Nothing Shameful

Bruce sat at the kitchen table, cradling his cup of coffee. There was something wrong with Tony and he had no idea what that could be. They had always had a very open line of communication. He knew that Tony had issues, so for his sake and the sake of their relationship they talked about everything. It was the only way that Tony would know that Bruce was there for him and that he wasn't going anywhere.

Bruce sipped his coffee and sighed. Tony Stark always tried to appear confident as if he didn't have a care in the world; but the fact was he had major abandonment issues. Howard had really done a number on him, so even as an adult (never mind the fact that he was Iron-Man) he still feels that everyone will find a reason to leave him. Bruce was determined to show him that he wasn't going anywhere, even if it took the rest of his life.

He loved Tony and there wasn't anything that he wouldn't do for him. He just knows that Tony doesn't always open up, sometimes he feels like he can't. So if there is something that Bruce wants to know he asks but he doesn't push the issue. He knows that if he is patient then eventually Tony will open up and tell him what it going on.

Tony walked into the kitchen, wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt, his hair was disheveled and Bruce didn't like the dark circles that seemed to be ever present; telltale signs that Tony's nightmares were back. As Tony got a mug of coffee and sat across from Bruce, he looks up and sees that Bruce's eyes are full of concern. "What?"

"Did you take your Xanax this morning? I don't even think that you made it to bed last night." Bruce got up from his side of the table, and stood beside Tony. Tony had his head down and was staring intently at his hands, which were folded, in his lap. Bruce put his hand under Tony's chin to get him to look up, the first thing that Bruce noticed was how vulnerable he looked, how lost. The second thing that he noticed was that Tony had tears making their way down his face.

"Tony, what's all this about?" As he spoke he thumbed away the stray tear that had made its way half way down Tony's face.

Tony took a deep breath. He reminded himself that this was Bruce, the love of his life, the man that one day he would marry, the man that he wanted to grow old with. He knew that if they were going to start building a life together then Bruce would need to know all of his secrets, no matter how trivial Tony thought they were. "I don't know how you could love me." Tony bit his bottom lip and his eyes became wet with unshed tears, "Do you love me?"

Bruce took both of Tony's hands into his. "Of course I do. Tony, honey, you don't ever need to doubt that I love you. If there's something that I said or did that made you feel this way, you can tell me." It broke Bruce's heart to see Tony looking so lost.

Tony put a hand in his hair and pulled it slightly. He sighed as he felt Bruce put his hand over his own. Tony was tempted to move Bruce's hand, but Bruce just carded his fingers through Tony's hair. Tony sighed and melted into Bruce's touch. Bruce placed a soft kiss on his boyfriend's forehead and waited for the explanation that he knew was coming.

Tony stood up, after removing Bruce's hand from his hair, standing up would have been too difficult if he hadn't. He looked into the soft brown eyes and tapped the blue light on his chest with his index finger. "This." His voice was barely audible and the tears that he'd been holding back were now falling at an alarming rate.

Bruce pulled Tony against his chest, rubbing small circles on his back. Bruce slowly swayed holding Tony to his chest; one hand still rubbing circles while the other cradled the back of his head. "Tony, Tony, Tony…I love you. I'll do anything to be with you, and I'm never going to leave you. You've stayed with me through everything; you've accepted the fact that as much as I hate the Other Guy, he's still here. Your arc reactor is a part of you, it keeps you alive. I'm not quite sure why you're so self-conscience about it but you shouldn't be."

Tony felt secure being encircled by Bruce's arms, with his head being cradled against the other man's chest. He took a deep breath, inhaling Bruce's scent as he tried to will his tears to stop; he felt that crying was a sign of weakness. The last thing that he wanted to do was appear weak, despite that he hugged Bruce as tight as he could.

Bruce just stood there, swaying as he hummed softly. He knew that Tony had been through a lot, blamed himself for a lot and probably always would. He just hoped that one day Tony would be able to forgive himself. He kissed the top of his boyfriend's head as he steered him towards the bedroom. Tony knew where they were going but gave no resistance.

He laid Tony down, laying next to him and pulling the blanket over both of them. He knew that he should have gotten Tony to eat something but he knew that after they both woke up, he make something for them both of them. Tony pulled himself so that he was curled against Bruce's chest. Bruce encircled him holding him tight. He smiled into Tony's hair as he realized he was asleep. He settled into the warmth that was Tony, inhaled soon he asleep as well.

The End.