In depth plot summary: Strange, scary things are happening at the Stewart house. Things that have no logical explanation, and Miley is the only one who notices them. She feels crazy, but Miley is put under the impression that her house is haunted. She also has countless nightmares. Meanwhile, as Hannah Montana, Hannah gets into some serious trouble with her career. She gets cornered by her fans, and then, just when it looks like all hope is lost, something REALLY SHOCKING happens!
Disclaimer: The document you are about to read is a parody. The writer of the document is not associated with Hannah Montana or Disney channel in any way. Little or none of the content of this fanfic is from any episode of the show. Also please note that none of the content of this fanfic reflects the opinions or views of any actual person portrayed herein. Anyway, IT'S JUST A FANTASY!
Chapter 1: "Nightmare in Malibu"
One day, Miley was at school, in the hallway, and she was really giving this one guy the eye. Miley thought he was hot, and cool. Sounded kind of paradoxical, but people used these words as slang, and the definitions were very much alike. Miley did have a boyfriend, Oliver, and a girlfriend, Lily, but they all believed that love wasn't about being tied down to one person. Lily had already hooked up with three other guys (before she became a lesbian), and now Miley was hoping she could do the same.
His name was Marty, and Miley didn't really have the guts to go to him, she was hoping he would come to her. Unfortunately, Miley suddenly realized she should have gone to him. Because before too long, another girl walked up to him. It was the worst possible girl for Miley to lose him to: Amber! Miley opened her locker as she watched them talk. She couldn't make out the words they were saying, but Miley was getting so mad! Miley continued to gather her supplies as she watched Marty touch Amber's face. Miley was so shocked and offended by it that she accidentally slammed her locker door right on her hand! "OWWWWWWWWWWWW!" screamed Miley. "OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OWWWWWWWWWW!" She tried to pull her hand out, but she was stuck!
Miley couldn't believe what happened next. Miley had lost a lot of guys to both Amber and Ashley, but Miley was usually aware of them dating. To her knowledge, Amber and Marty hadn't gone out at all, so it seemed as though they just met. So, how do you explain what happened next? Simple, she couldn't!
Amber and Marty started to kiss. As they kissed, something even more illogical happened. The floor started to rumble and shake. By then, everyone else was cleared out of the halls. Several of the other lockers fell down! The plaster started breaking off the ceiling! Some of the light fixtures broke! Miley got the feeling those things weren't really happening, and that they were just symbolic for what she was feeling inside, but it all felt too real!
Finally, Amber and Marty's kiss parted and the rumbling and all the other destruction stopped. "You are so hot, Amber" said Marty.
"I know" said Amber in a cocky voice.
Miley tried to pull her hand out of her locker. "Uh...a little help?" said Miley pathetically. Marty and Amber looked at Miley and laughed. They each made the shape of the letter L with their hands and put them on their foreheads.
"Loser!" said Amber and Marty at the same time. With that, they walked away holding hands. Miley shrugged helplessly with an emotional facial expression.
Just when Miley thought things couldn't get any worse, another illogical thing happened. She heard a deep growling noise. Miley gasped in fear. She heard the sound of slow, loud footsteps. There was another deep growl. Miley shook in fear, then looked in the direction of the sounds. Approaching the other doorway, there was a shadow. A shadow that revealed a large, open mouth, and sharp teeth! Miley tried to turn her locker knob to do the combination, but she was just too scared to pay attention to what she was doing. Then, right in front of the doorway, there was what looked like a MONSTER with a bizarre anatomy! It had red skin, it was about the size of a lion, it's body was shaped like a turtle, and there were four legs with claws. The monster had a long, brontosaurus like neck, and the only thing on the tip of the neck was a mouth with sharp fangs!
Miley screamed and tried to unlock her locker again. The monster edged closer to her, slowly. Miley was really starting to sweat with fear. The monster stopped briefly and roared at her. Miley still couldn't get her locker open! The monster then got way too close to her and Miley screamed her lungs out! It opened it's mouth and inched it's jaws right towards Miley!
Suddenly, one second Miley was at school, the next she was at home, in bed, at night. What a horrible nightmare! Miley didn't know which was worse; the monster, or losing the guy she liked to Amber! With the way Miley had kept losing guys to Amber and Ashley in real life, this nightmare probably showed she was really letting that get to her. Miley looked across the room. She looked at her digital clock. It was 3:45 in the morning. Miley trembled in fear as she looked at her clock. Even though she knew it was just a clock, from her point of view, it looked like two red eyes glowing in the dark. If they were, she almost thought they blinked a couple of times. Miley hid under her bed sheets.
Miley tried to get back to sleep, but then, something even worse than her nightmare happened. She heard something. Something unusual. It was a voice. "Miley..." said the voice. Miley gasped, and took her head out from under the bed sheets. She looked around her room, knowing it was completely illogical to find someone in there at this hour (not to mention, a stranger). No one. The room was empty. Did she really hear a voice? Miley tried to go back to sleep again. But she heard the voice again. "Miley," said the voice. "Are you there?" It was a woman's voice. Scary, yet strangely familiar. "Miley," said the voice. "Can you hear me?" It seemed to be coming from the distance, but it was loud enough for Miley to hear it, and it sounded like whispering with a slight echo. Miley got so scared that tears started to form in her eyes. "Miley!" called the voice. Damn, this voice sounded as scary as Miss Kunckle!
The next night, at a Hannah Montana concert, Hannah was singing "He could be the one." During the song, one of her older man dancers posed as the person Hannah was supposedly singing about. He strutted, winked at Hannah, pretended to play a guitar, blew Hannah a kiss, gave her a flower, and even danced with her a bit.
