"Hey Kurama, what do you look for in a girl?"
"Hmm?"
"Y'know… what's your perfect girl?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Uh, no reason. I mean, all our classmates are getting girlfriends. Yusuke's got Keiko, and I've got Yukina… sort of…"
"And you're wondering why I'm still single?"
"Er… yeah."
I mark the page in my textbook before setting it aside – it's about time to call it a night, anyway. Kuwabara's mind is starting to wander.
"It's complicated. Remember, I lived as a demon for the majority of my life. I'm not sure I could find a mate in the human world – certainly not among my classmates."
His face scrunches up – he, like most of our friends, prefers to ignore what I once was. What I am.
"So… you don't like anyone, uh, human? Not even those pretty girls that follow you around after school?"
"I suppose if Minamino Shuichi was fully human, he would like one of those girls. Let me see… yes, his girlfriend would be sweet, kind, thoughtful, an excellent student of course. Demure and polite – he's such a nice boy and wouldn't be mixed up with pushy girls. And certainly very pretty, but refined, not the flashy or sexy type."
"Yeah! That sounds perfect! But, uh… you're not dating anyone like that, right?"
Shifting in my chair to face Kuwabara – he's sprawled out on my bed, along with the entire contents of his backpack – I collect my thoughts. Although this conversation is unexpected, it's nice to have a friend around without having to hide too many secrets. As for Kuwabara... he might be dull most of the time, but his spirit guides him well when it comes to matters of the heart.
"Such a perfect girl is very hard to find. My classmates and family believe I simply have not found her yet. But truthfully it just sounds so… boring. So proper."
"I dunno, you're kinda proper, Kurama."
"I'm really not."
He is clearly waiting for an explanation, but… no, little human. Maybe I'll have a few stories for you in another decade, when you can talk about crushes and dirty magazines without turning beet red.
"So... uh, if you don't want a girl who's nice and pretty and polite and stuff, what do you want?"
I lean back in my chair and study the ceiling. What do I want? In the demon world the answer had been simple – everything. I'd had lovers and partners and more-than-friends, a few who meant the world to me, many who meant nothing... all painfully attractive, of course. Orgies, one night stands, non-humanoid partners, things humans could only dream of. Now I fear the human world has infected me with its romantic notions – or else my pack instincts are finally kicking in, after so many years of being on my own. I've certainly become pickier in recent years.
"I still want pretty, Kuwabara, just… a different sort. Aesthetically, I suppose those girls are attractive enough; after all, I've always gravitated towards slim, pale figures like theirs." Disturbing memories of Karasu aside, Kuronoe and several lovers of either gender match that description. "But in the demon world, beauty is also about movement, not just physical features. Most humans could never compete with the grace and refinement of a demon, not to mention the physique. And... it's just not the same without at least a hint of fangs. I'm sorry, Kuwabara. Was that too much detail?"
"Erk- no, well, uh. Kinda. It's really weird hearing you talk about that stuff."
If he only knew.
"We've done enough studying for now, I think. Why don't you pack up, and we can meet up with the others for dinner?"
"Great, yeah! Haha!"
Laughing nervously, he shoves everything into his backpack, crumpling papers and bending the cover of his English workbook. We leave the house with little distraction; my stepbrother is out with friends, and it's date night for mother and her new husband. He's such a nice man - insanely boring, of course, but nice enough, and he's good for mother.
"Hey Kurama?"
"Yes?"
"Um…"
"Go ahead and ask, Kuwabara. I don't mind."
"I guess you used to look a lot different, too, huh? Like, all silver and shiny."
"Yes," I chuckle, "I suppose I was shiny."
"That's so weird."
"Just imagine it from my point of view."
"Huh, yeah. Do you think you'll ever be a demon again? I mean, get your old body back?"
"We'll see."
I will, of course. Once I regain control of my shape-shifting powers, I should be able to take human or demon form whenever I like. I might just come out of this little adventure with more tricks than I had before my untimely death.
"I mean,you don't have to be a shiny demon guy if you wanna date a demon girl... right?"
"I imagine my original form was more attractive, at least among demons. But you'd be surprised... for some demons, being humanoid is enough. For other, even that is not strictly necessary."
"Oh. So... did you act different then, too?"
Now that's a tough question. How much has the human world changed me? I am still myself, not some bipolar amalgamation of demon and human soul, as I have occasionally been accused of... but my priorities have changed. I respect humans. I love my mother and my friends. The bonds I've formed here are deeper - certainly healthier - than anything I'd experienced in the demon world.
"I am living in an entirely different environment with an entirely different body... it would be nearly impossible to be the same demon I once was. Since coming to the human world, I've come to… value others more, as well, even above my own safety. I believe I will keep what I've learned here, should I ever return to my demon form."
"Wow. So you really like us, huh?"
"Yes, I do."
"But… you don't like anyone, y'know, that way."
"I don't think I could like a human 'that way', no."
