Virtual

by AuraFighter23

The death game Sword Art Online has trapped millions of players inside with the only way to exit is to go through all 100 floors and defeat the bosses that reside in each. If that was not bad enough, dying in the game means death in the real world. Some aspects of Log Horizon are used. Disclaimer: I do NOT own SAO or Log Horizon. I only own my OC's. Rated T for language.

1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

A New Virtual World

AN: This is my try at a new, non Pokémon, story. This story mainly follows the SAO plot line with different characters and bosses as well as some changes to the overall plot. Both minor changes and major changes. The story is takes place in the US because that's the country I am most familiar with. It also takes the classes and sub-classes from Log Horizon, meaning magic and archery are included in this story. The majority of the skills and spells are of my own creations. Also, I am still planning on adding new chapters in Resistance and the next season of Team Stardust will still come out at the end of December. Now, without further adieu, the first chapter of "Virtual".

April 23rd, almost seven years ago. That was the day it all started. The day that I and thousands of other people became trapped in the death game. My name is DJ. It's not my real name, but it's the name I go by. I'm a male of the age of 17 years old, I live in Ohio, and I'm a survivor of the death game, Sword Art Online. My psychologist told me that writing about the events that unfolded will help me move on. I guess I'll start from the beginning.

April 23rd. 2022

"... and when you square two hundred and sixty by X you get a value of seven. To get this you have to..." Ms. Krane said. She was a fairly elderly women with pale skin, gray eyes, and graying brown hair pulled back into a tight bun. She war a lavender button up shirt with a long black skirt. She was very strict and also had the uncanny ability to put almost everyone to sleep.

I yawned, resting my head on my open palm, fighting to keep my eyes open. I glanced at the clock and I was elated to see that there were five minutes left in class. I silently cheered and turned my attention back to Ms. Krane, not wanting to give her an excuse to hold me any longer than necessary. This was my last class of the day and I wanted to get home to play it.

At long last the final bell rang and the whole class and I bolted towards the door. "Don't forget we will have a test over the material we covered today on Monday!" Ms. Krane called to our retreating backs.

I quickly said made my way around the scores of people that lined the hallway, chatting with their friends. I personally did not have that many friends. Sure, I had a few people that I talked to and sat with at lunch, but I did not have anyone close. I left all my close friends behind when I moved here last year from Nashville, Tennessee. I still keep in contact with them, but I still miss them.

I exited the school and preceded to walk back home. I live only a few minutes away from the school, meaning that school buses did not stop at my house. I hated winter for that reason.

I live with my mother in an average two story home. My sister used to be there, but she is currently enrolled in college and she lived on campus. My father died when I was really young so it has always been the three of us. It got annoying at times, living in a home where I was the only guy in the house, but I got used to it after a while.

When I got home I did not see my mom's car in the driveway. I remembered that she said that she was picking my sister, who was visiting for the weekend, up from the airport after she got off of work, so I would be home alone until about eight. Plenty of time to get started.

I unlocked the front door, kicked off my shoes, and climbed the stairs towards my room. I entered my room and let out a long sigh as I set my backpack down and looked around my room. My walls were painted blue, my second favorite color. There was one bed, a desk, complete with a lamp, computer, and a gray helmet, with an auxiliary cord attached to it, next to it, an average size closet, and a dresser with a mirror hanging over it and several pictures on it. I glanced at the mirror and looked myself over. I was about five foot six with light brown skin and my dark brown hair styled into dreadlocks which hung slightly above me shoulders. My eyes were a strange green-gray color, strange because I am the only one in my family that does not have either brown or hazel colored eyes. I was wearing a plain black t-shirt with blue jeans, my usual style.

I tore my eyes from the mirror and looked at the pictures that stood on my dresser. Each one was of me with friends or family, except for one which depicted a man that seemed to be an older me, except their hair was cut short instead of stylized in dreadlocks. This was my father. A lot of people said that we looked alike, except for the hair, but we had almost opposite personalities. While he was more outgoing, but calm and collected, I was introverted, energetic and fun, around those I am comfortable with. An odd combination, but that is who I am. I tended to hold up in my room and read or play video games. Speaking of video games...

