Because I'm Me
Chapter 1: Zen's Nightmare
If she don't love me
What can I do?
Just put on my best pair of shoes, 'cause
I'm me
Cause she said, "he's the one
That drill the charms
Honey let's go wrong"
I just want to know, what's wrong with me
Being in-love with you
Zen woke up with a dry mouth, a heaving gasp, and sweat all over his body.
Red eyes adjusted to the darkness of his room. The digital clock in his room read 3:05 AM. It was nowhere near the time he had to wake up.
"Crap." Based on the way his bed was rumpled, he probably had a bad dream. For the life of him he couldn't remember what it was clearly. There was… someone beautiful in his dream. Beautiful dark eyes, a frown. The rest of her features forgotten, except for the overwhelming emotion of loss in the pit of his chest. In the scene she was mouthing something to him soundlessly, and then he was sucked into the void of forgetting…
He shook his head and slapped his face gently. He went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water and chugged that down. Instinctively, as he stood trying to recover, he unlocked his phone and logged on to the messenger.
ZEN entered the chatroom.
707: So invest now in the SEVENSTAR drink! Available in your local 7-11 stores nationwide!
MC: Goddess Seven! You are the shining star of business! Please take all my money~!
ZEN: Hi guys.
MC: Welcome, Zen! Why are you up so early?
707: And here's another sleepless and satisfied customer!
ZEN: No way;;;
ZEN: Don't listen to that guy, MC. And don't trust in whatever experimental thing he's doing
ZEN: He's a great hacker but
ZEN: He's running on pure caffeine and Honey Butter Chip for brain fuel
MC: ….
707: ….?
ZEN: ….?
MC: You okay Zen?
ZEN: I had a bad dream and it's hard to fall asleep again
MC: Oh. Is that why you're kinda disoriented?
ZEN: Yeah I guess so
ZEN But I'm recovering though
ZEN: I just drank water
707: … MC, let me make it clear that this is an unprecedented side effect of the SEVENSTAR drink
707: Postmarketing reports showed varied results in memory and cognitive function
MC: Oh no!
707: We'll have to up the dosage of caffeine for this one
707: Zen, we'll have to send you for the lab for further testing
MC: Right, right! Will there be giant hamster wheels involved?
707: Yes of course that's standard procedure hehe
These two are flirting again in that weird way, Zen grumbled to himself. And at three in the morning too. Just when he thought he was over MC choosing Seven, these thoughts come crashing in at the most inopportune time.
ZEN: ;;;
ZEN: You guys -_- I just had a nightmare okay
MC: Sorry dude hehe
MC: Wanna tell us all about it?
ZEN: …?
ZEN: MC, you never called me dude before lol
ZEN: It's weird
MC: …?
707: Duly noted
707: Disorientation in 7%
ZEN: LIKE I SAID
ZEN: I didn't take your drink, Seven
ZEN: BTW what's with your icons
ZEN: NVM I know Seven cosplays all the time but
ZEN: MC, who's that guy in your icon?
He didn't notice it at first upon logging in the messenger for the first time, but it was unmistakable. MC's profile photo was of a good-looking guy with longish hair tied in a man-bun. Familiar amber coloured eyes peered back at Zen as he stared at the screen. Meanwhile, Seven's was of himself in a fairy girl cosplay-he must have done a better job at Photoshopping it, since his face was smaller and cuter in the photo.
Automatically, Zen's reasoning took a turn for the worse.
MC: Um...;; what do u mean dude
ZEN: Did you
ZEN: get a new
MC: …?
ZEN: … I can't say it
MC: Um
MC: I've never changed my avatar, Zen
MC: Are you sure you're okay?
Zen squinted at the screen. He rubbed his eyes repeatedly. When that didn't work, he opened the lights in the kitchen and made sure that he was seeing things clearly.
