Rating: T
Word Count: ~1100
Summary: After the breakup, Korra picks up a bad habit to cope with stress. Makorra. Spoilers for "The Terror Within."
Author Note: Warning for cigarette use (do I need to warn people for that?). This fic is not meant to glorify or promote tobacco use in anyway. It's bad for you. This fic is also moderately ridiculous and impossible but it's just something fun to play with.
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There was something unnatural about Zaofu at night. As soon as they closed the roof on the metal city, the stars disappeared from view and closed them inside. She missed the clear black nights of the South Pole, where stars shone scattered across the entirety of the night sky. Her mother and father would help her connect the stars into made up constellations, each with a silly name of their own. Even Republic City, where the light from the myriad of tall buildings overwhelmed the small dots of white from beyond their world, still had the yellow lights of nightlife to keep her comfortable.
But here, when she took a look up, she was only greeted with artificial gray darkness. Of course, any safety she felt in this city was eradicated by the night's events with the kidnapping attempt. She remembered the terror of the toxin invading her system and freezing her muscles so that she fell limp against Naga. All she could do was watch helplessly as she was carted away, thrown over a shoulder.
How was she supposed to sleep after something like that? Usually the presence of Naga was enough to make her feel at ease. But knowing that even her closest companion was fallible from a security standpoint left her restless. Her hands still trembled, her body still reeling from the attack on her person. Korra hadn't felt like this since Amon and his goons managed to overpower her on Avatar Aang Memorial Island.
She needed a release. She needed a moment of peace and serenity just to relax, even if it was transient. Her hand slipped into the small pocket of her blue pajama bottoms and pulled out a half-full carton of cigarettes.
It was a bad habit she had developed and she was well aware of the dangers. But just having one or two every once and a while didn't seem all that bad in context. After all, she was probably more likely to be taken out by an enemy than smoke. And with this whole kidnapping deal, Korra felt less and less optimistic each day that she would live as long as Katara.
She pulled a single cigarette out and held it gently between her parted lips. With an easy flick of her fingers, a small flame appeared through the tip of her thumb. Korra wasted no time in lighting in the cigarette at the end.
She inhaled deeply, taking the bitter smoke into her lungs. Quite frankly, she didn't enjoy the flavor that much. After her first, she felt dizzy and lightheaded. After a few more, the sharp taste of the smoke was tolerable. What she really enjoyed was the calm she felt as soon as the smoke permeated her system. It was something that meditation could never give her. So for now, she was willing to abuse this release.
Korra removed the cigarette and held it deftly between two fingers as she exhaled into the night. Even the air seemed stale and still in Zaofu at night. Not to an uncomfortable degree, but enough to feel constricting and unnatural. After all, what was natural about a "metal city" to begin with? With a finger, she gently tapped the cigarette, sending small ashes down into the makeshift ashtray she had fashioned out of metal before placing the cigarette between her lips again.
"Korra?"
She whipped around. "Mako?" Her voice came out as a mutter, the cigarette still dangling between her lips.
"Are you…" he took a few tentative steps forward, "…smoking?"
The Avatar had kept this habit secret for precisely this reason. She didn't need the disapproval from Mako in particular. But at this point, she was beyond caring.
"What do you think I'm doing?" Korra snapped, exhaling a stream of smoke in his direction as she spoke.
His expression changed from one of surprise to one of condemning concern. "You know that's horrible for you, right?"
"Yeah, yeah," she inhaled. Of course he would act protective.
"When did you start this?"
"Just after…" she wanted to say after they broke up for the final time, "…Harmonic Convergence."
"How?"
"Asami."
Asami Sato was a self-described "social smoker." As a businesswoman, she knew that boozing and smoking was just part of cutting a deal. So the woman occasionally smoked a slim when the party called for one. During the early days of city cleanup, Korra caught her friend out on a pagoda on Air Temple Island. Asami always looked so calm when she smoked, so her curiosity got the best of her. She choked on the smoke on the first try, gagging at the foul taste and burn that simmered at the back of her throat. Asami laughed and explained not to swallow the smoke right away.
"Just every once and a while," Korra dabbed the cigarette in her handmade ashtray until the flame disappeared into nothingness. "It helps."
"Really?" His voice was laced with anger. "Because it seems pretty counterproductive to me—"
"I don't need your judgment," she pulled another cigarette out and up to her lips. "I didn't come out here to be harassed, I came out here because I can't sleep."
Mako stepped up beside her and leaned on the wide metal railing. "D-Do you want to talk about it?"
Did she want to talk about it? Well yes, just not with him considering how things were now. Especially with how awkward he had been over the past few weeks; he avoided being alone with her at any cost it seemed. She wanted to tell him how she didn't feel safe, how being alone in the room that she had just been forcibly taken from was utterly frightening. She wanted to tell him that she wanted him there, that she needed him there. Just to have someone there so she wouldn't be alone.
She couldn't ask. She wouldn't ask. She didn't want to be dependent on him any longer, not when they didn't work out as a couple.
"No," she pushed the smoke out of her nostrils.
"You really should quit before you're too addicted."
"Maybe one day I'll have a reason."
Maybe one day that reason would be him.