Title: The Things Boredom Can Make a Person Do (Not To Mention a Chief Inspector!)
Author: Hilde S. Nilsen
Date completed: January 2, 2000
Disclaimer: Not mine, never were, never will be. Hal McElroy, Southern Star and the Nine Network want them all to themselves. Not fair, is it?
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The Things Boredom Can Make a Person Do
(Not To Mention a Chief Inspector!)
by Hilde S. Nilsen
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Jeff was sitting behind his desk, head in his hands and with a rather grumpy look on his face. He sighed heavily, and stared blankly on the opposite wall. A fly was buzzing somewhere near his right ear, but the sound wasn't enough to get his whole attention. Jeff was bored. So very bored.
He sighed again, and glanced out the window to the hall just as Tayler Johnson walked by. 'Finally some action!' he thought excited. "Johnson!" he called out as loud as he could.
Tayler stopped dead in her tracks, and hurried to open the door to Jeff's office. "Yes, sir?"
"Tell Goldstein and Holloway I want to see them immediately."
"Yes, sir," Tayler repeated and ran to find the detectives.
~*~*~*~
Seven minutes later Rachel and Frank walked into the office, both looking rather annoyed. They had been having lunch in the meal room when Tayler barged in and announced their meeting with the boss. The fact that they hated being interrupted during lunch was one thing, but not knowing why Jeff wanted to see them was worse. It usually meant trouble.
Jeff leant back in his chair and eyed both detectives carefully. Then he nodded approvingly.
Rachel and Frank glanced at each other, a puzzled look on their faces. Rachel broke the silence. "Eh… Was there something you wanted, sir?"
Jeff nodded again. "Yes, I just thought I should take a look at you two."
The detectives looked even more puzzled. "Take a look at us?" Rachel asked.
"Well, you *are* our finest detectives, not to mention our *only* detectives, so I have to make sure you look representative. We wouldn't want our station to get a bad reputation just because our detectives dress like hippies now, do we?"
*Silence*
"That's it!" Frank exclaimed and threw his arms up in the air. "He's finally gone completely mad!"
"Jeff, are you sure you're feeling alright?" Rachel asked concerned. "You look a little pale, maybe you should go home and get some rest?" She tried to put her hand on his forehead to see if he had fever, but he just pushed her away.
"I'm fine!" he said reassuringly. "There's nothing wrong with me!"
Frank and Rachel exchanged glances, neither of them quite believing him.
There was silence for a moment, then Jeff suddenly became his old, bossy self again. "Well, what are you waiting for? Haven't you got work to do? Dismissed!" He nodded towards the door, and Rachel and Frank hurried out, closing the door behind them.
Safe out in the hall, Rachel leant up against the wall. "What the hell was that all about?" she asked confused.
Frank just shook his head and continued down the hallway, with Rachel following close behind.
~*~*~*~
Back in his office, Jeff was still smiling. The look on the detectives' faces – priceless! Oh, he should do this more often. He he. :-)
So, now what? It had been fun teasing Rachel and Frank, but now it was back to being boring. He sighed again, and went over to the window. Gazing out over the harbour, he saw Tommy and Gavin sitting on deck of the Nemesis. 'Aha!' he thought as he left his office and disappeared down the stairs. Not long after he reached the spot where the Nemesis was moored. "Ehehem!" he said aloud, and both Tommy and Gavin jumped several inches.
"Boss! You scared us!" Tommy exclaimed.
"Yeah, you shouldn't sneak up on people like that!" Gavin joined in.
Jeff ignored their comments, and jumped on board the Nemesis. Walking around on deck with his arms crossed and a suspicious look, he closely inspected each corner of the boat. Tommy and Gavin watched from the other side of the boat, looking if possible even more confused than Rachel and Frank had. Finally Jeff paused. The two constables barely dared to breathe. They were prepared to duck for cover as soon as the explosion from their boss came.
Nothing happened.
Jeff nodded slowly. "It is certainly a nice police launch we've got, don't you think?"
Tommy and Gavin nearly fell over board. "Eh… yes, sir, it is," Tommy stuttered bewildered.
"Well then," Jeff said while walking over to the railing. "You'd better get back to work. Thank you for your time." And with that he jumped onto the pier and went back to the station.
Gavin and Tommy stared after him until he disappeared. "What the heck was *that*?" Gavin nearly whispered.
"I don't know," Tommy replied slowly. "But it sure wasn't Chief Inspector Hawker."
