Author's note: there's a meme going around in livejournal where you remix your old fic. This is a remix of "Follow Me Into the Dark." I think I like this version better. I'm posting it here, in case anyone wants to read it, but mostly for myself. *nods*
Follow Me Into the Dark (Remix)
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i.
It's easy to want him in the dark. Kimimaro knows, and it's the knowing that shames him. Pale skin and even paler eyes, Kimimaro is moribund, useless to them all. But in the darkness, he knows Orochimaru doesn't care. One hand tangles in the back of Kimimaro's head, the other on his shoulder blades for balance. And with each savage thrust Kimimaro bites off the sound of his own breath, squeezing his eyes and trying not to make a sound.
This is what it's like to be needed. This is what it's like not to be thrown away.
It's not long before Orochimaru comes, gripping Kimimaro's shoulders and panting against his skin. "Orochimaru-sama," Kimimaro says, but he coughs. Flecks of blood fall on the sheet. He doesn't have to see the disgust on Orochimaru's face to know that it's there.
"What a waste," Orochimaru says. He pulls out abruptly, wetness sliding down Kimimaro's legs. Orochimaru adjusts his robes. "Kabuto is waiting. I should get to him before he misses me."
"Yes, Orochimaru-sama," Kimimaro says. He tries to ignore the tears stinging in his eyes.
"Get dressed," Orochimaru says. "Clean yourself. You want to be presentable when my new vessel comes."
Kimimaro is still hard, and that makes him feel ashamed. Slowly, he wraps his fingers around himself, stroking quickly until he comes, quick and gritty, semen coming in thick stripes on his bed and chest. He cleans himself up silently, as he was told to do.
Shame-faced, Kimimaro curls up into himself and closes his eyes.
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ii.
Kimimaro believes in forgiveness. Kimimaro believes in the grace of God.
But Orochimaru is his God now, his vengeance. His will that shall be bestowed upon this earth.
The first time he saw him, Kimimaro knew he was in the presence of the divine.
The sky is clear, the brightest blue, when Kimimaro sets out to find him.
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iii.
"Kimimaro," Orochimaru said.
Kimimaro looked up, expectantly. Orochimaru's thumbs were on the tender hollow of Kimiaro's neck.
Kimimaro stood, motionless, as Orochimaru stripped him in the dark. Each piece of clothing fluttered to the ground. Orochimaru was on his knees, examining him, following him with his eyes. "You are growing into something beautiful, Kimimaro-kun," Orochimaru said. Face turned up at him, eyes glinting with a mysterious light. Kimimaro trembled inwardly as Orochimaru flowed up to his full height, whispering against his neck. "My vessel," Orochimaru said. Another brush of the lips; hands on the small of Kimimaro's back. "My beautiful boy...."
In the mirror, Kimimaro touches his face. Blue-veined lids and skin the color of a runny egg, his maro mayu stands out like twin drops of blood. He was beautiful once. Useful. The vessel of Orochimaru's dreams.
"You're going?" Kabuto watches him curiously, glasses glinting the dark.
"Yes," Kimimaro says. He glances back at the mirror and at his sunken eyes.
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iv.
Across from him, his opponent sags, a yellow-haired boy staggering in the grass.
"Will you weep for me?" Kimimaro doesn't have the right to ask, standing at perpendiculars to Orochimaru's chair.
Orochimaru smiles, the light glinting in his eyes.
"Only with joy, when my Sasuke-kun arrives."