"Oh. Uh. Huh."
The night air is warm and humid, as close to the demon world as it can be without the thrum of energy or the smell of wild plants, hot ash, and rushing rivers. In their place, the human world offers a delicate fragrance of wet pavement and sweet plant fertilizer. Kuwabara certainly picked a good day to ask about my life as a demon, whatever his reasons.
"Hey Kurama?"
"Go ahead."
"You said what you like eth-… as-th-…y'know, what you like in the looks department, but what about personality?"
"Kuwabara, why exactly are you asking all these questions?"
"No reason."
"Really?" I raise one eyebrow.
"Uh. Yeah, really."
How interesting. The lie rolls off him in waves, but no stench of fear or signs of aggression. No lust either, Inari be praised. Something certainly seems to be bothering him, though.
Well, no point in backing down now. I'm curious to see where he's going with these questions - you know what they say about fox spirits and puzzles. I look out into the night, recalling the more serious of my past relationships. My loyal Kuronoe, always at my back - although sometimes with a dagger of his own; Hijri, whose sharp wit I found endearing, when she wasn't ripping me to shreds with it; proud Utsugi, my first crush, who taught me the meaning of mind games.
"If it's going to last more than a few months, they must be intelligent, and very hard to fool or beguile," the challenge is half the fun, of course, "and able to handle my tricks. They don't have to play games, but I will. Confident, headstrong, maybe even pushy, and willing to charge into danger with me. Someone who doesn't play nice, maybe a little bit mean - and you need a twisted sense of humor, if you're going to put up with a fox demon. Loyal to a fault, of course. If I could find all that wrapped up in a relatively attractive body, I would find my perfect mate. Does that answer your question?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the gears spinning in his head, until he grins and punches the air. Whatever he's up to, I think he finally heard something that put his mind at ease.
"I think so. I guess there's not a lot of girls like that in the human world. Even, uh, even the demon girls I know, they aren't like that!"
"No, I suppose there aren't." Of course, the only female demon Kuwabara has spent any time with is Yukina, and she's not exactly typical. Yukina... is that what this is all about?
We walk for a few minutes in relative silence, and I wait patiently for his next question. What on earth is going on in that orange head of his?
"Kurama?"
"Yes?"
"Um. Nevermind."
"Ask your question."
"No, it's fine, it just kind of popped into my head. And, uh, it's kind of weird."
"None of this has been exactly normal, Kuwabara. Go ahead and continue. I'll let you know if I'm uncomfortable answering anything."
"Um. Okay. Well, I've been wondering...that is, uh, you keep saying stuff like 'someone' and 'demon'... you do, you know, like girls, right? Not just human girls, I mean, but like... girl girls."
I stop short. That came out of left field! I probably should have seen it coming, but this is Kuwabara we're talking about. Who knew he was aware of anything but girls?
"Kuwabara," my eyebrows shoot up, "are you asking me if I'm gay?"
"Uhhh..."
"Is it the hair? It's the hair, isn't it."
"No, I, uh-"
"Just because I wear pink and use roses as a weapon-"
He stumbles over his words for a few more seconds before I let up.
"Relax, Kazuma. I'm kidding. I'm not offended."
"Ohhh thank god, don't ever scaremelikethatKuramayou'resoscaryandIdon'twantyoumadatme, uhh, I'mreallygladyou'reonourside...uh, I mean. Uh."
"I like women. I also like men. It's... different for demons."
"...oh. Wow. I mean, cool, it's cool that you told me. That."
"Of course. You're a good friend, Kuwabara Kazuma."
We're nearing the restaurant and the rest of our friends, and I've only got a minute or so to get an answer out of him. I have to know what these questions are all about.
"Kuwabara."
"Uh, yeah?"
"Will you tell me why you're asking all these questions? I won't be offended."
"N-no reason..."
"Kuwabara," he flails, looking for an easy distraction - this late in the evening, there is nothing but the breeze and an empty sidewalk. "Does it have something to do with Yukina?"
"How'd you know that?! Err... well, I guess you are pretty smart. Okay, okay, don't look at me like that. It's just- do you remember when I first saw Yukina, and our Red Thread of Destiny? I've been getting a lot more powerful lately, and, uh, I've started to see them on other people. Like, the one between Yusuke and Keiko is really bright and easy to see. My sister has this weird frayed one. My classmates even have them. And, uh, Yukina..."
"Yes?"
"She, uh, she has two. But I can't see the other one real well... I can't really tell who the other end is attached to, because it sort of goes all clear and see-through after a few inches... I think maybe demons are harder to see or something. But, uh, … I thought it might be connected to... you. 'Cause, I mean, yeah, you're a demon and all, and you've got one, too. A Red Thread of Destiny."
...Oh.
"But hey, no worries, right? She doesn't sound like your kind of girl at all, with all stuff you were talking about, right? Kurama?"
"Ah... right, Kuwabara. No worries at all."