Author's Notes:
This story began as a silly thing and involved into a collaboration between me and my BFF Foxxfire5. We are not done and the story is already over 45,000 words. So enjoy, and happy new year!
Prologue
Once upon a time, the Kingdom of Daein sat serene and beautiful in the wintry east of the continent of Tellius. King Ashnard and Queen Almedha ruled over their peaceful and freedom-loving people with wisdom, strength, and pants-shitting terror. They had twin sons, Pelleas and Soren, who were both brilliant, handsome, and accomplished mages (one more accomplished than the other.)
Ashnard knew one of the boys was to be his heir, but his decision changed as frequently as the winds. Pelleas was better at making Ashnard feel good about himself, but Soren was better in pretty much every other way. However, one day, when the boys had just come of age, Soren made a snarky comment about Ashnard's parenting style, and Ashnard made his choice.
And then there was Ike. Ike was the son of General Gawain, First of the Four Riders. Despite not being a royal, he had lived in the castle his entire life with his father, his mother, and his younger sister Mist. Being only half a year older than the princes, Ike grew up to be fairly close to both of them, but, ahem, much closer with Soren.
And that was why, when a tournament was announced to determine who would win Soren's hand in marriage, Ike made his choice.
Ike was pacing around his family's small private dining area, brain racing. His mother and sister were making dinner while Gawain sat at the table, watching his son with a bemused expression. "Talk it out, Ike," he said fondly.
"This is my chance, there's no way I could marry him if he were a king," said Ike.
"Awwww," said Mist from the kitchen.
"You say 'awww,' but if they get married, that means you're on the hook for grandchildren," his mother reminded her, making her giggle.
"But a tournament? Would I even be allowed to compete?" Ike whirled to look at his father.
Gawain shook his head. "Not you. You need to be nobility. That being said, there's an easy way for you to get a promotion…"
"Gawain Greil, don't you dare be suggesting what I think you're suggesting!" Elena emerged from the kitchen so quickly it was hard for Ike to even register it.
"What? Petrine is a weak link. Ike could easily take her, as long as he came prepared for fire."
Ike had seen the woman before and she scared him a little, mostly because of her wildly impractical armor. "You really think I could?"
Gawain nodded. "So defeat Petrine, get into the Four Riders, and you'll be able to compete in the tournament."
Elena huffed, but she knew her Ike. "Be careful, would you?"
"Ike and Soren sittin' in a tree," Mist sang even as their quarters began smelling like burnt dinner.
It turned out Gawain's idea of "defeat General Petrine in a duel and become one of the Four Riders," was actually harder than it sounded and left Ike smelling like a delicious steak with a crazy woman plotting his murder, but he was able to pull it off. His family was proud, his secret boyfriend was not.
Ike found that out after he returned from the infirmary and Soren made him sit down on the couch to look him over for any leftover burns. "Tell me rumors of you joining the Four are false," he snapped. "Tell me you did not just get a target painted on your back to satisfy your ego."
"I needed to in order to be able to participate in the tournament," Ike replied.
Soren managed to get paler, which was impressive considering his complexion clearly said 'doesn't like the sun'. "What tournament?" he asked warily.
"The one to win your hand in marriage."
"Don't be too mad at him," Mist said as Soren's cheeks went bright red. "This is super romantic. I didn't think my blockhead brother had an idea what romance was."
Soren crossed his arms, looking at the stone floor. "For the record, the tournament wasn't my idea. It turns out my father is defensive."
"Shocker," said Ike.
"But if you compete, that means there'll be a competition. My sincere hope is that no one will show up and my father will look like an idiot."
Elena came in with some aloe. "Oh, hello Soren. Congratulations on your impending engagement." Soren groaned, and Elena smiled. "Don't worry so. My Ike will be fighting for love, and love is the greatest force in the universe." Soren made a noise not unlike a cat having a hairball, but Elena was excellent at ignoring her prospective future son-in-law's attitude. "I do have some bad news for you. The ladies at the temple have heard that one of your competitors will be a senator of Begnion."
Soren made the most horrified face that Ike had ever seen. Ike's face wasn't much better; his mother was a powerful priestess of the Faith, and he knew better than to ever cross her. The senators were all high-ranking clergy. "Okay. This is going to be harder than I thought."
"Mrs. Greil, please pray for me that it's not Lekain," Soren groaned.
"I thought the Goddess liked Ike's mom," Soren muttered. He stood between his mother and his brother on this, the first day of the tournament. Behind them stood Three of the Riders of Daein: Gawain, the Black Knight, and Bryce. There were eight people standing in the arena, which is seven more than Soren had hoped there would be.
Pelleas took his hand and squeezed it. "Lekain is old, he'll probably die of a heart attack," he replied quietly. They were experts at appearing to pay attention when secretly conversing. They didn't even have to move their mouths much so it wasn't obvious. Pelleas generally spoke while holding a fixed grin, Soren a small frown.
"Welcome brave combatants!" Ashnard bellowed. "You have all answered the call to compete for the hand of my youngest son, Prince Soren of Daein. He has a genius intellect, the royal blood of Daein and Goldoa, and is skilled at magic, alchemy, cartography, calligraphy, tactics, and embroidery."
("I read one embroidery book. One! And it was yours!"
"I'm not ashamed of it and you shouldn't be either.")
"With a pedigree and talent as impressive as his, only the best may lay claim to him."
("The best isn't interested, so you shmucks are here instead," Soren muttered, bitter.
Pelleas giggled then paused. "But what about Ike?"
Soren blushed. Almedha shushed them.)
"Introduce yourselves!" Ashnard grandly gestured to the one at the far right.
The huge man stepped forward, his red hair a wild mess despite the fanciness of his outfit. "I am Skrimir, Prince of Gallia! Among our warriors I am the finest barring our noble king, my uncle! I am here to claim the beautiful Prince Soren as my consort and Queen!"
