Our One Day, Every Day

I was inspired to write a one-shot type story after watching the finale. This is temporarily (at least for this chapter) ignoring Burgess getting shot. I'm not necessarily changing that part just not bringing it into this story yet. I know the finale was disappointing for us Linstead fans, but I think something good can/will come out of it. Anyway if they were to let me write the next episode, it go something like this…

*I do not own or have any rights to Chicago PD or the characters within, although I sure wish I did..

ERIN POV

Erin took a deep breath as she released Voight from a hug and prepared herself to face the rest of her unit. She made her choice. She was going to join the Feds and head up her own task force. It was a dream come true for so many reasons, yet there was a nagging pain in the back of her mind telling her not to leave Intelligence. She shook her thoughts away telling herself she had been over this a million times in her head the past week and she had made her decision.

Erin turned on her heels and slowly began walking towards the door of Voight's office, knowing that Voight was close behind waiting for her verbal decision but had already vowed to back her choice no matter what. She opened Voight's office door and let her eyes scan the Intelligence room where her partners all smiled and joked with each other. She smiled as she saw Antionio and Olinsky talking. She loved and respected them so much. Her eyes shifted to watch Atwater, Ruzek and Halstead messing around with each other. She sucked in a breath as she realized how much she was going to miss them all. One in particular…Jay.

Erin still had not had the opportunity to really discuss this job opportunity with Jay and there was one huge contingency that she had to talk to him about. Every time she was about to begin the conversation or saw an opportunity to talk to him about it, work got in the way and she pushed it off again. As if he felt her staring at him, Jay looked up smiling and asked if she was in for Molly's . Erin took a deep breath and knew it was now or never. She fidgeted with her hands as she struggled to find the words.

Erin softly cleared her thought and told the room she had something to tell them. All of a sudden all eyes were on her and she felt like she was a teenager again under the scrutiny of Voight after she was caught sneaking out. Erin let her eyes slide around the room as she broke the news that she decided to take the job. Erin breathed a sigh of relief at finally verbalizing her decision and let her eyes settle on Jay. Erin slightly licked her lips and gave him a small shrug with a tentative smile on her face.

She was trying desperately to read the expression in Jay's eyes but she was at a loss. Erin thought she saw surprise at first, then understanding then…anger? Erin felt her heart fluttering and sinking at the same time. She had to speak to Jay alone soon. There was something he didn't know, something that had been central in her accepting this job. She watched as Jay forced a small smile onto his face, still with his brow furrowed and looked down at his hands momentarily.

The rest of the room responded with congratulations. Ruzek gave her a whistle and a salute as he called her boss lady. Antonio gave her a hug and told her she would be great and Olinsky gave her a passive nod indicating his approval. Even Atwater enveloped her in a hug and added an extra squeeze as he told her she would be great and he would miss her.

Still Jay sat in his chair with a deadpan look on his face and glazed over eyes. Erin sighed as she realized this might be difficult but she had not expected to feel so happy yet so heartbroken at the same time.

Erin cleared her throat, "Thanks you guys so much. Don't think that I won't still come kick some ass with you some times. You guys will always be the best and I will never forget where I came from….So Molly's it is! I think the first round is definitely on me."

Erin turned to face Voight who had the slightest of smiles on his face. "You kids go ahead. I've got some things to finish up here." Voight gave Erin one more squeeze on the arm. "I'm proud of you kid. The feds are lucky to have you." Erin smiled at him appreciatively. "Thanks Hank."

Ruzek stood up and clapped his hands. "Well, what are we waiting for? Now we really have a reason to celebrate so let's get going!" Ruzek lead the team out the door down the stairs. Erin stood standing still as she watched them head out the door. Jay was still planted in his seat as he rubbed his hand across his face, looking up at Erin. Finally Jay let out a sigh and stood up.

Slowly he made his way around his desk grabbing his jacket in the process. Erin's heart was beating fast in her chest and it only thumped harder as Jay took a step towards the door. Erin furrowed her brow and her previous apprehension turned into anger. Was he really going to walk out the door without saying anything? At all?

As if reading her thoughts, Jay turned around still expressionless. His eyes locked on to Erin's and she immediately lost her will to be angry. Jay put his both hands in his jacket pocket and softly sighed. "Well lets go….you are the guest of honor now anyhow. You wouldn't want to be late for your own party." The last part came out with a trace of sarcasm. Erin decided to push by the last comment and walked past Jay out the door. As she made her way down the stairs of the Intelligence Unit for possibly the last time, Erin asked herself why what was supposed to be the best day of her life felt like it was turning into one of the worst.

