I don't own Crossing Lines nor I Don't Mind If You Don't Mind by Ron Pope! My native language is Dutch and I'm dyslectic so sorry for any mistakes.
The one-shot is based on what I think that happened in the season 2 finale and what will happen/expect what we know about season 3. So there could be SPOILERS if you haven't seen the season 2 finale.
The one-shot was inspired by the song I Don't Mind If You Don't Mind by Ron Pope
I'm Alright
Tommy marched into the corridor, which was filled with crime scene techs and police officers. He ignored every one of them and kept heading toward the room at the end of the corridor on the left. Dorn's message had been short and clear. They had to come to Spain right away. It was minutes before they got the message from Hickman that the Major was gone. They had left straight away for Spain and to the hotel. Halfway through the corridor, Sebastian was heading towards him with hands up. His intent was clear: he was going to stop Tommy. But Tommy didn't plan to stop.
'Is she in there?!' Tommy asked in a harsh tone. Sebastian didn't answer. 'Where is she?!' Sebastian grabbed him by his arms, stopping him from marching into the room.
'Tommy, you don't want to go in there,' Sebastian said to him firmly, but Tommy could clearly hear the sadness in his voice. 'It's bad...you don't want to see this.' Tears were forming in Sebastian's eyes. Tommy looked to his left, where Arabela was standing. Tears were rolling over her face. Both had had the chance to look inside, before he could. Just like Dorn, who had run off straight away to deal with things. Tommy hesitantly took a couple of steps back, away from Sebastian's grip, and he put his hands up in defeat. He wasn't going inside. He ran his hands over his head. What was even happening to their team? How had they gone from just another day at the office to losing two of their team members?
The loud and sharp ringing of the doorbell pulled Tommy from the bad memory of that day not long ago. He pushed himself from the couch where he had been sitting ever since he woke up hours ago, placing his beer bottle on the coffee table, and opened the door. Sebastian moved inside as soon as the door was open.
'How are you doing, Tommy?' Sebastian asked as he walked into the room and placed two plastic bags on the table. Tommy moved back to the couch and grabbed his beer bottle again.
'I'm alright.' The sentence had become the new normal to Tommy. It had been his answer to everyone who asked him how he was doing. He was alright. It had been weeks without her and he was alright.
'We're worried about you,' Sebastian said while he walked towards the windows. Light flooded the dark room when he opened the curtains and sounds from outside rushed inside when he opened the window for some fresh air. Tommy had to squint and let his eyes readjust to the light. 'Arabela told me not to buy you anymore alcohol,' the German tech continued. It seemed like he didn't expect much of a conversation with Tommy. 'She said you had enough to last a lifetime.'
'I'm alright, Sebastian,' Tommy sighed and he took another sip from his beer.
'When are you coming back?' Sebastian asked and Tommy shrugged. He hadn't been thinking about work much. 'We can't keep holding Strand off much longer. She wants you back...or to stay away...she wants to have an complete and functioning team.' Tommy looked at his beer bottle and started to pull at the label. Work...that is how all of this had started. He had been too busy with his work to help her and now she was gone.
'You weren't even at Hickman's goodbye party,' Sebastian tried. 'Or at the airport when his flight left. We missed you there. He even asked about you, you know. Told us to look after you...' Tommy sighed again. There had been too many goodbyes by now. First Sienna, then Anne-Marie and now the Major and Eva. It was just too much. He was done with losing his friends. Couldn't they just understand that he had said goodbye too many times? He hadn't even been there at her final goodbye. It had taken him days to go to her grave. And even then it had been too much. All he had done was cry as he stood by her fresh grave. He hadn't said a word, because it wasn't her he was saying those things to. It was just a piece of stone.
Tommy looked at his gloved hands and then at the punching bag in front of him. There was some weird feeling of calmness flooding over him. Not long ago he bought the bag for in his apartment. All so he could avoid going to the gym when he felt the need to punch something, or someone. He flexed his hands and stood in position to start punching.
'I'm...' Punch. 'Alright...' Punch. 'I'm...' Punch. 'Alright...' Punch. It had become like a mantra he had to say over and over. Either out loud or inside his mind, as he was punching the bag. It eased his mind and cleared all thoughts. All that was running through his mind were those three words. It was the only way to survive each day.
I'm. PUNCH. Alright. PUNCH
I'm. PUNCH. Alright. PUNCH
I'm. Alright.
I'm. Alright.
I'm. Alright.
I'm. Alright. I'm. Alright. I'm. Alright.
I'mAlright.I'mAlright.I'mAlright.I'mAlright.I'm...Tommy dropped to his knees, breathing hard, and buried his head in his gloved hands. Tears were streaming down his face. He was not alright. The lie became too much. He was never going to be alright. She was supposed to be here with him. They only had a second when they were supposed to have forever.
She watched him. How the sun was shining on his back and in his neck. How the grass was bending away so he could sit. How his gaze was fixated on what was in front of him. She liked watching him. Although some days it broke her heart to see him. He seemed so lost. She sat down beside him in the grass. He didn't see her nor did he sense that she was near him. Oh, how much she wanted to be with him once more. She followed his gaze to her grave. It still felt so strange to see her own name engraved into a piece of stone. For others it was the place they could find her, but to her it was nothing. She wasn't there. Except for this one moment. Now she was sitting next to him and it felt so strange. She turned her head and looked at his handsome face. There was a great sadness in his eyes. Sadness that she wanted to take away. She wished she could tell him how she felt right there. To tell him it was okay. Slowly she reached out to him and laid her hand on his cheek.
For a short moment they had another second together.
'I'm alright...'
The End
Big thanks to my sister for being my beta!