A/N: Written for a FF Exchange on A03.
This semi in-canon all the way until 3B, and then it goes its own way. Hook is in it briefly, but not an issue.
Enjoy!
Emma Swan comes blustering into her sleepy town one cold evening, and everything changes.
She's defiance and energy, and she plows right through Regina's perfectly calm controlled life.
Right through twenty-eight years of a curse which has come to feel a lot like some kind of sleeping death (not that she's ever admit such).
Henry shouts, "My real mother," and Regina feels anger, fear and so much heartbreak.
Later that night, she's undressing, her eyes on her mirror, trying to count her way down from the hurt and fear she feels coiling within her, black and so fucking dangerous that she can almost feel the way it's gripping her and pulling into darkness. She's staring at herself, but not really seeing herself – that is, until she notices a mark over her breast – over her heart.
Like a tattoo…only she's never had one there before (she actually doesn't have any, but that's not the point now). The language represented by the tattoo is as old as both the darkness and the light which have constantly been at war within her, always fighting for some kind of balance.
That's a bit too poetic, Regina thinks as her lip curls into a snarl.
She knows what this tattoo means. She knows the letter the strange symbol indicates.
It's a terrible, terrible thing. One she refuses to accept.
This has to be some kind of cruel terrible joke.
She knows that she can't have a soulmate.
Especially not Emma Swan.
(though it makes a sick sort of sense, she muses – souls can't actually be bound until you actually truly meet, and though Emma had been born in the other world, until today, they'd never laid eyes on each other, and now they have and instinctively, Regina knows it's all changed)
But no…for one, she insists, because she's sure that she no longer has a soul.
More importantly, though, because this woman is a problem not a solution.
Not a Savior.
Just a nuisance.
Presumably, one that has left town.
Which means, hopefully, this tattoo will fade.
And life will, as it does in Storybrooke, not really go on.
Both relieved to be leaving, and wary to be, Emma makes her way down the walkway.
This whole situation is unnerving; she's never had connections, never wanted to. But now there's this boy calling her his real mother. A boy her heart is screaming at her to embrace.
She knows better, though; knows that getting involved will only burn her.
And then there's his other mother, standing there looking devastated by her mere presence.
Oh, but there's something else about her, Emma thinks as she starts up her car.
Something dangerous and fascinating and she can already tell somehow addictive…all of that is enough to make her want to get the hell out of this bizarre little town – out of this Storybrooke.
So she pulls away from the mansion, tries not to see the eyes watching her from two different bedrooms, and heads back to her safe little world without family.
Regina watches her go, and slowly exhales.
Until later that night when she finds the tattoo.
She reminds herself repeatedly during a sleepless night that it will fade. Morning will bring relief, she assures herself, constantly trying to force herself (and failing) not to touch it.
But morning comes, and Emma Swan is in a jail cell, and the tattoo isn't gone.
They clash, and there's the sound of a chainsaw, and they're staring at each other like this is a battle they have both waited their entire lives to have. It's blood pounding and some kind of raw lust. Regina tells herself that it's just the fight and nothing more than that. Never more.
There can't be more because she'll never be more, she knows.
So she diligently and deviously spends the next several months doing everything in her power to make Emma leave town. To try to shove her out of Storybrooke and away from her life.
Absolutely none of it works; instead, everything just seems to pull Emma closer to Henry and even to her. The pull is as compulsive as two magnets, and she's terrified beyond words.
And then one day months in, they pair to save his life (it'll become a theme of their relationship, and for a time the glue but the first time it happens, it angers her because if she can't look at Emma exclusively as an enemy, isn't she obligated to consider she could be more?
But Emma keeps pushing and she keeps shoving back, and she supposes that were either of them emotionally aware, they'd recognize that it's both of their faults, but all Regina cares about is what she's losing. Her anger starts to turn into hatred, and Graham dies because of it.
At her hand.
As she touches her fingertips against the fire that night, her self-loathing is nearly suffocating, even as she tries to justify the unjustifiable. Tries to somehow make it Emma's fault.
The tattoo starts to fade, and she reminds herself that she's too evil to have a soulmate.
It's for the best. Safer this way.
Better.
Yet somehow it's not, and a few days later, Emma saves her life from a bigger fire.
The tattoo grows darker after that. Like it's becoming permanent. Like if she doesn't do something soon, the proverbial ink will be dry, and there will be nothing else she can do.
She thinks of Henry, and how she's losing him. Thinks of Emma Swan, and how she has to get rid of her. For both Henry and for herself.
Before it's too late.
