Regret

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin

Summary: He had gotten careless and now she knew. She knew his deepest, darkest secret. [One-Shot]

"Hello?" Petra poked her head in the room. The bed, the dresser, and the desk were standard military issue for the higher ranking members. The lack of personal items may have indicated it was unoccupied, but Petra knew better. The room without a speck of dirt or stain could only belong to one man. Outside the windows, the evening sun provided enough light to guide her without a candle.

The desk was the first place she checked. Shuffling through the papers, she couldn't help but wonder where her captain had disappeared off to. Levi wasn't a people person, and unfortunately, his position often required him to communicate with others when he'd much rather be alone or somewhere quiet. It wasn't uncommon for him to vanish for a few hours to relax. He was entitled to personal time just as anyone else, though he had mentioned once he was usually close by in case of an emergency.

It didn't take her long to figure out where the papers were. "Crap!" Stacks scattered across the floor as she accidentally knocked them off in a rush. She composed herself quickly and made a half-assed attempt at catching them before giving up and leaving them on the desk. I'll come back and fix it. As soon as the necessary documents were on the commander's desk, she hurried back, hoping Levi hadn't come back in her absence and discovered the mess she had left behind.

Quickly gathering up the sheets of paper, she organized them in the same orderly fashion her captain did. A stray piece caught her eye from under the bed. Kneeling on the ground, she was surprised to see three books scattered aimlessly. Odd, did Captain Levi put them there? She didn't think he was the type to toss things away aimlessly, if his office was anything to go by. Maybe he forgot about them.

Petra snatched them out before she could think on her decision properly. Her jaw promptly unhinged. Seconds passed by. Rubbing her eyes out of sheer incredulity, she checked the books again. I don't believe this! She had to be imaging the objects before her. These can't be Levi's! The books sharply contrasted the image she had of her captain.

Yet who else could they belong to? No one else would dare enter Levi's room without his permission, especially when he wasn't around. She only did this once because the request came from Commander Erwin and he knew she wasn't the snoopy type. I shouldn't do this. Petra eyed the books like they were some foreign objects.

Later on she would blame the shock for making her grab them.

Red Silk Romance

Butterfly Kiss

Velvet Seduction

Holy Maria, Rose, and Sina! She couldn't help the wide grin blooming on her face.

Her captain, Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman, Humanity's Strongest Soldier, read trashy romance novels.

Bubbly laughter erupted from her throat before Petra could stop herself. The idea of her foul-mouthed, constipated-looking captain having such a guilty pleasure was too hilarious. Just as she managed to calm herself, the image of Levi with his nose stuck in a book illustrated with an image of a scantily clade woman being groped by a stupidly buff guy was too much and she burst out laughing.

It took her a good minute and half to catch her breath, cheeks flushed red and eyes wide and bright from her discovery. Grabbing the nearest one, noting it had a book mark, she promptly opened it up and began reading.

The wind caressed his shoulder length mane as he stared at her with his onyx eyes. "This is your last chance," he warned the red-haired beauty before him. The moonlight kissed her pale skin and her beautiful eyes captured him, making the blood rush faster down to his nether regions. "Are you sure?"

His smooth voice sent shivers down her back and aroused her immediately. "I want you," she replied seductively. He immediately captured her luscious pink lips. Her digits curled into his silky black locks and she moaned into his hot mouth. The sound was music to his ears. His hands shook slightly as he made fast work of the thin night gown, tearing it off without much effort.

She unbuttoned his trousers and he ditched them quickly, eager to taste her sweet lips again. Electric sensations coursed through her veins at what his amazing fingers were going to her clit. She let out a loud moan. "You like that don't you?" He murmured sexily in her ear. Licking his finger, he smirked, "You taste good."

She whimpered at the loss. Smirk widening, he sheathed his shaft in slowly and teasingly into her sweet spot. He's so big, she thought, spine curling from delicious pleasure. Pulling him towards her, she kissed him hungrily. He began picking up speed, his large muscular body covering her soft petite one. Oh! Yes! She squeezed her eyes shut, lost in the moment. Bright colors exploded behind her eyes and she climaxed eagerly on his hard rod. He followed quickly, letting out a soft moan, face utterly lost in bliss.

They lay silently in each others arms, bodies covered with a thin layer of sweat, only their breaths filling the silence. "I love you," he spoke softly into her hair. "The moment I saw you, I couldn't stop looking at you." Never had a woman taken his breath away like she had.

She curled happily in his big, strong arms. "I love you too." To think she had once hated this man and wanted nothing more than to slap his arrogant face. She hadn't know then that behind the cold shell was a kind man so capable of love that it took her breath away.

Petra fell into laughter once again. It was too rich! One-Dimensional characters, cheesy descriptions, corny lines, and fictional smut, it had all the ingredients of a generic trashy romance novel. Even without reading the entire story she knew it would have a plot without any real substance.