Hannah sang.
"Smooth talkin'
So rockin'
He's got everything that a girl's wantin'
Guitar cutie
He plays it groovy
And I can't keep myself from doin' somethin' stupid
Think I'm really fallin' for his mind
Get butterflies when he says my name
He's got somethin' special
He's got somethin' special
And when he's lookin' at me I wanna' get all sentimental
He's got somethin' special
He's got somethin' special
I can hardly breathe, somethin' tellin' me
Tellin' me maybe he could be the one
He could be the one
He could be the one
He could be the o-uh-uh-uh-ne
He could be the one
He could be the one
He could be the o-uh-uh-uh-ne"
After the concert, Hannah and Lola decided to conceal themselves by changing into their "true forms" at the stadium. That way, they could get out of there undetected. Miley and Lily exited their dressing room through a secret passage, so that way no one would see them exit Hannah Montana's dressing room as Miley and Lily. "Ok, Lily," said Miley. "We're in our true forms, but we must run silent. We don't want anyone to get suspicious."
Miley and Lily tiptoed down the hall. They started to walk by a paparazzi talking to a nearby patron. "I managed to track her down once two years ago," said the paparazzi. "But I'm tellin' ya', afta' every concert, Hannah Montana just disappears! And I can't find her anywhere else!"
"Well, come on," said the patron. "She's gotta' be out there somewhere."
"Da' kid is a freakin' ghost!" said the paparazzi. At the mention of the word "ghost", Miley suddenly stopped in her tracks and froze with fear.
"That's nonsense!" said the patron. There was a two second pause, then the patron said with a smile "Everybody knows ghosts can't be photographed!"
Lily noticed Miley wasn't by her side, then she looked back at Miley. "Come on!" whispered Lily as she gestured for Miley to follow her.
Before Miley could take more than three steps, the patron said to them "Hey! What are you kids doing?"
Miley and Lily stopped and looked at them. "Uh..." said Miley. "We...were just...looking for Hannah Montana!"
"Good luck!" said the paparazzi sarcastically. "Even I can't find her! And I'm a paparazzi!"
"Oh," said Miley. "Well...good luck to you too!" With that, Miley and Lily ran away.
After Miley and Lily rounded a corner, they made it out the back door of the stadium. "Woo!" said Lily wiping her forehead in excitement. "That was close, wasn't it?" They both stopped walking. Miley was looking straight ahead with a fearful expression. She was still thinking about how the paparazzi thought Hannah was a ghost. It wasn't that that bothered her, it was just the word "ghost" in general. What did that remind her of? The voice. "Miley?" said Lily. Lily's tone changed when she saw the frightened expression on Miley's face. "Miley, are you ok?" said Lily in a dramatic, concerned voice.
Miley shook her nerves out. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine" lied Miley. Miley and Lily held hands and walked over to Miley's car.
The next day, after school, Miley and Lily were watching T.V. at Miley's house. They were watching MTV. On the T.V., there was a white, young guy rapper singing a song that Miley and Lily found very offensive. He was known as "K Rap Rodriguez." It was the first time they had seen this music video, or ever even heard of this artist, so they actually listened to the whole song. "What a pric!" yelled Miley. "I may not know what it's like to be a guy, but K Rap Rodriguez is like a male incarnation of Amber and Ashley!"
"Yeah," said Lily. "Only Amber and Ashley are better looking."
Miley closed in on Lily. "Hello!" said Miley. "Back to earth, captain clit suck!" There was a three second pause. "He sings about picking on people just because he doesn't like the way they look, or because they're different!" said Miley. "Honestly, I don't like the way Drew Oman looks...or the way he smells, for that matter," said Miley waving her hand in front of her with a disgusted look. "But I don't pick on him!"
"Yeah!" said Lily. "And you and I aren't exactly the most popular girls in the school, but in reality, we're really not much different from everybody else! We like clothes! We like shoes! We like...pedicures!" said Lily lifting her bare foot and wiggling her toes. "We like chick flicks!" said Lily.
"Of course, Lily," said Miley. "And if a person is into video games, RPG's, and science fiction/fantasy stuff, I'm sure that deep down, there will always be a part of them...a very passionate side of them, that wants to be just like everybody else!" If Miley's life were a T.V. show, she was sure she and Lily would receive a round of applause right now.
Lily suddenly stared off into space and squeaked blissfully "EE! EE!"
"What are you 'EE'-ing about?" asked Miley.
"'Captain clit suck'!" said Lily humorously. "I like it!" Miley laughed, then they both started to make out. They made out for about 15 seconds, then Robbie Ray came in through the front door. Miley and Lily broke off their kiss and looked at Robbie Ray.
"Well, I'll be damned!" said Robbie Ray with a smile. "It's amazin' when BFF's become GF's!" There was a brief pause. "Say!" said Robbie Ray. "Maybe I should write a song about that!"
"Uh, daddy," said Miley with a smile. "That's not really something I want to advertise."
"Hey, it sells!" said Lily.
Miley smiled at Robbie Ray. "Go for it, cowboy!"
Robbie Ray then started singing.
"When BFF's become GF's,
Their hearts are filled with glee
Then everyone starts gawkin' at them
It's such an incredible sight to see!
A good sight to seeeee!
A hot sight to seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Miley and Lily applauded Robbie Ray. "Wow!" said Lily to Miley. "Your dad is getting dirtier by the decade!"