JAY'S POV

Jay dropped himself into the driver's seat of own car and slammed the door with unnecessary force. "Fuck!" he yelled to himself in his car as he slammed the passenger seat of his car with his right fist. He had been controlling all the feelings that were swirling around in his head when Erin dropped the news and they were coming to the surface now.

How could she just decide to leave? Leave the Intelligence unit and…and leave him. Jay sighed heavily at his last thought and closed his eyes. He knew there was no 'them' or 'us,' but he lived to start every day with the hope that there would be 'one day'. Did she not feel any of the same feelings that he did? Every moment he spent with Erin he felt alive and whole. And all the moments of the day he wasn't with her he was thinking about her and imaging a life were he could share more than just the moments at work.

Jay gripped his steering wheel and let out a huge breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. How could Erin not know that he wanted everything with her? Over the past two years they had both shared some intense moments and there was no denying there was something more than physical attraction between the two. Sure there was a lot of that also, a lot. Erin was arguably the most gorgeous women Jay had ever laid eyes and he wouldn't even hesitate to say in the world. But there was so much more than that. Erin was the most bad ass women he ever knew and also the most kind-hearted and unselfish at the same time. She was every man's dream and Jay saw it all slipping away as she voiced her decision only minutes ago.

Jay shook his head realizing that he had no claim on Erin and that he should be happy for her. He was happy for her. She is an amazing cop that earned this once and a life time chance. Jay bit the inside of his cheek as he realized she did not deserve to be treated like he had in the Intelligence room. He needed to support his partner regardless of his deep personal feelings. She might not be his partner tomorrow but today she still was, and he wasn't going to let her down now. It might be the hardest thing he has had ever had to do, but Jay was going to pretend to be happy for her…even if his heart was breaking on the inside. With one last sigh, Jay started his car and headed off to Molly's.

ERIN POV

Erin arrived at Molly's and found the group towards the back already working on two pitchers of beer. Erin approached the group immediately noticing that Jay wasn't there yet. Was he not coming at all? Erin felt her shoulders slump at the thought. The only reason she came was to see and talk to Jay. He needed to know the truth about her job offer. He needed to know how she really felt. But based on his reaction in the Intelligence room, maybe he didn't care about her in the way she hoped. Erin stood up and offered to buy the group a round of whatever they wanted. Ruzek was first to chime in that he felt it was a good night for Irish car bombs. Erin nodded and headed off to the bar.

She found an opening in the crowded bar and slid in trying to make eye contact with the bartender. Erin felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to her right to see a middle aged man sloppily grinning at her, slightly swaying as he gripped the bar counter. "Hey you sexy thing. Let me buy you a drink and you can thank me later for it" he managed in heavily slurred speech. Erin scoffed to herself pushing the man back with one of her fingers on his forehead. "Not even if you were the last thing on this planet." Erin turned herself back around as she ordered her drinks.

She felt another hand on her, but this time it gripped her on the hips causing her to flinch hard. Erin spun hard to her right ready to engage the man with a knee to the groin. Just as she was about to take action, she felt an arm on her shoulder from behind give her a light squeeze while pulling her back. Erin narrowed her eyes ready to engage two opponents as she swung her head to the right catching Jay's profile. Erin sighed in brief relief as she got ready to readdress the drunk ass in front of her.

Jay stepped in between the two and softly said to the drunk man, "Trust me dude, you are picking a fight with the absolute wrong women. How about you take a hike before she acts on her thoughts." The man looked Jay up and down and mouthed a kiss over him to Erin as he turned on his feet and staggered from the bar.

Jay turned back to Erin as she stared back into his eyes. "I had that under control you know." Erin spat as she was slightly pissed she did not get the change to practice her technique of male neutering. She heard Jay let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, yeah I know Erin and that was what I was worried about. You putting that guy in the hospital might but a damper on this little party wouldn't you say? Here let me help you with the drinks." Jay grabbed all but two of the drinks and took off towards the table. Erin grabbed the rest and followed Jay through the crowd towards her waiting friends.

JAY'S POV

Jay entered Molly's and quickly spotted their table. He noticed Erin was absent and his heart briefly sunk as he realized she might have decided not to come at all. Jay turned to scan the bar and an uncontrollable smile began to form on his face as his eyes fell on Erin. She was leaning against the bar talking to the bartender. God she was gorgeous. Every piece of clothing hugged her in all the right places and caused a tingling feeling to run throughout Jay's body as blood rushed towards his groin area. Jay let out a soft groan as he shifted his stance and his eyes to a man standing next to Erin. The man was obviously drunk and more obviously attempting to hit on Erin.

Jay had slowly learned to control his feelings of jealously when he saw a man hitting on Erin since it happened practically every time they went out anywhere..on the job or not. Still, Jay had an overwhelming desire to rip their heads every time. Jay began walking towards the two as he observed Erin getting ready to cause some sort of pain to the unsuspecting man.