("Methinks his power is not reflective of his brain…"
"He's not as hairy as I was led to believe he'd be.")
"Welcome to Daein, Prince of Gallia. Next?"
The first of two women stepped forward. "My name is Elincia Ridell Crimea. I am third in line to the throne after my uncle and father. I am here to prove myself, and to secure peace between Daein and Crimea."
("She looks less thrilled than I do, and that's saying something."
"I think the royal announcement should have included that you aren't exactly into women…'only men need apply? Bros but not hoes?' But not literal bros, because I sure don't want to marry you. And not hoes, because that term's rude.")
The third stepped forward before Ashnard could acknowledge Elincia. "I am Vice Minister Lekain of Begnion. I shall complete your trials and win the famous tactical mind for myself! And Begnion."
("Eegghhh. Is murder still illegal?"
"Only if you get caught.")
"Next?"
A large man with blond hair, a spear and impressive blue armor stepped forward; he did not look super happy. "Excuse me, sir, but did you say that's a prince?"
(As the man and Ashnard argued, Soren snapped, "Oh come on! I'm not that feminine!"
"It shouldn't be funny, but it is. But you're the one who refuses to cut your hair, that's on you.")
"I'm out!" the man said, marching off the field. Ike face-palmed.
The next was someone that everyone in the royal box recognized: Tauroneo, former member of the Four Riders and notable knight. Ashnard literally laughed at him as he spoke, but no one else did.
("He is definitely older than our father."
"He probably changed our diapers…"
"Did you really need to say that?"
"I think I did. Think he wants you to call him Daddy?"
"Oh my gods, Pelleas, what is wrong with you?")
The next was a man who had a smug smile on his handsome face, with fancy gold and white armor. "I am Ludveck, Duke of Felirae in Crimea! My destiny is one of glory and ruling, and thus I am here to begin that journey!"
("A Duke brazen enough to compete against his princess? Interesting."
"I'd choose Elincia over him but that brings us back to 'women need not apply…'")
Speaking of, the second-to-last participant loudly proclaimed, "I am Fiona, daughter of Lanvega and Steward of Marado! I am here for the glory of Daein!"
("Who daughter of who?"
"No idea.")
Then it was Ike's turn, and Soren's heart skipped a beat. He hadn't actually thought the idiot was going to compete, but he was down there and, with his stepping forward, was officially entering the competition.
"I'm Ike," he said, voice as blunt as usual. "I'm a Rider of Daein, as of yesterday. I'm here because I want to marry Soren. That he's a prince is just coincidental."
The audience gasped and tittered, clearly liking this new romantic angle. Almedha covered her mouth in shock. Soren could hear Gawain facepalm.
Ashnard looked confused and turned to look at his Riders. "Is that why what's-her-name with the fire stick is gone?"
"Yes, Sir," replied Bryce.
"Shut up, Bryce." Ashnard turned back to the combatants. "Very well. You seven shall compete in a series of trials, and the winner at the end shall claim my son. The rules are simple: other people are not allowed to interfere, and you are not allowed to harm each other." The king got a rather evil grin on his face, which made it clear that his reasons were not altruistic. "Your first trial is this: Atop the highest mountain in Daein are six tokens. You have twenty-four hours to fetch one and present it to my son. Obviously, one of you will be eliminated by the end of this first challenge. May the strongest warrior win!"
Skrimir turned into a massive lion and left the arena in few bounds. Elincia got onto her pegasus and took off in flight. Lekain disappeared with powerful teleportation magic. Ludveck and Tauroneo used magical transportation powder. Fiona got upon her mighty steed.
Ike started running.
("I'm doomed."
"Probably.")
THE TRIALS OF IKE
The "Prize":
PRINCE SOREN KURTHNAGA DAEIN, a snarky mage who really needs to keep his mouth shut
The Competitors:
IKE GREIL, a guy who does not want his boyfriend to marry someone else, thanks
PRINCE SKRIMIR GALLIA, a beefcake who is only somewhat smarter than he appears to be
PRINCESS ELINCIA RIDELL CRIMEA, who no one wants to win, including herself
DUKE LEKAIN OF GADDOS BEGNION, a smarmy douchebag with ridiculous muttonchops
GATRIE, a knight - oh wait, never mind, he failed a spot check, he's not in this story anymore
DUKE LUDVECK OF FELIRAE CRIMEA, a smarmy douchebag with no facial hair to speak of
SIR TAURONEO, a nice old man who is here for all the right reasons, nothing creepy
STEWARD FIONA OF MARADO DAEIN, who stands absolutely no chance of winning
The Supporting Cast:
CROWN PRINCE PELLEAS RAJAION DAEIN, SOREN'S twin who is thrilled this story isn't about him
RANULF, a cool cat who is IKE's friend and SKRIMIR's assistant
MIST GREIL, IKE's sister who is probably enjoying his suffering too much
Also Appearing:
KING ASHNARD DAEIN, SOREN's father and the reason this story is happening
QUEEN ALMEDHA GOLDOA-DAEIN, SOREN's mother who is horrifying
SIR GAWAIN GREIL, IKE's dad and First of the Four Riders
ELENA GREIL, IKE's mom and firm believer in the Power of Love
TITANIA, GAWAIN's protege and Crimson War Goddess
THE BLACK KNIGHT, a knight who wears black and is a member of the Four Riders
BRYCE, who is too old for this shit and is a member of the Four Riders
PETRINE, who really likes fire and dogs and was a member of the Four Riders
HAAR, a wyvern rider
RAJAION, a dragon
WYVERN, a wyvern
CACTUS PETE, a bandit
CONFETTI RAINBOWFLUFFS, a pegacorn