She reminds herself that she can lose this woman, a soulmate she never wanted, but not Henry.
Never Henry.
So there's an apple turnover, and what should have been her escape becomes her downfall.
Henry collapses, and he's sleeping, and then Emma kisses him, and he's awake.
The curse shatters.
She's struggling to understand this magic thing.
Struggling to understand her family – daughter of Prince Charming and Snow White and co-mother with the Evil Queen. An Evil Queen who'd tried to take her out with a poisoned apple turnover, but ended up accidentally almost killing Henry instead. Then there's true love's kiss and broken curses. All of which had caused them to go up against a vengeful Rumplestiltskin, who hates the Queen because she kidnapped Belle.
What the ever living fuck?
She thinks she should leave, run, but she can't and she won't.
She has the family she has always wanted, and the complications she never did. But for the first time, she's also wanted, and maybe even one day truly and actually loved so she stays put.
The rushing mob makes her reconsider; but she follows after them anyway. And there's Regina standing against a pillar, that prick Whale's hands around her throat like he plans to strangle her. Without thinking, she just reacts to what she's seeing and jumps in front of him, pulls Regina away, and thinks she sees a flash of surprise. Amazement that anyone would help her.
She covers it quickly, but Emma knows. She understands fear, and the need to hide it.
God, does she ever.
She feels Regina's eyes on her even as they walk away from the Queen, leaving her in the cell.
Wonders what she's thinking.
And wonders why they seem so drawn to one another.
There'd been very little magic in this land without magic, but enough to brand her (soulmate magic is terrifying, and weird, but she's never had to worry too much about it before) and now that the curse is broken, and there's magic everywhere, the tattoo physically burns her skin.
It fucking hurts her every time she's too far away from Emma. Like when she's standing in the cell, her hand aching from Rumple's brand. But she's handled pain before, and she can handle it again, she thinks.
Besides, she has a wraith after her so it probably won't be a problem for too long, anyway.
Only Emma saves her, and falls through a portal, and Regina quickly discovers that short of being drunk, nothing helps her to deal with the pain she feels thanks to Emma's absence.
It's cruel and sadistic, and she spends every moment researching ways to sever the bond.
To cut Emma away from her soul.
Problem is, she's finding she actually has a peculiar perhaps even genuine fondness for the woman. An odd affection for the stubborn bullheaded reckless…shit.
No, no, she insists…it's just gratitude for someone actually giving a damn in spite of her.
But why does Emma?
She wonders if Emma has the tattoo on her now as well. Because if Emma is her soulmate, well then, she must be Emma's, too, right?
So does Emma hurt as she does?
While she's in the Enchanted Forest, does Emma feel this agonized?
It's a mystery, and it plagues her even as she tries not to think about it. To think about her.
This is unhealthy and strange, and hasn't too much of her life been that already? So she focuses on something more actionable, focuses instead on trying to save Emma and Snow for Henry.
Just for Henry.
Not for herself because she doesn't want Emma in her life.
She doesn't want this connection between them, and she knows Emma wouldn't. So get them home, and then find a way to shatter the bond – that's the plan.
It's the only plan.
The Enchanted Forest is fucking weird.
Emma can't say she's a fan of it, and the more she finds out about live here, the more nothing and everything makes sense – especially about Regina. Especially once she meets Cora Mills.
The woman is the worst of mothers – somehow even worse than the casually disinterested ones she'd dealt with in the system. Right on par with the negligent and downright creepy ones.
Still, blaming Regina comes easy when she's in the middle of the woods and cold.
It feels weird and wrong, though.
To be honest, everything does.
She wonders if she has the flu because her body aches and her chest hurts like she has heartburn. Worse after her snap about Regina, but that's just a strange coincidence.
Too many other things to focus on – like Hook and Cora teaming up together.
Then there's a portal opening.
Plan is to go through it and go home to Henry and Storybrooke. And her very weird family.
Which, maybe, weirdly also involves Regina?
Right - go home and leave all of this madness behind.
Get out of here and never ever come back.
It's a good plan, she thinks, and then they're jumping into the portal.
Her plans never work out.
That's the story of her life, Regina concedes as she shudders beneath an exceedingly heavy blanket, the toxic magic from a death curse raging through her already exhausted system. It's what always happens, and she's used to it, but there's still something bitter about how much things have flipped.
She'd gone from trying to chase Emma out of her life to putting her life on the line for her.
That's…not how you break a connection.
Oh, and she's pretty sure Emma doesn't actually hurt like she does. Most likely because Emma doesn't understand magic – doesn't accept and recognize the wispy trailing tendrils of it.
