OH MY GOSH! Guys, I am finally back! I am so sorry it took so long for me to get this out. I have literally been almost done with this for the longest time! But it's here now! Alright, enough of my rambling. Enjoy the chapter!
Jace was running. He didn't know he could run as fast as he was, not until that moment. Not until he needed to.
By the angel, how he wished he didn't need to.
But he didn't know what else to do. He refused to just stand by and watch, not when people were screaming and running and hurrying frantically from one place or person to the next.
Jace watched Clary out of the corner of his eye as she ran along beside him. She looked as afraid as he felt, and rightfully so. After all, who wouldn't be terrified if almost an entire city was all running in the same direction? A direction that brought you closer to your worst nightmare.
Jace's stomach knotted once he finally realized, without a doubt, where everyone was running to. Despite how far away they were, they could still see the destruction growing before them: everything was on fire. Smoke and ashes surrounded them like a sheet of black saran wrap, making it hard to see even five feet in front of them.
Moving was a whole other issue in itself. While Jace and Clary were trying to push closing toward the fire to see what had happened, everyone else was trying to get away. It was like swimming against a very large, very powerful tide.
Jace nearly ran into Clary when she stopped suddenly in front of him. You couldn't read the name anymore; it was too burnt. Still, Jace knew what it used to say and he was sure Clary did too. He didn't think she'd have hesitated if she didn't.
"Clary, I –"
Before Jace could finish his sentence, Clary ran forward into the fire. Jace scrambled after her, determined to not lose her in the smoke.
"Clary!" Jace shouted after her. "Clary, what are you doing? It's not safe! Think about this!"
Clary whipped around. "Are you serious? I am thinking about this! I'm thinking that I'm not going to just sit back and hope someone saves our daughter from burning to death."
Jace grabbed Clary's shoulders. "I know, Clary. I don't want to lose her either. But if you just run in head first without thinking, you'll die too! And I can't lose both of you."
"I am thinking, Jace. Just trust me."
Clary pulled her stele from her back pocket and crouched down. Jace watched as she drew an Elemental Shield of Fire rune on the floor. Within seconds, the fire grew. Jace shielded his face from the flames until the fire vanished suddenly.
Jace started to laugh. "By the angel, Clary. You're amazing..." Jace's voice trailed off as he realized Clary was no longer in front of him.
"Clary? Clary, where did you go?" Jace shouted, looking around the room. She seemed to have vanished completely. "Hey, Clare, it's not funny. Where are you?"
Part of Jace knew it as stupid to worry. Clary is a Shadowhunter, Jace told himself. She can take care of herself. Still, a bad feeling had settled in his gut about the whole thing.
A baby's cry pulled Jace's focus. When he turned around, he saw Clary in an oversized t-shirt. It was his t-shirt; it reached her knees. She was holding a small bundle of blankets in her arms and standing over a small crib.
"Hi, Jace," Clary said quietly. "Don't be too loud. I finally got her to fall asleep."
Jace was confused. He didn't understand was he was seeing. There was no way Clary could have changed from charred clothes in a burning building to holding their daughter in her pajamas in only a single moment. It wasn't possible.
"Jace?" Clary asked worriedly. "Are you okay? You look like something's wrong. Is something bothering you?"
"No, nothing's wrong," Jace reassured her, but he knew she could tell he was lying. She could always tell. He didn't want to worry her though. She was already so tired, what with being a new mother and all.
Clary smiled at him. "I know you, Jace. It's okay if something's wrong. You can talk to me, no matter how tired you think –"
Clary's voice fell short suddenly. She must have seen the fear plastered across Jace's face.
Whatever was in that crib was not their baby.
Jace started running toward her, desperate to not let the demon rising out of the crib lay a hand on her. He couldn't move fast enough, though. It felt like he was running through quicksand.
"Clary, move!" Jace shouted. To his surprise, she didn't. Instead, she just stood there, smiling at him knowingly. She seemed oddly at ease, even though there was no way she couldn't have noticed the fear and panic written across his face.
