POVs flip between Abby and Gibbs.
It takes a lot to shake me. I mean, I'm a big girl; I work with bits and pieces of dead people and their possessions all the time. But this one scares me. I'm an orphan. Two hours ago, some lawyer called to tell me my mother died of a heart attack. I haven't moved from the spot I was sitting in sense the phone hung up.
I should be working but we don't have a case. This is probably going to be the one time I would want to have worked with someone else, then someone else would already know and I wouldn't have to tell people. If I don't move from this spot or say anything maybe its not true.
I think I just heard the doors open behind me, but I don't want to check. "Abby? What are you doing on the floor?" It's Gibbs. God, now I have to tell him. I could always just say I'm drunk, or I was rocking out a little too hard. He won't buy it though. I couldn't say it out loud. My voice got all tight and my mouth all-dry when I tried to say it. So I signed it. That made it worse; I have no one left to sign to.
He sat next to me and pulled me into his chest, rubbing my back in small circles, "Oh, Abby, I'm so sorry." Nothing was said for a while.
I heard the doors open again, "What's going on?" it was Director Shepard. He gave her the its serious look and I guess she understood what ever it was it wasn't good. He told her he was going to take me home and that he would fill her in later. He picked me up and carried me out of the lab, through the main corridors, and to his car.
The drive to my apartment was quite. I still hadn't managed to say anything, but stared out into the abyss, I have no one left. I am all alone in this world. I held out my hand and gave him my keys. 20 minutes later he returned with my clothes. Another silent drive later and we were at his house. He went to pick me up again but I shook my head and walked clumsily into the living room. I lay down on the sofa, not able to sleep but too exhausted to move.
Gibbs went into his room, I guess to call the director to let her know what had happened. Some time later he returned and a little while after that she was at the door. She had brought some kind of take away with her and sat some in front of me. The two of them went into the kitchen, to talk and eat. I guess they wanted some privacy, but I could still hear them.
"Has she said anything yet?" she asked.
"No. Poor kid. I want to go with her to the funeral, it's a long ways away and I don't think it would be good for her to go alone." He responded.
"I'm sure NCIS can survive a few days without us." She said before taking a drink. If they said anything more it was in whispers because I couldn't hear. Or maybe I didn't want to hear.
When they had finished eating they came back to the living room and sat near me, "Abby you need to eat." Gibbs said handing me the sandwich. I knocked it out of his hand and it landed on the floor making a mess. He looked angry but didn't say anything, just cleaned it up.
They went about their evening, making hotel and flight arrangements. I still hadn't managed to speak, the idea of talking seemed completely strange. Gibbs picked me up again and took me to the spare room I had stayed in so many times before. Director Shepard followed him and dressed me in my pajamas.
After Jenny put Abby in her pajamas, we tucked her into and left the room. "So do you want to stay the evening?" I asked her. She looked away from me.
"I don't think that would be a good idea. But could you come get me tomorrow on your way to the airport?" she asked.
I nodded, "Of course." I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. She was the only woman I ever truly loved like this besides Shannon. And the only other woman I should have married, those other three were no comparison to these two. "Good night Jen." I walked her to the door and watched as she got in her car and drove off.
I went and showered and got dressed for bed and went to check on Abby. She wasn't in bed. I know we put her in there but where did she get off too? My gut told me she would be in the basement, with a good chance of being drunk. I found her near the boat, oh god, last time she broke the stupid thing. But this time she wasn't even trying to work on it, just taking large gulps from the bourbon bottle. I cleared my throat to make my presence known, she spun around. "Hi." She said weakly. She tried to walked to me but stumbled and fell to the ground.
I rushed to her side, "Abby," she slurred some things I couldn't understand, "its ok, I've got you little one." From the looks of it, Abby had downed the almost the whole bottle. I hoisted her up once more and took her to her room. After I placed her in bed, she pulled at my arm. I gave in to her. I slept on top of the blankets next to her, I was hoping it would keep her in bed and if she woke up screaming at least she wouldn't be alone.
The next morning I went to pack my things before she woke up, and then get her ready to go.
