Sarah vs. the Norseman
We all saw Chuck's experience of the phase three, it felt like his whole world was fading away, that all of his memories were hiding in dark rooms behind locked doors. Even after the procedure had been halted, it was Sarah's kiss that saved his life and restored his consciousness. No one delved into Sarah's mind when she lay dying in the hospital, the Norseman laying her body to waste. I was uber bored one day so I started to ponder what it may've been like and so I wrote this. Sorry to authors like LittleCandyMan who actually have some skill, I couldn't help myself. The story is a little bit…, well a lot weird. Super-Natural/Hurt and Comfort. It's mostly written in 1st person but the epilogue is different. Sorry again to all of you, its gonna be terrible and weird and terrible.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from season one on DVD. I am, however, saving for a PS3 and season 2.
Spoilers: Chuck vs. the Cliffhanger, Chuck vs. the other guy, Chuck vs. the Colonel, Chuck vs. the Last Details.
I don't know what to call it. It's just noise. A loud, piercing noise that doesn't quit, it penetrates your entire soul until it's all you know.
And pain. Burning, searing pain that could turn your brain to plasma.
"Oh, God! What is that Noise!" I clutch my head, trying to block out the pain, I can't.
It increases.
The noise lessens and I finally release the hold on my head.
My vision is blurry; it's hard to stay awake.
I can taste my blood as it trickles over my lips.
What the hell is happening to me? Where is Chuck?
I can't stay awake much longer.
So tired.
I'm not asleep. I can see and hear everything around me but still I dream. I see my children, all but one a miniature of my Chuck. Two boys with chocolate hair and eyes chasing a girl who is so much like me.
"Mommy come play!" they call.
I try to move towards them, I try but I cannot move my legs. It's as though I'm paralyzed.
"Mommy?" the smallest boy breaks off and runs to me, "Come play with me!"
"I can't" I whisper.
The realization dawns on his face.
"Mommy, so you feel sick?"
I say nothing.
"Are you gonna die?"
His voice echoes in my mind over and over.
Am I going to die?
"Mommy please come play with us. You gotsta come play with us" he pleads.
"I can't" my voice, barely a whisper.
A strange look comes over the child's face.
"Then you gotta go. You can't stay here."
What! What is he talking about? This is a dream.
"Why?"
"Because your not dead yet. Somefins holding you back from passing on. We're not leaving, we can't. Vivian hurt you Mommy. She got you with the Norseman. We died. Me, Hope and Joseph, we're all gone. You don't have to stay yet. You still have time"
"Time for what?"
"Sarah!"
"Daddy needs you Mommy. He's calling for you. It's okay Mommy. We will wait for you"
Finally, I open my eyes. It's sooo cold, why is it so cold?
"Chuck?" I breathe.
I need him to be here, I need to know that I was dreaming, that I'm okay.
Hearing my voice, he is almost instantly at my side.
"Hey Baby, hi, I'm right here" the look on his face is all of the confirmation I need.
"You look worried" and I stare up into his eyes, looking for my reflection. It does not look good.
"No, no. It's just wedding stuff" He's a terrible lair. I can hear the panic in his voice.
'Mommy!'
Oh no, please no!
'Come play with us Mommy!'
I'm getting tired again but I'm scared to fall asleep. I gotta keep talking.
"Don't freak out. We're ready for this…."
I can't hold my eyes open any longer, my lids slowly drift closed.
"Sarah!" His voice sounds so far away.
"You came back Mommy! We're so happy to see you!"
I open my eyes and I'm on the beach. Our beach where we watched the sunrise after our first date.
Two young boys are playing down by the surf, presumably my 'sons'.
The voice came from the girl sitting next to me, her eyes the very shade of the crashing waves, my eyes.
What was her name?
"Hope. My name is Hope"
Whoa! Did she just…
"Read your mind? I sure did!" she smiles, eyes twinkling.
"Ummm… how? I mean, that's not possible"
I don't really know what to say but apparently I don't have to.
"I take it that Steven didn't explain us very well"
I shake my head.
"He said that three were dead and that I could only return here when I was"
Hope just tousles her hair, sending golden curls flying.
"That's a no then. Understandable. Of all us 'conjurations' you had him be the youngest. To you, he is three years old. He doesn't know what's going on any more than you do." She smiles, causing slight dimples.
I have no idea what's going on now. The pain is just a dull throbbing in the back of my mind and what feels like an all over sunburn.
Standing up so she can look at me straight, Hope's expression turns cold.
"I'm not gonna tell you what I don't know Mommy but I'll tell you everything I can" she pauses briefly, sucking in a deep breath, "You're not dead but you're very ill. I figure that Vivian must have hit you with the Norseman Device. It would explain the pain you're feeling, fever and radiation sickness and I think that it's going to get worse. You might not make it but I hope you do. Without you, we don't exist. Daddy will find a cure, I'm sure. He loves you. As for us being dead, me and my brothers, we're not dead as much as we aren't exactly alive. We're not real people and never have been. We are a manifestation of your future desires created by your subconscious. Steven meant that if you die, we will cease to exist. Even in some freaky, non-corporeal form. Does that answer your questions?"
Was that all in one breath?
"Most of them. So am I dreaming?"
She takes my hand and pulls me to my feet.
"Yeah. Welcome to your subconscious mind Mommy. It's time for you to meet your family. We're gonna get you through this."
My life is so strange now. I'm spending more time in my illusionary world than I am in reality. I don't mind though, it's less painful this way. But only just. When I am awake, it's like everything is muddled and nothing makes sense. Its only minutes each time before the pain is too much and oblivion sends me under again and back to my laughing children. They've told me exactly what is happening to me, how I keep getting sicker and how much time I have left. The time I spend with them is getting longer and longer. Sometimes I think that I'll never get out.