Jay quickly closed the distance between Erin and him and slightly pulled her back from behind. He told the man as politely as possible to back the fuck up before Erin kicked his ass. As always, Erin appeared infuriated that Jay stepped into one of her battles. Jay quickly picked up most of the drink order and headed towards the table as to avoid any discussion of the incident.

Once Jay made it to the table, he greeted the guys and handed out shots. Erin joined the team and they began rehashing their most recent bust of the heroin kingpin. Jay tried to stay engaged in the conversation but his mind kept wandering to tomorrow and the next day and the day after that when he would arrive at work….arrive at a work with no Erin. He didn't know if he would even be able to set foot in the Intelligence unit if it meant staring at her empty desk.

The group's conversation had shifted to Erin's new job and Jay groaned as he took a sip of his beer. He was doing fine with the distraction of other conversation but he wasn't sure if he could join in on the banter about what Erin's first bust would be as a fed. Ruzek said she would have the streets cleaned up in less than a year and put them all out of jobs. The group cheered in unison and toasted Erin.

Atwater chugged the rest of his beer and looked at Erin. "So when are you officially leaving us then?"

Erin silently played with the ring of her beer glass. "I think its basically.. effective immediately."

Jay was in the process of setting his glass down as she answered and ended up spilling it all over the counter as his fist involuntarily clenched at her words. Effective immediately? Just like that she was going to be gone from his life. Jay realized he was about to have a break down in the middle of Molly's and all of a sudden couldn't breathe. Jay quickly got up from his stool throwing a $20 down on the table. "Hey I forgot I need to do something…and ah, congratulations again Erin." Jay turned on his heels leaving before anyone had the chance to say anything.

As Jay pushed open the door to Molly's and entered the cold Chicago night, he felt his eyes glazing over. He thought he could pretend to be happy for Erin's sake but he was wrong. The reality of losing her was too much for him and he had to get out of there. Jay took a deep breath as he headed for his car.

ERIN'S POV

What the fuck? Was all Erin could muster in her mind as Jay quickly left the table at Molly's. Erin's first instinct was to go after Jay, however she knew the rest of the group was here to help her celebrate and she wasn't going to leave without saying goodbye. Ruzek made a sarcastic remark that Jay must have had a mad case of diarrhea as Atwater commented it might be his time of the month. Both Olinksy and Antonio were silent and shared a look between the two that Erin could not read.

After about five minutes of pretending to be into the conversation Erin knew she had to go face Jay. Regardless of what an ass he had been, she still had something she needed to tell him. Erin made her way around the bar thanking each of her partners, leaving the table an extra $40 for rounds on her. Erin smiled at the group who she loved so much and turned towards the door.

Erin pushed the door open to Molly's and jogged to her car. It was now or never she thought as she started her car and headed off to Jay's apartment.

Erin pulled up to Jay's complex and quickly exited her car. She stared up to the third floor of the building and she smiled when she saw a light illuminating the one apartment that mattered. Erin took one last deep breath and jogged the rest of the way to the outside of Jay's door. Erin stared at the door a few seconds catching her breath. Erin raised her hand to Jay's door and briefly paused as she closed her eyes and willed herself to push out the anxious feelings building in her chest and causing her body to shake slightly. She clenched her jaw and forced her hand to make a fist, knocking three times on Jay's door.

Erin could hear Jay making his way to the door as she bit her lower lip in anticipation. Maybe this was a bad idea. Erin shifted on her feet as she realized it was too late as the door opened and she met the eyes of Jay. Those eyes. Erin could look into those eyes forever. She watched the expression on Jay's face go from surprise to confusion in a matter of seconds. Erin decided to bypass formalities and pushed past Jay into his apartment without a formal invitation. "We need to talk Halstead." Erin paced back and forth before turning to face Jay who was softly closing his door. Jay turned to face Erin now expressionless.

Erin gritted her teeth in frustration. How can he not have any opinion or emotion on this! She was going to leave and he didn't even care. Erin momentarily forgot the real reason she needed to talk to Jay being blinded by the anger and hurt she was feeling at Jay's blatant aloofness.

"Do you…Do you not even fucking care or have an opinion on me leaving? Have two years of partnership meant nothing to you?" Erin took a breath as she looked into Jay's eyes. She could see a twisting of emotions causing a storm in his eyes but she could not figure out what the emotions were. All of a sudden Erin saw Jay clench his jaw and pump his fists twice as he breathed deeply and ran both hands over the top of his head down the front of his face coming together at the bottom of his chin.