And you have to – it's like religion: you have to, on at least some level, accept it before it fully affects you.
In any case, Emma, if anything at all, probably just thinks that she's having bad period cramps or dealing with a bug she caught over there, not some soulmate connection shit going on.
It's funny, and it's not, but at least Emma and Snow are back.
Oh, she's horrifically sick thanks to the death curse, but still this is better than it'd been before.
It's a good lie, anyway.
Then her phone rings and she hears, "Hey, Regina, it's Emma. How…how are you feeling?"
Like they're old friends just chatting.
"Emma," she says tiredly, and there's a weird pause. Like Emma knows she should ask. "I'm fine. Are…you?"
"Yeah. Just…a bit of a bug." Regina winces at that, but says nothing so finally so Emma pushes ahead with, "Look, there's a welcome party tomorrow, and I'd like you to come…I mean if you would like to. I just think it'd be really good, and you saved my mom and I, and I think you should be there…" she takes a deep breath then and ends with, "And Henry wants you there."
"Oh," Regina says softly, and wonders why she's both delighted and dismayed.
She says maybe, and the call ends, and she spends the night slumped over her toilet; that's fun. Still, it's better than the pain she felt when she and Emma were in two different realms.
Gods, she has got to figure a way to break this connection.
Oh, hey, though, a lack of faith does a wonderful job of doing that. There's a set-up by her mother, and a not really dead cricket, and the Charmings leaping to convict her. Emma tries to believe in her, but in the end, it's not enough and faith turns to anger.
In fairness, it's to be expected, but fuck those sanctimonious assholes, anyway.
Especially their beautiful blonde daughter.
Not beautiful.
No.
Moderately attractive in that entirely physical surface level way.
Fuck.
Wait, that's a problem, too, she thinks darkly as she finishes another bottle of bourbon.
Her mother promises her the world. Promises her she can make everything all right. That promise comes with an assurance of the end of Emma Swan.
She pauses, but then stumbles ahead because what else is there for her?
Mother sees the tattoo one night, and shakes her head, "Oh, Regina, who?" She lies, and stammers that she doesn't know, but Mother shakes her head, intensely studying the mark on her bare breast in a way which feels intrusive and unsettling. "It's the Swan girl, isn't it?"
"No!"
Too fast. Too urgent.
Mother pats her arm, and says in a silky sweet voice, "Don't worry, dear girl; I'll handle it."
So the plan is back to killing Emma Emma, and why does she feel so sick about it?
In the end, Mother is the one who dies thanks to Snow White, and whatever weird kind of affection she might have been feeling for her soulmate – for Emma – is violently snuffed by rage. It's a relief when she sees the tattoo starting to fade once again as her heart darkens.
It's almost gone after she gets the diamond, her heart and mind set on vengeance.
That's for the best, she thinks, a few hours later, as she's on that fucking gurney.
As electricity is cutting through her body, she knows that her own death is coming closer. But it's for the best, she thinks. Because it means Emma can have a soulmate worthy of her.
And Henry can have a mother worthy of him.
That's how it should be.
She was right before – she will never be better than this. She isn't capable of it.
Her eyes roll back, and darkness collapses over her.
Finally, finally…
She wakes up.
She wakes up, and Snow is there, and they're calling her family. But it doesn't matter because now they're all going to die. Only she decides she won't let that happen. Can't let it happen.
Emma says, "Regina, please," and she thinks, "I wonder if I could have been worthy of her."
In a different time, different world, different realm, could things have gone differently for them? Could she and Emma have been the kind of soulmates stories are written about?
"Let me die as Regina," she pleads, tears in her eyes.
Reluctantly, looking heartbroken to do it, Emma leaves finally, leaves her behind, and she feels such horrible pain. It's the diamond sucking her remaining strength out, she insists.
And knows that it's the shattering of possibility.
Emma's three steps outside of the mines when she feels the burning on her chest. She staggers to her car, and rips her shirt open, seeing a bizarre black swirling tattoo across her breast.
"What the fuck?" she mutters, fingers tracing over the mark. It feels weirdly erotic; intimate.
But then there are vines, and a collapsing town, and time is so short. She looks back at the mines, gazing at it for far too long. Thinking about what she'd almost said to Regina in there.
Not entirely sure…maybe "I'm sorry?" Maybe "Thank you,"
Maybe, "I do see you as Regina."
For whatever that might have meant (she thinks everything, and doesn't entirely understand).
There's no more time for that, though, and she's racing to get everyone ready to jump back to a world she's never really known as home. Then Henry pleads for her to save his mother, and she realizes that even if Regina doesn't recognize it, Henry has always loved her and always will.