I woke up in the spare room at Gibbs' house, it hadn't all been some jacked up dream. I got out of bed and went to take a shower. While I was drying my hair I heard a knock on the door. "Abs, we need to leave in a couple minutes, are you almost ready?"
"I guess." I managed to get out. My mouth was still dry and my throat still pretty tight but at least I was getting a handle on it. After I got dressed, I got in the back seat of the car and we drove off. "This isn't the way to the airport." I pointed out.
"I know, we have to go pick up Jenny." I rolled my eyes, how pathetic did I come off last night that I need my bosses to take me to the airport? I guess he saw me in the rear-view mirror, "Don't roll your eyes little girl, we are going with you and that's the end of it, understood?" I simply nodded my head.
He pulled up her driveway, put her stuff in the trunk, and she got in the car, "Feeling any better today?" she asked me. I mumbled a no. The rest of the trip to the airport was silent; I didn't say anything while getting our tickets or checking our luggage. I didn't want to talk to them. They were treating me like I was some pathetic baby they needed to handle, not a co-worker. I sat down at the terminal and put my iPod in so I wouldn't be forced to talk to anyone. It would be easier then handling their questions and trying to make me feel better.
My poor little Abby was in a right state. Not that I blame her but still. But there I was with my two best girls, Jenny and Abby. Unfortunately, neither one of them were truly mine. Abby put her iPod on full blast, so it was basically just the two of us. "So when is our flight supposed to start boarding?" I asked her.
"20 minutes or so. Has Abby said anything?"
"Not really. She mumbled some things in her sleep but I doubt that that counts." I glanced over at her, her black hair was in a single pony-tail instead of her trademark piggy-tails, she wasn't wearing all of her black make-up, nor any of her spiked collars, just a black dress, some black heels instead of her boots, a single ring on her right ring finger. I looked at her and put my arm around her. She tensed up for a moment but relaxed into me directly there after.
"All passengers for flight 5497 to New Orleans your flight is now boarding." Called some woman over the loud speaker.
I poked Abby, "Come on Abs, its time to board the plane." I told her. I helped her up and directed her and Jenny to the queue. The flight was extremely similar to the time sitting in the terminal.
After we landed Jenny got the rental car and we drove to the hotel. Abby immediately collapsed on one of the beds. I looked at Jenny, she had booked only one room in her haste, it looks like we will be sleeping together again after all. I put all the bags on the other bed and helped Jenny unpack. Afterwards we lay down on the bed, and ended up falling asleep.
When I woke up, Abby was pushing on my shoulder, "Yes my dear?"
"I'm kind of hungry." She said quietly. I started to sit up when I realized Jen was curled up on me.
I nudged her gently. "Wake up, its time for dinner." I told her. I stood up and asked Abby where she wanted to go to get some dinner. We went to some hole in the wall diner, the kind where you have to bring moist toilets and wipe the seats off if you don't want to get stuck to them.
I felt really stupid. Why did they have to come with me? I could have handled this one by myself, I have to, I have to do everything by myself now. My father has been dead for a long time, my brother died in a car accident a few years ago, and now my mother is dead too. I'm the last one standing.
Gibbs and the director sat across from me with that strange look they both wear so well. I could tell they wanted to talk about my mother but I couldn't. To tell the truth, its not like my mother and I had the best relationship out there, but now she is gone and I can't get it back to try and fix it.
I didn't say anything to them; I didn't want to start crying again like a 5 year old, much less in public and in front of my superiors. Once our burgers arrived every time they tried to ask me something I would shove a big bite in my mouth. After the 5th attempt they finally seemed to catch on.
Gibbs paid and we went back to the hotel. I saw them exchange those worried glances at me and then to one another. I immediately went to the bathroom to change and got under the covers, grabbed the remote and flipped mindlessly through the channels. One at a time Gibbs and the director went and changed clothes. They awkwardly got into the other bed.