Trying to muffle her snickers, she put the books and the loose paper back in their respective places. Pacing back and forth in her room later that day, she could not decide what she would do with this information. And then she saw the calendar and got an idea.

Something was up with Petra.

Levi leaned back in his chair, arms and legs folded, tapping his finger on his bicep, deep in thought. He couldn't figure out what. Over the past week, she'd smile real wide when she saw him, eyes shining. He wondered if she was going through the common phase of crushing on her superior. It was odd considering she wasn't a recruit. But she doesn't act like other women do.

He'd had so many women try so many different ways to grab his attention he could now usually tell right off the bat which type she was by looking at her facial expression and her body language. Petra wasn't like that though. She didn't get flustered in his presence, or excessively sweet or hyperactive. Neither did she act disinterested because of course, he rolled his eyes, it would attract him like a moth to a flame.

Or, his nose wrinkled, especially the ones that tried to make him out as an utterly unfair prick and pick a fight with him because apparently, according to Hange, in their twisted little minds, they thought it would make him think more about them and create chemistry and some other bullshit he couldn't wrap his head around.

Petra was kind. That wasn't how she thought she should be. She just was. It was that simple. She was like that with everyone, unless someone gave her a reason otherwise. Like his copycat of a subordinate constantly making jokes about her being wife material to get her attention. The poor idiot didn't know all it did was push her further away.

She's always been respectful. No, that was too formal. She was friendly. Yes, she wasn't loose like Oluo, loud and acting without dignity, nor was she uptight like Gunther. If Erd hadn't served longer than she had, he might have considered making her his second-in-command. But he knew she was more comfortable letting someone who really knew what they were doing lead instead.

Standing up, he locked his office door and got comfortable. Unlocking the drawer and pulling out a book, Levi wondered if maybe it was just her time of month or something.

Petra heard the footsteps approaching from behind and bit back a smirk. "Good Morning, Levi," she greeted him happily. It was dawn on a chilly Saturday, which meant the weekend and a break from duty. She was dressed in civilian clothes except for the military issued pants. A skirt made riding a horse rather difficult.

He nodded and went over to the cupboard. "Do you want some tea?"

"Yes please," she replied, elbows on the table, chin resting in her hands. "I'm not really into it but I like the way you make it. It's really good." He merely nodded and went through the motions with practiced ease.

Petra accepted the cup and added honey and sugar, sweetening it to her liking. She waited for him to sit before taking a sip. They sat in comfortable silence, sipping their tea until Levi spoke. "Were you waiting to see me?" He knew she normally left Friday evening to visit her family like most soldiers did.

"There's a reason I'm leaving today, instead of yesterday with the others," Petra put her cup down.

"Why's that?" He asked curiously. He guessed maybe it had something to do with her weird behavior over the week. She's not going to confess is she? He thought worriedly. He greatly enjoyed her companionship, the closest thing he had to a friend along with Erwin and Hange—not that he'd admit it, especially to the crazed scientist. Levi would really rather not spoil that and make things uncomfortable between them.

"I know it's your birthday today so I got you a gift," she pulled a bag out from under her chair and put it on the table.

Huh, so that's it, he relaxed. He was worried for nothing. The Special Op Squad had been together for almost a year now and it was his first birthday with them. "How did you know?" Did she get gifts for the others on their birthdays too? Knowing her, probably yeah.

"Squad Leader Hange," Petra answered, finishing her tea. "She said you don't like making a big deal out of it so I got a book. I thought it would be appropriate." She held back laughter. Nothing about the book was appropriate from the illustration to the content. She stood and nudged the bag towards him.

Levi put his cup aside aside and pulled the book out without preamble.

The blood completely drained out of his face and he froze.

It took everything Petra had to not fall to the floor and roll around laughing so hard she cried. But she did grin widely as she walked away, "Enjoy your weekend, Levi." She broke out in a run as soon as she was out of earshot, half out of giddy excitement and half out of nervousness that Levi was going to chase her down and end her for knowing such an embarrassing thing about him.

Petra mounted her horse quickly and left. His face! She finally laughed freely, feeling the air whipping around her. She was never going to forget the dumb expression on his pale face. Petra couldn't help but cackle evilly at how crazy it was going to drive him over the weekend, her knowing his dirty little secret.

Wild scenarios played in her mind about Levi freaking out. She respected him and cared for him deeply. But sometimes, he acted so aloof she felt worried. Petra considered him a friend, and what's a little teasing between friends? Though as she neared her home, she sincerely hoped he would feel the same and not blow it way out of proportion.

Levi twitched and resisted the urge to pace restlessly across his office. The first time in his life he wanted boring paperwork, as a distraction, and, naturally, there were barely any documents on his desk. He couldn't understand how she knew. The short man flinched without meaning to. He thought the books were garage until somehow he got into them. How the hell had that happened?

