(If you just want the story and don't care about my openers or closers, then just skip ahead to the area not in bold. That's the actual story)
Me: Um…hello everyone.
Yakko: AK! You're doing it! You're writing a fic for us!
Me: Well I had this idea in my head so I thought I'd take advantage of it.
Wakko: Welcome to the Animaniacs, AK. I'm sure Spielberg would love you if he ever got the chance to meet you.
Slappy: Eh, I've read your other stories, AK. Just one question. How come you got no older folk in there? The oldest person you got is only thirty years old and he's an idiot!
Skippy: Um…are we even in this story, Aunt Slappy?
Slappy: Who cares? We're here anyway. We might as well read it.
Dot: I think it's about us three. The Warners.
Me: In fact it is, Dot. I've never done a story in this universe before and I thought I'd try it with the three stars of the show before moving on to others.
Runt: You should do me and Rita next. Definitely do me and Rita next.
Rita: The only reason I like AK is because he likes to add music to his fics. But I don't see a song in this one.
Me: Precisely, Rita. No song in this one. Just a story. But that's enough of that. Let's get on with it. Does anyone here want to do the disclaimer?
Everyone: No.
Me: Alright then. We'll do it the same way me and the Sonic cast do it. NOT IT!
Everyone: NOT IT!
Wakko: Huh? Oh man. Here it goes. AK doesn't own me, my brother and sister, or any other characters in this world. We all have pay or play contracts with Warner Brothers.
Me: You heard him folks. And just to introduce myself. I'm AutoKnight01. But I like to be called "AK" for short. I mostly write fics in the Sonic the Hedgehog universe and I'm well known there. I just thought I'd give this a shot in this universe. And I haven't done a one-shot ever since 2009. So let's see if I still got it. Enjoy! And just one more thing. These guys constantly broke the fourth wall in the show and they will here too.
It Could Be Worse
Burbank California. Home to some of the most famous people in all of the United States of America. And it's also home to the studio lot belonging to a group called the Warner Brothers. Movie makers of a great time. And in that lot, there was a tower. A water tower. But it wasn't exactly a water tower anymore. The water was drained out of it so it could take on a new assignment.
That tower became the beloved home to three of the craziest kids one will ever meet. The Warners. Those three kids terrorized the people who worked on that lot even though they had no idea they were doing it. They just want to have a good time. Is that really too much to ask for? They didn't think so. But every time they got out of that tower, everyone became afraid for their lives sometimes. In the Warner's defense, most of them were probably overreacting.
These three kids, not a lot is known about them. All that's out there is their names and the fact that they are incredibly zany. First up in the roster was Yakko. The oldest one out of the three. He was around ten to eleven years of age and was considered to be the official guardian of his younger brother and sister. And apparently he was doing a good job. His brother was Wakko. Literally. Wakko was a nut job. He could do all sorts of crazy things in seconds and ate almost anything he got his hands on. And then there was Dot. The cute baby sister of the trio. She was adorable to most people when she wasn't her insane self. But those were rare occasions. Either way, she was a cutie.
Right now, it was a beautiful Saturday afternoon. And Wakko and Dot decided to go to the mall and go shopping. Dot was looking for some new clothes and Wakko went to the candy store. Yakko decided to stay home and catch up on his reading. His "reading" however, consisted of looking at Hollywood magazines to see who and what was hot this month.
"What do ya mean Megan Fox isn't gonna be in Transformers 3?" Yakko remarked as he read one of the articles. "Due to issues with Michael Bay, Megan Fox will not be in the cast of Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Now how about that? I wonder who's gonna take her place. Let's see here. Rosie Huntington-Whitely? Must be some new talent from the south side. What does she even look like anyway?"
With another turn of the page, Yakko got the answer.
"HELLOOOOOOOOOO NURSE! What's her character's name? Carly? Aw come on, Hasbro! Think of a new name! Carly was used back in their eighties!"
Now, the strange thing about these three kids. No matter how much time goes by, they never get older in age. Their bodies literally never get older. They stay the same age. Yakko had always been ten, Wakko's always been seven, and Dot has always remained a cute six year old. But chronologically, they were all somewhere in their mid to late sixties. No one was quite sure how that was even possible, but they hardly paid it any mind nowadays.
As Yakko turned the page, the door to the tower flew open and Dot and Wakko stormed through it with both of them sporting very angry looks directed at one another. None of them even noticed that Yakko was within earshot or even in the same room as them.
"You know you didn't have to be so rude to me outside the beauty salon!" Dot shouted.
"ME rude to YOU?" Wakko shouted back. "All I did was come up and say hello!"
"With your mouth full of candy!" Dot yelled. "You completely humiliated me in front of the most handsome guy I've ever met!"
"Oh you didn't have a chance with him! I know what he was going to do! He was gonna pretend to be interested in what you were saying, and then blow you off! Just like the last TEN males you've had interest in!"
