Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan. The right belongs to Aoyama Gosho and any rightful owners. I do not make profit writing this fiction.

Warning: no warning

Known pairing(s): a light Conan/Ai

Author's Note: This is my third fiction in Detective Conan. As the problems in real life were attacking me in this moment, I needed to find something that I could be relaxed with. And the answer was writing the fiction! I had always been so happy in writing them.

Just in case that this fiction may have the similar plot to other stories which it wasn't my intention to do it; If the plot was too similar to which story that you think I should remove my fiction, please tell me and I will consider removing this fiction. I do not want and will never want to copy anyone's fiction or idea.

Living with a Reality

Detective Conan Fanfiction

By: furin-a

There was a time when Edogawa Conan though back to his old life as Kudo Shinichi. He should go to high school with his childhood friend, Mouri Ran, and her best friend, Suzuki Sonoko. He should play football in school's football club. He should be able to solve the job by his old self, not caring about the dangerous situation when people especially his enemy discovered about him.

Right now, he was in elementary school, struck as the kid in everyone's eyes. He went to school with a gang of Detective Boys; Kojima, Genta – the boss of the gang, Yoshida Ayumi – the kind girl who always worried about her friends, Tsuburaya Mitsuhiko – the boy who always had a knowledge and the courage when it was about his friends, and Haibara Ai – the de-aged scientist who caused the major problem in his life and ice queen in the school.

Haibara Ai…

Still was the mysterious girl who he could never solve her completely.

"I really can't understand about you!" he really wanted to shout,

But he knew she would smirk at him and it would annoy him very much.

For Haibara, she closed her heart to the world due to her cruel past and life in one of the darkest organizations in the world. She grew up too fast for her age. Being the scientist who created the drug that might kill thousands lives to complete, he used to have some gruesome with her.

At least, that was what he did when he had met her for the first time.

Living with Haibara as the kids made her more readable to him. She slowly opened her heart to people around her with their warming and gentle that they gave her. The cold heart that looked like she cared none was the shield to her softness.

He used to think of this life as some curses.

But everything was almost the same to him. As Edogawa Conan, he met new friends in the form of the kinds who gave him some happiness. He still was able to talk to Ran through Agase's inventions or indirectly as Conan. He could go to school and play football with his new friends. He solved the cases by using Mouri Kogoro's voice. Maybe it was not his own voice, but there was nothing different from the past. He could still help the polices to catch the murderers. The justice was served to them. The only thing that he did not get was the frame but he (at least he thought that he was) was not a detective to get the frame. Sherlock Holmes was his idol and he wanted to be like him. He just loved solving the cases and mystery.

Furthermore, he still had his parents to comfort him in the time of need. He grew up like a normal teenager who could go to school and live his life in the way that he wanted it.

But she had none. She had no family or friend left. It she had, she had never told him about that.

Nevertheless, he was…jealous of her.

Yeah, sometimes…no, in the rare time, he would be jealous of her.

She did not have to worry about her family if there was something bad going to happen to them. She lived like tomorrow would be just like yesterday. She did not have to worry about her future as she thought she would not have one and she saw nothing in her future. Every day to her was just time passing. There was nothing special for her to care.

This sounded very crazy but he liked the way she lived with no pressure.

His world was like in the darkness. He saw dangerous every corner to his friends and family. He worried what would be happened to Agase or Ran some days. His parents were far away but it did not mean that he did not worry or think about them.

If he told her, he was jealous of her.

She would laugh darkly and told him that, "The Great Detective is jealous of me? That should make me laugh. Really, what is it in me that make you jealous of me, Kudo-kun? I should be the one who is jealous of you. You have family and everything but I have none."

"I don't know. Like how you live without any worry?"

"I have…as you know that I'm afraid that the organization will find me and kill me." She sighed a bit – well, he rarely saw her sighing like that. "Your reckless always attract troubles to yourself. I'm afraid that it'll cause me a problem."

