A/N: AU New Moon, no Cullen return. The prompt for this was from meranaamjoker: Bella's stuck in her truck during a rainstorm when a downed tree blocks La Push Road after she has a fight with Jake, and she has to call him to help her out.
Slight angst, rated T with no warnings. Reviews are treasured.
At the Mercy of the Ghost
i've got a sickness pounding in my head/ i'm at the mercy of the ghost
After hitting her small and enclosed fists on the steering wheel, Bella considered—if only for one half-second—driving the old engine of her truck off road.
It would be the tightest of squeezes and a risked attempt to wander into the deep, abysmal ditch between road and mossy ferns, but the conjoined feeling of annoyance and frustration at the place between her heart and stomach made it so one of her fisted hands loosened and gave the gear stick a few forced wiggles.
She would go around the fallen tree, it was decided.
Her truck gave a wheeze and stutter, rolling back inches, hitching forward, and the sound following resembled something of a dying breath as the growled purr of the Chevy's engine went silent. Bella's fist connected a final time with the flat of the leathered wheel. She was sure she hadn't bumped into the fallen tree hard enough for it to immobilize her escape vehicle on her speedy drive around the bend of the road.
The rain pouring from a heavy summer rainstorm reminded her to place blame on lightening from above for striking down the tree and it obscuring the only exiting route to Forks from La Push.
She dialed Jacob's home number ten minutes later with her lips pressed into a bitter line, hating her eyes for already burning with the pressing of salted tears. Fighting with Jacob was one of the top two most painful blows to her small body, falling right after a certain Edward-shaped hole at her chest.
She didn't want to face him after all their yelling and her fleeing.
Jacob answered with a tired "What, Bella?"
The line of her lips collapsed into a frown over his exhaustion with her. It took Bella passing seconds to choke out, "I'm stuck."
"Let me help you find a way out."
There. He did it again, tying it all back to her inability to let go. She shook her head repeatedly, closed her eyes to his whispered yet hopeless words, explained hurriedly, "There's…there's a tree in the road. I ran into it. The truck won't start; I'm stuck in the road..."
His voice freed of the tiredness and resounded with something more cautious as Jacob asked, "Where are you?"
"La Push road, at the bend."
"Be there in a few. Sit still."
As Bella waited, she thought about stuck.
Jacob was burned out with her—she could see a dimmer flame in his eyes—and, earlier, he argued over the matter of why the fire for her was leaving him.
If you could let go of him, he told her, if you could try to start letting go, honey…
Bella curled on her side in the seat and waited, deciding it best not to think of those things keeping her stuck.
Headlights lighted from the rearview mirror some minutes later, through the windows, illuminating the cabin, and Bella sat bolt upright, thinking Jacob must've broken a few speeding laws to get here.
Together—with Bella's steering and Jacob's maneuvering—they parked the truck at the far side of the road and got into the rabbit silently. Jacob started driving, keeping his face turned from her, mute all the while with only the soft rock stationed channel humming music through reinstalled speakers.
Two left turns from the Black house, Jacob stopped driving in the middle of the road and threw the thing into park while throwing his head back, shutting his eyes. His hands locked around the wheel and he picked right back up at where their argument died off in his garage. "I've tried everything. Should I keep trying? God, I'm so lost, Bella. I don't know what to do anymore."
"Jake—" she started, knowing nothing but his name to say, because answers were like a shade of hope. She found a lot of hope in Jacob, but it hurt her to think he was giving up.
"Tell me how to make you better."
Bella met his eyes when he reached out to touch her cheek and told him solemnly, "I think this is as good as I'm going to get, Jacob." She didn't hurt much anymore. What she struggled with most was how to be with Jacob, in ways other than kissing and touching. It took her until now to realization her relationship with Edward was in no way normal, and it messed her up so completely in the mind.
Jacob took her hand, brought it to his face, his eyes groveling with pleads. "You can do better, honey. I'm not letting you stay stuck like this."
As he kissed her palm and pads of her fingertips, she saw the insecurity he wore, as if he wasn't doing enough. She rushed into setting that right. "Okay," Bella agreed, quiet, "okay, I'm… stuck. But…but I know that I love you and I know it's enough." She looked out the window, lowering her voice one level softer. "Let that be enough, Jake."
His lips stayed at the back of her hand, moving, eyes closing.
"Sure sure. I'll keep loving you if that's what helps."