"All those other guys got scared off by you too! Remember last week? The grocery store! I was having just a nice conversation with a guy and I might have asked for his number. And then you come up to us and then shove your armpits in his face asking if you needed to start using Old Spice! Who does stuff like that?"
"Hey I might hit puberty sooner than you think!"
"You know, my love life would go a lot smoother if I didn't have a brother who was such a slob!"
And then Wakko had it.
"Is that so? Well you know what, Dot? My life would be just plain simpler and easier if I didn't have a sister at all!"
A gasp escaped from Dot's mouth and Yakko's eyes just went wide as that line exited Wakko's lips. Wakko himself was shocked he even had the audacity even say something like that. But he wasn't sorry he said it. He was dead serious and his tone backed it up.
And then Dot's eyes began to well up with tears.
"Well it's nice to know how you really feel about me!"
With that, Dot ran to her room sobbing and she dropped her bags from the mall. The door slammed behind her and the tower actually shook a bit from the impact. Then Wakko went over to the kitchen to put the contents of his own bags away. Mostly what he bought was all junk food. Candy, chips, popcorn, etcetera. He jammed every bit of what he got into the cabinets and slammed them all shut.
"Uuhhhhh…."
That noise came from Yakko. And it was finally then Wakko realized he was there. He turned around to see him sitting on the couch with the same magazine in his hand.
"How long have you been there?" he asked in that accent of his.
"Take a wild guess." Was what Yakko said back.
Wakko just sighed as he realized Yakko heard everything he just said. Especially that last line. Yakko sat himself up on the couch so there was room on the couch for one more.
"Sit down. Let's talk." He insisted.
"I'm not really in the talking mood." Wakko responded.
As Wakko started to walk away, Yakko reached behind his back and pulled something out of nowhere. It was a giant magnet with the words, "ACME Wakko Magnet" etched into it. There was a switch to turn it on and Yakko flipped it. Wakko froze in mid step and then he was pulled back by the force of the magnet and became stuck to it.
"It's funny. Because I really don't care." Yakko responded as he turned the magnet off and Wakko plopped his butt on the couch.
Then Yakko tossed the magnet away and the conversation began.
"Alright. I think it's safe to say we've all been in enough sessions with Scratchy to know how this works." Yakko was going to try and give it a shot being like Dr. Scratchansniff. "So Wakko….what's going on?"
With a sigh knowing he wasn't going to let this go, Wakko began to talk.
"Okay. Here's what happened. Dot and I split up for a few minutes to go look at different things. When I found her again, she was talking to some guy. All I did was just go up and say hello. That's it!"
Yakko knew there was more to that story than what Wakko was saying out loud.
"Dot said your mouth was full. Is that true?"
Wakko took in another sigh.
"Okay. MAYBE I had one or two tiny pieces of candy in my mouth at the time. That was all. I don't know what she's getting all bent out of shape for."
"Wakko, I think Dot might have a point here."
"You're siding with her?"
"I'm not siding with anyone. All I'm saying is that I've seen you act that way too." Yakko pointed out.
"What are you talking about?" Wakko thought he had nothing on him.
"Remember two weeks ago after we just finished that new Wakkorotti skit? Dot was talking to some guy and then you went over and said hello. Do you happen to remember what you said?"
The middle Warner child remembered that day very clearly. The second he saw Dot talking with that guy, he went up and told that guy Dot didn't stop sucking her thumb till she was five. And that was the most completely random thing anyone could have said. And not only that, it was humiliating for Dot. Needless to say, the guy went away and Dot lost her shot with him.
"I was just making conversation." Wakko defended himself.
"No you weren't."
Yakko was usually one for promoting craziness because he was as zany as Wakko or Dot. But this certain matter had gone too far. So the zany was on a break for now. Right now, Yakko had gone into full on big brother/role model mode. This was one of the rare occasions he ever did that.
"Wakko, you knew saying that would drive that guy away from Dot. You're doing it on purpose."
"Why would I do that?" Wakko pretended like he didn't know what Yakko was talking about.
But he couldn't hide it now. Yakko knew. Plain and simple.
"Maybe it's because Dot's finally starting to grow up and you're afraid of it."
"What?" Wakko thought that was ridiculous. "Why would I be afraid of that?"
"Because the more she grows up, then the less she'll need the two of us to protect her." Yakko answered. "It scares me all the time."
Now that was something new for Wakko. There was something that scared Yakko in this world. Who could have possibly known that?
"Why did she come into our lives, Yakko?" Was Wakko's next question. "I love her and all but it's hard to be her brother sometimes."
"It could be worse." Yakko said.
"Yeah? How?"
"She could not be here at all." Yakko answered. "Dot's been with us for years now, Wakko. And you and I both know our lives would never be the same without her. And it could get even worse than that. You could be all alone without Dot OR me."
"You mean like the original character the author of this story created? Trevor Bauer?" Wakko asked.
"Yes. Just like him. He was all alone without a friend or family member in the world and he was miserable. Do you want to be like Trevor Bauer, Wakko?" Yakko asked.