A feeling of dread knotted itself into Jace's stomach as he realized why Clary's expression seemed so familiar. He'd seen it before. Déjà vu is the term mundanes use, he believed. It was a weird concept, in Jace's opinion: feeling as though you've been through something before if though you never have.
Except for this time, Jace had.
It suddenly dawned on him as to why Clary's expression felt so familiar. It wasn't some weird mundane concept; Jace had seen it before. In fact, he'd seen everything before. The fire, the crib, the demon currently pulling its arm – or at least what seemed like an arm – back, preparing to strike.
As Jace ran toward Clary, the painful realization hit him that he wouldn't reach her in time. Despite the adrenaline running through him helping him to increase his speed, the demon was still closer.
It would always be closer.
No matter how many times Jace replayed that day – no, those days – over in his head, the outcome was always the same.
Jace cried out when the demon pierced Clary's back, stabbing deep enough to reach her heart. Clary's eyes widened, whether in shock or in pain, Jace didn't know. He wasn't sure he wanted to, selfish as it was. He couldn't bear the thought of knowing she was in pain because of him, because he couldn't reach her in time.
Jace stumbled to his knees and pulled her fallen, bloodied body close to him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he repeated over and over to her.
Crying softly, Jace adjusted Clary's body. "I love you, Clary. I'm so sorry."
Jace gave her one last kiss goodbye. The moment their lips met, he felt Clary's body rustle. Jace pulled back and watched as Clary shifted in his arms as if waking up after sleeping for a long time.
"Jace?" Clary asked, voice raspy.
A choked sound left Jace's mouth, like a cross between a laugh and a sob. "Yes, Clary. It's me. By the angel, Clary. I love you so much. Never do that to me again," Jace said, his face now buried in her hair.
"I won't," Clary replied. Something in her tone made him uneasy. She didn't sound like herself. It was as though someone else was speaking through her. Something darker.
Jace sat up instantly. Instead of being met by Clary's bright green eyes, he was met by blackness.
Jace shot up into a sitting position. Despite being in only a pair of boxers, he was sweating and out of breath. Running a hand through his hair, Jace looked at the clock next to him: 3:14.
"Fantastic," Jace muttered. The last thing he needed today was to be even more on edge from exhaustion.
Jace quietly stood up and threw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He padded over to the door and opened it, only to find a tired-looking Alec sitting across the hall.
"You didn't have to come, you know," Jace told him. It was a lie, though. Jace was glad he was here.
Alec gave him a sympathetic look. "You shouldn't be alone, Jace. Not today."
Jace reached out a hand and pulled Alec up from the floor. They stood there silently, just staring at each other for a moment. Jace didn't need to say anything. He never did. Alec always just knew.
In an instant, the parabatai's arms were around each other. Despite it being muffled, Alec could still hear Jace's sobs. And he could feel them, too. He could always feel everything Jace felt.
"I miss them so much," Jace whispered. "I failed them."
Alec didn't know what to say. They had been having the same conversation for almost sixteen years. No matter what Alec said, Jace always turned it – and sometimes even him – away.
"Come on," Alec said, pulling Jace back into his bedroom. "You're no good to anyone if you're falling asleep tomorrow."
Alec helped Jace back into bed. Just as he was about to leave, he heard a quiet voice say, "Wait."
Alec remembered hearing Jace say that in the same exact way years ago. When they were younger, Jace would wake up almost every night from a nightmare, especially when he first arrived at the Institute. After they became parabatai, Alec would wake up at what seemed to be random times throughout the night. He finally realized that he was waking up for Jace when he went to ask him for his opinion and found him thrashing in his bed. Jace would always ask Alec to stay with him as he tried to fall back asleep.
"I know," Alec whispered. "I will. I always will."
OKAY! That's the first chapter of My Daughter, Rowan! Take 2, of course. I hope you guys enjoyed! Please review, follow and favorite! It would mean so much to get your feedback, especially on this!
Love you all!
-M