~*~*~*~
As Jeff walked along the hallway, he noticed Helen in her office, busy doing some paperwork. He decided to pay her a little visit.
"Jeff, I thought you had learnt to knock before you entered," Helen said without looking up.
"Oh, sorry," Jeff replied, walked out, closed the door, knocked, then entered again.
This time Helen looked up from her papers. "Well, that wasn't necessary."
"Ah, no problem," Jeff replied lightly. "May I?" He motioned towards a chair in front of Helen's desk.
"Yeah, sure." Helen waited until he was seated before asking, "What can I do for you?"
"Actually, it's a question of what I can do for you," Jeff corrected her.
"Oh?"
"Yes, I was just passing, and I noticed you, hard at work – as always," he added quickly.
"Go on…" Helen said slowly. 'My, he's not going to offer to help, is he?' she thought.
"So I thought you needed a break," Jeff went on.
"Aha?" 'What is he after?' Helen was starting to get suspicious.
"Have you had lunch yet?"
"Ah, no, not yet. Why do you ask?" 'What's going on here?'
"Well, I thought I'd get you something to eat." Jeff got up from his chair. "What would you like, a sandwich?"
Helen stared at him with open mouth for a few seconds before realizing what he had just offered. "Yeah, thanks, a sandwich will be fine," she nodded, eyeing him carefully. 'Who are you, and what have you done to our Jeffrey?!'
"Right, sandwich it is then," Jeff smiled. "And a coffee?"
"Eh, yep, thanks…" Helen managed to smile back, despite her amazement.
"Be right back," Jeff said and disappeared out the door, leaving a totally stunned Helen alone.
~*~*~*~
When Jeff returned 15 minutes later with Helen's lunch, he found all his victims that day gathered in her office.
"Ah, Jeff, there you are!" Helen exclaimed as he entered. "Why don't you sit down?" She motioned for him to sit.
Jeff felt a bit surrounded with all the officers standing around him, and thought it best to sit. "Oh, here's your lunch," he said and placed a sandwich and coffee in front of Helen.
"Yeah, thanks…" she said absentminded. "Look Jeff, we've been talking…" she started.
Rachel interrupted her. "Yeah, and we think you should take a couple of days off."
Jeff looked surprised at her. "Days off? Why?" he asked curiously.
Frank took over. "Well, boss, you haven't been yourself lately…"
"…And we think you might be working too much…" Gavin shot in.
"…And we wouldn't want you to get ill or something…" Tommy continued.
"…So we decided that you should take a holiday," Helen finished. "We've ordered a plane ticket to Melbourne. You'll be leaving tomorrow." Her tone of voice left no room for discussion.
Jeff had been looking from speaker to speaker, and now he did the same all over again. His gaze stopped when it reached Helen. "Are you serious?" he asked, more amazed than any of the others had been.
"Of course we are!" Rachel assured him.
"Yeah, would we lie to you?" Frank added.
"Well, I never…" For once, Jeff didn't know what to say. "And I who just was a bit bored." He rose, and leant over the desk, placing a kiss on Helen's cheek. "Thank you."
"Oh, nothing to thank for," she smiled. "We have to take care of our Chief Inspector, right?" She looked around at the other officers, who all nodded – all except Rachel. She was in deep thoughts, with a strange look on her face.
"Wait a minute!" she suddenly said.
Everyone turned to look at her.
"What did you just say, Jeff? That you were 'just a bit bored'? That's why you behaved like that? You let us think something was seriously wrong just because you were 'a bit bored'!?" She glared accusingly at him.
"Yeah, but I…" Jeff tried to defend himself, but he was interrupted.
"You *what*!?" Frank yelled.
"Jeff, how could you?" Helen asked disappointed.
"Oh, thank God!" Gavin exclaimed.
"What?" Tommy stared at him.
"Well, I thought he'd gone completely insane on board the Nemesis today… I'm just happy we don't have to find a new Chief Inspector." Gavin looked around at everyone, grin beginning to form on his lips. "Yeah, you know what they say. Better the devil you know!"
"Everyone burst out laughing, and Jeff was glad they had found something else to focus upon. 'I must remember to give Sykes an appreciation for that!' he thought.
Just then Tayler poked her head in. "Sorry to break up the party," she said, "but there's been found a body in Elizabeth's Bay."
'Right,' Jeff thought as he left the office with the others. 'At least I won't have to be bored anymore!'
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The End
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