Living On A Prayer

The ritual progressed with enthusiasm.

They were insulting her, grouped so that it seemed they were talking with each other, the voices just high enough so she could hear them but not so much that other would notice it. She was put against the corner, figuratively and literally. In any case, she lacked the energy necessary to resist by now. She was tired. Sick of everything. Leaning against the window, she merely waited for it to end. Waited for the brief respite before things descended into hell, the pattern of her life during this whole time. Over and over again.

Gladly left the classroom, with a stack of folders under one arm. He looked at me in the eyes. The rant of the girls didn't stop for even an instant even though there was not even a meter between them, he had to be hearing each of those insults. She looked at him in the eyes. For a moment, Taylor allowed herself to think that, for once, things would torn out like they should. That justice would be served.

He left without doing anything, leaving her a look of pity like that was worth anything.

After the incident with the locker, she had thought that, as cruel as they had been with her, finally they would see that they had crossed the line and at least they would leave her in peace. The hated rhythm of day to day life continued as soon as she returned to the high school, like nothing had happened.

She didn't want to think about it, it was a black out that could adsorb her soul, but how could she not, in a situation like this? Her agitated thoughts were a white noise, the only moments of clarity in her surging anger had that as the focal point, a kind of physical representation of everything that was wrong with her life since more that a year and half now.

There was a light in the middle of that suffering, the worst day of her life. The hope of obtaining powers, a way of getting to the surface before she drowned. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. And she had dragged herself to that school, to the torment that made her forget she was even alive, for no reason at all. Since a few days, she was seriously thinking of…

"What's the matter, Taylor?" Emma said. Her voice surprised her, she had approached. She prepared herself for what was to come. "You look upset. So upset you're going to cry yourself to sleep for a straight week?"

Nothing could have prepared her for that.

Something… something in her mind started to crack. In the beginning, she had resisted this treatement. It was something wrong, something that should be corrected. She had believed that it would end soon. Part of her had hoped that Emma and her would go back together, laugh together again, and they would leave it behind. The system failed. The pain opened her eyes, letting her see that what was threatening to engulf her life was a common part of society. She wanted to know why her, that was all, but they wouldn't give her even that.

Thoughts that she hadn't examined, since her hope had been shatter, came back to her mind.

There was no reason that explained why was she their victim. Though Emma participated in the bullying with what seemed like personal hatred, instigating the others, in reality any person would have sufficed. She had ended up with that role because she was a convenient prey. The fundamental problem of humanity. Each one, conscious of themselves

and of their own mortality, sought to belong and at the same time be more that the rest. Someone special.

Knowing that nobody cared about her, that they could do whatever they wanted and they wouldn't be punished, satisfied the desire rooted in the majority of humankind. That was all. Reasons weren't need to fulfill the order of society. Hating the weird kid exiled from the world wasn't something they had to felt bad about. For their greed, they were destroying the life of a person like it didn't matter.

When she realized the answer, that something in her mind, about to collapse, finally snapped.

There was a crack, to her ears like a shot from a gun.

It took her an instant to realize that it had been the sound of her fist hitting Emma in the face. Caught off guard, she fell to the ground on her ass with a gasp of surprise.

That…

That scene, that happened hundred of times, now on the reverse, the aggressor in the ground looking at her incredulity and confusion, filled her with satisfaction. Needed more.

That surprised the group, and they retreated like they were afraid of her. She was only vaguely aware of what was happening around her. Her vision was a tunnel with Emma on the other side.

"I will kill you." only when those words left her throat, she realized she meant it. Tears were streaming down her

cheeks. "You bitch, I will kill you."

With a hysterical scream that it was hard to believe came from her own throat, she threw herself on the top of her before she could react.

Taylor was weak, she had never fought with anybody before, but details like that no longer mattered. The dam had broek and everything she had held inside her was a raw, recent scream, pushing her to make her pay for every last thing she had done to her.

For some reason, her group of friends wasn't interfering, not even Sophia. It was like the school was abandoned, except for the two of them. That provoked a fit of laughter.

"Bitch, for once that's not in your favor." Taylor said, breathing agitatedly. She had given her a few good hits, her face was not longer fit to be on the covers of magazines. Those beatiful eyes were blackened by the fear, fear of her, that dyed them. Her hands closed around her throat.

And she squeezed.

It was stupid, her physical strength was negligible, but this was about getting even, unload her misery and frustration on the person who was behind all of it.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. Various teachers had come, alerted by the ruckus, o maybe because one of them had gone to tell them. The truth was that it didn't matter. She suspected it wouldn't have happened, if she had been the one on the receiving end of the hits, but she let it be. She fixed her gaze on her old fried. She was looking at her with a another expression. Confusion. A bit of fear.

I'm no longer a worm you can crush when and how you want. How does that feel? Tell me, Emma, how does that feel?

Not very well, that was clear.

They gathered them in the principal's office, and the game started. They knew who they wanted to blame, and the rest of the process was find reasons to justify it, she could see it in them.

She had the courage to resist, but nothing had really changed. The System was still turning on its rusty wheels.

When they called her name, she rose from the chair, grabbing her coat, and got out without wasting time in putting it on. Ignored the voices behind that told her to come back. Not anymore, she promised herself. Fuck, not anymore.

Only when she put a good distance between herself and school, she let her tears fall again.