That night, Miley had just gotten back from a date with Lily and Oliver. They had sex at Miley's house, and now Lily and Oliver were just on their way out. Lily and Oliver were dressed while Miley was in her robe, barefoot. Miley was kissing Oliver. "Bye, boyfriend!" said Miley as her last kiss with Oliver parted. Miley then kissed Lily for the same period of time that she kissed Oliver. "Bye, girlfriend!" said Miley as her last kiss with Lily parted.
Oliver looked at Lily. "Ok, Lily," said Oliver. "On three..." Oliver then counted to three on his fingers. On the count of three, Lily and Oliver both said to Miley at the same time "Parting is such sweet sorrow."
"Awww!" said Miley as they all waved goodbye. Lily and Oliver had exited the front door. Miley plopped onto the couch, tired, but happy. She sat there for a while, as the room was only partially lit. She turned on the T.V. On the T.V., she saw the movie "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Miley made a frightened expression, then shook her forehead with a disgusted look, and turned the T.V. off. Miley decided she was in the mood for some toast. She got up, and put some toast in the toaster. Miley then found herself looking at her dad's collection of books on the mini bookshelf. The first book she noticed was on there was Steven King's "The Stand." Miley had never read a Steven King book, but she heard that he was a very spooky writer. So the fact that that was the first book she noticed, that kind of scared her. Miley walked around the room a bit. She then saw that one of their house plants was really decaying. Why hadn't Robbie Ray watered it? Had he? Was the plant just really old? Needless to say, the dead plant made Miley feel the presence of death around her. She sat back down on the couch. In the distance, she heard one of her neighbor's dogs howl. It was one hell of a howl, because it sounded like a creepy wolf howl! Miley couldn't believe this. She had just had a really fun night with Lily and Oliver, and now she was starting to get scared again.
Suddenly, Miley heard a loud noise! A noise that seemed to be coming from inside the house! She gasped. Miley looked in the direction of the noise, and saw that her toast in the toaster had popped. "Oh, pfft!" said Miley smacking her forehead in disgust. "Duh!" Miley went into the kitchen, took her toast out of the toaster, and put some butter and cinnamon on it.
Miley spent three minutes eating the toast. Suddenly, she heard a loud noise that didn't have any logic behind it. She heard the toilet in the downstairs bathroom flush. There wasn't anybody else downstairs! Who flushed it? Miley got up with a frightened expression and went into the downstairs bathroom. No one was there. The toilet was flowing from the flush. Miley started hyperventilating. She started to sweat with fear just like she did the night she had her last nightmare.
Miley walked out of the bathroom and back into the living room, still hyperventilating. Much like the mysterious voice she heard before, this had no logical explanation. It's like the toilet just flushed all by itself! Or did it? Could the toilet have been malfunctioning somehow? Maybe. She had never heard the toilet flush by itself before, but she had heard it flow by itself. She had to tell her dad. Her dad was in bed at the moment, so she decided to write him a note. She got a pad of paper and pencil, and started writing it on an end table with a lamp on it. Unfortunately, she was so scared that she was clumsy in the writing process. She accidentally dropped the pencil between the end table and the wall. With the lamp on the end table turned on, Miley looked in the space between for the pencil. She could see it, then as she reached for it, she saw a loose plug. Miley stopped and froze with fear. The lamp wasn't plugged in! This was even more illogical! She got up off the floor and stared at the lamp long and hard. Miley slowly reached towards the lamp, under the shade, and touched the bulb. The lamp then flickered and completely went out! Miley let out a quiet, brief scream.
Miley turned around towards the stairs, about to run up to her room and hide under her bed sheets, then suddenly, A DARK FIGURE MOVED TOWARDS HER! Miley screamed longer and louder this time. The dark figure screamed with her. Miley turned on the lights and saw that it was Jackson, who appeared to be just coming in through the front door. "What's wrong, Miley?" said Jackson loudly. "It's me, your dear brother!" said Jackson sweetly. Miley screamed again. "Ha ha, very funny!" said Jackson sarcastically.
Miley thought by now, Robbie Ray would come downstairs swinging his light up raccoon, but he didn't. He must have slept through it. "What are you doing out so late?" asked Miley accusingly. Miley wondered if Jackson had been out drinking under age, but that was impossible, because his breath didn't smell like beer.
"Hangin' with mah' friends!" said Jackson in a cocky voice. "And let's face it, dad trusts me more than he trusts you. Because you're the baby in the family." Jackson said his last sentence in baby talk as he pinched Miley's cheek.
"I should've known it was you" said Miley. "I can smell your armpits from 20 miles away."
"Say! Thanks, Miles!" said Jackson sincerely.
Miley was puzzled. "Ok, I'm lost" said Miley. "I diss you and you're happy?"
"You said you could smell mah' armpits from 20 miles away!" said Jackson.
"So?" said Miley.
"But when you were six," stated Jackson. "You said you could smell me from 50 miles away!" There was a brief pause. "That's the nicest thing you've said about me all week!" Miley rolled her eyes.
Later, everyone went to bed. Miley had a lot of trouble getting to sleep that night. She kept imagining scary things coming after her in the dark. She was starting to wish Oliver and Lily had been able to spend the night with her. She would have given anything to have them sleeping right by her side, holding her in their arms. Miley eventually got to sleep, but then she had another nightmare. She dreamed Oliver and Lily had spent the night. In her dream, she woke up in the middle of the night, and she put her arms around Lily and Oliver only to discover they were nothing but skeletons! Miley woke up and gasped. She was so scared she had a really dry throat. She sat up, and took a drink of a glass of water she had on her nightstand. She looked around the room. Nothing scary. Miley layed back down. She tried to get back to sleep for 20 minutes, then...the horror continued. Miley started to hear that voice again. "Miley..." said the voice. Miley gasped, sat up, and looked around the room again. Nothing, of course. She layed back down and hid under the sheets. She started to quiver. "Miley," said the voice again. "You're in danger."