And she would say something like he was stupid to think of crazy thing like that.

But he thought he was not stupid. He later realized that he just wanted to find a reason to run away. Haibara's world was the great reason for him to run away from his own too.

On the other hand, he did not want her world.

To think about that, she was always worried about them finding her and killing her. She was sure afraid of the death sometimes. At least, he thought she did as he could not find any reason to support her fear in the Black people.

"I really don't want to cause a problem. I just want the justice -"

"Have you ever thought that the justice might sometimes harm people too?"

He would be confused to that, "what was that supposed to mean?"

"It means the side effect, Kudo-kun. You caught the murderer so what? What'll happen if they link with the high authority? If something happens like Mouri-san is hurt because of your justice, what'll you do?"

"What do you want me to do?! Leave those murderers free or alone?" He shouted back.

"Well, there's a police to catch them, right? Like the event with Gin's car, why don't let someone else handle it?" She shrugged her shoulder.

"Like who?"

"How should I know?"

She really did not know the solution too. She just hoped that something bad would never be forced on her. She was not brave but she just had a sense to survive. No, her way, in ethical way, was worse than him. She would let other be hurt instead of herself.

That was why he knew he was stupid to be jealous of her who had almost nothing.

But something the pressure was too much that he wanted to run from everything.

And when he was about to run from everything, thinking about Haibara's world always showed him the good side of his life. She showed him that the pressure from having so many things to worry was better than having none and feeling like you were living alone in the world. She did not have to be alone but she just wanted her world to be alone. She was afraid to hurt other people so she destroyed, sinned and tortured herself instead. That world was too scary to everyone even he himself did not want that world.

So Haibara, who could still live in that world, was very strong indeed.

But by living in that world, it did not mean that she did not care. She cared and when she showed it, her life was not matter if it could save someone. But mostly, she did not care whether she was alive as she showed him many times that she could sacrifice herself to save people – many times that he started to be worried about her.

That was why he swore himself to protect her.

She, who did not want to save herself if others would be hurt, needed someone to save her.

"I don't have to run away. You'll protect me, right?" asked Haibara.

That question showed that she gave some trust in him and he was grateful for it.

Rarely that Haibara would trust someone, she now did him.

He smiled lightly.

Now, he could open a bit of her heart to the world.

"Really, Edogawa-kun? What happens with you today?" asked the girl as she carried the backpack on her bag.

Conon just suddenly realized that he was standing in front of Agase's house.

"Err…"

"Are you going to pick me up?" She smirked but he knew she was annoyed that he thought she was a kid that he had to take care all the time. "Why, that's very nice of you, oh-great detective."

Maybe if she stopped scorning at him, he would like her more…

But that would not be Haibara Ai that he had known.

"Just consider it as the weird day. I didn't want to walk here but I felt like I was allured by something," muttered Conan.

"Oh, really? Maybe by my dark magic. You fell for that so easily," giggled the girl.

"Shut up, will you?"

She smirked and started walking to the school.

Really, that girl would never be a nice girl.

"Edogawa-kun, if you don't want to be late, you should start walking now."

"Oi, wait for me, Haibara!"

Well, maybe it was not that bad after all.

He had already accepted her as she was for a while. As he knew that if he did not, he would not bother to worry about her at all.

He might dream about his old life but right now, he could live in this life too. Everything was the same, as you just needed to change how you look at it.

And Haibara would always be Haibara.

She would continue to remind him again and again that today was real and tomorrow was something he could not predict.

And, all he needed to do was accepting it and trying to live with a reality.

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep,

because reality is finally better than your dreams."

― Dr. Seuss

++ FIN ++

Author's Note: About my other story, I'll try to update it but right now, the plot is quite out of my mind. I need to collect my idea and put it in the one plot again as I don't want my fiction to be such a mess. Please give me sometimes for them. I just let you know that I've never abandoned my fiction and I won't start now.