Let's Get Married!

Xanxus X OC, TYL, Beware foul and sexual language, Don't own KHR but you already know that..

Chapter 1: Fuck you, Lussuria

The wine-colored orbs of a certain mafia boss steadily looked up towards the small figure that was just a few steps away from him. His rough hands, hands that had made countless mafia men and women kneel and bleed, now fiddled clumsily with the tiny velvet case inside his pocket. Said mafia boss took a deep breath, adjusted his necktie, and took two brave steps forwards.

"Trash."

Xanxus, the bad-ass drunkard meat-addict Varia boss...

"Marry me."

Was going to get married.

"Marry me."

Xanxus said as he took a diamond ring from its case, holding it out. The room was silent. And then..

"CUT! That was great boss! I'm so proud of you!" Lussuria squealed as he hit a slate that read 'take 89'. Everyone in the room applauded, for the eighty-ninth time for the day.

Xanxus grunted in relief, kicking over the enormous pikachu plush doll that Lussuria gave him, as he told him to pretend it was his soon-to-be fiance. You couldn't even imagine how unbelievably difficult it was to ask a giant pikachu's hand in marriage.

"VOOOOOII! Finally!" Squalo exclaimed as he jumped off the couch, stretching.

"It's over! Ushishishishi." Bel grinned widely, genuinely delighted. He threw away the marker he was using to draw on Levi's face with Fran, relieved. They were starting to run out of ideas on what ridiculous things they would attempt to draw. Levi, oblivious to how ridiculous he looked, kept on snoring in his sleep.

Fran, stifling a yawn, took a picture of Levi's flamboyant face and posted it on Mafia Facebook. It was then when Lussuria started frowning as he looked over the recordings of the latest attempt of their boss's mock-proposal.

"Hm, maybe we could lose the trash part. Let's try again one more time, okay? This time, more nicely. You're the man, boss dear!"

"I'm not asking the fucking pikachu to marry me again, gaylord."Xanxus snarled, ripping off his necktie and throwing it to the marble floor. That thing was starting to choke him.

"Nonsense! Do you want to marry Karmen or not? I'm in charge of this marriage and it's going to be PERFECT! Now try one more time this instant ASAP!"

Everyone, including Xanxus himself, groaned as Lussuria skipped around (yes, skipped), gushing that it was going to be the most perfect and romantic proposal in the history of the Vongola. The other men around him highly doubted that. Yes, proposals were supposed to be lovely and romantic, but this one was coming from Xanxus, and stuff that comes from him is never good.

'This is going to be chaos. And that's at the least', Squalo thought, rolling his eyes. He felt sorry for the girl already.

A loud crash was heard in the distance, and the oak door burst open.

"Xanxus you little piece of shit!"

Then again, not that much. Squalo mused, as he watched a petite brunette storm in and plant a powerful kick in Xanxus's gut which he barely dodged. Xanxus growled.

"What the fuck is it now, short trash."

'Short trash' kicked again, this time hitting Xanxus's shin. The pissed off Varia boss grabbed the woman by her short hair, being careful so it wouldn't hurt her too much, and lifted her up into the air. (Yes, Xanxus does actually know how much it hurts to have your hair ripped out. Surprise, Squalo!)

"You tell me what the fuck is going on right now. Why is my wine cellar empty?" Karmen Valachi snapped at him, desperately trying to get Xanxus to drop her. Which he did immediately. Karmen was fell to the floor with a loud splat.

"You jerk, now my beautiful ass is going to get all bruised and you're responsible for it."Karmen spat, rubbing her sore butt as she got up to her feet.

"I'm sure boss has been responsible for that matter since a long time ago."Bel snickered, making Squalo look disgusted. A glass of wine was thrown towards the giggling prince, who easily dodged.

"Fuck it, answer me Xanxus. Where is my booze!"Karmen yelled again, not being able to deny Bel's words (cough cough).

"I took it away." Xanxus sneered. "You're alcohol-grounded."

Karmen raised an eyebrow. Her opal colored eyes scanned Xanxus up and down for any signs to point out that he was just messing with her. She found none.

"You didn't." Karmen gritted her teeth, feeling the urge to kill.

"Hell yeah."

"YOU-"

Xanxus smirked and promptly gave a nice smack to her behind, shutting her up instantly.

"WHAT?"

"It's still noon, boss. Save the rest for the bed." Fran drawled, and Bel laughed in his usual creepy way. Lussuria gasped and covered Fran's eyes.

"Little boys like you shouldn't be saying things like that! Go upstairs and watch Barney while the grown-ups enjoy the show!(nose-bleed)"

Squalo looked slightly uncomfortable. Bel grinned. "The little boy", he said as he gestured to the teal-haired illusionist, "Is in the mafia and slaughters hundreds almost every day."

"NOOOOOO!"

"All of you are douchebags." Karmen grumbled as she fixed her messy hair. It was then when she took a look around the room and found numerous camcorders and the giant pikachu.

"What were you dickheads doing here in the first place?" She asked, poking the yellow pokemon doll on the floor. Everyone sweatdropped.

It was then when Levi woke up from his beauty sleep and made Karmen so disturbed that she decided to stay in her room for the rest of the day. Don't even bother asking what perverted things Bel and Fran even tried to draw on the thunder guardian's face. Bel was literally rolling on the floor laughing his princely ass off.

After Karmen had gone (not forgetting to snatch a bottle of whiskey and wine from Xanxus's desk), an awkward silence filled the room as Xanxus sank down in his ornate wooden chair, massaging his temples. Well, Bel was still sniggering about how he had made Levi's nose look like a... the important part of a man's body... but never mind.

"Voi, Xanxus." Squalo said, and Xanxus's pupils slowly moved towards the silver-haired swordsman, as if he was too lazy to even look at him.

"Are you serious about this... getting married?"

Xanxus said nothing, then closed his eyes again.

"With her?"

Before Xanxus could do anything, Lussuria cut in, yelling into his microphone.

"Of course he is, silly Squalo! Now get up all of you, especially you boss! We have a lot of practice to do! PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!"

Everyone grumbled. Again.

Fuck you, Lussuria.

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