A/N Hey guys, Cat here- this is my first fic, written for my great friend chenoweth-in-space. Seriously, check out her stories, especially if you like this one. I know it's not exactly Christmas time, but I couldn't not post this. Enjoy!

Arthur was feeling uncomfortable. Not the sort of uncomfortable he felt when his pens weren't arranged in height order and perpendicular to the edge of the desk, or the uncomfortable he felt when his folders weren't colour coded in rainbow order. This was a feeling especially reserved for the cheeky Englishman of the team. More specifically, a feeling especially reserved for when Eames was smiling. And it was not a good smile, Arthur realised, as it spread wider across Eames' cheeks. Not that the forger HAD any good smiles. Arthur definitely didn't appreciate the small ones flicked at him across the room, normally accompanied by a lingering stare. Definitely not. Shaking himself from his reverie, Arthur returned his attention to the smile, or rather the grin it had swiftly become. It was the kind of smile that would put sharks from well-known Pixar films to shame, and make brightly striped Cheshire cats practise for hours in front of a mirror. Arthur sighed. A long suit shopping trip would be needed in the next few days.

Eames, on the other hand, was close to bouncing with excitement. He had been holding in a snigger ever since he performed the final check on his tinsel-festooned box, carefully hidden in the warehouse and it had become harder not to burst into maniacal laughter, worthy of an evil villain, ever since he'd entered the warehouse. Especially once he'd caught a glimpse of the adorably concerned face of Arthur. As Eames' beamed at him, a tiny crease appeared on the point-man's forehead. He fought the urge to smooth it away with his thumb, bitterly remembering the speed with which Arthur had him on the floor last time he touched him, and wishing he could have been the one tackling Arthur to the floor.

As Eames drifted into a daydream of what exactly he could do with Arthur on the floor, the beam faded and the rest of the warehouse heaved a collective sigh of relief. Ever since the beginning of December, the forger had been neglecting his work in favour of childlike excitement about the approaching holiday, starting by producing an enormous countdown device, and forcing each team member to open a door in turn. Arthur had his suspicions about the gifts inside, after Cobb received a pair of mirrored shades to "protect the world from his squint whenever he tries to display any form of human emotion" as Eames had so tactfully put it. After the chequebook for lovers, complete with scribbled note reading "Enny time you want too use thees, you no were I am ;)" in Arthur's drawer, he had no doubt that the device had been set up for maximum embarrassment value.

Worse had been the time when Eames stayed late to 'check his spelling on some important documents with Ariadne and Saito'. Believing that the forger could cause minimal damage under the supervision of the man who seemed to have no sense of humour, the rest of the team lost all hope of a peaceful life when they entered the warehouse which seemed to contain every Christmas decoration in Paris. (In fact, as they later discovered, it did contain every Christmas decoration from the Parisian shops. Saito had insisted on buying everything after discovering the duo's plan, explaining "It seemed neater." in his matter-of-fact way.)

However, the grin which seemed to fill Eames' face on both those occasions paled in comparison to that with which he was well-meaningly directing at each team member. Arthur threw a glance at the countdown, wondering whose turn it was to be publicly humiliated today.

"Ratbags," he muttered under his breath after realising the significance of the 2 numbers on the final door, and clearly the reason behind Eames' Joker-like grin. Arthur got up to leave, but Eames slammed the door shut before he could leave in an attempt to find a suit shop that was still open, or if worst came to worst, an internet café where he could shop online without Eames adding...items...to his order. Not that the handcuffs wouldn't have been useful. He could ensure a whole day of peace without Eames. The pointman refused to think about the other, altogether more pleasurable uses that the forger had probably had in mind, and was fortunately distracted by the English voice screaming "HAPPY CHRISTMAS!" as he flung the final door on his countdown open.

The rest of the team looked shell shocked. It was not exactly the reaction the Englishman had been expecting, but then again, he had covered them all in sparkling glitter.
"Eames..." Ariadne was the first to break the silence, shortly followed by Yusuf.
"What...have you done?"
"I invented a glitter cannon. I'd have thought that was perfectly obvious. Could someone make sure Cobb puts his sunglasses on? Before he destroys more than Northern Siberia and a 747 with his squint." Saito raised one eyebrow just a fraction. Eames wasn't sure if it was because of the glitter settling in his dark hair, or because Saito had just bought most of Northern Siberia to aid the team in their new job. It seemed neater than just the manor house which they actually required. Whichever it was, Eames was getting the impression that Saito was not impressed as the eyebrow inched higher and decided to move swiftly onwards.

