Good God, I have not done one of these in YEEEEEAAAAAARS! What a shame. I should really pick this up again. I think I shalllllindeeeeeeed.
Hyper tonight. Anyway, I don't own any of the characters in this piece except for myself of course, and all that good stuff. Enjoy!
Discussions in My Room
This Week Staring Beetlejuice
I was laying in my bed, staring up at my ceiling and thinking about things. Just things in general, nothing too important or big. Mostly wondering why in the heck I got stuck next to a girl who had parties at 2 AM in the morning when I specifically requested a quiet neighbor. I was paying extra for a private room; they could at least have gotten that right!
It was a Tuesday night and I had an exam that next day. I had studied plenty for it, so that wasn't the problem, and it wasn't like I never stayed up, but on a night before a big test, I liked to try to get the full eight hours of sleep recommended by medical specialists. And it was currently impossible thanks to my neighbor.
I glanced over at my clock. 1:29 AM.
"Dear Gooood," I groaned. "Why? Why me? Why of all nights does she have to have her boyfriend over tonight?"
"Oooh, college chicks getting freaky, huh? Might need to get out my camera for this one."
My eyes shot open and I saw levitating above me the self-titled Ghost With the Most, complete with frizzy white hair, moldy skin and horrid stripped jacket. I instantly began screaming bloody murder.
He clamped a hand over my mouth and laid next to me on the bed, cuddling close. "Aw, babe, really? Screaming already? You'll make a guy feel unwanted!"
I shoved him away and gagged, rubbing my face furiously where his hand had been. "Get off my bed! I'm going to have to wash everything tomorrow thanks to you!"
He sighed and floated around for a minute. I prayed that he wasn't about to host a ghostly frat-party in my dorm room. The last time he had done that, Campus Security had been called by at least seven people and afterwards they had to have twelve priests come through to bless the place in order to get all the ghostly residue out. We all had to move out-
Suddenly, a Scathingly Brilliant Idea came to my mind and I got a grin not unlike the Grinch's when he thought of stealing Christmas from Whoville. "Oh, Beej, darling?" I sang out sweetly. "Would you like something to do?"
He immediately flew back to my side, his face only millimeters away from mine. I tried to ignore the repugnant smell coming from his mouth as he spoke. "Aw, now you're talking my language, babe! Knew you'd think of something for Ol' Beetlejuice to do."
I grinned back at him and pointed at the wall next to mine. "The chick in there is a screamer, if you get my meaning, but it sometimes takes a bit of effort, from what I've unfortunately heard. I'm sure her boyfriend would appreciate some help in that department."
The most wicked grin came over his face and he kissed my cheek. It was, for once, a non-perverted gesture, and I didn't push him away. "You're a doll. Totally getting a Birthday Card from me this year."
"Mm, as long as you don't send snakes along with it," I told him. With a cackle, he turned invisible and I saw the wall distort momentarily where he faded through it. I lay back in my bed, waiting, waiting, waiting…
And then- "JESUS CHRIST ON A CRUTCH!" Screams of terror, smashing sounds, crashing, banging, demented laughter and shrill sounds coming from someone… At some point, I'm fairly certain I heard a pig in the mix, but I had no intention of asking about that ever. Some things were better left unknown, especially when it came to Beetlejuice. I closed my eyes, an expression of peace on my face as I drifted off to the sounds of pandemonium coming from the wall.
The door next to mine flew open and then slammed shut while footsteps rushed out and I sighed contentedly. There was complete silence. And then- a giggle.
My eyes flew open as I heard a moan coming through the wall, and then gasps and whimpers. As the sounds rose in volume, my face turned red and I threw my shoe at the wall. "THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID HER BOYFRIEND WOULD APPRECIATE SOME HELP!" I shouted.
I really should have known that he'd somehow manage to get into her pants. Last time I ask for his help with that.
In any case, this is just a funny ficlet that came to mind. Feel free to drop a review if you liked it. This was just for fun, so not really looking for a bunch of criticism here. Hope you enjoyed it!
ALSO, if anyone can pick out the line from a movie that I put in here and name it successfully, they get to pick the next featured character in DIMR! As long as I know who it is.