Ellie came to visit. She sat beside me and told me her concerns. It's been nice to see her. Even though I can't talk to her or ask any of my many questions, it's been great to have some contact with my conscious world.
The pain stopped for a short while some two hour ago but it's now back with a vengeance. It's like hot pokers stabbing all over my body but I've had that before. I've had a lot worse too.
"It hurts again doesn't it?"
I just shrug.
"Mommy, I know that you're a spy and you deal in secrets but you can't lie to me. I am you remember?" Hope sighs and looks over at her brothers, splashing in the waves of our beach.
"You should try to enjoy it here. There are worse places you could visit in a coma."
I can't help staring at her; she is so wise for her apparent age. Hope looks so little but she acts like she's lived a lifetime of horror. She acts like she's a spy.
Sighing, I pull myself off the sand and turn away from the beach. I need to get out of here. This is getting just too weird.
"Where are you going Mommy? You can't leave this place. Beyond this beach is oblivion, darkness. It's a scary place. All of the bad thoughts and feelings are there" planting herself on the sand right in front of my feet, she looks up into my eyes, "You will not leave yet. I have to protect you from yourself. I promised that I would help you through this and that's exactly what I'm going to do. Now come with me. You need to speak to Joseph"
Even my dream world is fracturing now. I haven't woken in some time which tells me that I'm nearing the end. Large chunks of the beach are being replaced darkness, the sea is filled with sticky tar and the sky is almost blood red.
"Daddy's cutting it close" Hope mutters.
"He'll be here. I know it" Steven argues.
I just hope that he's right. The pain has increased by almost half in the last fifteen minutes and it's getting worse. I estimate two hours before I succumb to the pain and am stuck here forever.
My children and I sit on the last square meter of beach left.
Joseph said that as my condition worsens, the darkness in my mind pierces my illusion and slowly takes over. It's the only thing he's said since I sat down with him. He just sits there and stares at the sand in front of him. It's actually starting to freak me out though I can't help but feel like something's about to happen. Why else would he be acting this way?
"He's looking for you Mommy. He's trying to find you in the sands"
Hope shoots her youngest sibling a disdainful look.
"What he means is that this piece of sand can show us what's happening to your body and hopefully, open the portal to your conscious mind. He will literally see everything that's happening in and around you but for it to work you have to focus. That's why he is so quiet .Now if Steven is done yapping then we can close our eyes and focus"
So I do. I close my eyes and I think about the Norseman and Vivian, I think of Ellie and Devon. I think of Chuck. So many images come to mind, Barstow and Paris, our time together since. The day he was captured by the Belgian and how frantic I was while searching for him. It's the only time I ever really 'lost my cool' as Chuck would've said. I remember the day that Clara was born and the day Chuck proposed, the day my life was changed forever. I'll never forget that look on his face. Hope and fear mixed with his unconditional love for me. No matter what I do he loves me the same. What did I do to deserve someone as wonderful as him and who must I have pissed off so much to possibly lose him so many times? I love and need him so much. I'll do anything to return to him. Anything.
"Mommy! It's working! Look…." My gaze follows the path laid out by Steven's finger and sure enough, there are definite patterns forming in the loose sand. I can see a hospital room, (not very surprising), I can see dozens of machines next to a gurney on which a pale sickly figure lies and I can see Ellie fussing over the woman on the bed.
Oh. My. God.
"That's you Mom. This is almost over"
Joseph is right. This has to be it.
Hope just sighs.
"Are you okay?" she ignores me. "Hope?"
"Time for you to go Mommy. Touch the picture."
I don't listen. I'm more concerned about the girl beside me with the tears rolling down her cheeks.
Finally looking up at me, she sniffles.
"Don't forget about us Mommy"
I can't help it. I wrap all of my children in my arms and hold them. Real or not, they mean so much to me now.
Releasing them at last, I look at their faces one final time.
"I'll never forget you. Any of you" I promise.
Placing my hand on the image, the world around me turns grey. I know that I may not survive the Norseman and that the possibility of me regaining consciousness is slim but as my dream world fades away, I see the face of my daughter. She smiles one final time before she too disappears completely and somehow I know that I'll be okay. Or at least I Hope.
Epilogue: 3 years later.
"Congratulations Mrs. Bartowski. Two beautiful, healthy babies."
"Wow, Sarah look! They're so tiny"
The pregnancy had been hard on Sarah. Barely having survived the Norseman herself, the radiation had done considerable and irreparable damage to her reproductive system. It was a miracle that she could conceive at all. The surprise on her husbands face when the test came back positive was unmistakable. Still, the burden of carrying twins had been difficult and she was lucky to birth them naturally.
Staring up at Chuck, she could see the infatuation in his eyes as he picked up his tiny daughter and passed her into Sarah's arms.
"Hope Susanna Bartowski. The most beautiful girl in the world" she murmured, instantly taken by the sleeping newborn.
"Chuck, she's so perfect"
"That she is. And you wanna know who else is perfect? My beautiful, stunningly sexy, amazing wife" he said, placing a kiss on her lips.
Reaching down into a nearby crib, he retrieved another tiny bundle of soft cloth containing their son; Joseph Michael Bartowski.
Sarah couldn't keep the grin off her face. She had a family now. A family with Chuck, the man of her dreams whose children she could love and cherish forever. She looked down at her sleeping daughter and couldn't keep the tears from flowing. She was exactly like the girl in her vision.
I didn't forget you.
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R&R