Edward frowned and kicked at a ball that one of Alphonse's kittens liked to chase. He was muttering to himself, and finally leaned against the door of the bedroom.
"Alphonse, if you want turkey so bad, I'll buy one, but why do we have to go -there- to get some?" he called, and Al didn't answer. He frowned at the cat by his feet, then spied the candy dish, all wrapped and shining. He picked up a chocolate and sat on the couch, trying to remember how the two in there had convinced him of the merits of it. It was ugly, and didn't feel good either. He started to unwrap it, and Al's face poked out.
"Don't eat too many of those. We'll have dinner there." He chided and went back in, adjusting a black tie that Edward though made him look a little too clean, especially after last night's fight. He grumbled and stuck the chocolate in his mouth. Bunny, a blue-eyed siamese purred loudly from the other dies of the couch, seeming to be demanding Edward's attention.
"Edward, I know you don't wanna go . . . what's wrong with you?" Al asked gently. He was trying to smooth out his hair, which was growing out nicely. Edward made a face at him and ran his metal hand over the cat's back. It purred wildly and began to drool furiously. Al handed over a cuptowel and Ed set it under the cat's chin.
"Al. Dad is supposed to be dead. Envy BIT HIM IN HALF!" Edward said firmly. Al shrugged.
"I guess it wasn't so serious. I mean, Alfons survived, and Maes seems to be doing well . . . " Al said slowly. Edward blinked.
"I give up . . . but how the hell do you explain Envy living with the bastard?" He asked, Al shrugged and wiped Bunny's chin.
"Maybe they made up . . . I mean he is our older brother." Al said. Alfons chose this moment to walk out, his hair a mess and carrying another cat. It hissed at Edward and he blinked for a while.
"Umm . . . Hey Al, which one is that?" Edward asked, trying to place the one eyed, ragged creatures.
"That's Adonis." Alphonse said, without a trace of irony. Edward blinked.
"Of course it is." He conceded. Alphonse smiled and snuggled the animal closer to his face. Alfons shrugged and started combing his own hair, which wasn't much of a feat, it had two positions, wet, and crazy.
"Look, it's a big family gathering . . . Auntie's gonna be there, won't that be nice?" Al coaxed, and Edward shrugged.
"Fine. Let's go."
An hour later they were standing at the front door of a white washed country house, and Edward looked at the door, noticing the deep nail marks. "Al, you surely you don't just wanna go home and have some tacos?" Edward begged, but by then the door had opened, and Edward was staring directly into Lust's breasts.
"Uh . . . Uh . . . Uh . . . " Edward tried to think of something to say. . "Uh . . . aren't you dead?" he finally managed. Lust's eyes rolled, although Edward didn't notice.
"Yeah I died . . . Not sure why it didn't stay that way." She said, moving aside so they could come in. The front room was full of people, some of which Edward didn't know. Hohenheim was sitting in a wheelchair while Wrath poked a needle in his foot. He didn't seem to notice.
"Uh. Hey old man." Edward said, and Wrath looked up. Edward was relieved to see his eyes were currently blue. He blinked at Edward, then went back to his actions. Hohenheim shrugged.
"You know, all of the Homunculi seem to be alive except Sloth?" He said. Edward noticed the living ones all look at a fish tank and smirk. He decided not to ask.
"Uh yeah . . . so why are they all in your house anyway?" he asked. Hohenheim shrugged again.
"They needed someone, I guess . . . they're a lot easier to get along with without Dante around." He said. At that moment something slammed into Edward's back, and he wasn't quite sure what after that, but within a few minutes Envy was being sat on by a cross-legged Lust (pink panties) and Al was petting Ed.
"Oh, he gets a little over excited." Was all Hohenheim managed to say. Edward gawked.
"EXCITED?! He just attacked me!" Edward yelled. Lust also shrugged at this point.
"he got into the candy too early... he's very sorry." Envy might have said something, but his face was buried in the carpet. A girl with blue eyes and brown hair blew a mouthful of cigarette smoke at Ed.
"Oh, and who are these other people?" Ed asked. The girl raised a hand, it had short, manicured nails with pink tips.
"I'm Lizzie, that's Andrew there." She said, pointing at a boy who looked remarkably like an alchemist that Alphonse vaugly remembered as trying to blow him up.
