Chapter One

The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes

James was having trouble concentrating on his homework.

Not because it was Transfiguration-- which, if he said so himself, he was quite good at-- and not because it was particularly hard. And not, for once, because Sirius was bothering him (he was quite alone at the moment). It was, in fact, because Lily Evans was sitting directly in his line of sight.

She was doing her homework as well, seated alone at a table on the opposite side of the room. And James had no doubt that she was aware that he was watching her and was teasing him because of it. Why else would she keep throwing back that glorious mane of hair so it caught the firelight and shimmered just so? Why else would she keep biting her bottom lip in that coquettishly thoughtful way? No, she knew full well that he was staring at her, and flaunting what he couldn't have.

The wily vixen.

"Oh, fairest Lily!" cried a sudden voice from behind James. He craned his neck around the back of his armchair to see Sirius, who had apparently just descended from the dormitory stairs. He had a hand flung up to his forehead in a melodramatic gesture, and wore a mournful expression. Peter and Remus were hovering behind him, looking highly amused. "How thy hair dost shine! How thy eyes of emerald doth pierce a man's soul! How thy beauty dost driveth men wild, particularly a certain bespectacled youth whose pining doth maketh me vaguely nauseous!"

James threw a cushion at his head. He ducked, grinning wickedly, and it hit Remus in the face. "Sorry, Moony," James said.

"Quite all right," he murmured dryly in reply, as the three of them made themselves comfortable on a nearby couch. "I've often felt like throwing much larger and heavier objects at him."

Sirius gave Remus a wounded expression. "You don't mean that, do you?"

"Of course he does," Peter piped up with a grin. "You can't tell us you don't realize how obnoxious you are."

"I am not obnoxious! I am charming and huggable. Which is more than I can say for Prongs, here," he added, casting a glance at James from under his mussed, dark hair. "He's been chasing the same girl for over two years, now, and she certainly doesn't seem to have any inclination to hug him. Not a very skilled Chaser at all, if you ask me."

"Oh, shut up," James muttered, glaring darkly at Sirius, and throwing in Remus and Peter for good measure. "She's going to give in soon. I can feel it, I can."

"Oh, she is not," Peter said dismissively. He turned to watch Lily for a moment. "You've asked her out once a day since fourth year and she's turned you down every last time."

"Yeah, but this morning at breakfast, she hesitated a bit before she said no."

"That was because her mouth was full and she had to stop to swallow," Remus pointed out. "She might not like you very much, but I doubt she wanted to spray you with English muffin."

"Well, then, there you go!" James announced triumphantly. "She doesn't hate me."

"Not enough to spray you with half-chewed foodstuffs?" Remus asked, raising a single slender eyebrow. James hated it when he did that.

"Yes," he replied staunchly. "See? We're making progress. I knew that the two of us being Head Boy and Girl together would help."

"Why do you like her so much, anyway?" Peter asked.

"Because she challenges him," Remus answered immediately, and James nodded slowly.

"I suppose that's it. Of course, it's also that she's gorgeous and smart and athletic and fiery and..." He trailed off with a small whimper.

Sirius abruptly laughed, and the other three turned to him, James realizing that Sirius had lapsed into uncharacteristic silence through the latter part of their conversation. The look on his face made James' heart sink; it was a look he was well used to, the look that said Sirius was planning something. The look that usually sent any nearby students edging hurriedly away. Normally, James would be well up for anything Sirius suggested, but if this had anything to do with Lily...

"I've decided," Sirius said.

They stared. "You've decided... what?" Peter finally said.

"That Prongs is utterly hopeless when it comes to the sacred art of the mating dance. Thus, I hereby proclaim myself his Authorized Romantic Supervisor Extraordinaire."

There was a moment of silence. Then Remus spoke. "His... ARSE?"

There was another pause while Sirius appeared to consider this. "Yeah, let's make that Official Romantic Advisor. Or something that can be abbreviated to "HOT STUFF."

