Summary: AU. Through his shame, he can't tell anyone the truth. Not even the man he loves more than anything. Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters.

A/N: Warnings for domestic abuse, possible sexual assault, emotional abuse and lots of angst and violence. People don't often cover the topic I'm covering in this fic, which is the fact that also, men endure domestic violence from their female partners. I hope you enjoy this fic.

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Sealed Lips

Chapter One

He felt small, weak, humiliated, vulnerable, pathetic...

The list went on.

She still hit him though, and he knew he should've stood up and stopped it but he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to yell at her or put his hands on her. He was worthless and pathetic so he just took it as the voice in his head screamed at him not to. He hadn't told anyone. They would've only laughed, and he couldn't take that.

He tried to think of happy things. He thought of his twin and the family he had. His wife doesn't beat him, unlike the poor guy who was currently being beaten by his girlfriend. His mind wandered to his other brothers. It wandered to his friends, his best friend from childhood who he loved more than anything. But for the sake of his father, he was with this monster.

"Get up!" She yelled, her blue eyes full of hate, "Stand up, worm!"

He tired, but it hurt to, and instead he stumbled, feeling her fingers slide into his hair. She gripped it and pulled him upwards, slapping him again.

"Get out of my sight!" She screamed, which he responded to by limping to the door as quickly as possible and heading out of the apartment.

He stretched, his back cracking as he did before he put on his mask, a brave smile crossing his face as he headed towards his friend's apartment.

He knocked at the door and waited, hoping his friend would be home that night. He beamed as his friend opened the door with that trademark grin plastered onto his face. Always the same with him, and it made everyone else smile too.

"Cas!" He cried happily, his friend smiling softly.

"H-hi, Dean..."

Dean pulled Castiel into a hug and held him close, Castiel sighing and burying his face in Dean's shoulder. It felt wonderful just to be away from that evil girl, the same girl who was supposedly in love with him. It felt wonderful to be in Dean's arms. It always did feel wonderful to be in Dean's arms and Castiel really didn't want to let go.

"Cas?" Dean asked, rubbing Castiel's back which earned him a wince of pain from his friend, "You okay? Anna kick you out again?"

"Yeah, she's making me a special dinner." Castiel lied, "She wants me out of the way. "

"I see." Dean replied with a smirk, "Someone's getting lucky tonight then."

"We'll have to see." Castiel chuckled, hoping and praying that Anna wouldn't want him in bed that night.

He hated having to have sex with that vicious bitch. She'd always cry to him. 'I'm so sorry, Castiel!' she'd cry, 'I don't know what came over me, baby...I love you, I promise!' She'd then proceed to cry for several minutes before Castiel, like the fool he knew he was, would forgive her, and the cycle would begin all over again. He couldn't say to people, 'I got this black eye when my girlfriend hit me in the face for not wanting sex.' Come on, it was just laughable right? Who the hell got beaten by their girlfriends? It just made him seem like such a goddamn weakling, a pathetic excuse for a man.

"You want a beer?" Dean asked, snapping Castiel out of his thoughts, "You're looking tired again..."

"I've not been sleeping so well." Castiel replied, "A beer would be great, thanks."

Dean grabbed his friend and himself a beer, watching as Castiel ran a hand over his face. As his friend stood under the light of the kitchen, Dean noticed the markings on Castiel's face. He had a reddened left cheek and a bruising jaw.

"Cas, what the hell happened to your face, man?" He asked, "You look like you've been fighting..."

"No, some fucker hit me in the face with the door on the way out of the building." Castiel replied, taking a drink of beer, "Ignorant fuckers."

Dean sighed, knowing that something wasn't right with Castiel. He'd had this feeling ever since Castiel had gotten together with Anna. Anna was a nice enough girl...when she wanted to be. There were times when she seemed really demanding and Dean didn't like the way she sometimes spoke to and about Castiel, talking down to him like he was a child. It made Dean feel sick.

It didn't help that Castiel was always in Dean's thoughts. Dean had been in love with Castiel Novak since they'd started high school and he'd known him since the two of them were three years old. He knew when he was lying, but he didn't push. Dean knew better than anyone how annoying it was when people pressured him to talk about stuff. He figured Castiel would tell him in his own time if it was important.

He just wished that he could keep Castiel as his own, and that Castiel felt the same way as he did. Unfortunately, some things are just a pipe-dream. Some are never meant to be, and Dean believed that he and Castiel as a couple was something that was just not meant to be.

He'd resigned himself to that in fact.

The pair talked and laughed, joked and bitched about people they hated. All the time, Castiel had been watching the clock with wary eyes and getting paler and paler as his time with Dean drew to a close. He'd been with Anna for six months and they were already living together and engaged.

Castiel couldn't bear his life with Anna. He just wished he had the strength to come out, and to tell people the truth about what happened to him behind closed doors. He wished that he had the courage to tell Dean Winchester how he truly felt about him. He knew deep down that he'd probably have to spend the night with Dean, and Dean wouldn't ask a damn question because Dean hated being pushed at for answers.

He decided to try heading back to the apartment and he left an hour later, going back upstairs to find Anna sat with a glass of wine on the sofa, her sobs clear as he entered their home.

"Baby?" She breathed, turning and running into his arms, "Oh, Cas...I'm so sorry...I don't know what happened, I just...I got mad, and I didn't need to. I'm so sorry, please forgive me, Cas! I love you!"

Castiel didn't have the strength to fight back that day, so he just held onto her and rubbed her back gently, pressing a kiss to her head.

"I know. I love you too, Anna." He replied, Anna leaning in for a deep kiss.

Sex was nice that night. Anna had been gentle and undemanding, and Castiel had paid as much attention to her as he could. He looked at the clock to see it was eleven-twenty-one in the evening, and he smiled a little, looking down at Anna who slept peacefully, curled up in his embrace. He kissed her forehead, snuggling down with her and looking up to the ceiling, closing his eyes as a tear escaped them.

"Please..." He whispered, "Please, God...Help her to change..."

-TBC-

Hope you enjoyed!

Thanks for reading so far!

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