Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Nothing at all. Only the plot and the characters you don't recognize.
It Won't be Long
What do I do when my love is away?
(Does it worry you to be alone?)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you're on your own)
No, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I'm gonna to try with a little help from my friends
A Little Help from my Friends – The Beatles
James Potter sighed. And again. Once more for good measure. He paid no attention to his friends who were quickly getting annoyed with his loud exhalation of air. He only gazed forlornly across the Gryffindor Common Room at the love of his life, who was currently ignoring his existence once again.
"I swear, Prongs, you sigh one more time and I shove your broomstick up your arse," Sirius Black, his best friend and partner in crime, stated loudly, causing several people to turn round in shock.
"What's wrong with you, anyway?" Peter Pettigrew, a rather diminutive boy, who was never really quite there asked. James opened his mouth to tell his tale of immense sadness, but was cut off by bookworm and part-time werewolf, Remus Lupin.
"He's in the throes of agony because Lily caught him looking up her skirt." Sirius raised his eyebrows.
"I'm impressed. How did you even get close enough for that? Normally, she'd castrate you if you came within 5 feet of her."
"Why the hell would you think that? I happen to be charming, loveable, and completely—"
"Irresistible." His friends chimed in.
"We know, we know. But she did scream, and I quote, 'Potter, if you ever come near me again, I'm going to cut off your balls and feed them to you!' Remember? It was when she found that pair of her panties that you nicked." Sirius continued. James flushed. He did remember.
"Let's do this! Quickly, before she gets back!" Sirius hissed. James looked quickly around the room, located Lily's bed and walked over to it in four quick strides. After days of eavesdropping under the Cloak, listening to mindless gossip and embarrassing conversations, he had finally discerned where Lily's bed was.
Who knew that girls talked so much? He thought. It was ridiculous. Emily Burke and Caitlyn Doherty, Lily's roommates talked only of boys, mainly Sirius, spells, mainly make up ones, and their bodies, mainly their periods. It was completely mortifying! After days of listening to them try and name the exact shade of blue of Sirius eyes (they agreed on sapphire), their fervent wishes to run their fingers through his long, thick silky black hair, and his sculpted cheekbones, even he started to look at Sirius differently. It was horrible.
Snapping himself out of his thoughts, James sat on Lily's bed, and taking a quick peek to make sure nobody was looking, sniffed Lily's pillow. An involuntary smile came to his face as he realized it smelled of her. A slightly floral scent.
Sirius looked around, looking for James.
"Prongs, you pervert! Hurry up! We don't have much time left, they're coming back soon!" It was true, it was almost time for everyone to come back from the trip to Hogsmeade.
James took one last sniff, then hesitating for only a minute, opened Lily's drawer. He went through it and quickly grabbed the first pair he saw and got up.
"I've got it! Let's go!" He whispered and they ran out of the room. Voices were getting louder as they heard the portrait of the Fat Lady open.
Lying on his bed, James examined Lily's choice in underwear. He found them adorable. They were pink, with different coloured hearts on them. Quickly stuffing them into his pocket, he vaguely wondered if stealing a pair of her panties made him a pervert. Dismissing the thought, he wandered down the stairs to the Common Room. This was it. He was going to ask Lily out again. This time would be different.
"Evans! Hey Evans!" he called. Lily stiffened and continued with her conversation as though he wasn't there. Nodding hello to Emily Burke, he walked up to Lily and tapped her on the shoulder. Nearby, the rest of the Marauders were watching closely, in case James needed their assistance.
"Evans, can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked with a roguish grin. She glowered at him. James loved the way she looked when she was angry. Her face was flushed, and her beautiful green eyes sparkled dangerously. Unfortunately, more often than not, it was him that she was angry at, so he never got to enjoy it fully.
"Hell no, Potter. Can't you tell I'm busy, you insufferable toe-rag?" Pushing past him, she walked over to a near by table where she quickly began gathering various books, pieces of parchment, bottles of ink and quills. James saw an opening.