Whoa, Miley didn't like the sound of that. Whoever, or whatever the voice was, that sounded particularly threatening. "You're in danger"? Now that was scary! "Miley," said the voice. "You have to be ready."
Ready? For what? What was this voice talking about? Terror tears started to form in Miley's eyes. This was all just too much. Miley wished there was a logical explanation for all this, but there wasn't! There was only one thought that was in Miley's head right now: Ghosts.
Miley got back to sleep later, and this time, she didn't have a nightmare. When she woke up, it was eight o' clock in the morning. The sun had just barely risen over the horizon. It was Saturday. Miley knew Jackson would still be in bed, but she wasn't sure about Robbie Ray. Needless to say, Miley was afraid to get up yet. Right now, she didn't want to walk around the house in the dark. Oh sure, she could turn the lights on, but the contrast in light between inside and outside was still enough to make her uncomfortable. Miley had seen a lot of horror movies, and she never understood why people inside their houses would leave the lights off. Just because it was a horror movie? Please! It didn't make sense!
Miley would like to have someone to talk to, if only to get rid of the lonely, frightening feeling. Even after having sex with Lily and Oliver, the unexplained occurrences made her feel like she was a bachelor with no lovers or friends at all. Miley thought about talking to her dad about this, after all, Robbie Ray was the most understanding person she knew, and he was always the one who cared the most. But then she started to have second thoughts. For one thing, she was afraid Jackson might hear it. If he did, Miley knew he would start making fun of her. He may even start to play a few mean, scary jokes on her. It was bad enough she was dealing with...the real thing. Wait a minute, the real thing? Did Miley really think that? Was she insane? Oh no, this was bad. Was Miley actually starting to believe in ghosts? Just about anyone she told this to would think she's crazy! Hell, even she thought she was crazy! That was another thing; Miley believed in ghosts, monsters, the boogey man, and vampires and whatnot when she was a little kid, and her dad had to "chase the monsters out from under her bed." If she told her dad she believed in ghosts, he probably wouldn't take her seriously, and he would start molly codling her. Robbie Ray had already done enough of that in Miley's teen years. She'd be lucky to ever sleep with Oliver and Lily again!
Miley decided to wait until it started to get brighter, possibly listen for Robbie Ray to get up. There was only one problem. She was starting to get hungry. She really had to have some breakfast. All this fear was making her hungry. So, as much as it scared her, she got out of bed, exited her room, and walked barefoot down the partially dark stairs. When she reached to bottom of the stairs, Miley looked around the room, looking for anything out of the ordinary. So far, everything looked normal. Miley turned on every light in the downstairs area. She started snacking on little food. Before making her real breakfast, Miley approached the stove to make some coffee. When she looked at the tea kettle, she noticed there was a little bit of steam coming out of it. Miley was puzzled. She felt the tea kettle, and OUCH! It was hot! Miley's eyes widened and her jaw dropped with fear. The water was already hot!
Miley went back upstairs. She peeked into Jackson's room. Jackson was still fast asleep. Miley made the same terrified expression she made downstairs. She walked across the hall and looked in Robbie Ray's room. He was still fast asleep. Miley made the same expression again without making a sound. Miley stood in the middle of the hall, silently panicking, looking back and forth, chewing on her nails. If Robbie Ray and Jackson were still in bed, who heated up the water?
A little more than an hour later, the sun came up, and Robbie Ray was downstairs, eating breakfast at the table with Miley. Miley had already finished her breakfast, but she wanted to talk to Robbie Ray. "You wouldn't believe what Jackson did last night, daddy" said Miley.
"Oh no," said Robbie Ray. "He didn't eat my pie, did he?"
"Worse," said Miley. "He came back from his late night outing, walked in through the front door without making a sound, came towards me in the dark, and scared the hell out of me."
"Sweet mercy," said Robbie Ray. "If he came in without makin' a sound, he must be tryin' to get away with somethin'."
"Good god! I thought he was a burglar!" lied Miley. The truth was, Miley thought he was a ghost. "He made me scream bloody murder!"
"Wait a minute," said Robbie Ray feeling concerned. "You screamed and I didn't hear it?"
"'Fraid so, daddy," said Miley. "I don't know how you slept through it."
"Oh no," said Robbie Ray sadly. Robbie Ray got up from his seat. Miley knew he was about to hug her, and Miley really could have used some comfort, so she got up too. They hugged. "Livin' in a city like this," stated Robbie Ray. "If I can't hear mah' baby girl scream, Idunno' how I would rescue you." Normally, Miley would get mad at her dad for calling her his "baby girl", because the word "baby" was an implication that she was one. But that was exactly how Miley felt right now. Believing in ghosts, she really did feel like a "baby." The hug lasted a while, then Robbie Ray parted it, but Miley still held on. "It's OK, bud," said Robbie Ray. "You did your part, you don't need ta' hug yer' daddy any more'n that."
"Yes, I do" said Miley half tearful.
"Awww..." said Robbie Ray as he re-embraced Miley. "Wow, somethin' musta' really gotten inta' you."
