Nico POV

I really don't wanna get up today. After the war and everything, It's just been harder and harder to deal. I should have never told Reyna or anyone for that matter. It was wrong to feel what I felt. I shouldn't look at him that way, I shouldn't care that he does, I should just disappear.

I roll over, throwing my blanket over my head. It's too much, I should have just faded.

I hear a knock on the door. Ugh, who could it be this early? I look across my cabin, the marble grey walls, reminding me of my dad's palace. The black carpet over hardwood floors, like the Lotus hotel. There was a bed on the right for when hazel stays over and a desk on the left. I didn't have much so the only thing on it was a lamp and my leather jacket on the chair.

The knocking persists. I through my cover off me, the cold morning air hitting my chest immediately. I look around for a shirt and I find a black v neck to throw on. I drag my feet to the door. Someone better be dead, but I would have felt it if they did die, huh so I do have a sense of humor.

I yank open the door. It was the last person I wanted to see right now.

"What do you want Jackson?"

After the war, when I told Percy how I felt, I immediately regretted it. I knew he didn't feel that way but I was being selfish with my feelings. I wanted what he and Annabeth had. Yet, I knew it would never be. It's only been a week, but I've been avoiding him at all cost. I go to the mess hall rarely and never do any activities, and when he sees me I go the other way. If I could shadow travel, he'd probably never see me again.

"Hey, Nico." He smiled sheepishly. Ugh, that stupid crooked smile. Why do I find him so attractive?

"Uh, I was wondering if we could talk?" He scratches the back of his head.

Dang it, How can I resist those eyes, his lips. Now that I get a better look he looks worn down, more than normal at least. The normal mischief in his sea green eyes has dimmed, his all year tan looks pale, and he looks like he's losing weight drastically. His devilishly messy hair looks extremely unkempt like he's been grabbing at it all night. I look back at is eyes, the dark circles are set deep. Somethings wrong with him. I take a step back letting him in.

He walks in looking around in wonder. I've never had anyone in here besides Hazel and Will when I got out the infirmary. He stands in the middle of the room, looking unsure of himself. I've never seen this side of Percy, he looks like a kid. I finally can see how the war affected him. It's different seeing him with no armor, no wall trying to hold it together.

"You can sit on my bed." I closed the door.

He nods his head and sits on the edge, I sit on the edge of my desk, facing him. We sit in silence for a moment. He stares at my window, the blinds are closed, so all I can see are shadows on his cheeks. His beautiful jawline, sculpted cheekbones, and to his chest, which peaks out of his loose tank top. He truly looks like a greek masterpiece, even with the weight loss. What I would give to just lay with him and imagine us, no. Nico stop, you shouldn't be having these thoughts. He probably thinks you're disgusting, that why he's here. To tell you that he never wants to see you again.

" So are you done checking me out?"

I shake my head, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks, and neck. I tried not to meet his eyes, too ashamed.

"Nico, look at me please?"

I raised my head slowly, expecting to see anger and disgust, Yet all I see is amusement and…. love?

"Why are you here, Jackson?" I whisper.

"To talk; about you. You've been avoiding me and I know it's because of how you felt about me."

" I-"

"No Nico, you never gave me a chance to respond, let me please."

I take a deep breath. I sit down at my desk, nodding my head.

" Nico, I can't possibly understand what you're going through right now. You were born in a time where being Gay was not accepted at all. Not only that you had to deal with being a demi-god, a son of the big 3, and the loss of your mother and sister. Being kidnapped, going through Tartarus alone, being forced to come out, and then almost dying-"

I clench my fist, shaking "What's your point, Jackson because this is not what I need right now."

'Let me finish. I can't understand what you are going through, but I can tell you-you are not alone. I know what its like to struggle with your past. Ever since I've gotten back from Tartarus I've had nightmares of things I didn't think I was capable of seeing. I don't want you to go through this alone. If it wasn't for Annabeth-"

I laugh, it was bitter and lack any sort of happiness. Of course, he brings Her into this.

"I'm not alone, Ha. That really funny Jackson because you can never understand me, let alone stand by me. You will never know the pain of having everything ripped away from you at once. You have no idea how hard it is to live in a world that you never thought would exist. To be stuck in a hotel for 60 years, having not aged but the world around me changed. Do you know what its like to not understand anything about the world? Or how about the fact that I watched my mother die, I let my sister die! I couldn't protect the only two people in my life! To top it off I fall in love with the one that promised to protect her, but couldn't! Do you know the pain of loving someone but never being able to have them, to never have more than a surface level relationship. Being ostracised about your parentage, not having a choice. Having everyone treat me like a freak, having nowhere to call home, to not have family at all. Huh?! Of course, you don't, you will never be able to help me because you will never know how it feels to be absolutely disgusted with yourself. To know what you feel is wrong, and you can't change it. Percy, You can't change me!"

I sink to the floor, crying. It shakes my core, I feel hot and cold, my nose runs. I cry and cry. Till I black out. Before I lose consciousness I feel him wrap his arms around me. He cries too.

"Nico I will never understand, but I will never stop trying to help you. I'm sorry, I'm so so so so sorry." He cries, rocking me on the floor. I hear him say sorry over and over as I lose all consciousness.