Truth
"First, he tells you you're special." Courtney spoke softly. "That's when you start to feel like anything but."
It had been quiet that day on the plane: no challenge, hip hip, hooray, right? Well, not exactly.
See, Owen had got a little nauseous, after eating a lot of… well, everything! He had ran through the plane for a few hours, yelling about how everyone just HAD to try the lobster, before stopping next to Alejandro in the economy class of the plane and, well, how do I say this… blowing chunks.
It had been quite a sight to see, actually, and many people had hopped at the chance to see Alejandro drenched in Owen vomit. Duncan had tried to get Gwen to go with him to see it, and as much as she enjoyed seeing Alejandro in pain (who didn't?), she couldn't agree to seeing anything that Owen had inhaled rather than ate back outside of him. Who knew what went on in that bottomless pit?
But as her part of the plane poured out to go see the disgusting sight, she felt herself sink down into the seat, glad to finally be alone. "So, Owen exploded, huh?" Alone? Right. This was reality TV. You were never alone.
Gwen was ready to make a quick response when she saw just who it was.
Although Gwen hated to admit it, Courtney was quite lovely. Her freckles made her face light up, her dark skin glowing, her legs longer than Gwen's, her butt bigger, her boob's heftier, and her hair smoother. She was well put together in every way. Gwen wished she had brushed her hair a bit more, wished she wasn't here, alone, with Courtney.
With the girl who possibly wanted to murder her.
But Courtney simply planted herself in the seat straight across from Gwen, looking at her with half lidded eyes. "It's OK, if you don't wanna talk." She grabbed a grape from the delicious fruit bowl sitting on the tray of the seat. "These are good! Want some?"
Gwen was silent, blown away that Courtney would offer her something, much less talk to her as though she was a normal person, and not a 'lying-cheating-home-wrecker'.
The brunette gave her a half smile. "Oh, yeah, that's right. You don't want to talk to me because of him." She said the word like it was tainted. Her eyes were hard, lost, faded, ad though she was thinking of times long ago. But those times weren't at all long before, were they?
Gwen squirmed in her seat. This was uncomfortable, just being in the same room with her, much less within a five foot proximity.
Courtney rubbed her temples. "Gosh, you know, I never saw it coming." She shook her head, actually laughing a little bit. "That's a lie. I did, didn't I? And the both of you denied it."
Gwen couldn't speak. She couldn't bring herself to defend anyone, because the truth was that guilt had been eating her alive. She felt as though Courtney was planning on breaking her, and Courtney was hard. She could easily break Gwen, in more ways than one…
But she just stared at Gwen. "There are signs, though, there always are. He thinks he's so shady, but he's not." She bit her lip, her whole face filled with heat, her eyes blazing with betrayal. "He's not hard to read at all."
Gwen couldn't find her voice, but found herself lost in Courtney's words. It wasn't as though Courtney was talking to her, but to someone else, as though telling herself this, telling herself the truth. Her eyes were haunted. "It all starts out so great…"
"First, he tells you you're special." Courtney spoke softly. "That's when you start to feel like anything but." She fiddled with her hair, twirling it in her fingers. "You're not special to anyone. Not without him."
She sucked in a breath, finally looking to Gwen, actually looking at her. Gwen felt her heart speed up as Courtney's lips formed a small smile. A sincere one, not one injected with the venom she usually snuck at Gwen. "Then he starts holding you, starts touching you, making you feel like you're his, only his, and you start thinking that maybe he's yours, too."
Gwen felt the truth in her words, sucking her in, poking her. "And then… and then you realize it's nothing." She licked her lips, feeling her eyes start to get wet. "That's it. It's over." She shook her head, looking at Gwen through her tears. "If you ever start to feel anything but, if you feel any kind of doubt, get out of there."
Gwen felt her eyebrows curve upwards. "What?" But as Courtney stared at her with a certain trust, a certain unspoken bond, she felt it. She was giving her advice. She was giving her all she had left. She was telling her about her broken heart.
And, although Gwen was sure it couldn't be… Courtney was looking out for her.
A tiny part was.
But then Courtney shook her head. "And if you choose to not listen, then go ahead. My words don't mean much. I'm not sure I ever really knew he was." She got up, stepping away, about to head out the door. "But if he breaks your heart, you sure as hell don't blame anyone but yourself."
And Gwen could tell that Courtney was one to take her own advice. She could see that even though she had so much rage pent up against Duncan and Gwen, the only person she felt ashamed of was herself.
"Thank you." Gwen said quietly.
"Go fuck yourself." Courtney whispered, but there was no harshness in it. Just a mask that wasn't even a mask. Just words that floated out, that both of them wished were true.
But they weren't. And even as Courtney left the section of the plane, as Duncan came back to kiss her, all she could think of were Courtney's words.
"You start thinking maybe he's yours, too."
She could only hope Courtney's words were a lie, but both of them knew the truth.
That little bit Courtney had told her was true.
And, if Courtney was correct (Gwen prayed she wasn't), Duncan was anything but.
Maybe he was.
But if he wasn't everything she wanted, she would have no one to blame. Not anybody but herself.
A/N: *face palm* Was it just me, or was that kind of D/C fan girl writing?
I think I'm too biased! Whatever. I kind of liked it.
Everyone understand that the hate is directed toward DUNCAN, not GWEN. I love Gwen, at least in the first season. :D So no one feel any hate. (Except Duncan lovers…)
:D Thanks for reading!