"You have no idea" said Miley still half tearful. Robbie Ray started to get a little worried. Miley was obviously feeling bad about something, but she didn't say anything about it. Robbie Ray thought that maybe it was something she didn't want him to know. With the way he had been respecting Miley's privacy and giving her more freedom, and not being so overprotective of her, he decided not to ask. But Robbie Ray couldn't help but wonder if maybe...she was trying to send him a hidden message.
Later that day, Miley was on the beach with Lily. After the nightmare Miley had the night before, it was comforting to see Lily alive and in full flesh. They were sitting at a picnic table, and Lily was telling Miley about something that happened earlier that week that she was really exited about, which she forgot to tell Miley before. "I was like 'give me the ball, Joanie!'" said Lily. "Joanie was like 'if you want the ball, come and get it!' So then I start wrestling her for the ball, all of a sudden she starts giggling, and before I knew it, we were horse playing in our bare feet! She eventually tackled me into the sand, pinning me right on my back, pretty much laying on top of me, I was really laughing, then Joanie says 'you're really fun to play with, Lily', and she winks at me! Yeeeeeeep!"
Miley's reaction was very weak. She just smiled and said "That's very romantic, Lily."
Lily looked back at Miley with uncertainty. "Miley, are you OK?" asked Lily. "You don't sound very exited."
Miley was afraid to tell virtually anyone about her "haunted house", and she was afraid to even tell her dad. But Miley decided she had to tell someone. Lily was the next person she trusted as much as her dad. "Actually, Lily," Miley stated. "There's been something really uncomfortable on my mind lately. I really enjoy being with you and Oliver, but there's something that's been making me feel like a child, and like I'm all alone."
Lily made a concerned expression. "What's wrong, Miley?" asked Lily as she put her hands on either side of Miley's face.
Miley hesitated. "I'm afraid you wouldn't believe me if I told you" said Miley.
Lily gave Miley a kiss. "Try me" said Lily gently after the kiss parted. Miley took a deep breath, and began. She told Lily about all of the illogical, horrifying things that had been happening at her house. She also told her about her nightmares. It took her about ten minutes. Lily didn't interrupt her at all. By the time Miley had finished explaining, Lily wasn't touching Miley anymore. "Miley," said Lily. "Do you...hear yourself?" Miley buried her face in her hands. She knew Lily wouldn't believe her. "You say you've been having a lot of nightmares," said Lily. "And those other things were probably all just nightmares too! That's it, for the next six months, when we go to the movies, no more horror movies!"
"Lily!" said Miley half tearful. "You're my BFF and GF! I thought you said you'd always understand me!"
"Yeah! But I never thought you'd be believing in ghosts!" said Lily.
Just then, Oliver arrived on the beach. He walked up to Miley and Lily. "Hey there, kitty cats!" flirted Oliver. "Your dog is here!" Oliver pretended to bark like a dog, then gave Miley a flirty wolf howl. Miley screamed and shielded her eyes. Oliver was puzzled. "Gee, was my wolf howl really that bad?" said Oliver.
"Oliver, you're not going to believe this!" said Lily in a humorous, ridiculing voice. "Miley thinks her house is haunted!"
"Haunted?" said Oliver. Lily nodded. "You mean like...with ghosts?" said Oliver.
"Yeah!" said Lily still ridiculing. "She keeps telling me stuff about having nightmares, hearing voices, and other things happening in her house that have no logical explanation!"
Oliver looked at Miley briefly. "Miley," said Oliver. "You mean to tell me you actually believe in such gibberish?"
"Yeeeeeeees!" said Miley in a panicky, tearful voice.
Oliver gave Miley a ridiculing look for a few seconds, but then he opened his arms and said sweetly "THAT IS SO CUTE!" With that, Oliver hugged Miley tightly. Miley returned the embrace, savoring the comfort Oliver was giving her. When Oliver broke off the hug, he still had his arms around Miley. "You know, Miley," he said. "I can relate. It's not uncommon that late at night, when everyone else is asleep, my imagination gets the best of me, and, I start to think about horror. When the lights are down, and the shadows are at large, I start to imagine all kinds of scary things jumping out at me in the dark!" Miley really appreciated these things Oliver was telling her. "And let me tell you," Oliver continued. "I've always wanted a sensitive girl. There's this one T.V. show, 'Kathy's Life', starring a young girl, and in one episode, she was going through something similar to what you're going through! She was afraid of the dark, she was afraid of thunder and lightning, and she believed in the undead! Just like a little kid! It was adorable!" Oliver gave Miley a kiss on each cheek, hugged her, and ran his hands along her back as Miley held onto Oliver tightly. "Don't worry, Miley muffin," said Oliver in baby talk. "I'm not gonna' let no ghosts get you!"
"Well," said Miley half tearfully during the last hug. "At least somebody's giving me emotional support!" said Miley as she angrily looked at Lily. Oliver and Miley still had their arms around each other when the hug parted. "So..." said Miley. "You believe me?"
Oliver hesitated. "Uhhhh, hummm..." said Oliver. There was a brief pause. "Tough question" said Oliver sheepishly.
Miley pushed Oliver away. "How can I do anything about this if my own friends won't believe me?"
"Oh please, you're fine, Miley," said Lily. "There are no such things as ghosts."
"Well," stated Oliver. "If it's really bothering you, why don't you talk to your dad?"
"If I tell my dad," said Miley. "He'll treat me like a kid until my kids have kids!"
Oliver patted Miley on the shoulder and smiled. "He won't live that long" assured Oliver jokingly.
"Miley," said Lily. "You said you've been having nightmares, and I'm telling you, those illogical things that happened in your house were dreams too!"