An hour or so later Gibbs cleared his throat, "Abby, I think its time to go to bed, turn off the TV please." I did as instructed and flopped onto my stomach to go to sleep. I couldn't sleep though; I heard the gentle snores coming from the other bed. I grabbed Bert and snuggled into the little space left between Gibbs and the edge of the bed. I am not sure if he was aware of it or not, but he wrapped his free arm around me and I snuggled into his side, finally I could sleep.
I woke up the next morning with a lot of weight on my chest, I looked down to find Abby on my left and Jen on my right. It was one of those moments that should have been perfect, and would have been if it were my wife and my daughter up against me instead of just my Abby and my Jenny.
Jenny woke up first; I brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. This would all be so wonderful if we weren't together like this to bury Abby's mother. At least she was sleeping soundly for the moment, I don't know when or how she ended up in our bed but I was beginning to think that Jen should have just gotten us a room with a king size, so everyone would have enough space. But this way they had to be close. "Good morning." I said softly to Jenny.
"Morning yourself." Then she did something that even I didn't see coming. She sat up in bed and kissed. It had been a very long time sense our lips had met, but it still felt so perfect and right. Without a word she got out of bed and went to shower.
The noise of the shower I guess woke Abby up. "Good morning Abigail." I kissed the top of her head, and she moved Bert farted.
"Morning Gibbs." Abby didn't get out of bed though; she didn't seem to want to loosen my grip around her at all. It didn't bother me, I would have stayed there forever if I thought it would make her feel better, but the funeral was only a few hours away and we had to get ready. Once Jenny got out of the shower I let Abby up so she could follow suit.
"Nice shower?" I asked her.
"As nice as to be expected. I trust Abby slept ok?" she asked.
"Your guess is as good as mine, but she definitely slept better then she had been."
"Well, you should get out of bed. We have a long and difficult day ahead of us. Get dressed." She commanded, or tried to anyway. I indulged her and got out of bed and dressed, by the time Abby made it out of the bathroom I was completely ready to go and waiting on the girls.
Unfortunately, girls being girls had to put on make-up and change their minds about hair and attire six times, I really wanted to shout that the dead are dead and aren't going to care, but I held it in. I opened their car doors before getting in to the driver's seat and drove off to the funeral home. Jenny got out of the car and went on in to figure out where everyone was supposed to be and deal with that for Abby. Abby didn't move, not even to unbuckle her seat belt. I got out of the car and back into the back seat to sit next to her.
She didn't say anything for several minutes, then finally, "I can't do this." It took a lot for her to say that, I've never seen her like this before.
I undid her seat belt and put my arms around her, "Whatever you want to do is fine with me. I'll drive us to the airport and fly us to Mexico right now if it will help." She looked at me, smiled slightly, and shook her head no. "Ok then Miss Abigail, what are we going to do?"
She was quite for a few minutes, "I guess we should go in then." She said quietly. I nodded, got out of the car, walked over to her side and opened her car door and extended my hand, she took it and we walked towards the door.
There was no turning back now, I was getting closer and closer to the door to the funeral home. Director Shepard was waiting at the door to direct me where I should be. I know that its not right, but I didn't really pay that much attention to what was being said. I just kept remembering all the fights we had over everything and anything.
I sat there thinking about the time I was twelve and I told her I would rather drink bleach than spend a vacation with her. And the time I was sixteen and I told her that I wasn't a virgin, I didn't care what she thought, and she could, well you know something not very good, a sign everyone knows.
I just sat that signing "I'm sorry I was bad." Over and over again. Gibbs noticed, like he notices everything, and tried to hold my hands still. My aunt claimed my mother's ashes for herself afterward and that was pretty much it.
At the wake I could hear all of my relatives making snide comments about me and how they couldn't believe I even showed up. That cut pretty badly too, not only are all of my family members dead, but also now people I don't even talk to are complaining about my tats not being respectful and that I should have just stayed home.
As I was getting pretty upset Gibbs wrapped me up in his arms, someone behind him made another comment, he spun around and backhanded my cousin Suzi in the face. I'd never seen him hit someone in the face before; he always says the face is too humiliating to hit someone there. "Apologize." He commanded.
