After the Dom
By: Manigault
One shot. My own take on that episode.
Post TGTBTD
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She was pissed off, but it didn't do any good airing her feelings in the lab in front of everyone and thus adding fuel to already over full rumor mill. She'd tried to understand where he was coming from and to some extent she did understand. The problem was she couldn't just say 'That's just Grissom. Accept him or don't.' Not anymore. There was much too much at stake at this point in her life.
With a loud clack she swung her locker door shut and felt a small stab of satisfaction as it rattled on its hinges. The feeling was short lived as her mind went back over the previous nights events and the fact that she wasn't privy to the fact that Grissom was spending his night off with Heather Kessler. No, she found that out through Catherine who steamed into the lab spouting her irritation for anyone to overhear. You'd think that she was the one who had been wronged.
Grissom. She'd honestly tried to keep her sense of humor when it came to his absurd fascination with a dominatrix. She was fairly certain that his feelings had nothing to do with the woman's profession. She herself was positive that he had no personal preferance for sex games that involved dominants and submissives. They had discussed that fact on several occassions when she'd asked him to use her scarf to tie her hands above her head. He'd balked, at first, but after discussing in depth what their expectations were, he'd relented as long as she could pull her hands free of her own will.
She'd tried to joke with him about the shade of Heather's lip stick and his raised eyebrow and geniune surprise gave her a thread of hope that his feelings for the woman were simply that of a friend helping another friend.
Walking out of the locker room, she pondered that idea. What contituted a friend? She thought of Nick, Greg and Warrick as friends and yet they didn't phone her when they were in a jam. She'd be there for them in a heartbeat if they did, but did they even know that she was involved with someone away from work? Did they know that she didn't live in the same apartment that she'd lived in for years after moving to Vegas? She knew what she considered friendship versus helping someone because it was the right thing to do and she had to question what Grissom defined as friendship.
After getting way too much information from Catherine at the crime scene she'd made it a point to pull the past files on Heather to try to gain some understanding of where Grissom stood on his investment in this relationship with a woman that had entered his life on the heels of a serious crime. She didn't want to judge anyone on what they did for a living, yet she cringed as she read the details of the whip lashing session Heather had given the man who'd murdered her daughter. The fact that she'd slept with him to get a DNA sample was inconceivable.
Still, this was not her fault that Grissom was behaving in a manner that left her angry with him. If he'd informed her of his intentions of staying at Heather's house then perhaps she wouldn't have this level of hurt and yes, she could admit it to herself, doubt.
Did she offer him a level of intelligent conversation that he thrived on and one that she couldn't give him? She was stumped by this because in her perception she had matched him conversation for conversation on a wide range of topics, including entomology, a subject that she'd felt no real love.
On the drive to her home, their home, she wondered for the first time if he'd been over to her house often over the past few years. She thought that she knew his schedule, but on the days she worked and he was off, was he with her?
Bruno met her at the door when she opened it and she felt a few seconds of complete joy as she bent over and kissed the boxer's forehead and rubbed behind his ears. She remembered the day he'd brought her this tiny puppy and she'd stared at him like he'd lost his mind.
'A dog? Are you insane? On our schedule we can't care for a dog. A short pause as she took the small puppy in her hands and it licked her chin. He's adorable. What should we name him and did you buy puppy food?'
That had been months ago and now Bruno was a big lovable dog that was like a child to her and Grissom. Child. Rubbing her stomach, Sara frowned as she thought of all of the doubts that had crashed into her life in the last few days.
Pushing these feelings aside she filled Bruno's dog bowl and then went about making dinner for two. She wouldn't allow everything she'd built with Grissom to crumble around her without a fight. Sure, it was on many levels a mental fight that only she could comphrehend as her boyfriend was as clueless as he'd been ten years ago.
Bruno's ears twitched and he ran to the door before she heard the key turning in the lock. Grissom was home. Keeping her attention on the cucumber she was chopping for her salad, she refused to look up when he stepped inside the condo and greeted their dog.
She could feel his discomfort as he walked into the kitchen and just stared at her with, if she'd looked up, she was sure was a baffled expression.
"I was able to get Heather's ex-husband to introduce her to their grandchild." Grissom finally said, his voice filled with a mixture of elation and uncertainty.
"I wasn't aware that you were attempting a family reunion." Sara knew her tone was snappy, but the fact was she wasn't even aware that there was a grandchild. If it was in the past files she must have overlooked it.
"Sara," Grissom hesitated in the awkward manner that she'd come to expect from him over the years. Only this time they were not in the lab and she wasn't going to let him off the hook so fast.
"I never slept with Heather." Grissom finally spit out.
She kept her back to him, but she turned her head enough to catch his eye. "I never thought that you'd slept with her." The first time they'd made love he'd 'confessed' the number of years it had been since he'd had sex. She believed him then as she still believed he was telling her the truth. At least the part about not being physically involved with Heather.
"I haven't cheated on you, Sara." Grissom reached out to touch her shoulder and she stepped to the side before his hand could make contact with her skin. She had to think clearly and when he was touching her all logic could slip out the door.
"Cheating doesn't have to be physical, Grissom."
She watched him wince as her words sunk in and was amazed as realization sparked behind his now fear filled eyes. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking about how you'd perceive my actions."
"No. That's just it, you weren't thinking about me at all." Sara turned back to cucumber and continued slicing it with firm chops. She thought he'd left the kitchen when she felt him step up behind her, his chest pressing into the back as one arm wrapped around her on the right to grip the counter and the other one closed over the hand she was using to chop the cucumber.
"It won't happen again, honey, I give you my word that I'll run everything I do, of any significance, past you first."
"And then do it anyway?" Sara couldn't keep the sarcasm from her question and she felt him move slightly away, but not far enough that she couldn't feel a slight pressure of his shirt rubbing against her bare arms.
"That was the first time that I'd spoken with Heather since the last case and if I do speak with her again, I'll talk to you about it first." Grissom bent forward until his cheek was touching the side of her neck. "I don't want to lose you Sara."
She didn't want to let him off the hook that easily, not with the future that was facing them, but she didn't want to let this situation ruin what they'd built together either.
A soft whining sound erupted the silence and illicited a slight chuckle from Sara who gently elbowed Grissom to back away. "Bruno is begging to go for a walk and it's your turn while I cook dinner."
Relief rushed over Grissom as he picked up on her mood and nodded slowly. Wisely he didn't point out that it was his turn yesterday since he'd failed to come home.
Whistling for Bruno, he walked towards the door as Sara called after him.
"Make sure you keep him away from that poodle next door."
"Always." Grissom replied as he stepped outside, his intentions clear for the first time.
The End