They agree to go back for Regina, and then it's, "But maybe we are," and the burning on her chest suddenly feels so intense, but weirdly not at all painful as she's staring at Regina.
They save the day, and then Henry is taken, and there's a new journey and Hook and Neal are all over her, and Regina pulls away from her even as they're fighting together to save their son.
Their son.
Amazing.
One night, she's looking for wood to burn with Regina, and she thinks this is as good a time as any to broach the weird mark on her chest – the one which seems to be getting deeper.
Regina looks weirdly panicked when she mentions it, and then goes cold on her, even angry.
"What did I say?" Emma asks her, reaching out and catching her elbow. The touch freezes Regina for half a second, and then she's roughly jerking away from Emma. "Regina, what is it?"
"Nothing! And that…it's unimportant," Regina says. "Something created by this ghastly island."
She's lying. Badly.
But then she's storming away, and Emma thinks that they don't have time for this anyway.
Later, after she and Regina saved Henry and he's sound asleep below, and Regina is staring out at the water, looking small and uncertain about what comes next (Emma understands that feeling all too well), she tracks down Gold, and asks him about the mark.
"Ah, Miss Swan," he says, and seems smug. "You have yourself a soulmate."
"Excuse me?"
"The mark is one created by extremely powerful magic. It's formed the first time you and your soulmate come together under the acceptance of powerful forces beyond our control."
"Excuse me?"
"You have a destiny, Miss Swan."
"I fucking know. What I don't know is why I have this…on me. Who's my soulmate?"
"Someone closer than you think," he replies cryptically, and then moves away.
She looks over and sees Regina looking at her, watching her.
She's about to approach Regina, maybe try to talk to her again about this, but then there's Hook walking towards her, smiling broadly at her. Suggesting a celebration over rum.
She's tired and so over questions and weird situations so she says, "Sure." Because drinking to something – anything – is something she understands.
They get home, and she spends time looking at Neal and Hook and wondering if they're her soulmate, and then getting angry because she doesn't actually want either of them.
Fuck, she doesn't know what she wants.
Well, maybe she wants Regina not to be on edge. To not to be so afraid of losing Henry that she's not thinking straight about the way Henry is acting. She just wants Henry to be okay.
She wants all of them to be okay, including Regina.
What she doesn't want is to have to deal with figuring out this soulmate shit.
Pan makes all of that meaningless in short order, anyway.
Regina promises her good memories, a new beginning, and holds her hands.
Smiling at Emma through tears as she gives up everything to protect their son.
As she offers Emma a gift beyond comprehension.
In that moment, Emma knows who her soulmate actually is.
And knows that she's losing far more than she's gaining.
They return to the Enchanted Forest, and Regina sinks into a horrific depression.
There's a pseudo suicide attempt which Snow stops, and then a nearly hysterical confession where she rips open her dress and shows Snow the still dark tattoo there. "Your daughter!"
She's laughing. Waiting to be laughed at.
Snow hugs her instead.
Doesn't say a word, just holds her tight.
Regina whispers, "I miss them," and can't explain why it's not just Henry.
But it is, and the pain is immeasurable.
Snow murmurs, "I know," and "Me, too," and for a few minutes, at least she's not alone.
Zelena, ironically enough, helps her to find focus. Helps her push the heartbreak away.
Gives her something to fight back against; someone to lead against.
And for a while, she's even successful. For a while, she's a leader and people are following her because they believe in her. It's unthinkable, and she's inclined to believe it's because of Snow and David and their relentless campaign to assure everyone that she's changed, but regardless of the why, the people are willing to fight with and beside her. And it helps…a little, at least.
Until the day Zelena captures her, and sees the brand while she's using magic to throw her sister around, beating her against the walls of her cell. "You have a soulmate," she screeches.
Like it's just one more bit of savage unfairness.
"You'd think it'd be a blessing," Regina murmurs just before she loses consciousness.
When she comes to, Zelena is over her, demanding to know who her soulmate is.
Like maybe she can take her away, too.
"No one you can ever touch," Regina slurs, her mouth swollen. "She's already lost to me."
That gets her lifted and slammed against the wall again, blood on the stone, her body collapsing forward like she's a weak child's doll. Groaning in pain, she thinks she's going to die here, by her sister's hand, and maybe that's some kind of weird poetry. Or maybe it's just really fucking sad.
Zelena grabs her by the face, practically lifting her, screaming, "Tell me."
"Why?"
"Because why should you have one when I can't?"
