…I swore I wouldn't touch fanfiction until I at least finished something else, but alas my boredom has finally broken my will and created something potentially horrible. So, some forewarning before we go on:

1. There is self-insert / real world fic

2. There will be pairings (that are not yuri)

3. There will be really strange language usage initially. This is due to setting. Yes, I know. I live in a strange place.

4. Due to my schedule, this will be on the bottom of my priority updating list and will more than likely have the shortest chapters. I'll try to keep them as entertaining as possible.

5. There will be chaos… Lots of chaos.

Hmm, alright. I think that about covers its. If you're still here, I hope you at least find yourself entertained by my madness. *Insert Laharl's laugh here* Alright, on with the show!

Prologue

[Tokyo, Japan – July 23rd 2013 22:45 p.m. English Subtitles]

A pair of men sat across from one another in a dimly lit café. One of them, a middle-aged gentleman with dark hair and eyes; dressed in a standard, black business suit, was sipping on what appeared to be black coffee. "How is the project coming along?" he asked tiredly. His gruff voice spoke in a whisper with its owner cautiously looking around to see if anyone was listening.

The other man, a relatively-young man with blonde hair and teal eyes; dressed in a white business suit, replied by sipping his own coffee. "It's coming along smoothly. The first twelve prototypes were distributed to the winners of the Online Gaming Fanatics competition the other day." Leaning onto the table, he said, "I believe some of them should be arriving in America, Australia, and the UK tomorrow morning."

"And it works?"

"For safety reasons, we picked a simple summon, but I can assure you that the results were perfect," answered the blonde man. The blonde man looked around before whispering, "Will that be all? We should probably make ourselves scarce before the main event."

The middle-aged gentleman stood up and quickly adjusted his blazer before nodding his head. "Yes. That will be all." He extended his hand with a sly smile on his face. "Thank you so very much for your cooperation Mr. Diablo."

A strange light flickered from Mr. Diablo's eyes as he calmly shook the elderly gentleman's hand with a smile. "Yes, I will look forward to the results." Picking up his briefcase, he said, "Goodbye, Mr. Nobunaga." As soon as those words left his lips, Mr. Diablo was immediately out the door.

Mr. Nobunaga's countenance twisted from a calm poker face into a twisted slasher smile. At last, he said, "Let the games begin."

Hyperdimension Showdown

Chapter 1: A Sleepover Gone Horribly Wrong

[Pukalani, Hawaii – July 24th 2013 16:32 p.m.]

"When will you be back?" asked a man in his fifties from a coffee-brown recliner. His graying hair almost shone beneath the sunset's rays. His dark-colored eyes seemed to be searching a young man standing at average height with dark hair and hazel eyes for answers.

Said man shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno. I got the prize from that online competition and the guys wanted to check it out with me." Fidgeting with the blue backpack on his back, the young man's eyes brightened. "Oh, I remember now- I won't be home until Friday, so you're on your own with the kid. Is that alright?"

"Yeah, it's fine," answered the older man dejectedly. "Have a good time, Ren."

"I will, Dad," replied Ren. Seeing the worry on his father's face, Ren groaned. "Dad, it's just for a few days. We're nerds for crying out loud. It's not like I'm gonna get caught up in a terrorist attack that blows up half of Wailuku or something."

Ren's dad rolled his eyes. His son's overdramatic backtalk was the last thing he wanted to hear this late in the afternoon. "Well, whatever. Just be sure to call if anything comes up."

It was obvious that Ren wasn't listening. As he was just stepping beyond the threshold of the garage door, he yelled, "Later, Dad!"

As the brash young man's father sat in his recliner, he gazed out toward the screen door and at the slowly setting sun. Watching it fall into the water, he slowly dozed off into a peaceful slumber.

[Wailuku, Hawaii – July 24th 2013 18:05 p.m.]

Clad in a pair of dark jeans and a dark-green t-shirt, Ren flipped open his black cellphone and hastily dialed a number. The young man leaned against a large, metallic gate as he waited for his call to connect. He took a moment to look around- the boring roadway, the dull trees that he had seen countless times. Everything about this place screamed boring, but in a moment, all of that was about to change. "Ho, what's up Ren?"

