Zelda-style Fairy Tales
Bleachedlocks and the 3 Morons
CC: I know this idea seems really stupid, but come on, at least read this! Every chapter is a separate story. Some follow the plotline really good, and some are loosely based on the story (like this one). This is Goldilocks and the 3 Bears, by the way.
Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda :( or fairy tales :)
There was a house where 3 people lived. One was a Goron named Darunia, one was a Gerudo named Ganon, and the third was a Hylian named Link. The only thing they had in common was the fact that they were idiots.
Link: I resent that!
Fine then. They weren't idiots, they were morons.
Link: That's better.
()-.- Anyway, one morning outside of their cottage...
Rauru: Oh no! I'm lost in this thick forest! Huh? Oh, I've found the address of the 3 morons! *knocks on door*
Ganon: *opens door* Hi...person.
Rauru: I'm Rauru, and I want to be a moron!
Ganon: *looks at Rauru and his many rolls of flab* You're accepted.
Rauru: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *walks in after struggling through the doorway*
Darunia: Another member? There's only supposed to be 3 morons, but I guess we can accept you. We just made breakfast!
Darunia had hot lava rocks on his plate, Link had scrambled cucco eggs, Ganondorf had old cucco meat and Rauru had a whole smorgasboard of separate foods.
Everyone except Rauru: Oww! This food is hot!
Link: How about we go for a long walk? Maybe the food will cool down!
Everyone left right after except Rauru, who was finishing his food, gulped down some cool Lon Lon milk and ran after the other 3. Out of the forest, there was a little girl named Zelda. People called her Bleachedlocks because they accused her of having naturually brown hair, but Zelda really did have blonde hair and thought the name was stupid so no one called her that anymore. That day she ran into the forest and couldn't find her way back.
Zelda: I'm lost! Where will I stay? Oh, there's a small cottage, maybe I'll stay there! *goes inside* Ooh, I'm hungry, what should I eat? *goes to Rauru's plate which has been licked clean* Eww! This plate is gross and crummy! *goes to Ganondorf's plate* Eww! This is old cucco meat for breakfast and red hairs on it! *goes to Darunia's plate with rocks* Why do I even bother? *goes to Link's plate* Mmmm, scrambled eggs! *eats food*
After the big meal, Zelda was tired and had to sit down.
Zelda: I need to sit down. *goes to Rauru's chair* Too plush! I'm practically sinking in this chair! *goes to Ganondorf's chair* Yuck, there's blood all over it! *goes to Darunia's chair* It's cracked and too hard! Well, duh, it's made of rocks! *goes to Link's chair* Just right! *the chair breaks* Uh oh. Well, I might as well sleep!
Zelda proceeded upstairs and saw four beds.
Zelda: *goes to Rauru's bed* Its unmade and has crumbs in it! *goes to Ganondorf's bed* Whoa, this bed is weird and has red hairs on it! *goes to Darunia's bed* Ow, its made of rocks! *goes to Link's bed* Just right. *goes to sleep*
By now the 4 morons have gotten home. Big trouble...
Link: That was refreshing!
Rauru/Darunia: *panting* Speak for yourself! That was exhaustingly fast!
Ganon: You two were going so slow! If you were any slower you'd be going backwards!
Link: Me and Ganondorf had a good workout though, right?
Ganon: I WAS going a little faster, though.
Link: No way, I was much faster!
Rauru and Darunia keep Link and Ganon from fighting, then go inside for breakfast.
Rauru: Someone ate my breakfast!
Link: You ate it before we left!
Rauru: Oh.
Ganon: Someone got my cucco meat hairy!
Rauru: That's your hair.
Ganon: Oh.
Darunia: Someone got my rocks cold!
Ganon: They're still warm!
Darunia: Oh.
Link: Rauru ate all my eggs! RAURUUUUUUUUUU!
Rauru: I did?
Link: I need to sit down after that long walk!
Rauru: Someone dented my plush chair!
Link: It wouldn't have dented if it weren't so plush and you weren't so fat!
Rauru: Oh.
Ganon: Someone got my chair bloody!
Rauru: You sat in it after Link and you fought.
Ganon: Oh.
Darunia: Hey, someone cracked my chair!
Ganon: It was already cracked.
Darunia: Oh.
Link: Hey, Rauru broke my chair! RAURUUUUUUUUUU!
Rauru: I did?
Link: This sucks. I need to sleep. *everyone goes upstairs*
Rauru: My bed is crummy and unmade!
Link: That's because you eat in bed and never make it up!
Rauru: Oh.
Ganon: Hey, my bed is hairy!
Rauru: That's because you got your own hair all over it.
Ganon: Oh.
Darunia: Hey, my bed is hard and cold!
Ganon: That's because it's made of rocks!
Darunia: Oh.
Link: Good, Rauru didn't ruin my bed. Hey, someone's in my bed, and there she is now!
Ganon: Duh.
Rauru: Hey, that's my granddaughter!
Link: Rauru, you put your granddaughter in my bed! RAURUUUUUUUUUU!
Rauru: I did?
Zelda: *wakes up* Why did you wa-AGHHHHH! Who are you people? *dashes out of bed, but Rauru is blocking the doorway*
Link: How would you like to become a moron?
Zelda: There's only room for 4...
Link: I have a solution. There's only one person here who should be kicked out. He: 1. Ate my breakfast 2. Broke my chair 3. Let his granddaughter stay in my bed!
Zelda: *turns red*
Rauru: *confused look on his face*
Link: Get lost, Rauru!
Rauru: *struggles out door outside* I'm lost!
The 4 morons lived happily ever after, and no one knows where Rauru has been ever since. THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
End of story
CC: Was that bad? I need reviews! Sorry if it's bad, I just wanted to try this out.
