Part 1
You and me, we made a vow
For better or for worse
I can't believe you let me down
But the proof's in a way it hurts
For months on end I've had my doubts
Denying every tear
I wish this would be over now
But I know that I still need you here
You say I'm crazy
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done
But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one
You've been so unavailable
Now sadly I know why
Your heart is unobtainable
Even though Lord knows you have mine
You say I'm crazy
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done
But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one
I have loved you for many years
Maybe I am just not enough
You've made me realize my deepest fear
By lying and tearing us up
You say I'm crazy
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done
But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one
You say I'm crazy
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done
But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one
I know I'm not the only one
I know I'm not the only one
And I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, know
I know I'm not the only one
Sam Smith, "I'm Not The Only One"
Jean-Luc glances up from his worn paper book at the sound of the chime, intrigued. He had not been anticipating any visitors at this hour. "Come."
The captain of the USS Stargazer had not been expecting the young medical student that married his friend and junior officer the year prior when she steps through the door. Rising out of his seat, Jean-Luc cannot help but smile at Beverly Crusher.
"Hello, Captain. Am I disturbing you?" the twenty-five year-old senior medical student at the Academy inquires tentatively, pausing as the cabin door closes behind her.
"Not at all," Jean-Luc assures her, stepping forward to greet her. "Uh, Jack mentioned you would be visiting. Where's the boy?"
Raising a brow, Beverly takes a hesitant step forward. "Wesley? I…uh…I didn't bring him."
"Ah. I see," Jean-Luc smiles painfully. Jack had purposefully booked off three days of shifts in anticipation of Beverly's visit, citing that he had not seen his wife in three months. Now Jean-Luc can appreciate why the young man would want to free up his schedule when his young bride came aboard sans baby.
Lacing her fingers nervously, Beverly looks at the captain hopefully. "Do you have a moment we could talk?"
"Certainly." Jean-Luc gestures to the sofa, inviting her in.
Awkwardly, Beverly moves to perch on the sofa.
"What's wrong?" Jean-Luc inquires, sitting next to her on the sofa. The young woman's behaviour is completely out of character. She is reserved, somber, slightly confused.
"Jack's having an affair," Beverly confesses evenly, wringing her hands.
Flabbergasted, Jean-Luc takes a moment to process her revelation. "I beg your pardon?"
Face plagued in misery, Beverly can hardly look at Jean-Luc. "It's been going on since before the wedding. I guess…I guess she thought he was going to leave me for her. When she realized it wasn't going to happen, she started to feel terrible about the whole thing. She realized I wasn't a horrible wife, that I was waiting at home with a baby while Jack was messing around with her. Her guilt got to her and she finally caved. She contacted me and confessed the whole thing."
Floored, Jean-Luc tries to find the right words. "Beverly, I am…I am truly sorry."
"You had no idea this was going on here? Jack never…talked about it, made a dirty little joke?" Beverly raises a brow, finding it hard to believe that Jack would not confide in his captain, chide along with his best chum.
Shaking his head vehemently, Jean-Luc looks at her directly. "I had no idea. I can't believe Jack would do such a thing."
Bowing her head, tears well in Beverly's blue eyes. "I'm such an idiot."
Jean-Luc inches closer, putting a hand on her back trepidatiously. "You are most definitely not. What happened when you confronted Jack?"
Scoffing, Beverly swipes at her tear tracks. "We blew up. I was furious. He screamed. God, Jean-Luc, I can't believe it. I think it's over. What am I gonna do?"
"It's not over," assures Jean-Luc. "Look, there's no question what Jack did was horrendous. This doesn't necessarily mean your marriage is irreparable if you want to salvage your relationship. You love him, don't you?"
Blubbering, Beverly bobs her head. "Of course. Not so much right now. But, I do. He's my son's father."
"Slow down and take a breath," encourages Jean-Luc, rubbing her back in a circular pattern. "Don't do anything hasty. You need time to process this."
"I'm just such a fool," exclaims Beverly, burying her head in her palms. "I should have seen this coming. I thought he was unhappy."
Inhaling sharply, Jean-Luc's hand wanders aimlessly as he caresses her back. "You couldn't have foreseen it. You're the furthest thing from a fool."
"Maybe this was me. Maybe it was my fault," posits Beverly, lifting her head. "I was so far away. How could we build a new family when we were so far apart?"
Incredulous, Jean-Luc halts his soothing motion. "What? How are his actions your fault?"
"I should have been there for him in these critical beginning stages of our marriage," Beverly elaborates.
"How?" Jean-Luc challenges. "We can't permit families on the ship, Beverly. Besides, you have your school to finish. You're going to be a doctor."
Sighing, Beverly is thoroughly fluxed, angry, in pain and shocked. "I don't know."
Taking her hand, Jean-Luc leans in close, fixing his gaze on hers. "Listen carefully: This is in no way your fault, Beverly."
Resting her forehead against his, Beverly takes a steadying breath, revelling in her friend's calm, strong presence. "Thank you, Jean-Luc. I'm so glad to have you here."
Running his hand up her arm, Jean-Luc smiles. "I'm always here for you."
With her free hand, Beverly gently cups his cheek, closing the distance between their lips. Pressing her lips to his, Beverly closes her eyes, savouring the intimacy she has lacked for so long.
Swallowing hard, Jean-Luc studies Beverly's inviting expression, hesitant and reserved. "Beverly…"
Grazing his cheek, Beverly reopens her eyes. "Jean-Luc, I'm dying inside."
Sliding his hand down her arm to lace their fingers, Jean-Luc grimaces. "This will only exacerbate your problems, Beverly."
Biting her lip, Beverly stares desperately into his patient, empathetic eyes. She moves her hand from his cheek and drops it to his thigh, splaying her fingers slowly. "I need you right now. Please…"
Drawing back, Jean-Luc reluctantly removes her hand from his thigh, almost biting back a groan. "You know this isn't the solution. You're upset. You're not thinking clearly."
Tears pooling in her eyes, Beverly averts her eyes, embarrassed.
Standing off of the sofa, Jean-Luc sighs. "You're staying here tonight. Don't go anywhere. I've got a…an assignment, but it won't take long. Just…make yourself comfortable."
Watching his retreating form to the cabin door, Beverly crumples into the sofa, completely ashamed.