I made my way over to my computer and turned it on. Once it was on a put in the game, the game that changed everything. Sword Art Online, a VMMORPG (virtual massively multiplayer online role playing game). I picked up the gray helmet, known as a nerve gear and placed it on my head. I plugged the cord into my computer and laid on my bed, waiting for the game to start. I looked at my ceiling through the black visor, smiling to myself.

"Link start!" I said and my world changed.

My vision went white then multiple colors shot by my vision. Five blue circles appeared with the words of the five senses on them. They then turned green, indicating that they were functioning. A Blue bar appeared asking for my preferred language. I clicked English and another bar asking for my username and password. I quickly put them in and my account appeared. I clicked on it and it took me to character creation.

It first asked to pick a class. There were twelve in total; guardian, samurai, monk, assassin, swashbuckler, bard, cleric, druid, kannagi, sorcerer, summoner, and enchanter. The first three were part of the tank class, a group made to take hits and do damage. The next three were more of the DPS' (damage per second), they specialized in doing multiple hits to a foe. They generally had low attack power due to their combo speed. The final six were magic oriented, with low health and high mp (magic points), something that was unique to the final six classes. The first three were mainly healers and the other three specialized in offensive spells buffs.

I chose the swashbuckler class, deliver high speed combos. While assassins have the highest damage output, they have less defense than the other weapon classes. The swashbuckler class, while not able to do as much damage as the warrior classes or the assassin class, could deal continuous attacks on enemies. It also had fairly decent defense when compared to the other weapon classes. Next the game asked for a sub-class. There were a variety of sub-classes to choose from, but I settled for the tracker subclass, which would allow me to track enemies and increase my stealth along with my speed.

Next came the actual character customization. I set my character to five seven. It was close my own height so that when I entered the game I would be able to move without stumbling around because I am not used to my height. I learned that the hard way. I also set my eye color and skin color to match my own. I looked through the hair styles and sighed. They never had dreadlocks as a hair option in any MMORPG or RPG I have played. I settled on dark brown straight hair that stopped at the top of my shoulders with bangs that covered my forehead. It then asked for a character name. I chose DJ since it was my nickname.

With all that done, a blue box that gave a picture of my character and asked if this was the design I wanted. I clicked yes and everything went dark.

I then felt like I was in control of my body again and I opened my eyes. When I opened my eyes I was greeted with the sight of a paved road with pillars along the sides. I looked up and saw a clear blue sky with clouds lazily floating by. Looking around I saw there were hundreds of people walking back and forth along the path that lead to a town. The Town of Beginnings, the starting area for all players located on the first floor of Aincrad, a giant tower with a hundred floors.

I looked down at myself and saw I was wearing the standard weapon class clothes which consisted of a long sleeve, dark blue shirt with silver trim on the end of the sleeves and on collar, black pants that did not impede my movements, and leather armor, that cut off over my lower torso, over my shirt. I also had black boots and matching black finger-less gloves.

I held out my right pointer finger a white menu screen appeared. I hit inventory and equipped the standard short sword that came with the swashbuckler class. The blade and sheathe materialized onto back, the hilt poking out over my right shoulder. I smiled and clenched my fists in excitement.

"SAO," I whisper. "I'm back."

Town of Beginnings Floor 1

I raced down the streets of the starting town of SAO, passing numerous people and booths. The place had not changed much since I was here for the beta. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I was one of the beta testers for this game. The other beta testers and I only made it to floor ten, which was the cap of the beta, but the game was amazing. The graphics, the mobs, the bosses, everything was just amazing! When I had first started out I chose the assassin class, wanting to do a high amount of damage quickly, but I then learned that they were like a glass canon and could only take a few hits. After that I experimented with other classes and sub-classes and eventually I settled with the class and sub-class I am currently using.

I pulled myself from my thoughts and walked up to one of the booths and used the starting money that the game system provided to purchase some health potions. I then ran west through the streets wanting to get to the fields just west of the town in order fight some mobs so I could level up some. I was stopped, however, by a shout.

"Hey, you!" I turned and saw some one running up to me. He was also dressed in the standard warrior outfit; a long sleeve shirt that was red with gold around the neck and shoulder area and dark beige pants. He also had the same leather armor that I had. His boots were a dark brown color. His character was about the same height as my character and was Caucasian with medium length black hair that was slightly spiked upward and dark brown eyes. His sword was strapped to the left side of his waist. He finally reached me and slumped over, placing his hands on his thighs, breathing heavily.