"Let me help you with that," he offered gallantly. Lily glared at him.
"Potter, no, it's fine."
"Oh no, Evans, I want to help." Then he plunged his hand into his pocket. He pulled out his wand, and then realized what was stuck to it. Suddenly, the Common Room went silent, as everyone who was watching saw what was on the end of James' wand. Lily stared confused, then recognizing what it was her eyes widened.
"Potter. Where the HELL did you get those?" she asked, her voice quiet and deadly.
"Um…go out with me?" he squeaked. Lily shrieked, equal parts embarrassed and furious. Her hand balled into a fist at her side and then before he even saw it, it connected with the side of James' face.
"You pervert! You dirty peeping tom! I swear Potter, you come near me again, and I'll cut off your balls and feed them to you!" She stood there, her beautiful eyes, sparking. Then she grabbed her panties hanging off the forgotten wand and stomped off in the direction of the portrait.
"…So was that a no?" James asked timidly. Lily turned around and screamed something vulgar that had something to do with James' mother and his head up his arse. She stormed out of the portrait toward, James was sure, the beech tree by the lake.
The Common Room was completely silent. The looking toward his friends, James saw that they were all holding back smirks. Then Sirius let out a roar of laughter.
"Smooth, Prongsie! That was smooth. 'So was that a no?'" Remus and Peter started laughing, and James had to snicker, too. It had been kind of funny, even if his face hurt, and he was sure it was red where Lily had hit him.
"Prongs?" James looked up and smirked.
"The cloak. It worked perfectly. She didn't even notice!" Sirius' eyebrows rose.
"So if she didn't notice, then how did you get caught?" James flushed again.
"He drooled on her leg," Remus put in, not even looking up from his book. Sirius started to laugh.
"Prongs, you randy bugger! And then I'm the dog. Smooth, really smooth." Peter giggled. Sirius stopped laughing and he and James stared at Peter. Even Remus looked at him.
"Wormtail, did you just giggle?" James asked slowly. Peter looked uncomfortable. Sirius snorted.
"God Wormtail! That's such a teenage girl thing to do." That set them off again. Finally, after their laughing spell died down, Sirius clapped his hands together.
"In light of Prong's recent…mishap, I say we pull a prank to take his mind off his lady troubles." A smile slowly rose to James lips.
"On?" he asked, interested.
"The Slytherins," Peter and Sirius replied very slowly, as though explaining to a small, rather stupid child. Remus shook his head.
"To soon, we just pulled one on them last week," he said, "they'll be expecting it. So that leaves the Ravenclaws and the Hufflepuffs." Sirius nodded.
"Good point," he said.
"So the Hufflepuffs, then?" Peter squeaked inquisitively.
"Nah, best be the Ravenclaws," James replied, "they might actually be a challenge. The Hufflepuffs just go along with it like sheep. Then they squeal indignantly, and then its over. No, the Ravenclaws would be better." Sirius nodded.
"So now that that's decided, what did you have in mind?" James asked him. Sirius rubbed his hands together as he thought.
"I'm envisioning something, with lots of glitter, lots of dancing, and lots of people watching. It may just take care of your little problem too, Prongs." The Marauders gathered together as Sirius outlined the prank. Remus pulled away, intrigued.
"This will take a lot of planning, a lot of skill magically and the right timing," he said quietly, a diabolical gleam in his eye. The other three Marauders looked at each other gleefully, it wasn't often that Remus got involved in the beginning stages of a prank. Usually, they had to drag him against his will, while he looked on reproachfully from the sidelines, occasionally offering help on fine-tuning some odds and ends.
With a last look at Lily, who, he noticed, had an adorable smudge of ink across her nose, he followed his friends to gather the various things they needed.
Author's Note: The title of the story is taken from a Beatles song. Just let me know what you think, and whether it's worth continuing or not. Flames are welcome, but constructive criticism is preferred.