"HEY BELLA YOU WANNA HAVE SEX?". VOLDIE CALLED TO HIS LOVER WHO HE LOVED DEARLY WITH ALL HIS HEART.
"OH YES MY LOVE AND MY LORD THAT SOUNDS AMAZING. I WANT YOUR WAND INSIDE MY SORTING HAT" BELLA EXCLAIMED.
WITHOUT ANOTHER WORD THEY STARTED TO HAVE SEX. BELLA CAME FIFTEEN TIMES FOLLOWED BY VOLDIE WHO KINDA GRUNTED A LITTLE AND THEN FELL ASLEEP.
LITTLE DID THEY KNOW WHAT SPECIAL EVENT WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.
THE NEXT DAY VOLDIE STARTED PUKING A LOT AND BELLA SOON GOT TIRED OF VANISHING IT.
"MY LORD I THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG" BELLA NOTED WORRIEDLY.
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH, WHORE OR I'MA BITCHSLAP YOU" VOLDIE SHOUTED. "I DON'T NEED A MOTHERFUCKING HEALER!"
"WELL EXCUUUUUUSE ME, PRINCESS!" BELLA SNAPPED.
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME" VOLDIE ROARED.
"WAIT MY LOVE, I HAVE AN IDEA, LET'S FORM A ROCK BAND!" BELLA YELLED. "EUREKA!"
"OH THAT IS A GREAT IDEA! THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU SUGAR BUTTERCUP1" EXCLAIMED VOLDIE.
THEY PRACTICED A LOT AND GOT REALLY GOOD AT MUSIC. THEY RIVALED THE WEIRD SISTERS EVEN. EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT HIS GROUPIES KEPT CALLING THEMSELVES DEATH EATERS WHICH GOT CONFUSING BECAUSE HE COULDN'T TELL THEM APART FROM THE REAL ONES SO FINALLY HE WARNED THAT ANYONE CAUGHT IMPERSONATING A DEATH EATER WOULD BE SENT TO AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE 100 YEAR OLD PEDOPHILE VAMPIRES REGULARLY FELL IN LOVE WITH TEENAGE GIRLS AND NEWBORNS ARE GIVEN SUCH AWFUL NAMES AS RENESMEE.
NO ONE EVER IMPERSONATED A DEATH EATER AGAIN EVER.
ONE NIGHT THEY PARTIED REALLY HARD AND VOLDIE HAD A MEGA HANGOVER. THEN SUDDENLY HE AND BELLA REALIZED WHAT HAD HAPPENED.
"LOVER I THINK YOUR PREGGERS" BELLA ANNOUNCED
"I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT BELLA I DO FEEL A LITTLE ODD AND I THINK THERE'S ANOTHER VOLDIE INSIDE ME. OH NO I'VE BEEN DRINKING IT WILL BE BORN WITH BIRTH DEFECTS! I'M THE WORST DADDY ON THE PLANET!" VOLDIE WAILED
"NO YOU AREN'T BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T KNOW AND PLUS OUR BABY WILL HAVE PLENTY OF LOVE! IT'S NOT LIKE THE BABY WILL BE BORN TO KIRK AND SPOCK."
"WHO ARE THEY?" VOLDIE ASKED
"MY IMAGINARY FRIENDS" BELLA REPLIED
"OKAY"
THEY WENT TO A HEALER WHO TOLD THEM THE BABY WAS GOING TO BE OKAY AND HE JUST NEEDED TO DO A SIMPLE SPELL TO MAKE A- AN- UM, AHEM, WHATEVER YOU CALL THOSE LADY PARTS. NO, NOT JUGS, THE OTHER ONE. YEAH- APPEAR SO THE BABY COULD GET OUT.
"OKAY YOU ARE FULLY DILATED AND READY TO GO" THE HEALER ANNOUNCED
"BUT WAIT IT WAS ONLY CONCIEVED LIKE A WEEK AGO I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO SHOP YET" VOLDIE ARGUED.
"I'LL GO SHOPPING AND GET SOME PRETTY THINGS AND THEN WHEN I COME BACK YOU'LL BE READY" BELLA DECIDED "LOVE YOU"
"LOVE YOU TOO"
BELLA PICKED OUT PINK WALLPAPER FOR THE BABY AND PINK EVERYTHING SHE COULD FIND. THE BABY WAS GOING TO BE SO HAPPY.
BUT THEN VOLDIE'S AWESOME NINJA PATRONUS APPEARED AND ANNOUNED "TWO THINGS, ONE, I SAVED 15% ON MY BROOM INSURANCE BY SWITCHING TO GUYCO, TWO, TO MAKE THIS PATRONUS I THOUGHT OF BONING YOU, AND THREE, WE'RE HAVING QUINTUPLETS"
"OH YIPPEEE!" CRIED BELLA "JUST LET ME GET MORE CRIBS AND STUFF"
"OKEY DOKE" VOLDIE AGREED.
"PUSH MY LORD, PUSH!" THE HEALER CRIED. VOLDY STRUGGLED AND SCREAMED A LOT, LIKE HE WAS BEING MURDERED MUGGLE-STYLE OR BEING PUT UNDER THE CRUCIATUS CURSE BY NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM AFTER SETTING HIS TOAD ON FIRE, AND THEN THE BABIES CAME OUT AND CRIED AND STUFF
"THREE BOYS AND TWO GIRLS, WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES" THE HEALER ASKED
"EDUARDO, SNUG, AND HARRY, AND RAINBOW AND SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC EXPEALIDOCIOUS" VOLDY REPLIED NODDING
"YAY, WE'RE PARENTS!" BELLA SHRIEKED "I'M SO HAPPY"
AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER