after all, never have been.
Finally, I slip on the friendship bracelet that Chartreuse gave me as a child. She's been my best friend for as long as I can remember; we're practically inseparable. However, she knows where she belongs- always has. I'd keel over and die if she transferred! If I leave her, I...
I shake my head as I shove my now-finished braids behind my shoulders. Yup, I can braid hair in 45 seconds flat! I'm awful proud of myself for that, too.
I shoot up out of my seat and rush to the door. When I open it, Alisa and Mother are standing there. And they're holding...a lunch pail?
"We made ya some breakfast this morning!" Alisa says with a toothy grin.
"Yes. After all, all tests, especially this one, require a focused mind, my darling," my mother adds.
I grin a lopsided grin as a rose-red blush rises across my face.
"You shouldn't have done this, you guys..." I mutter.
Alisa grabs my hand. "C'mon, Lili, the trucks are leaving soon!" she cuts in. She lets out a hearty laugh as she pulls me towards the stairwell. Our mother cheerfully plods along after us.
My dearest older sister... If you belong here, how, then, can I bear to leave you? Even if you have stayed, and take care of Mother in her later years, how can I leave with a free conscience?
~break~
I sit beside Chartreuse in the back of a freshly-cleaned, powder-blue pickup truck- one of many vehicles -and eat my (surprisingly delicious) breakfast.
"How do you think you'll do today, Lina?" she asks quietly.
Although she is of Amity, she has always been softspoken.
...Then again, so have I.
She brushes a lock of black hair out of her face and leans forward.
I, on the other hand, lean back and shrug my shoulders.
"I dunno. I mean, we can't prepare at all, right? How can you pass a test y' know nothing about? I'm pretty anxious..." I reply, and it is truthful. I speak the truth when it does not hurt, and I don't see how this could hurt anyone.
Chartreuse smiles.
"Well, just know that everyone is on equal footing. If you fail, then most people will also fail."
I look at her in surprise. How am I supposed to take this? Is she implying that she understands my internal struggle- between myself and my family -or are these just general words of comfort?
She chuckles softly. "Don't look at me like that, please! You've always done well on tests. Your failure bodes poorly for everyone else. Although, to be fair, I don't know how society could deal with so many factionless..."
She looks off into the distance as it hits me. This is the aptitude test! I'm sure I'll get a good result! After all, I've only got a 1/6 chance to be deemed unfit for any faction...if they even allow such a thing. But...
Chartreuse seems awfully distant today... Why would she be worried?
~break~
We finally reach the city after an hour's ride. Just thirty minutes to the school, and thirty minutes to decipher Chartreuse's impenetrable barrier...
I silently slip my friendship bracelet off and set it gently on her knee. She will be able to take good care of it if I transfer.
She looks down at my hand, not yet lifted from the previous action, and gently pushes it- and the bracelet -back towards me. She smiles, but it does not reach her eyes.
~break~
The truck pulls to a stop in front of the school. There are quite a few trucks and vans here, but a large group splintered off earlier to go to various marketplaces and medical centers in the city if they had no schoolkids in them. Or...maybe I shouldn't say "splintered." After all, we are the minority- there are fewer here than in other places.
I hop out of the truckbed, as does Chartreuse, and I suddenly feel her thin hands brushing the dust off of the back of my dress. Yes, that's right... It must be from Amity's dirt roads.
When she is done, I motion for her to turn around and brush the dust off the back of her overalls and red shirt. After all, it would be rude not to return a favor! Her inborn kindness and concern for others is why she is so fit for Amity, I believe.
My arms begin to ache, so I shake them out, clean off one last smudge, and turn to the door.
"Thank you, Lina," Chartreuse says behind me. I think her voice is shaking.
I turn and smile. "Anything for a friend!" I reply. "Now, let's go!" I turn back to the doors and run inside. Chartreuse runs after me.
I swing the doors open and feel Chartreuse, who is in my peripheral vision, put something heavy in my free hand.
The halls are alive with energy. People are rushing about, eager to soak up this last day of childhood, even it's only half as long. Even the teachers seem antsy- they are standing in the halls as well, directing the students as though their lives depended on it.
I, too, grow anxious. My heart is beating faster as I pull what I now realize to be my schoolbag- previously forgotten in the truckbed -over my shoulder. I glance over at my raven-headed friend, but she is smiling, looking about at all of the action with joy in her eyes.
"See ya later, Chartreuse!" I yell as I race off to Advanced Math. She waves and goes to the corner classroom for Communication 11.