Next, he looked at his calendar. It was nowhere near April 1st. Nowhere near his birthday. Unless people were being unnecessarily cruel, there was something definitely wrong…
ZEN: … you guys aren't pulling another one of your pranks are you
707: Not me
707: I'm always serious
ZEN: ;;;
ZEN: MC, you're always on my side right
ZEN: Tell me what's going on
MC: Um
MC: Me and Seven are just fooling around;;; I had a hard time sleeping and she was up too, so...
MC: and… that's it?
Jae-jin Kang has entered the chatroom
MC: Welcome, Jae-jin!
Jae-jin Kang: Good evening, everyone.
Jae-jin Kang: Or should I say, good morning.
707: Are you still in the office? Lol
Jae-jin Kang: *sigh*
Jae-jin Kang: Ms. Han thought up of another cat project on top of the cat hotels project
MC: Be strong, Jae-jin
707: What did Jina think up of this time?
707: *excited*
MC: Wait! Don't tell me! It's the Kitten Amusement Park, right?
Jae-jin Kang: ...
Jae-jin Kang: How did you know? You must be psychic, MC.
707: I may have secretly sent her an email about a cat park in the US lol
Jae-jin Kang: ... so
Jae-jin Kang: I should have known that it's your fault
707: Will my handsome Elly be the face of this new project too?!
Jae-jin Kang: Lucille…
Jae-jin Kang: I don't want to talk about cats while Zen is in the chatroom;;
Jae-jin Kang: Zen—I just glanced at the chatroom just now
Jae-jin Kang: Are you all right?
ZEN: ….
ZEN: … am I having a stroke
ZEN: Why are you all guys
Jae-jin Kang: Do we need to take you to the hospital?
ZEN: What's going on
ZEN: Jaehee, what's with that weird name
Jae-jin Kang:…
707: …
Jae-jin Kang: Um. I'm not sure who Jaehee is…?
Jae-jin Kang: Did you mean me?
MC: !
MC: You don't sound okay Zen
MC: Jae-jin! Goddess Seven! Please send an ambulance to his house!
707: I'm on it
ZEN: Wait, that's a bit;;
Jae-jin Kang: We have to make sure that you indeed are not suffering from a stroke or a seizure
Jae-jin Kang: That new role you had in Hair Gel the musical really burned you out
Jae-jin Kang: I'll contact Ms. Han as well
Jae-jin Kang: We will need her recommendation for the best neurologist to see you
Jae-jin Kang left the chatroom.
ZEN: No! I don't need that trust fund jerk
ZEN: And you guys really took this joke too far
ZEN: Good execution, especially you, Seven
ZEN: even going as far as changing the stickers
707: Ummmmmmmmmmm
707: You didn't really take the SEVENSTAR drink, did you…?
ZEN: I bet it's Jumin Han's idea isn't it
ZEN: He really wants to make an effort to make a fool outta me
MC: Hurry up, Seven!
707: Right. Gotcha.
707 left the chatroom
MC: … Zen,
MC: It's going to be okay
MC: Don't go to sleep yet okay?
MC: We're here for you
ZEN: ;;;
ZEN: I'm not dying or anything okay
ZEN: Wait, there's lights outside the room
MC: That must be the ambulance
Zen closed the messenger app and looked outside. Blue and red lights littered the night sky. He rushed to his living room. The paramedics had already made their way inside by the time he got there.
"What? You actually broke in?" he said in wonder.
"Sorry, Mr. Ryu. We are affiliated with C&R. Chief Assistant Kang gave us instructions," said the biggest of them, showing his ID. Zen was barely able to register what the ID said before he was forced to sit down on his couch. Within the next few seconds, someone was shining a light into his eyes, his blood pressure and pulses were checked in one arm, while someone else was lifting up his shirt and placing ECG leads.
"Yeah, my name's Hyun Ryu. People call me Zen. I'm 24 years old. Birthday's April 1st. It's… it's February 24, isn't it…?" Zen hated stammering, but the way the paramedic regarded him made him nervous.
"Hmm. Do you feel strange in any way, Mr. Ryu?" He scribbled a bunch of notes on a sheet of paper with a scrutinizing look on his face.