Regina laughs at that. Laughs and laughs and then the world goes dark and cold.
What else is new?
She and Henry live a perfectly ordinary life. Day in, day out, the same routine.
Always feeling like something is just a little bit off but never understand why that is.
Sometimes waking up in the middle of the night, her heart pounding unnaturally hard.
A doctor (and then a second one does it, too) suggests she suffers from anxiety and panic attacks, and offers her prescriptions to make everything quieter. Instinctively, Emma knows that the drugs won't actually help. Can't explain why, but knows it and politely declines.
Continuing on with a perfectly normal every day kind of life which doesn't seem to actually fit.
Until a man in a leather coat and a thick accent arrives and says, "Your family needs you, Swan."
"Only family I have is my kid; fuck off, dude."
He smiles at her like he'd expected that from her. "Your soulmate needs you," he corrects, and then shakes his head like he can't quite believe his own words. He chuckles to himself and then says, "She really does."
"First, I don't believe in soulmates. It's bullshit sold by scam artists trying to manipulate lonely losers. Second, she? Awfully presumptuous, don't you think? Just because I'm not into you-"
He sighs dramatically, irritated, "Swan, she is going to die if you don't help us."
"Sounds like you have a thing for her. Here, I'll do you a solid – soulmate thing's all yours."
"This is my penance," he counters. "I need you to trust me. Regina needs you to trust me."
"Regina," she echoes, and suddenly feels that familiar burning sensation in her chest.
"Emma, please; she doesn't have much time left, and…I promised…I promised."
It's madness, and Emma thinks she's going to wake up in an alley with only herself to blame.
But…Regina.
Whoever the hell Regina is, anyway.
So she drinks what he gives her, and then she remembers, and he says, "She's in trouble."
She doesn't know why it matters so much (she does), just knows she has to get there.
She wonders if it's compulsion outside of her free will – this true love magic branding crap (yet it's there, she notes, when she's back at the apartment packing a bag for her and Henry). She wonders if any of her thoughts are her own, but then her chest hurts, and it doesn't matter.
She can figure all of that later.
When she knows Regina is safe.
They give Henry the last of the potion when he gets home from school, and he's as frantic as she is, demanding they get to their family; Hook explains what happened once they're through the portal (on the Jolly Roger), telling them that the Wicked Witch has had Regina for over three weeks now. He says Snow had pleaded with him to make this voyage, made him promise that he would bring her and Henry back and find a way to put their family back together again.
He chuckles and says that he finds it funny how much Snow White is hoping for her former enemy to still be alive. Emma doesn't answer that, just looks out at the horizon.
Hand over her chest. She asks, "How did you know…what she is to me?"
"Because she knows what she is to you," he replies.
"Do you…know much about soulmate branding?"
"Aye," he replies, his own eyes on the horizon. "I lost mine. Some wounds don't heal."
Such deep pain, she hears. She swallows. "Is it…do I get to make a choice or –"
"Are you compelled?"
"Yeah." She smiles, thankful that he's said the word and not her.
"I think sometimes the heart knows before the mind does, Swan. But it's always a choice. If your heart didn't know something was there, your body wouldn't. Soulmates isn't some destined by the stars thing – it's something created when two souls finally connect again."
"Again?"
Hook shrugs. "Milah believed we circle different lives to return to each other over and over."
"Do you…believe that?"
"I don't know if I do, but I know that I want to because it means maybe…"
"You'll get to see her again."
He smiles sadly, and then he's walking away, and it's just her wondering about how you pull apart destiny and fate and free will and the idea of some kind of magical cosmic bond.
Land approaches, though, and all those thoughts get pushed to another time.
All that matters right now is saving Regina.
Worrying about what all of those things mean – what Regina means – can wait until after.
She's dying, but not nearly fast enough for her liking.
"Fight back," Zelena growls at her and throws her against the wall again.
Regina thinks bashing her head in is a strange way to get her to rebel, but whatever. Then again, everything about her sister is strange. Including the fact that Zelena hasn't killed her yet.
It's not a trap – she could give two shits about the Charmings.
So why is she being kept alive? For torture?
No, this seems more frustrated. More like Zelena knows that if Regina dies, she'll lose something as well. Like maybe Zelena desperately wants her to show her the point to all of this.
But she doesn't know the point, anymore. Not after all she has lost over the years. She doesn't know and she can only take so much; and in this land, a body can only fracture so much.
Oh, there's healing magic, but Zelena is terrible at it. Eventually, without some kind of other help, her body will fail. At least then, she thinks, wheezing in pain, her heart won't be breaking.