"Thanks for stopping," he said in between breaths. He straightened up and gave me a wide smile. "I seem to know your way around here. That means you were one of the beta testers, right?."

"Yeah?" I said uncertainly, unsure of what this guy wanted.

"Well, I'm new here and I was wondering if you could show me the ropes," he said, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

"Umm... I don't know..."

"Please!" he pleaded. "This is my first game using the nerve gear and I have no idea what I'm doing!"

"Uh..." I said. "I guess it couldn't hurt..."

"Thank you so much!" he said enthusiastically. "The names Reaper by the way and I'm a samurai. Nice to meet you."

Reaper? I mentally questioned. It was an odd name, but hey. We are in a video game. "I'm DJ and I'm a swashbuckler. Like wise."

"DJ? That's an odd name. But hey, this is a video game."

Seriously? He should talk. I sighed. What had I gotten myself into?

Starting Field

I resisted the urge to laugh out loud as I watched Reaper get hit by a boar. The boar looked like a normal boar from the real world with black fur except it had glowing red eyes that were narrowed in anger. We had just entered Starting Field after I had suggested that he buy several health potions. I had told him to fight some boars, a low level mob that roamed these fields, to see where he stood in terms of skill. He was fairly good, but he knew nothing of his weapon skills, which led to him sent flying by a boar.

"Grah!" Reaper shouted in aggravation. "Why can't I beat this thing?!"

"Because your not using your weapon skills," I stated.

"Weapon skills?" he asked.

Instead of answering I walked by him and unsheathed my blade. The boar zeroed in on me and snorted angrily. It pawed the ground and charged at me, releasing an angry squeal. I looked at the boar impassively before sidestepping the charging boar. As it ran by my sword glowed a light blue and I swung my blade upward delivering a glowing red gash across the boar's flank. Several small, red pixels flew from the gash simulating blood. The boar gave a pained squeal and stumbled to the side.

"In order to use a weapon skill," I began. "you have to use the right motion input. When the motion input is correct, the system ensures that the weapon skill is executed correctly. You should instinctively know the correct motion inputs of all weapon skills you know."

"Motion...input," Reaper muttered, turning his attention back to the boar. He held out his blade horizontally, causing his blade to glow red. He then shot towards the boar and delivered a long horizontal slash to the boar's side. The boar gave a final squeal before bursting into thousands of small blue pixels. A white screen then appeared in front of us showing us the experience, items, and Cor (the currency of the game) that we had earned from defeating the boar. "I did it!"

"Congrats," I said sarcastically. "You beat a level one boar."

"That thing was only level one?!" Reaper asked incredulously.

"Yep," I said. "Though, as you saw, using sword skills makes it easier to beat mobs. There are a multitude of skills, ranging from weapon to support skills. Each class gets their own set of weapon skills that are unique to the weapon they use. It is the same for the sub-class you choose. For example; my sub-class is tracker, meaning the support skills that I learn are related to tracking and stealth."

"So, since my sub-class is hitman..." he began.

"Then you learn support skills that will help you on quests or allow you to get a bigger reward. I honestly don't know since I've never played a hitman," I said. "But you have to be careful with using sword skills."

"Why?"

"Because when you use a weapon skill the system temporarily takes control of your body, allowing you to execute feats that only masters of our chosen weapon could do. This creates a small delay between when the system gives and takes control from you. During that delay you are left wide open for an attack. That's why it's a good idea to be mindful of your surroundings."

"I see," he said with a nod. "But it's still really cool. Whoever designed this game is a genius."

"That would be Kane Harrison (AN: I did say I was using original characters)," I said. "He created this game as well as the nerve gear."

"Cool," Reaper said. "Let's keep going. I want to hit level five!"

We continued to defeat the various mobs of the fields, including boars, wolves, and rabid squirrels, Trust me, they were a lot more viscous then they sound. Before we knew it, the sun had stared to set covering the sky in orange light. I opened my menu and saw that it was seven fifteen in the evening. I had about forty-five minutes before my mom and sister got home.

"Whew," Reaper said, sitting done and looking at the sunset. "Time sure went fast."