"It's CHRISTMAS, and I have bought you all gifts out of the kindness of my heart. And also because I'm aware that I'm not always the easiest person to work with during the holiday season-"
"Understatement of the year," Arthur muttered under his breath to Ariadne, who nodded fervently in agreement.
"So I bought you all gifts to say thank you for supporting me. I know not all of you want to celebrate Christmas-" Eames paused here to offer a nod to Cobb, who may or may not have squinted under the glasses in an effort to produce an emotion vaguely resembling thanks and recognition.
"-but as a child I never celebrated Christmas. Or any other holiday. I'm so glad that you guys have helped me to discover another piece of my childhood." The team held a moment of silence, until Eames spotted something.
"Arthur, pet, is that a tear I see? Was my speech really that moving?" Arthur opened his mouth, sardonic comment at the ready, then stopped himself.
"Yes Eames, it was. None of us are here because we had an easy life up until this point, but you've given us all a glimpse of what it's like to be...vaguely normal." It was Christmas, after all. What harm could it do to give the forger his pleasure for once?

Precisely 5.27 seconds later, Arthur found out. Eames had hugged him with surprising strength and was refusing to let go. Arthur breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth, just like his therapist had been teaching him, but instantly regretted it. Underneath the smell of cheap suits and cheap cologne, Eames smelled...good. Almost like rich dark chocolate and Irish coffee. Unconsciously, Arthur took another deep breath of the scent that was unmistakably Eames and relaxed into the forger's embrace.

Eames was stunned into silence. 12.8 seconds later, and his arms were still wrapped tightly around the pointman's waist. This had to be the best Christmas ever. Eames felt Arthur relax in his arms, but then stiffen when he noticed the other 4 team members watching them with a variety of amused expressions on their faces, and in Yusuf's case, what appeared to be exasperation as he dropped a handful of coins into Ariadne's outstretched hands.
"Ummm...Eames?" Cobb seemed hesitant to spoil the moment, but if he didn't then he would be forced to wait even longer until he could go back to forgetting Christmas in peace. "Could we have our gifts now? Please?"

Eames unwound himself from Arthur's waist and bounded towards the cardboard box that he'd been so worryingly excited about, the beam returning to his face.
"Since you asked so nicely Cobb, you can have yours first." A tanned arm fished into the sea of coloured paper and hooked out a large box, wrapped in shiny black paper. Cobb slowly, deliberately pulled the paper away to reveal-
"A TRAIN SET? God Eames, could you get more insensitive?"

The forger had the decency to look guilty during Ariadne's outburst, although he was secretly glad that Cobb was wearing his sunglasses. One can only imagine the damage the squint of anger mingled with sadness could cause.
"I guess we're not quite ready to laugh about the train incident yet? Oh-kay...Ariadne, why don't you open your gift, and then you can take Cobb off and do...whatever it is you do to make him happy again." Eames was already holding the hand printed brown paper package, which Ariadne accepted suspiciously.
"I like this paper Eames. Very tasteful and mature. It makes me worry about what it's covering." In a fit of youthfulness, Ariadne ripped the paper covering her present away.

5 minutes later, and Ariadne had disappeared with Cobb, no doubt to mutter angrily about the "stupid, tactless ratbastard" together. Arthur had finished picking up Ariadne's crayons and arranging them on her desk in rainbow order, while Yusuf was flicking through her colouring book with Eames and Saito.
"You know, some of these pictures are very advanced for young children!" Eames yelled at Cobb's private office.
"Perhaps when you've finished mocking the best architect we've seen in years, the rest of us could have our presents and forget the whole thing?"

Somehow, Eames managed to bite back his tongue at Yusuf's comment, reminiscent of his one and only childhood Christmas and handed cream envelopes to Saito and the chemist

with a cheery "Here you go, darlings."