As Communication 11's door fades into the distance behind me, I make my way to the fork in the hallway, where I shall head down the right-hand side. As I head there, I look at the people around me, lost in thought.
Even though school is a place where the factions can mix, interfactional friendships generally don't occur, more for practicality than for hatred- not many people know where they'll end up, and you can't really talk to people in other factions outside of school.
I notice that our Amity girls and boys amble through the halls at a leisurely pace, some bumping into others and then apologizing. Our faction has the most tardies out of anyone, though I don't mind. They laugh a lot and chatter incessantly, but I can see myself living that kind of life. They're genuinely kind people, even if they let others walk all over them at times.
The Candor debate and argue amongst themselves. Some are calm, while others are passionate and loud. I can hear bits and pieces of their conversations even from where I am standing. They'll occasionally bring passerby into their debates, asking for a secondary or tertiary opinion. They're generally ignorant people, bullying others without realizing it and insulting them without knowing, but nobody corrects them because their faction values unbiasedness and nobody would dare put bias into their heads.
...They deserve each other.
The Dauntless run through the halls with books in hand or a bag on their shoulder. They push others out of their way and hoot and holler, making a general nuisance of themselves. Even though they are so rowdy and obnoxious, a part of me admires them for being confident. They value bravery and camaraderie, and if their initiation didn't have a reputation for being so grueling, I might join them, regardless of my result. It seems fun and liberating to be a part of Dauntless, even if they are as perpetually late as Amity.
The Erudite walk calmly through the crowd, slipping through cracks between people and taking advantage of heights differences and gaps between appendages. Some read while they walk; some walk while they read. Others keep their eyes focused in front of them, or talk to other Erudites quietly. I admire their inner peace, which rivals that of Amity.
Surprisingly, I don't see the Abne-
I feel something cold and hard smack me in the face and look back in front of me.
Oh. It's just where the wall forks. I shake my head, blushing profusely, and turn right towards my first class.
~break~
The bell rings for our half-of-sixth class to end. Normally at this hour, we eat, and it is only logical to be hungry when your stomach is used to eating at this time.
But there is no lunch today, for now we are to head to the common meeting area so that we can wait to be called for testing. The names are called two for each faction, starting at both ends to meet in the middle, like a dragon that eats its own tail. Because I am from Amity, I will be tested by an Abnegation volunteer.
Each faction of kids splinter off into their own groups:
The Dauntless are tossing several decks of cards back and forth, laughing and joking and generally being a nuisance. Their copious piercings make me shudder every time I look at them, and their black clothing seems...ominous. Even though I admire bravery, I don't see what Gothic attire has to do with it- or what it has to do with poking holes in yourself.
The Abnegation sit quietly at the edge of the room, looking around, trying to forget themselves so that they may help others more efficiently. Though I know I am a selfish, selfish girl, I admire their faction greatly.
The Candor all settle into their seats, arguing amongst themselves all the while. They are rude people, always teasing others and hurting their feelings in the name of honesty, but they can stand each other and thus deserve each other.
The Erudite carry books or newspapers under their arms- some of them read while they walk; others whisper amongst themselves about some interesting subject or another; and one of them even walks into the doorway before holding his page with his thumb and hurrying to reach his factionmates.
My gaze lingers upon them a bit longer than necessary, and I shake my head as I follow Cassia and Allandra, two other Amity girls, to the circle that has been set up in the center of the room by some of our friends and acquaintances. We are going to play a game, it seems. I smile as I settle in between those that I had been trailing behind and wipe the sweat off of my hands to ready myself.
~break~
A woman steps into the doorway, holding a sheet of paper. She has been doing this every few minutes, calling names as rooms are filled up and emptied again. While I am not an A-namer, my surname is Benson, so I should be called back soon. She calls the names of the Dauntless, Candor, and Erudite, and then- "From Amity: Lina Benson and Chartreuse Williams."
Chartreuse and I stand up, I brush off the seat of my dress, and I notice Chartreuse pulling her hand back. We turn to leave, and as we step out of the common meeting room, I hear the woman say, "From Abnegation..."
When we step out into the cool hallway, there are ten rooms waiting for us. Two Abnegation volunteers stand beside the doors. As I head to the one on the left, I realize that they are made of mirrors, not glass. Why would they hide the rooms from us...?
Chartreuse turns to me one last time. "I wish you the best fortune, and hope that you receive the result you are hoping for," she whispers. She goes into the room on the right. I nod to her back, swallow my fear, and head into my own testing chamber.