From the loss of Henry, and the possibility of Emma.
She feels Zelena's hands on her face again, "I thought you were stronger than this."
"So did I."
"How could such a weak pathetic waste of a person be worthy of a soulmate?" she demands.
Ah, so back to this, then – they've circled this topic repeatedly over the weeks.
Regina gets it, though; having a soulmate marks her as capable of loving and being loved. She's not sure she buys that, yet there's still a chance of love, and that upsets Zelena. Because the only way she can cope with her own unworthiness for love is if Regina is even less so.
But there's a black tattoo across her breast, and even separated from Emma, it's still there, still binding her to Emma in its way. A reminder that somewhere out there, her soulmate exists.
"I don't know," she admits, and spits blood. "I'm as confused as you are about it."
Zelena pulls back at that, eyes wide. Like for the first time, she's really seeing just how deep her sisters' self-loathing goes. Like she's finally seeing just how kindred they are in this emotion.
She storms away after that, the screech of fleeing monkeys the only sound to be heard.
"You know?" Emma asks her mother as they broke apart from their hugs. "About…her and I?"
"Regina showed me the mark, yes."
"And you're – you're both okay with this?" She looks at Henry, "You are?"
"Right now, I just want my other mother back," he replies, his voice deeper these days.
"And we don't care who she loves or who you love; we just want our family safe. Our whole family now, Emma," Snow answers. "And if there is love between the two of you –"
"Hold up –"
"We get it," David cuts in. "Sometimes soulmates means…connected. A different kind of love."
"A different kind of love? Like –"
"Platonic. Romantic. Partnership. Whatever," Snow tells her, making it all sound terribly sane and reasonable. "That's for the two of you to figure out. Once she's back safely back home."
"Then let's bring her home," Emma says, firm and strong.
And knows deep down (although she's not ready to admit it) what kind of love it actually is.
They storm the castle, and take down the monkeys, and now Zelena and Emma are facing off.
Zelena is spitting angry, screaming, seeming as though she's coming entirely apart, "You!"
And then, "Why her?"
Emma doesn't answer, just fights her back. With Snow and David and Hook at her side.
Zelena falls, crumbling to the ground, tears in her eyes. Perhaps too tired to keep fighting just to have a little more than the nothing she has always had.
Broken, defeated, waiting for a death blow.
Emma lifts her hand, not knowing if she can actually do it. Wondering if heroes are duty-bound to snuff out evil when they have the opportunity to.
"No," they hear, and then see Regina limping in, eyes low and swollen.
She falls beside her sister, and puts her arms around her, like she's protecting her.
"Regina," Emma says in a breath of air, her heart pounding with relief.
Regina looks up at her. "I don't know if you're real or not. I don't know if this is all just a hallucination. What I do know is that all of this pain and loneliness has gone on long enough." She touches her sisters' face, shaky fingers tracing the path of tears there. "You and I, we'll never be worthy if we don't try," she says. And then, her strength finally depleting, and everything fading away from her, she collapses against Zelena's body, entirely at her mercy.
Zelena could easily kill her – yes, she'd be killed then, but she could destroy her sister first. Instead, she murmurs, "Okay." And wraps her arms around Regina as well.
Lowering her to the ground, whispering that she's sorry. Kissing her on the forehead, and saying, "Hold on."
And just like that, it's over.
Emma rushes to her side, and in a flash of inspiration, clutches Zelena's hand and joins their magic and then they're pushing raw white energy into Regina's badly damaged body.
The once Evil Queen cries out in pain and then relief, her body arching, her eyes opening.
She looks at her sister first, offers her a watery smile, and then turns her eyes.
And gasps out, "Emma."
Zelena reluctantly agrees to house arrest back at the Queen's castle; locked inside a well-furnished room until they can decide what the next step should be in dealing with her.
Emma tells them straight out that Regina won't allow her sister to be hurt; she just knows. Not that anyone really intends to, anyway; they're all tired of the pain and bloodshed.
Regina is still wounded, still struggling. Lying under heavy blankets and attended to by the healers nearly constantly, she sweats through a fever, whimpering in her sleep. Henry sits by her throughout, her hand in his as he pleads with her to fight just a little bit harder and longer.
"What if she doesn't make it?" Emma asks her mother. "Then what?"
Because what does it mean when you lose a soulmate?
More importantly, what does it mean if she loses Regina?
From enemies to friends to something more – they've been on this path for years. So drawn together by their divergent personalities. Maybe it's fate or destiny and there's all these little strings grabbing at both of them, but Emma realizes she was choosing this path anyhow.