"Lily," said Miley. "When you're dreaming, you can't always tell if it's real. But I think I can tell when I'm awake!"
"I don't know," said Lily doubtfully. "Sometimes I think I'm dreaming when I'm awake. I mean, how do you know this isn't a dream?"
Suddenly, Lily gave Miley a wide eyed glare as she vibrated her head. Miley was starting to get very uncomfortable, just like she had been at home. "Lily," said Miley on the verge of fright. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I'm not Lily!" said Lily in a monstrous voice.
Miley screamed, got up, and she started to run away, but Oliver grabbed her arm. "Miley! Miley! Please!" said Oliver. "She's just messing with you."
Miley breathed a dire sigh of relief and sat back down. There was a moment of silence. "Miley," said Oliver. "Tell me about these unexplained events at your house."
"I was the only person downstairs and the toilet flushed all by itself!" said Miley.
"Well," said Oliver. "Then maybe there's something wrong with the system. You may need to call a plumber."
"That lamp on the end table was turned on," said Miley. "And I discovered a loose plug behind it! It wasn't plugged in!"
"Are you sure the loose plug wasn't for that one automatic light timer hooked up to the big lamp?" said Oliver.
"No, but-..." said Miley followed by a scoff. "The water in the tea kettle, on the stove, was already hot when my daddy and Jackson hadn't even gotten up yet!"
"Well," said Oliver. "Maybe one of them got up only to realize they were still tired and went back to bed!"
Miley squinted her eyes and clenched her teeth briefly. "And to top it all off," said Miley. "I heard a woman's voice calling out my name and trying to send me messages while I was in bed! Twice!"
Oliver's eyes suddenly widened in fear. He looked to the side and scratched his head briefly. Oliver looked back at Miley. "Gee, well, now that I can't explain!" said Oliver.
Miley turned in her seat so that her sides were facing Lily and Oliver. She had look of defeat. Lily kissed Miley on the cheek. "What was that for?" asked Miley.
There was a two second pause, then Lily said "Just because you believe in ghosts doesn't mean I don't love you anymore." Miley made a happy, timid smile.
"OK, Lily," said Oliver. "On three..." Oliver counted to three on his fingers, then Oliver and Lily both gave Miley a kiss on either cheek at the same time, each with an intimate, verbal noise. Miley giggled.
"Tell you what, Miley," said Lily. "Whether these 'ghosts' are real or not, if it makes you feel any better, I'll come with you to Traci's party tonight. I'll try to be nice to her, and maybe it'll help you take your mind off all this."
"I'll come too" said Oliver.
Miley made a much brighter smile, then put her arms around Lily and Oliver and said "I love you guys!"
That night, Hannah Montana, Lola Luftnangle, and Mike Stan Lee III went to a celebrity party. It was a party held by Traci Vanhorn, Hannah's celebrity friend. Hannah and Lola wore some very sexy outfits. They were wearing skimpy tops showing cleavage. They had entered the foyer. "I'm telling you, Hannah," said Lola. "All you need to feel better is to feel a lot of life around you. You're a celebrity, for God's sake! Celebrities get to go to the most pleasant places imaginable!"
"Yeah," said Mike. "Try not to think about all that death waiting for you at home."
Hannah looked at Mike angrily. "You had to plant that in my head!" Mike quickly embraced Hannah and kissed her. "Ok, all better" said Hannah with a smile.
They entered the room where the party was, and WOW! It looked amazing! There were tropical decorations all over the place! There were a couple of big, plastic sea horses. There was a big, stuffed, blue gorilla wearing sunglasses, standing in between two palm trees, smiling and giving a thumbs up signal. There were several fish tanks with fish and a few exotic sea creatures! There was a 6 foot tall plastic flamingo wearing sunglasses, on skates, holding a boom box. There was a life size elephant sculpture, palm trees all over the place, and there were two bubble blowing machines! It was beautiful! "WOA!" shouted Lola. "This is so cool!"
"Gee," said Hannah. "It's nice being a celebrity."
Just then, Traci came up to Hannah. "Hannah!" greeted Traci. Traci and Hannah gave each other a kiss on each cheek. "Mike!" greeted Traci turning to Mike. Traci and Mike gave each other a kiss on each cheek. "Lola!" greeted Traci to Lola. Traci kissed one of Lola's cheeks, Lola didn't kiss her back, then Traci stopped herself before delivering the second kiss. Lola gave Traci a shocked, disgusted look.
"Traci?" said Lola.
"Oops," said Traci embarrassed. "Sorry, I was...on a roll."
"Traci," said Hannah. "This place looks awesome!"
"It does!" said Traci. "And Hannah, you're never going to believe who's here!"
"Who?" said Hannah exited.
"Gary Rithgow, from 'Let's Hang Out'!"
"Ah!" exclaimed Hannah in a high pitched tone. "I am a huge fan of that show! I can't wait to meet him!" Traci suddenly covered her ears with an annoyed expression. Hannah was puzzled. Hannah pulled one of Traci's hands off her ear. "Why are you covering your ears?" asked Hannah.
Traci uncovered her ears. "Because this is the part where Lola usually starts screaming like an idiot" said Traci.
Lola looked at Traci offendedly. Lola said "Well, gee, when's the part when you-..."
"You promissed you'd be nice to her!" whispered Mike to Lola.
Mike was right. Lola did promise Hannah she would be nice to Traci. All to make sure Hannah had a good enough time to make up for all the terror she had been going through at home. Lola had to do this, for Hannah. Lola took a deep breath. "Uh, yeah!" said Lola with a forced smile. "I do get really exited over famous people. Who wouldn't? EE!"