At the last word, Arthur felt a strange and unfamiliar twinge of jealousy, which he beat back viciously. He would not- could not- be having these feelings for Eames. Of all the people his heart could have chosen, it had to have the cocky, unstoppable, flirting forger.

He was startled from his nagging irritation by an unprecedented event- Saito thanking Eames profusely, a large grin plastered across his face.
"What did you get him?" Arthur mouthed incredulously. Eames didn't answer him directly, but pointed at Yusuf still struggling with his gift, mimed opening an envelope, and then drew his index finger across his throat in a universal symbol which Arthur understood only too well.
"Come for a coffee with me Eames?" Arthur asked, ignoring Yusuf's sniggers. They set off walking briskly, breaking into a run when they heard the chemist's bellows.

"EAMES! I DO NOT NEED DRIVING LESSONS!"

Huddled over a cup of coffee, Arthur breathed in the heavenly scent, remarkably similar, now he came to think of it, to that of the forger sitting opposite him. God, was his whole life centred around the irritating Brit? Unusually, Eames was silent, meditatively stirring the last dregs of his coffee. His brow was crinkled and his mouth puckered up in concentration, a double chocolate chip cookie crumb caught on the corner. The pointman had to restrain himself from reaching out and wiping it away, but just before his hand started trembling with the effort Eames finally shattered the comfortable silence.
"Don't you want to hear what I got Saito?"
"Of course- what could you get the man who has anything?"
"I gave him a voucher, to be used at his leisure, which guarantees him a whole day on which I won't bother him, or cause any incidents which might lead other people to bother him."
A soft smile lit up Arthur's eyes, and he teasingly asked "Don't you care enough about me to get me a present?

Arthur was feeling uncomfortable. The uncomfortable reserved for the beam which had lit up the forger's face when Arthur had asked a simple, innocent (albeit slightly flirty) question. Eames had dragged him back to the now-empty warehouse and was rummaging through his desk. A banana flew through the air, clipping Arthur's ear, followed by a fishing rod and a small rubber duck. Just as Arthur was moving out of the danger zone, Eames turned round triumphantly, a seemingly classy black leather box in his hand. Tentatively, Arthur opened the lid.
"EAMES! WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU CALL THIS?"
"It's a tie. A festive one, with Rudolph on it. Honestly pet, I'd have thought you'd recognise a tie when you saw one. God only knows you wear enough of them."
Arthur was so upset he was struggling to form coherent sentences.
"This...this thing." He picked it up gingerly between his thumb and forefinger. "This monstrosity is not a tie. Where is the flair? The style? The panache? How are you supposed to look suave with Rudolph around your neck?"

It seemed that for the moment, Arthur had finished insulting the offending accessory, and so Eames took the opportunity to show Arthur the tie's crowning glory: Rudolph's nose, which flashed a red light, bright in the gathering gloom of the warehouse. The pointman collapsed onto a chair, head in his hands.
"Could things get any worse?" he muttered. Suddenly, a tinny tune that Arthur took a moment to recognise as 'Jingle Bells' was echoing around the large open space.

A warm hand was on Arthur's head, stopping him from hitting it on the desk any more than had been necessary. Although Eames had managed to turn the overly cheery music off, Rudolph's nose was flashing...from around Eames's neck.
"Eames." Arthur spoke coolly now. "Either you're wearing my tie, in which case you're a bastard, or you let me think that you were actually going to make me wear that...thing, in which case you're a ratbastard."
The Englishman grinned happily, holding out a navy blue box about the same size as the black one had been.
"I'm a ratbastard. Most definitely."
Arthur gasped softly when he opened the box to reveal a silk cravat in a purple so deep it was almost black. It was perfect for him.
"Thank you Eames." Arthur stroked the tie almost reverently. "What can I get you? I didn't get you anything, I thought that I'd be too angry after whatever it was that you'd been plotting to want to give you anythi-"
Eames cut him off mid-ramble with a soft kiss. Not passionate, and not demanding, but gentle and romantic. The pointman simply shut his eyes, and immersed himself in the overwhelming experience that was Eames. When the forger finally pulled away, Arthur exhaled shakily.
"Now I definitely need to get you the best Christmas present of your life."
"You already did. I got you."

Fin

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it- if you did, please review! I'm considering writing the team during some other holidays, so please let me know.

Love Cat xxx