"I don't have to do anything you say, you're lucky I don't call the cops right now." She fired back.
He wiped out his badge, flashing his gun briefly, "Special Agent Jethro Gibbs, NCIS, now apologize."
She stared at him for a moment trying to decide what the best move would be before mumbling, "Sorry Abby."
"Abby, Jenny, I think its time we leave." With that we left.
When we got back to the hotel the director went to take a shower, and it was just me and Gibbs. After several minutes of silence he finally said, "Ask whatever it is you want to ask me Abby."
"Why did you hit her?" I asked quietly.
Without any hesitation what so ever he said, "No one insults one of my kids and gets away with it." A moment or so later, "I was almost hoping someone might try to take a swing at you, its been a few days sense I shot someone." He laughed at that last comment, and so did I.
"So if I'm your daughter what is everyone else?" I asked him, smiling once more.
"Well lets see, Tony is the older brother jock, Ziva is the kick ass sister everyone thinks is super hot but is terrified of, McGee is the younger brother who gets picked on a lot but everyone has his six, and you my dear are the baby."
"But what about Palmer and Ducky and the Director?"
"Ducky is the grandfather, and Palmer is either a foster child or a weird cousin without a background."
"And I," the director said coming from the restroom, "am the mother. And like the woman says in My Big Fat Greek Wedding 'The father is the head of the family, but the mother is the neck and she moves the head anyway she wants.'"
I couldn't believe it had taken Abby this long to realize, even with her biological family gone, her NCIS family was all around her all the time and loved her very much. But Jenny, that was another story completely. I had hoped she hadn't be listening but now at least I could make jokes at her for a while about being the mom.
"Well little girl, it looks like its time for bed, we have to get up early to catch our flight tomorrow morning." Jenny said.
Abby didn't even bother getting into her bed and snuggled up to my left side, a moment or so later Jen followed suit onto my right. I kissed the tops of both of their heads, and at the same moment they kissed either of my cheeks. "Night Daddy." Abby said softly. It reminded me of Kelly, when she would have nightmares, for two weeks straight she kept having the same scary dream about some monster in her closet and wouldn't sleep in her own bed.
The next morning we packed up to go home. It was fairly quite, I could tell that the 'parents' were thinking about something, but I couldn't figure out what. The ride to the airport was pretty quite, I guess, I was listening to my iPod and not really paying attention.
After going through security we went to the food court for breakfast. "Abby what do you want?"
"Bagel with cream cheese." I replied blankly. I was still digesting the day before.
"Is there going to be a 'please' in there young lady?" he asked as a joke.
Never one to put down a challenge, "Please can I have a bagel and cream cheese," I paused for a moment, "Daddy?"
A small smile formed around his face, "Sure thing my dear, and you?" he asked the director. She told him some yogurt would be fine. He walked off to go find the food.
Once he was gone she turned to me, "How are you doing today Abby?"
"I'm fine, a little tired but that's about it." I grabbed my iPod and turned it back on high, hoping she would take the hint I wasn't in the mood to talk.
I walked back and saw Abby putting those iPod things in her ears again. I deposited the bagel in front of her along with a juice box, sat next to Jenny and gave her the yogurt cup. "So I take it mommy said something she shouldn't?" I asked her.
"No, I just asked how is doing, and she iPodded up." She said as she opened her cup.
"Well maybe she'll be better once we get home." I looked out into the distance, "You know, once the other kids have a chance to get at her and pep her up a bit." We sat and chatted for 20 minutes or so before we went to the terminal and boarded the plane. I sat in between the two of them and Abby sat staring out the window. After about an hour, I poked her and pulled one of the iPod earpieces out of her ear, "You want to tell me why you shut mom out earlier?"
"Not really." She said quietly. After another moment or so she said, " I guess I don't really get a choice, do I?" I shook my head no. "I don't know."
"That's not an answer."
"I just didn't want to talk." She said quietly. "I still don't want to talk. So leave me alone!" she shouted.
The flight attendant rushed over, "Is everything ok?" she asked looking worried.