For a very long time now.
From the moment she stepped into Storybrooke and met Henry's other mother.
She believes she'd stayed for him, but now knows it wasn't just him. Sure, back then it'd been to watch her, to keep an eye on her, but she realizes even then she'd been looking for more.
Believing there had to be more.
She'd been right.
"She's not going anywhere," Snow promises her.
"Mom," Henry calls out. "Come sit with us; she needs good energy right now. She needs us."
Emma nods, and then makes her way over, sitting on the other side of the bed. Her hand reaches out, and she takes the one Henry's not holding.
Then asks, "Henry, what does your storybook say about soulmates?"
"It says you two would be in love even if there was no such thing," he answers.
"Kid –"
"She changed because we believed in her, Emma. Because I did. And Grandma did. And you did."
"That doesn't –"
"Do you…are you in love with her?" Henry presses. "Don't think, Mom, just answer."
"Do you think she's in love with me?"
"You're deflecting," he chides. "And thinking."
"I know. I just…" She smiles thinly at him. "You've grown up so much, you know?"
"Mom –"
"I'm afraid," Emma admits. "Afraid I'll say yes, and she'll die tonight. Afraid I'll say yes, and she doesn't feel the same – that it's just platonic for her. Or that she thinks this whole thing is dumb, and maybe it is. Kid, I'm afraid that I don't have free will in any of this, but –"
"But you love her."
"I do," Emma admits quietly. "Not always, but I think…maybe over the years, it happened."
"Because you two saved each other."
"Because we got to know each other. And I think…recognized ourselves in…each other."
"I'm just a kid," Henry reminds her. "And you're my moms. I think that's enough for tonight."
Emma lets out a breath. Then reaches over and touches his face. "We had a good year?"
"A great year."
"I was a good mom to you?"
"Yeah," he tells her. "You were amazing. But I think you don't have to be alone, anymore."
She smiles at him, but doesn't reply. Doesn't dare to believe as long as Regina's fever rages away. As long as they're in the Enchanted Forest, and left with only hope and prayers.
Oh she dumps in more magic, and Blue even helps, but Regina will have to choose life now.
Zelena can add to it, but Regina had all but given up before, and now she needs to fight.
Emma's terrified of what will happen if Regina chooses not to.
All she can do now…is wait.
To hold Regina's hand, squeeze it tightly, and hope Regina feels it enough to keep fighting.
Days pass, and the fever calms, but still exists.
Whale admits he is worried. It's going on too long. But he reminds them all that she's still alive.
And maybe that means something, too.
Emma's eyes find the tattoo on Regina's chest and on her own, black inky tendrils.
Still a connection. Still life.
She waits and she waits and she waits.
Then, one morning, Regina's eyes open, hazy and bloodshot and so very tired, but aware as she looks up at her family.
Emma grins and says, "Hey."
Though tired and weak, she's up and on her feet a few days later. Embracing Henry and holding him against her, tears falling down her face.
Amazed and so happy to have him back.
To Emma, she says, "You brought him back to me again."
Emma answers, "He brought me home again."
She goes to see her sister, sits with her, and talks to her. Of their ruined lives thanks to their mother, and the terrible choices they've both made in the name of so much raw hurt.
And then, they speak of redemption, and second chances.
Zelena says, "I'll never be good enough. Not to have what you have."
Regina smiles softly. "I don't know what I have. But I know you have me."
"Why?" Zelena asks. "Why would you…offer me that after what I did to you?"
"Because family made me whole. Family healed me."
"You think it can heal me, too?"
"I think we can find out together."
"And what about your soulmate –"
"Emma," Regina corrects. "She might be that, too, but…but she's Emma."
"What does that mean?"
"It means destiny doesn't make my choices. Tacky tattoos don't, either. Just me –"
"I don't understand."
"I think I finally do," Regina answers, and then wraps her arms around Zelena. "You have me. I hope that's enough for you. I hope you'll let us be the sisters we were always meant to be."
Zelena's arms circle her, and she holds on.
Tight. Frantic. Like maybe this really can heal her.
Not today. Maybe not tomorrow.
But...eventually.
It's near midnight when Emma finds Regina sitting out on one of the balconies. She's wrapped in a blanket, but still shivering as she stares out at the dense forest not too far in the distance.
"I guess I'm going to have to get used to this world, aren't I?" Emma asks. Remembering the last time she'd been here, and how she'd been so happy to leave it far behind her.
"Maybe," Regina replies, not yet turning. "I don't think we've given up on going home."
"What about the curse?"
"It didn't break when Henry saw me."