Edward blinked. "uh, you look like."
"Zolf Kimblee" Several people said together, including the alchemist the name belonged to, who was attempting to roll out a pie crust, as Greed leaned on the counter, trying to eat the dough. Edward blinked.
"you two get along?" He asked. Kimblee glared.
"Not even slightly. I don't have a lot of choice." he growled and smacked Greed's face. The Homunculus licked his palm.
"Shut up, babe, you know you love it." He said smiling. Kimblee scowled and went back to the crust. Edward looked at Lust, who was wiping a smear of jam off Wrath's face with a tissue.
"Oh, I have no idea what they are doing together... But Kimblee can't blow anything up until his hands heal, he scraped them up falling off something." She said, uninterested in Edward's concern. She threw away the tissue and went over to the oven, peeking in at a fine turkey. She basted it a few times and smoothed her hair back, sitting down at a ladder back kitchen chair, looking at a card game going on, it was then that Edward noticed havoc, in a wheelchair, playing poker with Frank Archer and Pinako. They were using half Cenz coins as their bets.
Frank's automail was noticeably more normal, and Pinako seemed to stroke it every few moments. Edward tried not to gloat. He really DID have the best mechanics in the world.
He finally looked at havoc.
"Uh... First of all, why is Archer here?" he asked. Kimblee looked up.
"Even sociopaths like to spend the holidays with family." He snapped. Ed blinked, then nodded.
"You're his brother?" he said.
"Maes's too." Frank said, not looking up from his cards. "he just doesn't like to admit relation to us... we're not as kind and good as he is." Kimblee wiped his hands and set the crust in the second oven, then went into the living room, sitting on the couch beside the brown haired girl.
Edward processed this information, and sat down. Alphonse was busy telling their father about his collection of perfect cats (at least he claimed they were perfect) and Alfons has promptly gotten into a drinking contest with Din. Edward twitched a little.
"So uh... when's dinner?"
It was an hour and a half before the turkey was on the table, and the 'Family" gathered around it. Edward slowly looked around, as the group had bowed heads, respecting Hohenheim's catholic raising throughout the long prayer. He was slightly amused that Envy was sneaking bites through Hohenheim's long winded rambling. He finally said amen, and Edward was sure Lust had a look of rapture. She passed a knife to Maes, who was asleep. She blinked and looked at Envy, whose grin clearly meant no good for anyone should the knife be handed to him.
"Uh... who wants to carve the turkey?" She finally said, as she absently ruffled havoc's hair with her free hand. The look on his face was akin to that of a dog having its itchy spot finally scratched after hours of scooting its butt against the floor. Edward suddenly noticed there was a person that looked very like Hohenheim at the table, in a white dress. He tried to think if he'd ever met this person, but all he could remember was a sexual harassment seminar he had attended with Roy once. This man took the knife, but didn't touch the turkey. Nevertheless, it was soon carved and being dished out. Edward wondered if he had missed something. He quietly passed his plate to Lust, who dished it up and handed it back. Edward had to admit, nothing he could have bought at the store could smell this good...
He looked towards the two Als, and noticed them smiling and taking bites, dipping pieces of bread into gravy, and eating, and he looked over at Archer, who had Lizzie beside him, and was trying to teach her to spear equal parts of turkey, cranberry sauce, and dressing, then get it to her mouth, past them to Greed who was making faces at Andrew and sending him into hard laughter, making Kimblee smile just a touch at the corners of his mouth, despite the awkward bandages making the fork hard to control. They still had a touch of flour around the latex tape. He looked to Envy who was eating, his head down low to the plate, and at Hohenheim who, despite being in a wheelchair, was smiling with the comfort of a man whose lost a heavy burden. The man in the dress was watching Hohenheim eat, and seemed pleased about something, muttering something about a successful work. Wrath was on one side of Lust, gluttony on the other, both learning from Lust what they could eat. (Not the fork) He looked towards havoc, across the table from Lust, with an appraising look, at her face, not her chest. Maes had woken up and was cutting Elycia's food, and smiling, gracia who was in awe of having her husband returned to her, and finally he thought of himself, his anger at his father seeming very far away indeed. He felt very thankful.
A minute later, the food fight started.