Fine Ass You Have

I do not own Death Note.

Light was making copies of a file L had randomly chosen to keep Light occupied. L was milling around the area, staring at the ceiling and kicking dust. He also seemed to be watching Light's ass, which was swinging back and forth as he hummed the Dexter's Laboratory theme.

"What a fine ass you have Light-kun." Slap.

"What the hell Ryuzaki?" L looked at Light with his wide eyes. Light glared at him.

"And just what do you think you were doing?"

"I was only doing what I learned through the watching of modern day movies. When one finds another pleasing, I found most often the male characters would slap or grope the buttocks of the female while exclaiming 'You got a fine ass girl.' I modified it for Light-kun, as he is male and has a penis, not a vagina." Light stared at L and stood up straight, crossing his arms.

"Do you think that it works?" L looked at Light's stance and thought.

"Perhaps if I told Light-kun that his jugs are very nice."

"You do know what jugs are, right Ryuzaki?"

"Maybe…"

"Oh my god Ryuzaki. What do you think it means?"

"I am not quite sure…I heard it on MTV, on that one show…"

"It means boobs, Ryuzaki, boobs. Do I have boobs?"

"Is that a rhetorical question or am I required to tell the truth?"

"When wouldn't you be?"

"Every time Light-kun asks me whether blue is his color, or if he looks nice in something, or if I would like to watch a sappy American movie aimed at the menopausal female, or if…"

Light groaned and closed his eyes in frustration. "I get it. You lie to me a lot. But do I have boobs?"

"No."

"Then I do not have jugs, so your misguided compliment is useless." L nodded and sat down on the floor. Light resumed copying until a small voice came up from the ground.

"Have I yet to mention to Light-kun that when thinking of his buttocks, I would like to 'tap that fine piece of ass'?"

"Just stop talking Ryuzaki. Just stop."

the end

a.n. Ha. I thought it was funny. In a stupid, ridiculous way.

Btw, has anyone ever watched superjail? You should, it is very funny.