"Yeah," I muttered, sheathing my sword and gazing at the landscape. The field looked like any normal field with bright green grass and large pine trees. What was unusual was that was that there were various floating islands, also fields, suspended around the main field. Each island was another area of the first floor. The Town of Beginnings could be seen on one of these islands.

"It still amazing how much detail they put in this game," Reaper said, gazing at the sky.

"Yeah, I was speechless during my first dive," I said.

"Is this the first game you played with the nerve gear?" he asked.

"No, I played several other ones, but this is my first MMORPG."

"That's cool. This is my first game, though you could probably figure that out," Reaper said with a slight chuckle. "I'm glad I live during this time, where we can experience these kind of advances."

"Yeah, I can't imagine living in any kind of time," I said truthfully. We remained in the same spot, taking in the sight of the virtual sun setting before Reaper got to his feet.

"Well, I should probably get going," he said. "I'm meeting up with a few friends in an hour and I need to get something to eat." He turned and gave me a smile of gratitude. "I want to thank you for helping me with getting used to the game. If there's anything that I could do to repay you..."

"You don't owe me anything," I said, raising my hands and shaking my head. "I was planning on coming here anyway, so it's no biggie."

"Well, thanks again. I guess I'll see you around," he said, extending a hand.

"Yeah, you have my contact information if you need me," I said, taking his hand and shook it. "Maybe we'll see each other during a floor boss."

"Yeah," he said, opening his menu. I turned around and looked at the setting sun. "That's weird," he said, causing me to look at him with a confused expression. "There's no logout button."

"Huh," I said. "It should be at the bottom of the main menu."

"Well I'm looking there and it's not there," Reaper said irritably.

"Hold on," I say as I open my own menu. True to Reaper's words the logout button was not there. "That's weird."

"It must be some kind of bug, right?" Reaper asked. "I mean it is the first day of official service. There's bound to be a few bugs."

"That's a pretty major bug. You'd think something like that would be the first thing that the game designers would fix, especially since it was there during the beta," I muttered, a frown on my face. "I'll try to contact a GM." I scrolled through the menu and clicked the GM button, but nothing happened. "That's odd. I can't reach anyone."

"The hell?" Reaper muttered. "Are there any other ways to log out? Like removing the nerve gear?"

"Unfortunately, that's impossible," I said. "The nerve gear is designed to intercept all brain waves concerning movements, meaning-"

"-We can't move our bodies as long as we're wearing the nerve gear," Reaper finished.

"That's right. The only way for us to disconnect is for someone on the outside to remove the nerve gear."

"That could be problematic for those that live alone," Reaper said.

"Yeah. Let's just hope that whatever is going on is fixed soon."

Before either of us could say anything more, a loud bell resonated throughout the fields, coming from the Town of Beginnings.

"What the hell is that?" Reaper asked, shock etched on his face.

"That's sounded like the bell tower from the Town of Beginnings," I said, equally shocked. "I wonder what it's abo-"

I was cut of by a bright light enveloped us both.

Town of Beginnings: Town Plaza

"-ut." I blinked in confusion. I looked around and saw that there were thousands of other players here, all of them looking equally confused. Various flashed of light appeared all over the square, leaving more confused players in their wake. "The hell?"

"Why are we in the Town of Beginnings again?" Reaper asked from next to me. "Better question, how did we get here?"

"Forced teleportation," I answered, looking around trying to figure out what was happening. I looked towards the sky and gasped.. "Look," I said, pointing towards the sky.

Everyone in hearing range looked at what I was pointing at and saw what I saw. A blinking red hexagon that was floating in the sky. The word 'warning' printed across it.

"What's that?" Reaper asked.

Before I could answer another hexagon appeared next to the original. Then another, then another. More appeared until the entire sky was covered with red error hexagons with one saying 'system error'.

"What the-?"

Then, from in between the hexagons, a thick red liquid seeped through the hexagons and fell towards the ground. Everyone gasped as the blood-like substance seemed to hit an invisible wall several yards above the bell tower. The substance pooled together and began to form a shape. We watched transfixed as the substance to the shape of a giant figure cloaked in a blood red cloak with gold trim and a hood that completely covered their face. His hands were covered in white gloves. Almost immediately the players began conversing amongst themselves.

"Who's that?

"Is this some kind of event?

"This is probably just some open ceremony."

"Attention players!" the cloaked figure said, gaining everyone's attention. "Welcome to my world."

