Hey look another one! all mistakes are mine! If anyone is interested in being a beta please let me know :D
Killing wasn't something Gideon enjoyed one bit. No matter how much he had done it up to this point. Each opponent struck down, minus those of demonic origin, chipped at his soul little by little. So, he found solace in what he could. And for some reason hunting and foraging calmed him. Maybe it was a time he could be by himself. A way to escape the chatter and expectation of his companions. A time to simply be Gideon Trevelyan, the youngest of a noble family, who was a great disappointment to his parents. He longed for the days when all he had to worry about was what town and tavern to visit next. The simple life. Now, Gideon had armies to command and life shattering decisions to make.
Satisfied he had gathered enough food for the journey back to Skyhold, Gideon shouldered his hunting bow, picked up his pack, and started back towards the small camp. Hopefully, he had given Cassandra enough space. Regardless, he left her for far too long by herself. They had no protection of Inquisition scouts or even their companions. They rushed away from Skyhold so fast they neglected to inform anyone of their destination. So, if something was too happen they'd be on their own. Gideon wished their little quest for Cassandra's answers about the Seekers led them to a better conclusion.
The Inquisitor stopped before entering their small camp. It consisted of two bed rolls and a fire only big enough to keep them warm and cook small game and hopefully small enough to go undetected by anyone traveling. Cassandra sat close to the flames, a piece of parchment on her lap. Something was very wrong. Though it wasn't unusual for the Seeker to stay up to write reports about the day excursions. This was different. Her eyes were fixed on the space in front of her, dark orbs flickering with the dancing flames and unfocused. The hand that held the writing tool shook so violently it was nearly slipping out of her grip. And if that wasn't bad enough, Cassandra's face was bone pale.
"Cassandra." After relieving himself of his bow and supplies, Gideon cautiously approached the warrior. "Cassandra?"
No answer. She just continued to stare ahead, unblinking.
Kneeling down in front of her should have snapped her out of her trance. Cassandra was known for her vigilance. "Cassie?" The nickname reached her enough to at least get her to blink. Gideon carefully pried the writing tool from her fingers. His touch seemed to do the rest.
Like coming out of a deep slumber, Cassandra focused on the Inquisitor's worried face. The fire popped, the wind whistled, and an owl hooted just above them. The world turned, but all that seemed to matter was the man's large and calloused hands warming her skin far more than any fire ever could. Maker, if she knew what was best, she'd pull away and put as much distance as she could between them. "Inquisitor?"
Upon glancing down, Gideon found Cassandra managed to write one thing down. His stomach tightened, "W-what are you doing?"
She looked down, emotions clogging her voice when she managed to speak. "I'm writing to Daniel's family. They deserve to know what happened to him." Cassandra was unaware of her own tears until Gideon cupped her cheek to wipe them away with the pad of his thumb. "I don't know what to write."
Seeing her tears, her grief, her looking so lost tore at Gideon's soul. Like that night in Haven, he just wanted it to stop. He wanted to chase away the sadness and make her smile again. Desperate, Gideon pulled her against his chest to rock her in his arms. It felt like the only thing to do. No words could be spoken to help make sense of the turmoil raging inside her. Somehow saying something about the 'Maker's will' would be the last thing she wanted to hear. No matter how strong her faith appeared to be because he knew that on the inside it was shaken.
For once, Cassandra didn't fight him. Didn't fight the fact that she needed comfort. Needed his comfort. And not just because he was the only one within a mile radius. There was something about this man. This wonderful, charming, handsome man that had her heart beating a little bit faster. That made her feel uneven and unsure of herself. Somehow, Gideon knew the perfect way to comfort her. So instead of resisting, Cassandra buried her face in his throat and let her tears fall without fearing he would think her weak.
Gideon felt one of her hands bunch in the front of his tunic while the fingers of her other dug into the small of his back. Shifting until he was comfortable on the ground and with the Seeker in his lap, Gideon rubbed a soothing hand up and down her spine. They'd made a lot of progress since that night in Haven. Maker that felt like a lifetime ago. Since then, they found their rhythm with one another though he tried whenever he could to throw her off balance with his flirting. They were so in tune with one another, making them a force to be reckoned with on the battle field. Back at Skyhold, it was rare to see one without the other. Gideon spent most of his time sparring in the courtyard with Cassandra, making battle plans, and sharing nearly every meal together. Something he swore to everyone up and down was just a coincidence, nothing more.
Somewhere in between all that, Gideon found himself becoming fond of the Seeker? Fond? He nearly scoffed at his own thought. Who was he kidding? He'd fallen for her hook, line, and sinker. Being close to her like this was something he thought of often. The only time he would even come remotely close was during their session. Holding her, feeling her breath on his neck and her fingers dig into his skin, brought some muddled memories of the night Corypheus attacked Haven. Memories that Gideon couldn't figure out if they were true. Maker knows this wasn't appropriate with Cassandra sobbing in his arms, struggling to make sense of life altering events. Memories of her bare flesh pressed against his, sharing body heat to bring him back from the brink of death.