Emma blinks. "I thought…I forgot about that clause."
Regina smiles thinly. "I think the curse I cast is over. All curses are. We just need a new way."
"And if we never find one?"
"Then I guess you'll learn to be a princess," Regina tells her, turning to look at her.
Emma makes a face at that. "If it's all the same –"
"You'd be an ever better constable. Or captain of the guard. Whatever you wish to be."
"What about responsibilities…to everyone…out there?" She motions towards the land.
"The one thing I've figured out…is we have a responsibility to ourselves. Not at the expense of others –" She smiles like this is new knowledge and understanding for her. "But still, I believe that we have a responsibility to figure out our…" she shakes her head like the words fail her.
"Find in all of this," Emma finishes for her.
"Yes. So make a choice. Decide where you want to be. Who you want to be."
"And you? Who do you want to be?"
"Regina. But also the Queen. Just…perhaps not…the Evil Queen."
Emma chuckles at that, sharing a smile with her. Then, softly, "You're cold."
"I am. My body heat seems…not quite right since what I went through."
"Yeah, about that: you scared me," Emma tells her, magicking up another blanket, and then wrapping it around Regina's shuddering frame. As she does so, she catches sight of the inky black tendril of the soulmate tattoo, the loop of it just barely visible beneath her shirt.
"I scared me," Regina admits. Then sighs, "Emma, we need to talk. To each other. Not around."
"About this whole…soulmate binding business?"
"Yes. I presume you have a tattoo as well?"
"Yeah." She lowers her shirt an identical mark. A symbol she doesn't understand.
"It's an R," Regina tells her. "In a very old very lost language. Mine is an E."
"So…you always knew?"
"I knew it was you the moment it appeared. I just…fought it."
"So we were always destined…by magic to be together."
"No, my love," Regina replies, and Emma feels a flutter in her chest. "We were destined to be together because we're the opposite sides of the same coin. We complete each other. And it wasn't fate that made that decision – it was who you and I are. Who our stories and lives made us into, for better or for worse" She leans forward, and places a hand on both sides of Emma's face. "You challenge me and you make me fight in ways I never imagined. Sometimes for bad, but more often for good. You make me see things I never believed I could see. I don't know about fate or destiny, Emma, but I do know that those things are simply…who you are."
Emma's hands cover hers. "You understand why I've…struggled with all of this. It's not you."
"It was me. At least in the beginning. And then it was you and who you are. I understand that more than you can imagine. My life hasn't been my own, either. I hated the idea that some kind of thing decided for me who I should be with. But then I realized, it just knew before we did."
"Hook…said the same thing."
"Occasionally, he has a good thought," Regina replies.
Emma nods. Then, her voice unsteady and uncertain. "Do you –"
"I love you. If that's what you're asking," Regina tells her, voice as strong as Emma's. "I hope you know how terrifying it is for me to say that to you."
"I do. It's…terrifying for me, too. I mean to say to you. Not to hear. That's –"
Regina leans in, then, stopping close. Their eyes meet, and then Regina is kissing her.
She never would have guessed that she'd be making the first move.
Then again, she never would have guessed there'd be a first move.
But there had been and there is, and she and Emma are kissing.
Slow and languid, and then deepening.
Both enjoying it until they both pull back, foreheads together.
Emma says, "Wow."
"I knew you'd say that," Regina chuckles, and then nips Emma's lower lip.
"I meant to say I love you, too."
"I figured as much."
"So now what?"
"Now, you kiss me again, and I kiss you again, and we see where tonight goes. And then tomorrow, we face whatever is out there…whatever choices are out there."
"As…soulmates?" Emma queries.
"No…as us."
"Us," Emma agrees. "Yeah, I'm good with that."
"Fantastic. Then, how about we get back to the really enjoyable part?"
Emma laughs, and then she's leaning in and pressing their lips together. Pulling Regina onto her lap, and kissing her again and again.
From where she is, Regina can perfectly see the black tendril of the tattoo on Emma's breast.
Which makes her think about her own.
She thinks about the binds created by magic.
And then the ones forged by life and journeys taken with one another.
She thinks about changing and finding the best of yourself.
Allowing yourself to be worthy not for another, but for yourself.
She thinks about the ones who help you to see that person.
Who find a way to believe in you when you can't believe in yourself.
The Charmings. Henry. Emma.
Her family.
And now, her love.
Leaning in again, she decides that in the end, they'd made their own fate.
Chosen their own destiny.
Made their own way to each other.
She presses her lips to Emma again, eyes closed.
And lives.
-Fin