Uncorking the bottle

I woke up at dawn. Dawn. That ment another day another was beginning... without him.

I heard a baby cry next door. Our baby. I walked into the room and scooped the one year old into my arms. His little hands clinged onto me for dear life. It won't be long now till he won't need me anymore. But I still have a few years left of his babyness. Yes I will be both a mother and a father to him, and tell him all I can about his daddy.

"Ssh little one" I cooed, brushing the striking black hair out of his big eyes. How he looks so much like him, even at this age. It made me so happy, yet sad too, to see the image of him again.

I took Goten downstairs to get his breakfast. 'He's a true saiyen', I thought, pulling not one, but eight jars of baby food out of the the pantry. After I fed him, I prepared my twelve year old's breakfast. Then I took Goten upstairs to wake up his big brother.

My Gohan, so brave and mild. He wouldn't hurt a fly, but would die for the ones he loved. Just like his dad.

"Go-an, Go-an!" Goten burbled happily as Gohan shook himself awake. He smiled adoringly at his baby brother and picked him up off the bed. "Good morning champ!" Gohan laughed as he swung Goten around, playing aeroplane. 'At least he has Gohan to do that with' I thought to myself.

"Gohan breakfast is ready", I told him relieving him of his little brother, who was pulling at his wild spikey black hair.

"Thanks mom", and he left to go the the bathhroom. I watched him walk away my heart filling with pride. He was the perfect son and the only one who pulled me through the death. I couldn't have done it without him.

After breakfast Gohan went to the woods to spar with Piccolo. It was a comfort to him having Piccolo there, I could tell, but nothing could replace his daddy.

After he left, I drove over to visit Bulma and Trunks, with Goten, in West City. Bulma had called me the previous evening and invited me over for a few hours to chat. I think she thought I was lonely.

Bulma greeted me enthusiastically at the door of Capsule Corp. "Hey Chichi! Trunks couldn't wait to see Goten!" and with that a purple haired toddler stumbled out the door. I set Goten down, who laughed as Trunks ran towards him.

"Tunks, Tunks!" he yelled, and Trunks managed to say "Goten, play!"

As the babies laughed and played together on the rug, I turned to face Bulma. Her being my best friend was no accident. A long time companion of Goku's on his journies as a child, I trusted her deeply. Both wives of Saiyens, both mothers of Demis, and both storng in our own right, we were the same.

"Oh Bulma it fills my heart with joy to see our babies play together" I started and Bulma finshed, "I know, they'll always be best friends, I can tell... But Chichi I understand what you're going through right now".

This surprised me because I hadn't said anything. Apparently I didn't need to. She just knew.

"What do you mean?" even though I knew, I knew very well.

"Chich' it's been 2 years since Goku passed, and you've still yet to talk about it. The pain you must've felt when he died and then discovering you were pregnant-". She broke off seeing tears in my eyes.

"I'm sorry Chichi, I didn't mean to upset you, I-", but I stopped her and said, "No you're right Bulma. I've bottled up what I've felt for too long. Lets talk about it."

This was a big step for me. I hadn't even talked about it with Gohan yet. 'But there's certain things i couldn't tell him anyway', I thought and blushed. Besides there's no one i trusted more than Bulma.

I took a deep breath and began. "Bulma the night before the Cell Games was the most passionate and saddest nights of my life. we made love, we talked and he held me in his arms all night. For once he was all mine and I was all his. I cried bitter tears at the thoughts of him not coming back, but he wiped them away and he said that no matter what happened he would always love me, and he would always be with me".

I took another deep, shuddering breath as I continued. "I begged him not to go but I knew he had to, still I had to try. But I couldn't watch the love of my life walk out that door without offering words of comfort and love. 'Goku I know you'll do whatever you can to save the earth, you always do..., but please this time try and come back to me... I love you', and he held me close and kissed me one last time. I wanted to stay in that moment forever, but then we broke apart and he walked away. I asked him to not let Gohan fight, but he said Gohan had to and he flew away before i could stop him... stop him from leaving. Thats the last time I saw him in person." At this stage tears were silently falling into my lap.

Bulma looked stricken. "Oh Chichi I had no idea you shared such a painful goodbye", she grasped my hand.

I kept going. "When Gohan came back alone, after defeating that monster, I was inconsolable. How could he take my Goku away? My love sacrificed himself and Cell still came back... Its not fair!" I flared up at once angry and heart-broken.

Bulma hugged me hard. I sighed deeply, but I kept going. "The thoughts of him never coming back were so painful, but it was compounded by the fact that he didn't want to be revived. I was angry at the time and until a few months ago I thought I could never forgive him. I was pregnant and all alone, besides Gohan." I looked across at Goten. "But one night, as I held Goten in my arms I realised that what Goku did was for the earth's safety. Dying and not coming back. It was to prevent another monster coming after him. He was being noble and it probably hurt him the most to do it."

I scooped Goten into my arms, who squealed with delight . "And he left me this amazing gift", I said squeezing the adorable clone of Goku in my arms.

Bulma gave me a watery smile. It felt so good to get this off my chest, which was heaving after retelling the tale that was buried so deeply in my heart.

Bulma and I talked for four more hours about Goku, Vegeta, our children and a brighter future.

"I'll come over on Sunday, ok? I'm so glad we talked Chichi. It made me realise just how amazing and strong you are." She hugged me again. I was so touched by this remark that i hugged her back hard.

We wiped away our tears and I took Goten home.

-The End-