"'Sup Kai," answered Ren. "I'm waiting outside. Mind opening the gate for me?"

"Oh shit, you actually got out of your house!" joked Kai.

"I know right? It's a freaking miracle! The old man was probably in a good mood," replied a laughing Ren. Not too long after that, the green gate slowly rolled open. Stepping inside, Ren said, "I'll be up there in a flash. See you guys soon."

"'Kay. Shoots bro," replied Kai as per-usual Hawaii jargon.

"Shoots," said Ren. Hanging up and closing his phone, the young man quickly navigated through the small hallway toward a silver elevator and excitedly pressed the button to open the door. A few moments passed, but the door finally opened. It didn't take too long for Ren to step inside and push the button for the second floor while waiting a few more seconds for the elevator door to close. "I really hate how slow this thing is. It gives me the creeps," muttered the college student.

When the elevator finally dinged and freed Ren of his metallic imprisonment, the college student sighed with relief. "Okay, time to go see the others." Travelling down yet another hallway inside a mass of apartments, Ren finally stopped at door number 412. Knocking, he yelled, "So am I playing Neptunia by myself tonight or what?"

"REN!" yelled several people from inside. The college student nearly fell over as a group of boys quickly dragged him into the small flat.

Ren desperately tried to regain his balance as he stood himself up again. Instinctively making his way into the other room, –a room filled with anime wall scrolls– the college student grinned as he swung his backpack over his shoulder, unzipped the back pocket and pulled Hyperdimension Neptunia out of it. In front of him was a young man of Korean/Japanese descent with raven-black hair and dark-colored eyes, typing away on his laptop. "What up, Kai?"

Kai immediately looked up from his laptop and leaped into the college student's arms. "Ren!"

The shorter college student squirmed uncomfortably in Kai's grasp. "Dude, Kai, no homo."

Laughing, Kai removed himself from Ren's person and walked over to the other side of the narrow room to reveal a PS3 hooked up to a TV. "I've got everything ready. Hook the thing up already!"

Ren nodded quickly as he hustled over to the decently-sized television and pulled out a small flash drive. "They said this thing was called a Dimensional Realizer. Supposedly, if we hook it up to the PS3, the next game we put in will pull a character from the game at random and materialize them in our world."

"Bullshit. You mean like, holograms, right?" replied Kai.

"Dunno," answered Ren while shrugging his shoulders. Plugging the small device into the game system, Ren muttered, "Only one way to find out though."

Starting the PS3 up was of little difficulty. Everything seemed to be going completely fine until the xrossmedia bar was replaced with a big blue screen. Both college students stared at the TV in shock. "Dude, what the hell?" said Kai aloud.

Ren pointed at the screen and read the white words slowly being typed onto the screen. "Please insert a game disc of your choosing. You will only be able to do this once, so choose wisely." The hazel-eyed man paused and struck a pensive pose. "Hmm." Looking down at the copy of Hyperdimension Neptunia, he asked, "You wanna put this one in? Maybe we should put Blazblue or something in."

"Nah, it's cool. Just put it in already," answered Kai.

"That's what she said," joked Ren.

"Because that hasn't been said over a million times," retorted Kai.

"Whatever. Oh look, the disc went in!" said Ren as the two watched the screen go black.

Suddenly, two more voices entered the room.

"Hey, no threesomes without me!" yelled a chipper voice.

"Awgh, dude," muttered another one.

Turning around, Ren was met with a fair-skinned man with black hair and brown eyes, and a dark-skinned man with long black hair and dark-colored eyes. The two of them were clad in a pair of jeans and white undershirts. Clearly they had been up to another one of their matching shenanigans. The hazel-eyed man laughed a little. "Hey Allen. Hey Pedro. We're just trying out that thing I won. We put in the disc now."

"H-Hey, Ren!" asked Kai with a hint of urgency.

Ren didn't immediately reply. He was too busy conversing with Pedro and Allen. Meanwhile, Kai watched in horror as the screen typed, "We are materializing your character now. Best of luck in the Hyperdimension Showdown!" A strange, black portal projected itself from the flash drive. As it grew in size to that of a average-sized human, the temperature in the room lowered considerably. A gust of wind picked up- knocking over several figurines and multiple tissue boxes.