"'My world'?" I asked. "But that means-!"

"I am Kane Harrison, the creator of the game that you all currently reside in," the figure spoke. "I designed this game for over twenty years, and I, as well as a specially designed AI, control this world. I'm sure by now you have noticed that the logout button is missing from your menu." As he said this, he held out his own pointer finger and opened a giant menu, demonstrating that the button was not there. "This is not a bug. It is a feature of the true Sword Art Online."

What?! I thought as everyone around me gasped in shock and some in anger. This is a feature of the game?!

"You are all unable to logout from SAO and nobody from the real world can disconnect the nerve gear without consequences," Kane continued. "If the nerve gear is forcibly removed, then a powerful burst of microwave radiation will be emitted from a transmitter located in the nerve gear that will destroy your brain, ending your life."

"WHAT?!" several people shouted in shock and outrage.

"This has to be some kind of joke!" a player said. "Some kind of promotion to get us excited for the game!"

Some people tried to leave the square, but were stopped by an invisible wall.

"Hey, what the hell is this!" shouted one. "Let us out!"

What the hell is this guy talking about?" Reaper asked through gritted teeth. "This guy's crazy, right DJ?"

"The signals emitted from the transmitter of the nerve gear do use microwaves, so it is possible that he is telling the truth is the safety was disabled," I said slowly.

"But what if the power were cut?" he asked.

"That wouldn't work. The nerve gear has an internal battery."

"Dammit."

"However," Kane spoke up, gaining everyone's attention once again. "Some player's parents have ignored my warnings and tried to forcibly remove the nerve gear. This has cause a total of two hundred and thirteen people have left this world as well as the real world."

"Two hundred and thirteen people?!" I asked in surprise.

"No way," Reaper said.

Multiple screens appear around Kane, each depicting a news channel that was talking about the multiple deaths caused by the nerve gear, cementing Kane's words.

"As you can see, news of my warning has spread throughout the world, yet some did not heed my warning causing the deaths of their loved ones," Kane said. "With the evidence that the removal of the helmet will cause the death of the wearer, there will be less attempts to remove it. I hope this will ease your worries and allow you to focus on your objective."

"Our objective?" I asked aloud.

"Your objective to complete the game and reach the hundredth floor," Kane answered. "If you complete this task and beat the game, you will be released from the game."

"Going through a all of the floors?!" someone asked in shock.

"But the beta testers only made it to the tenth floor!" another shouted.

Beating a full MMORPG?! I thought. That's almost impossible!

"In order to progress to the next floor, you most find and defeat the floor boss," Kane said. "Also, I would like to add that all methods of revival in the game are no longer functioning, so if you die, then the transmitter will release the radiation. In other words, if you die in the game, you die in real life."

Everyone was silent at Kane's final statement. Not a sound was made as we all gazed at the giant cloaked form of Kane Harrison in shock and horror.

"And lastly," Kane continued seemingly unaware of everyone's shock. "I have distributed a gift to you all. If you would look in your inventory you will find it."

I reached out my hand and opened my menu, everyone else doing the same thing. Pulling up my inventory a saw the item in question. "A mirror?" I said, clicking on it, causing a small mirror to appear in my hand.

"GAH!" A shout of surprise grabbed my attention. I turned towards that direction and saw a player get enveloped in light. Before I could process what was happening more people became engulfed in the same light.

"What-?" I began, only to be cut off when the very same light enveloped my body. When the light finally died down, my head was spinning. I placed a hand on my head to help ease the dizziness. "What was that?"

"D-DJ?" Reaper's voice said. I turned to him and was shocked to see that his appearance had changed. While he was still Caucasian with black hair, it was no longer as long or as spiky. It was now cut fairly short around the sides and back, but the hair on the top of his head slightly stuck up, but was not spiky like his previous hair style. He was also now taller than me be at least an inch.

"Reaper?" I asked.

"What happened to you?!" we both asked at the same time.

We both looked at the mirrors in our hands and I was shocked to see that my face was exactly like it did in real life, dreadlocks and all. I could also see that my height was now what it was in real life as well.

"W-What's this?" I asked touching my face. "Why do I look like I do in real life?"

"What the hell is going on?" I heard a player ask.

