Diva sat down at the pub, with an air of annoyance around her. Really! Who did they think she was?! Some cheap floozy? I think not! This was THE diva! Hell, in S.T.U.P.I.D. Collage (she never figured out what that stood for…) She had been voted the student who represented they're school the best! And to put her in that show with hardly any lines……the nerve!
"Stupid knights in their stupid wooly tights…."Diva started muttering as she took increasingly large gulps of her beer. She kept at this for a while, downing more and more of the beers. She was on her fifth, and doing surprisingly well (to be in show biz, you had to know how to hold your liquor) when someone sat next to her. This was very surprising, because since she had started ranting to herself, all the other occupants of the pub had started moving away from her. This made her even more upset, because she couldn't even make friends with drunks!
Anyway, this stranger sat down and ordered a large whiskey. They sat there for a while, just sipping their drinks. Diva considered moving down the bar, if only to rid herself of the awkward silence. But this is Ms. Diva we're talking about! She couldn't turn away, and be scared! So to break the ice, she said "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."
However, the moment these words left her mouth, she immediately regretted it. That could be turned into something VERY VERY dirty. Blushing (which she swore was a side effect of the alcohol) corrected herself. "Your, uh, story I mean."
When the man just kept looking at her, she let out a great sigh. "Well, everyone comes to the pub for a reason! No one comes here for the heck of it! Everyone here is in deep shit one way or the other."
Taking another swig, she continued on."SO, because I have nothing better to do, and forgot to bring my drinking partner, you tell me why you're here, and I'll do the same. To pass time."
When the stranger didn't answer, she turned away, a little embarrassed. "Ya, ok, that was a stupid idea…."
To her surprise the stranger answered. "Sure lady, that sounds like fun. YOU have to go first though."
Happy her attempt at human interaction worked, Diva happily obliged. "You see, I'm doing this show. And yet, with all my talent, I got about three lousy songs. Three! I am a star, but Noooooooo! All the damn British pussys get all the lines! I swear, the nights who say NI! get more lines then I do!!!
Diva took a especially large swig after that. "All, I'm saying, is that the whole show has lost the plot! Those writers have no talent anymore, none! They wouldn't know talent like mine if it gave them a lap dance, peed on their rug, killed their cat and blew up their favorite donut shop!"
Looking to the stranger, his facial expression had not changed. "Ah, I don't expect you to understand." Diva slurred out. "Show biz and all."
The stranger raised an eyebrow. "Actually, I know exactly what you are feeling." At Diva's surprised expression, he continued. "See, I'm on a show too. And I'm a main character also, but the whole plot is off the tracks! Stupid writers don't even know where the show is going…."
Seeing as he wasn't going to say anymore, Diva pried once more and asked drunkenly "What show is it?"
The man stared down at her on the floor (she had fallen off her bar stool). "It's called Lost. Have you heard of it?"