At last, Ren cocked an eyebrow and began to turn around. "Sorry Kai. What were you-" the hazel-eyed man paused in mid-sentence, unable to comprehend what was happening in front of him. "Holy-"

"-Shit," finished Pedro.

The four college students could only watch as a head of black hair finally started to emerge from the black portal. As the head of black hair slowly became more defined, the group could make out twintails. A woman with black hair in an overly-elegant dress was slowly materializing from the portal! They all looked at each other with astonishment evident on their faces as the girl's boots finally finished materializing. At last, the portal closed. A final message was typed out on the screen: "Best of luck, Ren Shikimori."

Ren sat there in complete astonishment, not even needing to take out the game's box to identify which CPU the game had pulled out. "W-We got Noire," he said quietly.

Pedro and Allen looked at each other confusedly. "Well, she's certainly hot," noted Pedro as he slyly looked over the unconscious girl's every inch.

Allen quickly pulled Pedro away. "The hell are you doing, man? She's asleep."

"That's not our only problem," interjected Ren. "We can't have someone this hot laying here. I mean seriously." Pointing at himself first and then at the rest of his friends, he said, "If someone walks in here now, they're sure to get the wrong idea. Plus, if she wakes up in this room." Ren took a moment to point out all of the very obvious ecchi posters Kai had posted all over his room. "She'll be sure to think we're freaks of some sort. In fact, I wouldn't put it past her to go HDD on us."

"HDD?" repeated Pedro.

"I think he's referring to the Infinite Stratos rip-off armor she gets when her hair turns white," explained Allen.

The room went silent.

"So, what should we do?" asked Kai.

Everyone immediately looked at Ren. Looking around, Ren quickly realized what everyone was thinking. "Ohhhh no, I am not-"

"You brought her here man," argued Kai.

"Well she can't go to Ren's house. His dad'll chew him out for sure," advised Pedro.

Allen snickered a little while crossing his arms. "Indeed. I live under Kai's bed, so I can't call the shots. How about it Kai? Up for a sexy roommate?"

Everyone's gazes immediately turned to Kai. While Ren was attempting to maintain a calm countenance, he was internally grinning ear-to-ear. Good. Now Kai can deal with the tsundere.

"No can do. I've got a girlfriend now, remember?" answered Kai.

Pedro, Allen, and Ren sighed with disdain. "Oh yeah, that's right." said the three dejectedly. The four boys looked down at Noire worriedly.

"I don't know about you guys, but maybe it'd be good to take her somewhere less," Ren paused, "Suspicious-looking."

Pedro thought about it for a moment. "I could take her to my place, but I wouldn't be able to explain anything when she gets up." It was an honest offer, but it was clear that none of the boys knew what to do.

"I'm not sure if any of us knows what exactly is going on here," added Allen.

Kai sighed and took a seat on one of the two beds in the room. "Well, I'll go back to playing League while you guys figure this out."

"Okay," answered Pedro, Allen, and Ren. As Kai returned to his desk, the three stared at each other and then back at Noire. The three were wracking their brains, but none of them had a solution. Since they had no idea as to how Noire showed up in the first place, it wasn't as if they could just put her back.

Thinking on all of the missed opportunities he had, Ren muttered, "Can I have a do over?"

"A little late to be asking that," joked Pedro.

"True that," replied Ren. Looking down at Noire, the hazel-eyed man thought to himself, This seriously can't get any more awkward than it already has.

"Hey guys, I'm here!" yelled a voice from the door.

"Hey, it's Dakota!" cheered Pedro. While he dashed to get the door, Allen and Ren remained where they were to come up with a solution to their problem.

A bulky teen with curly, black hair and hazel eyes quickly flew into the room. Laying eyes on Noire, he yelled, "Holy crap! Whose is that?" Pointing at Noire's upper body, he proclaimed, "I don't know which one of you lucky bastards tapped that, but I am totally jealous!"

Massaging his temples, Ren replied, "Look, how about we all grab some soda first? It looks like this is gonna be one helluva night."

Author's Notes:

Slow and easy start to something I randomly thought up in the middle of the night.