"Well… I had a nightmare, but nothing out of the ordinary. That happens from time to time." The actor thought it was best not to delve too deeply into his prophetic dreams—doctors may have no use for things like that.
"What time did you sleep? And what time did you wake up?"
"Er… around midnight up to 3 AM, I think. Look, I'm sorry for wasting your time, sir—"
"Doctor."
"Doctor, but I'm okay. I know you guys are in on it. But this prank has gone way too far. Geez, that jerk even went so far as to hire actors to get into my head!"
The doctor and the other paramedics glanced at each other with a curious look on their faces. "I assure you, Mr. Ryu, we are a real medical team. We should take you to the hospital this instant. I do not want to alarm you, but you might be having a stroke—"
"Huh? That's impossible—"
"… and we might have enough time to reverse the symptoms. We need to have you admitted and do a brain scan. Is your immediate family around?"
"No, they're not." An uneasy feeling began forming at the pit of his stomach. As he said it, he heard a speeding car screech to a halt outside his house.
"Don't worry, Dr. Lim. I'll sign all the forms necessary for Mr. Ryu."
An unfamiliar feminine voice spoke from behind the doctor. Zen wasn't able to see the source of it immediately, but it was full and rounded and almost dripping with authority. Automatically, he sat up in attention.
"Ms. Han," said the doctor, bowing respectfully.
Zen's jaw almost dropped to the floor upon looking at her. She was tall—could probably look Zen in the eye—and with her arms crossed over her chest, her figure was imposing. Her fair skin almost glowed impossibly under the yellowing light of the old fluorescent bulbs in his living room. Her long, dark hair fell like silk around her shoulders and up to the small of her back. And her eyes…
As they fell on his surprised eyes, her charcoal-black eyes regarded him with that annoyingly familiar aloof gaze.
For some reason, Zen was sure of it. Even though his head was spinning and his brain was probably dying, he was sure to the very core of his bones that this woman was Jumin Han.
"How is he?" Female Jumin asked.
"His vital signs are fine, and we do not see any focal problems as of now. He seems to have a hard time grasping the situation though. We will need an MRI to make sure that nothing's wrong."
"I see. Bring him to SoKor General. Now."
"Right away, Ms. Han."
"W-wait!" Before Zen knew it, he was lifted off his butt from the couch to an awaiting stretcher. "D-don't just strap me in here like I'm insane, you trust fund jerk!"
Female Jumin peered at him and put a delicately manicured finger to her chin. "Hm. It's usually trust fund bitch, isn't it, Zen?"
"Huh? What?"
With the same infuriatingly unaffected gaze, the woman asked him, "What's my name?"
Zen frowned. "You're… Jumin Han… aren't you…? Or at least, some woman pretending to be that jerk… Wait, could you be his sister…?"
The woman frowned. "Dr. Lim. Let's hurry up. Remember that this man is an important asset to my company. Understand?"
"Understood." The doctor nodded and barked out some other commands to the paramedics, who then proceeded to load Zen into the back of the ambulance like he was a precious crate of eggs.
She snapped her fingers in the next moment. "Assistant Kang. Contact the security service and make sure that not a word of this gets out to the local media. Contact the theatre troop as well and make sure that they don't go peeking around the hospital and asking too many questions."
A taller man clad in a dark business suit who escaped Zen's attention before stood behind Female Jumin and nodded. "Understood, Ms. Han. Zen, everything's going to be all right." As he turned around to make a hundred phone calls, the actor was able to register this Assistant Kang's light brown hair, the familiar flash of his glasses, and the silent, dignified way he carried himself.
… Jaehee's pretty good-looking as a man, he thought blankly, and Jumin is…
As soon as the ambulance drove noisily into the quiet city streets, Zen shook his head vehemently. He might be sick in the head, after all.
A/N: Shiranai Atsune's request was Zen/fem!Jumin. I've never done a genderbending fic before so this should be fun :D
Title is inspired by The Avalanche's "Because I'm Me"-I'm interested to see how to make the song fit the story lol