THE REVENGE OF PEANUT-THE BEGINNING

The day of the dog.

One day, Peanut, my least favourite character from Animal Crossing got pregnant. Perhaps it Joey who got her knocked up maybe Antonio. Nah, on second thoughts I suspect Antonio's gay.

However she's a single mum who lives in a crappy house with no bells and…

Peanut: Hey! Why is the author being so nasty to me, I'm brilliant.

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE: Because you little pipsqueak you ….

Film crew: Don't say it Charles, don't say it!

MEEE: Go to hell! Jesus, where did you guys come from?!?

Film crew: We're here to make it into a movie.

Me: It's a play not a movie, get out of here.

Guy starts filming.

Me: Looks like I'll have to take drastic action. Hey guys in my town anyone got an AK-47 I could borrow?

Guys in my town: No. Sorry.

Ribbot: I have a cool fruit table.

Me: You can't kill an annoying film crew with a giant grapefruit half covered in robot rabbit faeces.

Suddenly to save time a hand sticks out of nowhere and gives me an AK-47.

Me: Thanks. Weird hand guy to my rescue again.

Me: Now a bit of shoot 'em up. HEHEHE!

Suddenly a sausage dog comes and urinates on my gun, thus rendering it useless.

Me: Fcking dog!

Film crew: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAy for the dog.

Suddenly the sausage dog, who is called Colin for some reason, turns with a –I'm-about-to-pee- look on the film crew. He then proceeds to urinate on them thus rendering them dead.

Me: Wow! A sausage dog called Colin with lethal urine.

Suddenly Colin marches into my A.C. town.

Guys in my town: NOOOOOOO run and hide, I know rush through the gates to another town. One by one they spoke to the retarded dog who took a ridiculously long time to check them through. While people waited to escape the onslaught of dog piddle, Joey said 'Hey guys just brain the guards and open the gates wider so we can all get through. And so they killed the dogs and ran.

The mayor and all the shop owners ran and hid in Brewster's coffee shop. Brewster was surprisingly calm about the situation.

Brewster: Coffee while anyone listens to K.K. sing K.K. condom?

Guys: Brewster you do realise that we're not here for your god awful coffe or to listen to K.K. sing about the time he used a condom, we're hiding from Colin the dog.

Colin: Ruff!

Everyone: Aaaaaaahhh.

Everybody ran except for Nibbles who had decided to stay in town because she was Tom Nook's fiancé. Nibbles sat calmly drinking her coffee not realising ( because her iPod was plugged in) that Colin was menacingly cocking his leg. Suddenly Nibbles looked up and said

Nibbles: Blimey, that one must be 11 inches, bit big for a dog.

Colin: I am a sausage dog we have always had big whatchamacallits

Nibbles: Yeah but having a tail that big must be a real chore.

Suddenly she is squirted with urine.

K.K.: Sorry my bad. And my urine.

Nibbles: Eeeeeew.

Dog urine pours all over her.

Nibbles Nooooooooooo! At least I die married with kids.

Tom Nook: Sorry honey I killed them for fresh meat to sell.

Nibbles: NOOOOOOO

Tom: And I'm leaving you.

Nibbles: That's ok I hated you anyway.

Tom: For your sister

Nibbles: NOOOO etc.

Nibbles: Fcking dog

Me: That's what I said. I then shoot everybody with my new AK-47. Unfortunately the dog escapes. Now back to the plotline. Oh shit, everybody's dead. Ah well, just for the purposes of this fan fic Peanut you're alive again.

Peanut (in an annoying squeaky voice) : YAAAAAY! Beauty is only skin deep, oh that's not true I'm perfect on the inside as well.

She then giggles.

Me: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH NO WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!?