Bleachedlocks and the 3 Morons
CC: I know this idea seems really stupid, but come on, at least read this! Every chapter is a separate story. Some follow the plotline really good, and some are loosely based on the story (like this one). This is Goldilocks and the 3 Bears, by the way.
Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda :( or fairy tales :)
There was a house where 3 people lived. One was a Goron named Darunia, one was a Gerudo named Ganon, and the third was a Hylian named Link. The only thing they had in common was the fact that they were idiots.
Link: I resent that!
Fine then. They weren't idiots, they were morons.
Link: That's better.
()-.- Anyway, one morning outside of their cottage...
Rauru: Oh no! I'm lost in this thick forest! Huh? Oh, I've found the address of the 3 morons! *knocks on door*
Ganon: *opens door* Hi...person.
Rauru: I'm Rauru, and I want to be a moron!
Ganon: *looks at Rauru and his many rolls of flab* You're accepted.
Rauru: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *walks in after struggling through the doorway*
Darunia: Another member? There's only supposed to be 3 morons, but I guess we can accept you. We just made breakfast!
Darunia had hot lava rocks on his plate, Link had scrambled cucco eggs, Ganondorf had old cucco meat and Rauru had a whole smorgasboard of separate foods.
Everyone except Rauru: Oww! This food is hot!
Link: How about we go for a long walk? Maybe the food will cool down!
Everyone left right after except Rauru, who was finishing his food, gulped down some cool Lon Lon milk and ran after the other 3. Out of the forest, there was a little girl named Zelda. People called her Bleachedlocks because they accused her of having naturually brown hair, but Zelda really did have blonde hair and thought the name was stupid so no one called her that anymore. That day she ran into the forest and couldn't find her way back.
Zelda: I'm lost! Where will I stay? Oh, there's a small cottage, maybe I'll stay there! *goes inside* Ooh, I'm hungry, what should I eat? *goes to Rauru's plate which has been licked clean* Eww! This plate is gross and crummy! *goes to Ganondorf's plate* Eww! This is old cucco meat for breakfast and red hairs on it! *goes to Darunia's plate with rocks* Why do I even bother? *goes to Link's plate* Mmmm, scrambled eggs! *eats food*
After the big meal, Zelda was tired and had to sit down.
Zelda: I need to sit down. *goes to Rauru's chair* Too plush! I'm practically sinking in this chair! *goes to Ganondorf's chair* Yuck, there's blood all over it! *goes to Darunia's chair* It's cracked and too hard! Well, duh, it's made of rocks! *goes to Link's chair* Just right! *the chair breaks* Uh oh. Well, I might as well sleep!
Zelda proceeded upstairs and saw four beds.
Zelda: *goes to Rauru's bed* Its unmade and has crumbs in it! *goes to Ganondorf's bed* Whoa, this bed is weird and has red hairs on it! *goes to Darunia's bed* Ow, its made of rocks! *goes to Link's bed* Just right. *goes to sleep*
By now the 4 morons have gotten home. Big trouble...
Link: That was refreshing!
Rauru/Darunia: *panting* Speak for yourself! That was exhaustingly fast!
Ganon: You two were going so slow! If you were any slower you'd be going backwards!
Link: Me and Ganondorf had a good workout though, right?
Ganon: I WAS going a little faster, though.
Link: No way, I was much faster!
Rauru and Darunia keep Link and Ganon from fighting, then go inside for breakfast.
Rauru: Someone ate my breakfast!
Link: You ate it before we left!
Rauru: Oh.
Ganon: Someone got my cucco meat hairy!
Rauru: That's your hair.
Ganon: Oh.
Darunia: Someone got my rocks cold!
Ganon: They're still warm!
Darunia: Oh.
Link: Rauru ate all my eggs! RAURUUUUUUUUUU!
Rauru: I did?
Link: I need to sit down after that long walk!
Rauru: Someone dented my plush chair!
Link: It wouldn't have dented if it weren't so plush and you weren't so fat!
Rauru: Oh.
Ganon: Someone got my chair bloody!
Rauru: You sat in it after Link and you fought.
Ganon: Oh.
Darunia: Hey, someone cracked my chair!
Ganon: It was already cracked.
Darunia: Oh.
Link: Hey, Rauru broke my chair! RAURUUUUUUUUUU!
Rauru: I did?
Link: This sucks. I need to sleep. *everyone goes upstairs*
Rauru: My bed is crummy and unmade!
Link: That's because you eat in bed and never make it up!
Rauru: Oh.
Ganon: Hey, my bed is hairy!
Rauru: That's because you got your own hair all over it.
Ganon: Oh.
Darunia: Hey, my bed is hard and cold!
Ganon: That's because it's made of rocks!
Darunia: Oh.
Link: Good, Rauru didn't ruin my bed. Hey, someone's in my bed, and there she is now!
Ganon: Duh.
Rauru: Hey, that's my granddaughter!
Link: Rauru, you put your granddaughter in my bed! RAURUUUUUUUUUU!
Rauru: I did?
Zelda: *wakes up* Why did you wa-AGHHHHH! Who are you people? *dashes out of bed, but Rauru is blocking the doorway*
Link: How would you like to become a moron?
Zelda: There's only room for 4...
Link: I have a solution. There's only one person here who should be kicked out. He: 1. Ate my breakfast 2. Broke my chair 3. Let his granddaughter stay in my bed!
Zelda: *turns red*
Rauru: *confused look on his face*
Link: Get lost, Rauru!
Rauru: *struggles out door outside* I'm lost!
The 4 morons lived happily ever after, and no one knows where Rauru has been ever since. THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
End of story
CC: Was that bad? I need reviews! Sorry if it's bad, I just wanted to try this out.