Soon, Cassandra cried all the tears she could for the loss of Daniel, the Seekers, and everything else that she lost in this damn world. She made no attempt to distance herself from the Inquisitor's warm and strong embrace. Didn't want to. Just like she didn't put much thought into when Gideon ditched his armor. The Seeker found herself grateful for its absence. She liked the feel of his hard chest against her cheek, his heart being in her ears. The last time they'd been this close, Gideon was disorientated and battling a raging fever that left him delusional. He never brought it up being the gentlemen he was and Cassandra found herself grateful. Thinking about it left her flushed. Just as well anyways, there was no way that a man like Gideon Trevelyan could ever be interested in such a brash and overbearing woman like her.
"I know the Seekers were your family." Gideon drew her away and brushed his knuckles along her scarred cheek to wipe away any stray tears. "But they're not the only one you have. The Inquisition is your family now. Skyhold is your home and it's filled with people." And me, he almost added. "-who care about you."
Emotions clogged her throat, leaving her with the inability to speak. For Andraste's sake, in her search for the truth, she overlooked the place she belonged to all along. The Inquisition was her purpose now. And the people that formed it were indeed her family. Even Sera and Varric.
He caught her gaze flickering, only for a fraction of a moment, to his mouth. Those dark eyes he loved so much filled with desire. She made no attempt to mask it. He could kiss her. Here and now in the middle of the night next to the crackling fire. And she would let him in her distraught frame of mind. Oh how he ached to press his lips to hers to finally figure out if she tasted like she did in his dream. That would be taking advantage of her. If Cassandra wanted to be with him then there will be with no chance of regret in the morning. Most importantly, the Seeker deserved better. Deserved to be romanced and loved.
Feeling his body change and react to her closeness pressing into her hip, Cassandra shyly looked away before sliding off his lap. She couldn't deny to herself or the Maker that she missed the feel his arms around her. Her mind tried to rationalize the Inquisitor's arousal. A man sometimes wasn't in control of his own body. Maybe it had been sometime since he last was with a woman.
"I...umm..." She glanced at the small game he dropped on the other side of the fire, "I'll cook if you skin."
"Okay." His voice squeaked and he felt the tips of his ears burn. Clearing his throat, he tried again, "Okay."
"Thank you, Gideon." The use of his first name had the Herald looking up in surprise, "You came with me on a moment's notice without asking a single question. I-I don't think I could have handled finding Daniel-finding everything. Alone."
A wide smile crossed his face, "Family, remember?"
0o0o0o0o0o0o
The sight of Skyhold brought tears to her eyes. Three days. They'd been gone for only three days and she missed the place like it's been three months. She didn't just miss the safety of the walls and the comfort of her bed. By Andraste, Cassandra missed the people who inhabited the keep. She missed playing with the children as they played with their toy swords. Missed her time she spent in the garden with Mother Giselle. Missed escaping to the loft of the forge to secretly read her books. Most of all, she missed those that Gideon kindly reminded her were her family.
Following Gideon, Cassandra slipped off her horse pausing with the reins in her hands at the Inquisitor's hiss of pain. "What is it?"
Gideon struggled to mask his features. A very hard thing to do when it felt like a dragon was breathing fire up his arm. "Nothing."
"Liar." The Seeker grumbled, marching up to the man, a set look of determination on her face that made most give in. It seemed the man was immune. Cassandra's gaze flickered to his shield arm that he was hugging close to his body. "Let me see it, Trevelyan."
Stubbornness mixed in with a bit of manly pride kept Gideon from complying. He tried to move past only for her to take the reins of his horse to stop him. "Cassandra, I'm too tired for this."
"Then let me see it, Herald." The man caved and offered his arm. Carefully, Cassandra peeled the sleeve of his tunic the best she could with her armor still in place to reveal a deep gash along his forearm. The bandage, barely covering the wound, had been hastily applied and desperate need of redressing. "Why didn't you tell me you were hurt? How deep is it? Did you clean it?"
"Why, my Lady…" No matter how hard he tried, Gideon couldn't stop a huge smile from appearing on his face. "Do I detect concern for my well being?"
Maker help her, his smile was breathtaking, making an ache grow in her heart for things she could not have. With a disgruntled groan, Cassandra half heartedly pushed at his chest and abandoned him when he lost his footing and fell on his ass.
For a moment, Gideon cursed himself for retreating to his sarcasm by making fun of the situation. Then he saw the slight curve of her lips as she looked back to check on him. That smile, the one she would get when trying to fight it, was worth it all.
"I'm okay." Gideon soothed his horse gently running behind the mare's ear after the steed nipped at his shoulder. He was far more than okay. In fact, Gideon felt like he could take on an archdemon with his bare hands because he was falling in love with an incredible woman. Now he just had to get her to see his intentions towards her surpassed friendship.