"Yes," said Traci. "And you'll have to loose that blissful squeaking before a star puts out a restraining order against you, blue hair!"
Lola closed in on Hannah. "The things I do for you" complained Lola.
Later, Hannah was separated from Lola and Mike, and she was with Traci. Hannah noticed a little display in the room they were in. It was a big pile of pillows with a sign that said "Pillow Mound." Hannah wondered what it was for. "Pillow mound?" said Hannah. "What's this for?"
Traci smiled. "Move a little closer to it and I'll show you" said Traci. Hannah did as directed, and Traci pushed Hannah right onto the pillows! Next, Traci kneeled onto the pillows next to Hannah, picked up one of the pillows, and started hitting Hannah with it as she and Hannah giggled. Hannah picked up her own pillow and started hitting Traci with it. They played for a while as a bunch of guys started to gawk at them (and a few girls). The onlookers cheered them on and laughed. Of course, Hannah and Traci knew they weren't laughing as a sign of dominance, they were laughing because it drove them crazy, filling their hearts with bliss. Hannah and Traci jumped on each other a few times as they whacked each other. In the process, Hannah and Traci's sandals came off, and they were doing it barefoot as there boobs bounced! The gawkers loved this! One time, Traci hit Hannah hard enough to make her fall on her back, Hannah kicked in the air, and ended up sticking her feet in Traci's face!
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the gawkers cheered. They loved Hannah and Traci's giggling too!
Hannah and Traci paused to catch their breath briefly. "Hey, Traci," said Hannah. "Are you wearing anything under that shirt?"
Traci was intimidated, but goofy. "No...why?" said Traci with a nervous, goofy grin. There was a two second pause, then Hannah lunged at Traci and started trying to pull off her luxurious shirt! "Oh no-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!" said Traci with laughter as she struggled with Hannah.
Hannah loved Traci, but still not the same way she loved Lola and Mike. After all, she knew them as more than just Lola and Mike, she knew them as Lily and Oliver.
Meanwhile, Lola and Mike were together. They were both sipping some punch when Mike suddenly dropped his cup, looked straight ahead, and exclaimed "OOOOHHHHH!"
"What are you 'OOOHHH'-ing about?" said Lola loudly.
"BRIDGET MENDLER!" shouted Mike exited.
Lola looked where Mike was looking, and sure enough, there was Lemonade Mouth's BRIDGET MENDLER! "AAAGGGGGHHHH!" Lola screamed with joy.
Lola and Mike both ran up to Bridget Mendler in the form of a flying hug. They both grabbed onto either side of her. Bridget giggled as they did this. Suddenly, Mike pulled Bridget towards him. "Hey! She's mine!" said Mike to Lola. "I saw her first!"
"But I screamed at her first!" said Lola pulling Bridget towards her.
"You did not!" said Mike pulling Bridget towards him.
"Whoa! Whoa!" shouted Bridget. "Boys! Boys! Bo-..." Before Bridget could say the word a third time, she looked at Lola and hesitated. "Wow," said Bridget. "This is unusual." There was a brief pause. "Anyway, people! People!" said Bridget cheerfully. "Stop playing tug-o-war! There's plenty of me to go around for both of you!" Bridget put her arms around Mike and Lola.
Later, there was a big crowd watching a few friends of celebrities dance on a stage. There was music playing. They went on for a while, then they left the stage, and it was time for Bridget Mendler to dance! Everyone cheered so much louder when Bridget came on stage. Her dancing was very charming. Before too long, Bridget made her finale move, and everyone cheered. Bridget looked down into the audience. "Hey, Mike! Lola!" called Bridget. "Come on up here!"
"AGH!" screamed Lola happily. "What a party!"
Lola got on stage, but Mike stayed put. "Come on, Mike!" called Bridget.
"Oh, no no no no," said Mike nervously. "Honestly, I can't dance."
"I love you, Mike!" flirted Bridget with a giving gesture. Mike gasped happily, then got up on stage in an instant. Bridget, Lola, and Mike started dancing in the form of a threesome. Mike had his arms around Bridget's back, and Bridget had her arms around Mike's neck. At the same time, Lola had her arms around Bridget's neck, from behind her. Before too long, Mike made a move. He stopped dancing, and Bridget stopped dancing as well, then they both shared a long kiss! Lola, who kind of felt left out, forcibly turned Bridget around. Lola put one arm around Bridget's back, and the other on top of her head. She looked at Bridget sternly, then gave her an aggressive dip kiss! Lola was all over her! Bridget was so overwhelmed that she looked as if she was struggling to get loose! The crowd cheered. When the kiss parted, Bridget was sweating as she panted and fanned her mouth. Of course, she did smile afterwords. "You know, for a girl, you're a pretty good kisser!" said Bridget to Lola.
"EE! EE!" squeaked Lola blissfully. Damn, thought Lola. Why can't the real world be like this? Next, Hannah and Gary Rithgow came and danced on stage! The crowd cheered more. Hannah and Gary danced. At one point, they did a rather provocative dance move. They moved as if they were having anal sex! The crowd cheered. After that, Gary lifted Hannah up as Hannah hooked her legs around Gary's waist. Gary started bobbing Hannah up and down repeatedly. As they did this move, Bridget was smacking Hannah's ass every time she came down!
When Gary put Hannah down, Hannah did a little solo dancing. The audience was really impressed! "Allison Stoner, eat your heart out!" yelled Hannah.