Levi was frustrated at himself. From her behavior, she found out a week ago. He could still remember the harrowing meeting with the officials from Sina, sucking away the last bit of his patience and leaving him in a dangerous mood. Too agitated, he'd simply tossed the books under his bed rather than stash them away in their secret hiding place.

The dreaded feeling of regret weighed heavily on him.

He had gotten careless and now she knew. She knew his deepest, darkest secret.

Voices bounced off the walls, grabbing his attention. His squad was back.

Levi composed himself, refusing to let a single emotion come across his face. Shoulders squared and back straight, he marched into the kitchen where his squad had gathered for some refreshment after the trip back. They greeted him as they normally would, Petra included. It doesn't look like she told them. He knew she wouldn't, she wasn't cruel. Much.

Still, the stoic looking man couldn't quite bring himself to look his redheaded teammate in the eye.

The evening progressed by as it usually did and Levi began to relax. As embarrassing as it was having a subordinate know about his extracurricular activity, he'd be just fine as long as she kept ignoring the fact she knew and didn't approach him about it. That night he went to bed a little less restless and anxious.

Petra took slow deep breaths, face slightly red from the rigorous training. That was intense. Part of her wondered if Levi pushed them more than usual because he was embarrassed and frustrated and was taking it out on them. Nah, he wouldn't be that immature. She paused. Well, maybe not immature but he was certainly a little sadistic and held a grudge.

Maybe I should pretend that never happened and it'll be okay, she nodded to herself, putting her equipment away. It was her break time and she wandered to check on her horse. He was sick and after making sure he was feeling better, she returned to the barrack for lunch. Normally she ate in the mess hall with the others, but she first had to grab a letter her neighbors wanted her to give to their son, who'd been unable to make it for the weekend.

Hearing the whistling of a teapot, she detoured to the kitchen. And despite the promise she'd made to herself, she couldn't help it. She had to say the words that appeared in her mind, dying to be let out of her mouth. "Petra," Levi looked up, "what are you doing here?"

She shrugged, "I had to get something for a friend. I heard noise coming from here and decided to check it out." She was a masochist. If he was a sadist, she was a masochist. She knew very well it had to be him. Usually he had lunch by himself or with the other high ranking members.

He nodded and turned back to his tea, assuming she'd be on her way now. Her feet stayed firmly planted on the ground. It was too much, she had to get the words out. After clearing her throat, she began in her best soft, narrator voice, "He gripped the rim of the cup with the tender touch of a butterfly, afraid to crack the delicate china with his extraordinary strength."

Levi froze, heart beating erratically. What the fuck?

"Brushing aside a strand of...do you prefer to describe your hair as inky or silky?"

He was looking at her like he didn't recognize her.

She tapped her chin thoughtfully, "Yeah, I guess inky makes it sound bluish. We'll go with silky."

It soon morphed into a scowl. "That's not funny."

"It's a little funny," she giggled.

"How about running until sundown?"

"Oh c'mon," she rolled her eyes. "I was just teasing you a little. You need to loosen up, captain."

"I'm only going to tell you this once," he stood before her, "if you ever speak about that again I'll make sure you—"

Petra chuckled, "Sorry, it's a little hard to take you seriously after imagining you reading that book I got you. And how did you like it? I picked the sluttiest looking one I could find."

Damn her, he thought. He'd pushed past the embarrassment and worked himself into an anger and she just had to go and say that.

"Don't worry, captain," she assured sincerely before his imagination got the best of him and he started jumping to wild conclusions, "it's not like I suddenly lost all respect for you." She shrugged, "I kind of like that you enjoy those...stories. And I promise I won't tell anyone. So just take it easy, okay?"

"Fine," Levi folded his arms, trying to hold onto his dignity. Or whatever was left of it. "You will never, ever utter one word of what you found to anyone."

"Cross my heart and hope to die," she smiled.

"You can go now," he picked up the pot, pouring himself another cup.

"Ooh, can I get one? I'm thirsty and the mess hall is too far away," she sat next to him, staring expectantly. Without a word, he pour some for her. "How did you get into those books anyway?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Which one is your favorite one?"

"I don't have a favorite one."

"Favorite character?"

"No."

"Really? What about favorite part?" She asked innocently.

"Drink your tea, it's getting cold."

She took a sip and nodded. "You know Captain Levi, you should think about opening a tea shop when all this is said and done."

He shrugged non-commitmentally, glad for the change in topic. He had thought about that a few times. He was too cynical to consider it actually happening. Somehow, Levi got the feeling he was going to die before seeing the end of this century long war.

"Well if you do open shop, I'll be sure to drop by everyday!"

He grunted.

"Will I get a former subordinate discount?"

"No."

Silence.

And then: "Inky black hair falling into steel grey eyes that looked a little less squinty—"

Levi glared.

"Sorry, I forgot we agreed on silky."

"Shut up, Ral."

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