By mid afternoon, Cassandra found herself leaning against the war table staring at the map spread out across the top. A much needed break from the riveting and emotional conversation she had with Trevelyan just after they returned. Her faith had been shaken nearly to the point of shattering. All she knew had been a lie. The Seekers were the reason for all the death and destruction around them. The order's actions led to the mages' desperation resulting in the Kirkwall explosion and the rebellion. All her faith and devotion over the years to the Seekers did not stand for what she thought.
When Gideon found her, mulling over the pages of the books, she was on the verge of dismissing the organization. To let their sins destroy it all. He convinced her-no, believed that the Seekers were worth rebuilding and he believed that she could be the one to do it. Rebuild and make them better. Gideon's faith in her made Cassandra feel like she could do anything.
"Planning troop movements, my Lady?" Gideon asked, approaching with a smile. He ached to soothe away the knot in her brow.
"Trying to imagine what it will look like when we are done." She glanced up, lost in the joy on his face. Joy for seeing her, perhaps? No, that couldn't be it. "I wonder what the Maker has in store for us next."
Gideon was glad to see her faith wasn't completely broken. "No ideas of your own?"
Oh she had plenty, but that didn't mean that anyone else would see it as that. Cassandra told him her ideas for the Chantry. For tradition. For the future. And he listened without judgment. That's what made it so easy for people to talk to him. It's one of the many parts that made him a great leader. A great man. "And I don't know if wanting any of these things is right."
Gideon found himself swept up in her passion and the way her face lit up with it. Maker, she was so beautiful. He flexed his hands at his side in hopes to stop himself from touching her. "They're certainly admirable goals."
She lifted a brow, "Some would call that heresy, Trevelyan."
"Didn't sound like the rantings of a lunatic to me, Cassandra."
The Seeker stalked to the open window looking out at the beautiful gardens. With so much uncertainty ahead of them, it truly didn't matter what her plans were. In the end, it wouldn't be her changing and shaping the future of Thedas. That would be the man behind her looking at her with his soft gray eyes. "Every day you make decisions that shake the world. Yet always so assured. I wish I had your confidence."
Gideon struggled to find any of his thoughts coherent enough to actually form into words. So, he did what he always did and reverted to making light of the situation. "Almost sounds like you admire me."
She looked him straight in the eyes, "I absolutely do." The confession stopped the Herald in his tracks, emotions flashing across his handsome face. Her fingers ached to run over the thin beard along his jaw. Gideon filled out nicely since that day she faced him in the cell. He looked hardier with his long hair and new facial scars acquired sometimes in the last month or so. The growing beard added nicely to the whole ruggedly handsome thing he had going for him. "I don't always agree with your decisions, but how many could do what you have? You were a prisoner. Accused and reviled. Yet, you've emerged from every trail victorious. The Maker's grace does not make you immortal. You live and die by your own hand. That is worthy of admiration."
She believed in him. Gideon felt like a lovesick adolescent and wanted to shout it from the battlement. All this time, Cassandra believed in him and his ability to end all of this chaos. She believed that he could help bring a bit of peace to Thedas. And knowing that, knowing she believed in him, Gideon knew that he could do anything and everything.
"If anything," Gideon finally found his voice, "guides me, it's you."
Cassandra did her best to cover her gasp of surprise by turning it into a scoff, "Great. The blind leading the blind." Oh Maker, was he- oh he was. Cassandra felt his hands grip hers in a loving and gentle grasp. Her throat tightened at the way his thumb ran over her knuckles. Even through the thick material of her gloves, the Seeker could feel the heat radiating from his skin.
"I don't think you're blind." His voice was soft and full of emotions.
She begged to differ. Either she had to be or better yet maybe it was him with the terrible eyesight. Because there was no way that those gray orbs, so full of admiration and affection, could be directed at her. Right? "Clearly, you haven't been paying attention."
His gaze darkened, his body shifting closer. Could she see it now? See how much he wanted to be with her. How much her belief and admiration meant to him? "Haven't I?"
Carefully, Cassandra slipped her hands from him and retreated a step or two. There had to be some misinterpretation here. He couldn't feel something for her. Right? "When we first met, if someone told me I would be pleased to have you to lead me. I would have throttled them."
"No doubt," Gideon chuckled letting her have her space. He would wait a few days to let the turmoil their latest quest stirred up to settle and then he would pressure Cassandra with romantic interest.
"But I am." Her lips curved into a soft smile, "The Maker chose well."
"I don't know if I deserve that." He rubbed the back of his neck. A nervous habit he picked up from Cullen. "Who knows where I might lead us."
"We still have a long way to travel, Trevelyan. Wherever it takes us, I'm glad you're here."
"Cassandra." His voice stopped her before she could get to the door. "I'm glad you're here too."
Cheeks burning, Cassandra nodded before slipping out of the room.
My goal was to make it so this transitions into time to clear the air. Tell me what you thought!