Just then, there was a voice on a microphone. "OK," said the voice. "Everyone move away from Hannah briefly!" Hannah, who seemed to be expecting this, smiled and pushed her chest out to the audience with her arms behind her. In the middle of the audience, there was a man with a hose! The man squirted Hannah with the hose, making her boobs dripping wet! The crowd cheered. Hannah then did some dancing that caused her wet boobs to bounce. The audience loved this!
Eventually, the guys in the audience started chanting "TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!"
Hannah stopped dancing and laughed nervously. "Uh," said Hannah. "I would take it off, except if I do that, a lot of people in the media are going to be saying mean, nasty things about me."
"BOOOOOO!" said the crowd.
"Which are mainly a bunch of bitchy ladies who don't believe in being sexy!" said Hannah.
Then, to Hannah's surprise, the girls started chanting "TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!"
Hannah smiled at the audience. "Wellllll!" said Hannah pleasantly. "Looks like we have a lot more sexy girls than I thought we did!" The audience cheered. Hannah started to do some provocative dancing. Then, she put her hand behind her back, unhooked her top, and COMEPLETELY REMOVED IT! The crowd went wild! Hannah danced so that her bare, dripping wet boobs were bouncing all over the place! She did this for about three minutes, then Gary Rithgow came up to her and started kissing her while squeezing her boobs! Then Gary started sucking her niples! "Woooooooooooooooooo!" cheered Hannah along with the crowd. Now this was living! Hannah figured this was what her song "This is the Life" meant. This was one awesome night! Hannah loved the attention! Not once during this party did ghosts or any other supernatural creatures pop into her head.
Suddenly, this wild party was brought to an end. A young guy with a microphone and a cell phone barged onto the stage and yelled "OK, OK, cut the music! Cut the music! Everybody freeze!"
The music stopped. "BOOOOOOO!" said the crowd.
"No no no, listen!" said the guy. "I got something to say!" There was a brief pause. The guy looked on his cell phone and said "An insider says...Hannah Montana had sex with K Rap Rodriguez!" Everyone else in the room gasped! Hannah, who was outraged at this announcement, quickly put her top back on. "Hannah was seen exiting a hotel room," said the messenger. "With K Rap Rodriguez, holding hands, and kissing!"
"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!" the audience exclaimed in shock.
"Hannah, you slut!" yelled one of the guys in the audience.
"Hannah, you're a mean girl!" yelled another guy.
"I honestly thought you were better than that, Hannah!" yelled a girl.
"Why Hannah?" said another girl. "Why?"
"Gimmie' that mic!" said Hannah as she snatched the microphone out of the messenger's hand. "I did not have sex with K Rap Rodriguez!" yelled Hannah angrily. "I wouldn't have sex with that jerkoff if I were all alone with him at the North Pole!" Hannah turned to the messenger. "Where the hell did you get that piece of information?" yelled Hannah.
"Hey!" said the messenger. "Don't kill the messenger!"
"I believe you, Hannah!" said a guy in the audience.
"Me too!" said another guy. "A girl as sweet as you would never fall for a bad boy! I LOVE YOU!"
"You're my favorite pop star Hannah!" said a girl. "You would never betray us!"
"I believe you, Hannah!" said another girl. "And...I LOVE YOU TOO!"
"HANNAH'S A SLUT! HANNAH'S A SLUT!" chanted half the room.
"HANNAH DIDN'T DO IT! HANNAH DIDN'T DO IT!" chanted the other half of the room.
Hannah turned to her lovers, Bridget, and Gary. "Guys?" said Hannah helplessly.
"Hannah, of course we believe you" said Lola patting Hannah's bare shoulder.
"Yeah" said Mike putting his hand on Hannah's other shoulder.
"I believe you too!" said Bridget.
"Well, I don't!" said Gary as he walked off stage. Hannah scoffed.
Suddenly, Traci came on stage. She gave Hannah a stern look. "Traci," said Hannah. "I know this sounds bad, but-..."
"How could you, Hannah?" accused Traci. "With everything I know about you, everything you stand for! You would get jiggy with an asshole like K Rap Rodriguez?"
"But Traci!" said Hannah sounding emotional. "I didn't!"
"This party is for sweet, sensitive people who still like to enjoy life," stated Traci. "But apparently you just 'like to enjoy life.'"
"Traci," said Hannah. "You're talking crazy! You're acting like you don't want to be my friend anymore!" Traci touched her nose with her index finger. "So," said Hannah quietly. "You really don't believe me?" As many people that were in the room, there was a moment of silence. Traci glared at Hannah. "Bye," said Hannah quietly and emotionally. "I'm really going to miss you."
With that, Hannah left the stage and started walking out of the room. "Hannah, wait!" called Mike. Mike and Lola tried to follow Hannah, but it was no use. Just before Hannah exited the room, she stopped, and looked back at Traci, then she left the party.
Later that night, Hannah arrived home, and Robbie Ray was waiting for her on the couch. Robbie Ray approached Hannah. "Darlin'," said Robbie Ray. "I'm sorry about what happened to you at the party."
"You mean...?" said Hannah.
"Apparently the press can write purty' fast" said Robbie Ray. "I got an email for 'em. They told me every word you said, and I just wanna' let you know, I'm on yer' side." Hannah made a sad expression and she and Robbie Ray hugged. When the hug parted, their arms were still around each other. "If we all work together," said Robbie Ray. "We can try and beat this thang'." Hannah gave Robbie Ray an emotional nod, then they hugged again.
Stay tuned for chapter 2: "Speaking to the Undead"