Peter and Remus began to immediately try to figure out what could possibly be abbreviated to that, but James quickly interrupted them. "Wait. What are you talking about, Sirius?"

Sirius drew himself up importantly, puffing out his chest. "Well, as you may or may not have noticed, I have a certain... flair... when it comes to the ladies."

"Says the bloke who's never had a girlfriend," James grumbled. Yet, Sirius was right. He did have a way about the girls in the school. He flirted shamelessly with everyone-- even, on one memorable occasion, Professor McGonagall-- and he seemed able to set anyone of the female persuasion blushing-- even, on that memorable occasion, Professor McGonagall. Oh, sure, she'd been all business and told him to wipe that fool grin off his face before she did it for him, but she had definitely been pink-cheeked.

Sirius seemed to follow his line of thought, and smiled grimly. "Exactly. So I've decided to step in and guide you and the lovely Miss Evans together. With, of course, the help of my sidekicks." He beamed and put his arms around Remus and Peter's shoulders. Peter looked excited, and Remus resigned.

James, on the other hand, felt a deep sense of foreboding. "How exactly would you... 'guide' us together?"

"Well, Prongs, old mate, I hate to tell you this, but the reason that Evans doesn't want anything to do with you is the fact that she thinks you're a... how do I put this kindly...?" Sirius scrunched his face up thoughtfully, and then shrugged. "Well, she thinks you're an egotistical prat."

Remus eyed him. "How do you know that?"

"She told me."

"Oh."

James' mouth had dropped open. "But... But I'm not," he protested weakly.

"We know you aren't," said Remus, "but you certainly used to give off that impression. I mean, no offense, Prongs, but Lily really doesn't have any reason to see you as anything but an arrogant bully." He winced, as if it hurt him to have to say that about his friend.

Instead of protesting, James sank further back into his armchair, staring glumly at Lily. She had her chin in her hand and was looking off into the distance, evidently daydreaming. She was absolutely lovely. "Fine then, Padfoot. What do you think I should do?" he murmured wearily.

"Well, let's see." Sirius rubbed his chin, obviously reveling in having his advice asked about anything. After a moment, a decisive grin spread across his face. "Tell me, have you ever heard of The Beatles?"

Three blank faces greeted those words. "Beetles?" Peter said, his voice bewildered.

"Not beetles, The Beatles," Sirius replied with a roll of his eyes. "They're a really popular Muggle band."

Ahh. James would have grinned if he weren't feeling so apprehensive at the moment. Sirius had developed a penchant for Muggle pop culture just to irritate his strict, pure-blood parents. Though he'd moved out since then, he still evidently kept up with it.

"Okay, so what about them? What do they have to do with Lily?"

"Just this." Sirius leaned in conspiratorially, and, in spite of himself, James leaned in as well. "Girls are really suckers for romance, right? Well, I thought maybe we could..." As he went on, James felt his heart sink. No way would this work.

* * * * *

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this, Padfoot," James said, for the three-hundred and thirty-seventh time. Or at least that was what it felt like.

"Stop worrying, it'll go over great! Trust me-- Ow! Peter, you stepped on my foot!"

"Quiet!" Remus hissed. They all fell silent.

The four of them were currently squeezed under James' Invisibility Cloak, moving slowly through the darkened halls of Hogwarts. James, personally, was beginning to wonder whether not speaking would make any difference-- to him, they sounded like a herd of elephants, awkwardly shuffling the way they had to.

By some miracle, though, they managed to make it through the Entrance Hall, out the heavy doors, and into the chill autumn night. James shivered as they threw off the Invisibility Cloak and made for the broom shed, and he didn't think it was entirely due to the cold. This was so stupid. He'd be humiliated.

He was startled out of his downward spiral of misery by Peter handing him his Cleansweep. Together, they mounted their broomsticks. Sirius looked positively giddy. Sure, it's fine for him, James thought sourly. Even if it doesn't work, he's just going to find the whole thing funny.