"I don't know. I think I should ask him what it was like." Wakko said.
"Hold on there, little bro. I don't think we can cross stories in this. This is just a one-shot."
Wakko hadn't considered that. And then he got back on track.
"No. I don't want to be alone." Wakko was truly happy for what he had. "I love you and Dot too much to see you go away. But, she's growing up so fast. And what if some guy she talks to ends up breaking her heart?"
"I worry about that too." Yakko replied. "But she's gotta take that leap for herself. We as her older brothers have to trust her to make her own decisions and mistakes."
"But she's only six." Wakko complained. "We might have been around for a long time but she's still very young and very fragile."
Yakko just made a face at him.
"This is Dot we're talking about here." Yakko said. "If you recall, this is the girl who was able to make someone vanish by singing that killer high note. And let's not forget what else she's capable of."
Wakko remembered that. It was at that magic show in Las Vegas and the three of them took over the show. Dot sung a note so high one of the magicians vanished from sight. And that was definitely not all she could do. So even though she was young, Wakko had to admit. She could handle herself pretty well.
"But it's still hard." Wakko pointed out.
"I know it is." Yakko agreed. "But that's what being a big brother means. Trusting your younger siblings to look out for themselves. Do you honestly think Dot can't do that?"
There was only one honest answer for that question and Wakko didn't want to say it. But he had to.
"Yes I think she can. She's Dot Warner for cryin' out loud." Wakko said. "But still. You have to admit it's scary thinking about her growing up."
"Not as scary as Justin Bieber winning a Grammy Award." Was Yakko's response.
And that statement made Wakko go….wacko.
"Don't even KID about something like that! If he wins a Grammy I will destroy this whole movie lot!" Wakko shouted.
"Okay. Calm down." Wakko had two fears. Clowns, and Bieber. But then Yakko got back on course. "Well then I think you know what you have to do." Yakko gestured over to Dot's bedroom door.
Wakko nodded and then he went over to Dot's door. When he stood in front of it, the faint sound of her crying on the other side was heard. And it kind of hurt Wakko now to know he was the one who made her cry in the first place with that last comment of his. But he had to make things right. After all, he might have been the middle child of the trio, but that didn't change the fact that he was also Dot's big brother.
He opened up the door and saw his younger sister crying into the pillow on her bed. It was only when Wakko closed the door she realized he was there. And she wasn't really fond of that.
"What do you want?" she asked in mid-sob. "Come to tell me you hate me again?"
Wakko was already in the apologetic mode.
"No, Dot." He took a seat on her bed and she sat up next to him. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said."
Dot wasn't expecting that to come out of his mouth.
"I didn't mean what I said. My life would most likely suck without you in it." Wakko went on. "I'm sorry for getting in the way of you and romance all the time. But you have to know that you growing up and letting go of me and Yakko is something that we both know is coming but don't want to see."
"Of course I know that." Dot said. "But is it too much to want my own life even when I'm still living with you guys?"
Wakko shook his head.
"No it's not." He replied. "So from now on, I promise to stay out of the way whenever you think you have a shot with someone. Who knows? Maybe you'll meet your soulmate."
"But I've already met Mel Gibson. He's just really bad at returning phone calls." Dot replied.
Wakko chuckled at that. Dot's infatuation with Mel Gibson knows no bounds. Just like his love of food.
"So are we alright?" Wakko asked.
Dot nodded and hugged Wakko.
"Yeah. We're okay."
Wakko returned the hug. It wouldn't matter how big or old Dot would get. No matter what happens, she would always be his little sister. And he would always love her. They were a family. Sure there weren't any parents present, but those three always made themselves a compatible group.
"So…you wanna go and see what Scratchy's doing?" Wakko asked.
Dot smiled and nodded at that suggestion.
"Let's go get Yakko." She added.
And that was what they did after that. They got Yakko, told them everything was alright, and then they went and did what they do best. Wreak havoc among the entire Warner lot. Starting with their old shrink, Dr. Scratchansniff.
See, it doesn't matter which sibling you are in a group of them. Whether you're the older one or younger, siblings should always stay together. Because having them in your life is a lot better than not having any at all. Yakko thought the same way.
"It's true. Now if only we can get the author's main story series to come to here. G'night everybody!"
XXX
Me: Well there it is. My first shot at an Animaniacs fic. What did you guys think?
Scratchy: Vell, I theenk it ees up for ze readerz to decide zat.
Me: Seriously dude. Get an accent coach.
Yakko: I meant what I said at that last line. Can you bring the AutoKnights here?
Me: Um…this isn't really an action packed universe.
Dot: Neither is Lilo & Stitch but you're there now aren't you?
Me: Alright point taken. But I gotta get to work on the other stories. Please go easy on me everyone. Just be honest with me. Peace out bi-
Yakko: AK! You can't say that word here! There are children present.
Me: Yakko, you interrupt my line ONE more time I swear I will go back to the story and edit you out of it!
Yakko:….okay.
Me: Good. One more time. Peace bitches!