Disclaimer: Sadly not mine. A girl can dream, though...
"Tonks, I need to speak with you."
"Shoot."
"You may wish to sit down, Tonks. This is an intervention."
"Er, all right... What is this about?"
"AHEM. Tonks, you are a strong, courageous, independent, and seriously spunky Auror. That is why I like and respect you. But it has become clear to me that you have been having some problems lately."
"Problems! I'm fine -"
"QUIET! I have surmised from your recent patterns of moping and crying that you have been turned down by someone you were interested in."
"Er -"
"It has been over two weeks, Tonks. Now repeat after me. No guy is worth this kind of depression."
"...I guess you're right. No guy is worth this kind of depression."
"I am a confident, exuberant woman. I don't need him."
"I am a confident, exuberant woman. I - don't think I need him."
"Hmmph. I will go to Hogsmeade tonight, dressed in a very slinky outfit."
"I will – wait, what?"
"SAY IT."
"Sigh. I will go to Hogsmeade tonight, dressed in a very slinky outfit."
"I will flirt like mad."
"Oh dear. I'll try."
"You'd better! Or else!"
"...Or else what?"
"I would spray paint your first name over every wall in the building. And I would tell the house elves they couldn't clean it up or I would start knitting again."
"You wouldn't!"
"You'd be surprised at what I am willing to do to get what I want, Nymphadora."
"Oh, you're evil. But I guess it's good advice."
"It's wonderful advice. Now say it after me. Hermione knows best."
"Hermione knows best."
"Good Nymphie. Oh, don't even think about it! I get certain privileges for the advice I give."
"Grumble."
"Excellent. You've got an hour and a half before I bring you to Hogsmeade. Hot shower, hot dress, hot hair, get it?"
"Got it!"
"Good."
"Er, one thing..."
"Yes?"
"If I do this, you have to do something in return."
"Hmm. And what might that be?"
"Get up your own courage and kiss whatever bloke you fancy... Where are you flooing to?"
"Diagon Alley."
"...Why?"
"Why, Nymphadora... You did just tell me to snog Fred Weasley."