"Well at least tell me why you don't care…."Erin paused again hoping Jay would say something…anything. Anger raged in Erin now as she began to pace again looking at the floor. "All those times we had each other's back, all those times I've been there for you….all those times we came close to having our 'one day,' …and you don't even care tha.." Erin was abruptly interrupted by an extremely loud cracking sound as she stopped pacing dead in her tracks and looked at Jay who was now cradling his right first in his left hand with a grimacing scowl on his face. Erin's eyes shifted to the wall directly adjacent to Jay and she observed the fist sized hole in it. "I don't.."Erin started.

JAY'S POV

Jay had finished his first beer as he heard three knocks on the door. He groaned at the thought of company and slowly got up to tell whoever it was to go away. Jay opened the door and his breath immediately caught in his throat. Erin? What was she doing here? He thought she would still be celebrating with the rest of the crew or already packing for her new job…her new life. Jay was still caught up in his thoughts as Erin breezed by him into his apartment. He quietly closed the door and faced Erin with his mind still reeling.

Then Erin began to speak. How could I not fucking care? Was this a sick joke Jay thought. She was the one leaving! Jay felt his body clenching up and breathed deeply. He felt a tightening in his chest as he refocused on Erin who began pacing back and forth and Jay tried hard to focus on what she was saying as she strode back and forth inside his apartment. Then Jay heard it, and something in him snapped. Their one day, that was all Jay wanted a chance at..their one day. And now she was throwing that in his face when she was the one leaving.

Jay couldn't control the shaking rage that was forming inside his body and he knew he had to release it before he exploded. He immediately turned to the nearest object and released his building emotion with one punch. Jay felt hot tingling pain shoot through his right fist up his forearm and to his shoulder as he writhed in pain. Jay was briefly distracted by the pain he was feeling until he heard Erin begin to speak again and immediately cut her off.

"No! You don't have a fucking right to talk to me about 'one day' when you are the one leaving! You are leaving Erin! You are leaving Intelligence and, and…you are leaving me!" Jay was taking deep heaving breaths now and knew he wasn't going to stop until he told Erin how he felt.

Erin was now frozen in her spot staring at Jay, the anger now completely gone from her face. Jay closed the distance between the two in two long strides. He gently grabbed her right hand in his left and held her hand up to his chest. "Don't you see Erin? I care too much. I can't just happily watch you walk out of my life because you are taking my life with you when you leave. Don't you see?" Jay reached up and gently stroked Erin's cheek with his still throbbing right hand while still holding her other hand flush against his chest.

Erin licked her lips, "Jay I need.." Jay moved his injured hand to her lips in a gentle mention while softly speaking "shhh. Let me finish Erin. I know this task force is a once and a lifetime opportunity for you. But I can't be happy about you leaving, not being able to see you every day, not seeing those gorgeous eyes and that gorgeous smile,…not finally having a chance at…" Jay softly took Erin's left hand in his right and brought it to his mouth in a soft kiss "A chance at our one day. I know you.." Jay began as Erin quickly jerked both her bands from Jay and placed them on either side of his face forcing his eyes to lock with hers.

"Damn it Jay, let me finish!"Erin began, pausing as she looked at Jay as if making sure he wasn't going to continue to speak. After a second Erin took a deep breath and began to speak as she let her hands gently slide from Jay's face to the hem of his shirt. "I came here to tell you something so let me do it….This task force, I only took the job with one contingency." Erin said as Jay's eyes darted back and forth inside his head as he was processing what she was saying. "That contingency was I get to bring on someone to help me lead it…my choice of who I want….Jay I want you. I want you to come with me." Jay searched Erin's eyes as she continued, "And I want….I want our one day to be, every day."

Erin paused locking eyes with Jay. Jay was stunned as his mind reeled trying to comprehend what Erin had just told him. She wanted him? She wanted him to come with her? She wanted their one day? Erin pulled on the hem of Jay's shirt bringing him back to the surface of his thoughts. "So what do you say Halstead, are you in?"

Jay reached down and took her hands in his as he squeezed them. "Erin, I'd follow you through hell and back if it meant having our one day." He brought both her hands to his mouth this time, softly kissing them both, "Oh I'm definitely all fucking in." Jay ended with a smile as he pulled Erin against him in a crushing hug and nuzzled his face into her neck.

Erin chucked as she was pulled off her feet into a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and breathed in his sweet yet masculine scent. "I knew this was the best day of my life. " She smiled into his chest.

They both stood frozen in time, locked in their embrace. Neither cared about what was going to happen five minutes from now or five months from now. For now they were together, and nothing had ever felt so right.

So, what did you think? Like I mentioned this could be a one-shot or I could continue it. It was just my thoughts after the finale and I thought I'd share. Please review if you'd like to see more. For those of you following my other story 'Love is in the Water,' I have not abandoned it. I just wanted to get this out while it was still fresh in my head. Please Review!