I can't wait until Friday, I'll be graduating! Yes! Believe me, I need to graduate, I can't stand another boring, meaningless conversation with the kids in my class, I need new people to talk to! They are the most shallow and superficial kids I've ever had the misfortune to be in a class with. Whew, sorry, I've been meaning to get that out lately. Anyway, enjoy the fic!

Artemis both hated and loved his much younger brother Myles.

Myles was showing a particular genius in the fields of computer technology and chemistry.

Although Myles was only four and ahalf (as he repeatedly told everybody he met), he had already deleted half of Artemis's research on Krakens, blew up the computer, and perfected his innocent face.

Artemis was having a hard enough time finding his back-up disks as Myles had apparently enlisted his twin brother Beckett to hide them all over the house.

He had accomplished this act by bribing his brother with ice-cream. How completely devious and Fowl-like.

Artemis sighed. He was sure that he wasn't this devious as a child.

That nanny was a complete accident. Although a carefully calculated accident. She had almost driven him crazy with all her baby talk and other stuff…

Myles looked up at him wondering why Artemis was smiling so.. scarily.

"Artemis? Why are you reaching for the phone?"

"Nanny Diamond-Butterfly? Are you available for hire? This is Artemis Fowl."

0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.

Myles stared in horror. This… nanny was most possibly insane.

She had come inside with a cloud of perfume so thick it was solid. She had attempted to dye her hair a bright red, unfortunately for her it clashed badly with her orange tan.

The first time Myles heard her shrill voice, he was certain glass was breaking somewhere and he was going to go deaf.

"Now Mylie-poo, we mustn't dirty the floor, how about you clean up like a good little boy and I'll go use the bathroom….hmm very nice silverware…"

Artemis walked in after Diamond-Butterfly had left. "How is your new nanny, Myles?"

Myles stayed silent. He knew that what Artemis wanted was an apology and there was no chance of that happening. He was a Fowl, and Fowls were always victorious.

Myles started searching for Artemis after the first hour and a half.

"Artemis, you have to help me, please!"

"Hmm… was that an apology I hear? No? Well then…"

Myles scowled. He had to go through torture at least once in his lifetime, it was probably better to go through it now than later.

He needed a plan. A plan to defeat this so called nanny.

"Oh Mylie-poo… Where are you? We have games to play!"

Not again! How had she managed to find him so fast? Myles frantically searched for a tracking device on his body. Phew, safe.

"There you are!"

On second thought, maybe not so safe…

So…? Please review with ideas on how Myles is going to defeat the dreaded nanny…