"Yes, everything is fine. Could you get my daughter some water or something?" I asked her. She nodded quickly and went off to get her something to drink. Abby looked worried now, "Give me your iPod." I said calmly. She didn't move, "Now Abigail." Slowly she took the other earpiece out and wrapped it around and handed it to me. "We'll talk about this later."
I heard the anger in his voice. Was I really that loud? I guess so, I tried to get a look at him, oh yea, he's pissed. His jaw and shoulders are tight and he is looking straight ahead. Oh god, I can't believe I made him that mad. I guess the grace period of my mom just died was over. I knew I was pushing his buttons the last couple of days but didn't think it was this bad.
The plane landed 2 hours later, and we got off the plane. After getting our baggage, we got back into Gibbs's car and drove back to his house. He didn't seem to remember to take the director home, but she didn't seem to mind.
I didn't even have to be told, I went up to the spare room and sat on the small bed. I couldn't really hear all of the conversation, but Gibbs was yelling, I couldn't really understand what, I think it might have been French. Great, I didn't do so well in that class, all I really learned was that douche is shower. That's not really going to help me now.
I've never made him this angry before, this is bad. I've got one of those stupid 'I'm a naughty five year old' knots in my stomach. After about 5 minutes of yelling his voice softens. I can't hear anything that is being said any more, not that it was doing me any good to hear stuff I don't understand.
I wish he would just yell at me and get it over with. It'd be much simpler, I'm the one he is mad at. I hate having to wait on him to come and yell at me. I really do feel like a little kid all over again. This blows.
"Pourquoi a-t-elle faire ça?" I yelled. It seemed easier to yell and have my fit in a language she wasn't going to understand then potentially say something I may regret later.
"Parce qu'elle est un enfant et ils vis de temps en temps, regardez DiNozzo." Jenny responded much calmer then I had been on the shouting. She did have a point there though, Tony was always screwing up, I don't think a day has gone by in the last few years that his head hasn't had a visit from my hand.
"How am I supposed to deal with this one? Seriously? Its not a work thing, it's a 'bratty teenager' behavior, and if you recall, I've not had a teenage daughter." I said quietly.
"Oh Jethro, you're making a big deal out of basically nothing." She said sweetly. I looked at her, God she is beautiful. "Kids make mistakes, but you've got to get past it. She has had a really bad couple of days and just couldn't hold it in any longer."
"Why don't you deal with it then, Mommy?" She grinned at me.
"Why not together? That way when you start going off on some tangent about how no Marine has ever talked to you that way and no NCIS lab tech ever will either, I can buffer." I nodded and we walked up the stairs to greet Abby.
She looked nervous, no doubt about that one. Poor kid, did I really come off that evil? I know I was shouting but nothing horrible. "Abby, we need to talk. And before you say 'you don't want to,' its important." I paused for a moment to make sure my tone was in-check. "So now, I want you to tell me why you've been shutting us out." A moment or so after she still hadn't spoken, "That wasn't a request."
"I dunno." She shrugged. I gave her one of those looks, "I guess I just thought, if I pushed you away first, it wouldn't hurt so much when you leave." She admitted quietly.
"Oh Abby. I'd never leave you." He said pulling me into a hug. But didn't he understand? He has left me before. And then there is always that whole death thing… I kept thinking about something my mother had told me when my father died, 'No one gets out alive.' I gently pushed her chin up to get her eyes to meet mine. "I'll always be here for you Abs, most likely with a Caf-Pow in hand."
"But Gibbs. What if you decied you don't want to work at NCIS anymore, again, or what if you die, you know I had a friend once, that was all 'I'm not going to leave you.' Either but his wife was all 'Damn it, I'm more important.' Come to think of it she was a bitch. God why did he ever marry her? That's almost as bad as that time McGee was getting some from his neighbor that like to use his credit cards to see how far she could push him, man if I was him I'd cut this bitch, why would anyone eve…."
"Abby." Gibbs started, "Abby, I love you. And I'm glad your talking again." He said, then he kissed my the top of my head, "But now, I think you should get some sleep, you've probably got a huge pile of evidence to process tomorrow."