I looked around and saw that everyone had changed, each of them looking like, to the best of my knowledge, their real selves. I also noticed that some people had apparently decided to play as the opposite gender for the game. There were girls dressed in male clothing and vice versa. While I had no problem with this, as it was not uncommon for people to play as the opposite gender, it was still unsettling to see a fairly... larger male dressed in a pink short skirt.

"What the hell?!" a player asked, pointing an accusing finger at a male player that was dressed a female. "You're a girl?!"

"You're not eighteen!" the male responded.

"What's going on here?" Reaper asked. "Why do we look like our real selves."

I thought for a moment before it hit me. "The nerve gear. The transmitter covers your whole head, meaning that it can calculate what we really look like."

"But how did it get our height?"

"Hmm... The pat down!" I exclaim. "When we first used the nerve gear it made us pat ourselves down in order to 'calibrate' the nerve gear. That must be how they got out measurements."

"But why?" Reaper asked. "Why is all this happening?!"

"I think we're about to find out," I said grimly, indicating to the colossal cloaked figure.

"Right now," Kane said. "you are probably wondering, 'why?' Why would I, Kane Harrison, the creator of Sword Art Online and the nerve gear do such a thing?' I have already achieved my goal. I created Sword Art Online for the sole purpose of my own entertainment. And now..." I could practically see the smirk on Kane's face from under his hood. I clenched my fists in anger. "the preparations are already complete. This concludes the tutorial of Sword Art Online. Players, I wish you the best of luck."

With that, purple smoke began to seep from Kane's hood and gloves. The cloak began to fall, as there was nothing holding it up. The cloak then reverted to the red substance and was sucked back through the hexagons. As soon as the last of the red substance was sucked up, the sky instantly reverted back to normal.

Everyone was silent. Not a sound was made as everyone processed the gravity of the situation. The silence was broken by a scream, followed by the majority of the players. Everyone began to scream , shouting as if Kane Harrison would hear them.

"LET US OUT!"

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US! LET US GO!"

"I CAN'T STAY HERE! I HAVE MY OWN LIFE TO LIVE!"

"I WANT MY MOMMY!"

The last shout came from a little girl who was kneeling on the ground, tears flowing from her eyes. She looked way to young to be playing this game and my heart clenched seeing a child as young as her stuck in this world.

I noticed a slight discoloration appear around the plaza. I immediately realized that whatever was keeping us confined in the square was gone.

"Come on!" I said, grabbing Reaper's wrist and dragging him out of the square.

"Listen up," I said to Reaper. We were currently in one of the back alleys of the town. The majority of the players were still in the square. "I'm planning on heading to the next town as soon as possible. You should come too."

"Huh?" Reaper said.

"If everything he said was true, then we have to survive in this world," I said. "In order to do that, we have to become stronger. And to do that, we need better gear. In an MMORPG's, money, items, and exp are limited. It's only a matter of time before the mobs in the Starting Field are wiped out. The best course of action would be to head to the next town. I know the way and all of the dangers that we might run in to, so even if we are low level, we can get their safely."

"But, I can't," Reaper said. "My friends that waited in line to by the game with me are most likely here right now. I have to help them."

I can only manage with one other person, I thought. but with others...

"Sorry," Reaper said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "I can't keep making you look out for me. So don't worry about me and head to the next town. I'll be fine with the trick that you've taught me."

"Okay," I said. "Then I guess this is where we head our separate ways. If anything happens, you can message me."

"Right!"

"Then... see you, Reaper."

"See ya' around, DJ," he said, giving me a thumbs up.

I smiled and ran off down the alley. I continued to run through the town until I exited the Town of Beginnings and through the Starting fields, heading in the direction of the next town. As I ran I thought of my family and friends from the real world. I imagined how they were feeling and it caused an ache in my heart.

I can't die here, I thought. I have to survive and get back to them!

Just then a large wolf with dark gray fur and a lighter shade of gray on its stomach. It's red eyes narrowed at me and it growled. Without any provocation, the wolf charged me.

I refuse to die. I'll keep moving forward until I beat this game! I growled as I unsheathed my sword, continuing to run towards the wolf. I pointed my sword diagonally towards the ground. Just as the wolf was about to bite me, my blade glowed blue and with a shout I slashed upward, cutting through the wolf's head. It gave a pained howl before bursting into pixels. I WILL WIN!