"Ready?" Sirius asked quietly.

Remus and Peter nodded. James shook his head, which Sirius ignored. "Off we go, then." And with that, Sirius took off like an arrow, Remus and Peter close behind, towards Gryffindor Tower. After a moment, James followed. I will never forgive Sirius for this.

Oddly enough, soaring through the air like this, the wind ruffling his hair and making him wince even with his glasses, was so familiar and comfortable that James felt himself calm down slightly. It wasn't a big deal, really. Either Lily would be swept off her feet, or utterly disdainful. And she was already that towards him, so this couldn't make things any worse, could it?

They slowed to a hover outside a brightly-lit window of Gryffindor Tower. Faintly, he could hear voices from within. Sirius glanced at James and nodded towards it, grinning with anticipation. "Go ahead, Prongs."

James took a deep breath and glided forwards a foot to rap insistently on the window. The low murmur of voices inside cut off, then started again, this time with a hint of curiosity and perhaps anxiousness in them. After a pause, the curtains were drawn back and James stared straight into Lily's face through the windowpane.

He offered a feeble smile.

She violently wrenched the curtains closed again.

"Well, that didn't go over too well," Sirius remarked.

The curtains were drawn back again, and this time it was another girl on the other side of the window, one of Lily's dorm mates, Wendy. She stared for a moment, and then bemusedly opened the window. "What on earth are you four doing?" she whispered, blinking curiously. The other girls-- except for Lily-- crowded around the window as well, seeming to have come over quite suddenly giggly. James cleared his throat; He could see Lily in the room behind them, sitting with her face in her hands.

"I have come," he announced loudly, using the words Sirius had prepared for him, "with my backup--" he gestured towards the other three, hovering behind him-- "to serenade the lovely Miss Evans."

There was a fresh round of giggling, punctuated by Lily's groan.

James took another deep breath. No turning back now. Timidly, he began. "Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies..."

The girls stifled their giggles to listen intently. Lily had even, in spite of herself it seemed, removed her face from her hands and was watching expressionlessly. James felt his confidence increase. He'd never much thought about whether or not he had a good singing voice before, but apparently he did-- Wendy even had a slightly dreamy look on her face.

Finally, he reached the chorus, and his backup singers joined in, Peter and Remus mumbling, Sirius practically shouting with gusto: "Lily in the sky, with di-i-amonds!"

Lily gave an even louder groan at this, and buried her rapidly-reddening face in a pillow. But if Lily's face was red, it was nothing to how James' felt. Still, he bravely forged on in the song until it was complete. "The girl with kaleidoscope eyyyes..."

Finally, it was complete. Sirius managed to bow on his broomstick, and a glance over his shoulder told James that even Remus and Peter had enjoyed themselves highly. He, however, felt it would be quite nice at the moment if Voldemort appeared to kill him off.

He didn't.

"That was really romantic," one of the girls giggled, and turned to glare at Lily. "Come on, Lily! You can't be upset over that!"

Lily slowly stood and strode over to the window. James watched, his heart thundering in his ears, and tried to swallow.

"That was beyond humiliating," she said. "I can't believe you snuck out there to sing to me, of all things. You could get us in trouble, too, you know. Good night." And with that, she savagely slammed the window shut and jerked the curtains closed again.

James stared at it forlornly.

"Bad luck, Prongs," Peter murmured. Remus clapped him sympathetically on the shoulder.

"That was fun," said Sirius.

"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed.

Hearing this, not to mention seeing what was an undoubtedly a very ugly expression on James' face, he quickly added, "No-- I mean, I'm really sorry and everything, of course. But you have to admit, it was kind of fun."

As the Marauders glided back to the earth, James found he had to grudgingly agree. It wasn't as if he was any worse off with her, really, and it had certainly been an... experience. They landed and started to trek back over the lawns towards the broom shed, but--

"Well, now. What do we have here, my sweet?" James stared into the malevolently triumphant face of Argus Filch.