A/n: Soooo….now that I'm out of school, Klaroline is kind of taking over my life. It's rather weird. Also, I seemed to have killed both my wrists in tumbling. Anyway, if anyone has any prompts or suggestions for one shots or stories, please mention them in a review I promise you they will be written and posted promptly. Ooh, promptly, I'm going all fancy.
Disclaimer: What is ownership really? Signed pieces of paper and the strong belief that something is yours. Sadly, I have the belief, but no papers.
"People are all crazy.
Some just hide it better than others."
"I'll let you in on a little secret, Caroline. Life isn't black and white. Neither are people."
He was tired of having her see their situation like that, as if it was definable.
"You think I don't know that?"
Her heart burned with anger at his assumption; her life had been hell before, she certainly knew that angels could have horns, demons could wear halos.
He circled her slowly, trying to translate that incoherent but so forceful part of his thoughts that weren't quite words, "No. You know it by now. For someone who's…been through what you have, it'd be impossible to not realize it."
"Then why did you think you're little tidbit of advice was enlightening me?"
"I never said you didn't know it, Sweetheart, I merely meant that you refuse to accept what it means."
"I know what it-"
"No, not 'what it means' as in definition, but as in what it implies. There's a reason I added on 'People
aren't black and white'."
She stared at him for a long time, or so it seemed to him, looking like she was trying to riddle out exactly what trick he was pulling, that really annoyed him,"….Are you trying to convince me that you have a good side?"
He laughed at that- he was so very frustrated with her, but he still found her amusing, "No. I'm trying to show you that there are no sides."
Her brow furrowed and formed that little dent in her forehead that he'd noticed happened when she was confused. To her credit, it didn't happen a lot.
He laughs once, humorlessly, turning it into a sigh halfway through, "I know you don't understand right now, Love," he turned from facing her to lean against the railing of her front porch, staring off down the block. He could see every detail of every house, even in this dark.
"I'm only trying to get you to see that 'evil' isn't really. Insanity is, but evil is not."
"What do you mean?" he could hear the hesitance in her soft voice, she was probably kicking herself for playing into his hand.
He stayed turned around as he spoke, "People….are all the same at the beginning. When we're first born. Of course we all have a different set of genetics and personality quirks that will turn up once we grow older. But what really make a person is their choices, their experiences. The people, like me for instance, whom you and your little friends view as the 'evil bad guy' just see the world differently, because of a very different set of circumstances. Evil is just something parents put into fairytales to scare their children into behaving. The concept of evil is just a label that small-minded people use so as not to have to acknowledge how the world really is, what 'evil' stands for, because that's what scares them. Deep down, they know that we're all the same. Do you think I really wanted to come to Mystic Falls for the sole purpose of ruining you and your friend's lives?"
She was too busy processing the words coming out of his mouth-and then trying to figure out why she cared so much- to actually respond.
He sighed at her silence, "Of course not. You all just see me as the man sent to destroy your happiness. You see, I am not evil. I very well may be sociopathic and insane, but I am not evil because evil is not real. I see things differently than mos. That is certainly true."
At her scoff, he became strangely angered, offended, "Do you want to know why I try to keep emotions out of my decisions?" he snapped, not giving her time to answer, "Because I have experienced enough, made the choice to listen to my emotions too many times. I do not use my emotions because I know that they will not work in my favor, but you're an idiot if you think I don't have them. I know Damon and Stefan told you that you can turn your emotions off, but how long do you think that lasts Caroline? I've lived long enough to have had to turn them off more than once, but that's the thing-you can't control them. Just like causes and effects. In the beginning, tt was never my intention to cause you and your friends pain. I had my goal, making the hybrids, and certain lives were lost in the collateral damage. I never intended for that, but neither did I care after it happened, because that is how my life has taught me to see things. If I cared for, and cried for, every single life that was lost in this world-whether it was by my hand or not- then I would be grieving for all of eternity. That is not life, Caroline. I come off evil to you because I make my choices off of logic, what best favors my goals. But like I said, even I cannot control emotions. Even my own. Feelings are unpredictable and irrepressible things, Love. Whenever they sneak back into my life, my plans always become dangerous. Attachment does that. But I cannot help them, and that is why I'm here, why I keep bringing myself into this situation-standing with you glaring at me," he laughed at the madness of it all, "There are no sides in humanity love, not truly, but if there were, I think I'd be forced to chose yours'."
With his final statement, he turned to walk off the steps of her porch. He had just explained himself, something he hated doing, to the blond, baby vamp he couldn't get himself to stay away from.
"Emotions aren't liabilities you know. They are life. Feelings are worth living for. You said that grieving for everyone would get in the way of life, but you're missing the other side. Emotions are not definable, there is good with the bad, black with the white, and ignoring both sides isn't life either. It's blocking out all colors."
He stopped. Blinked. Turned back around. For a girl, not long having been in this world, she certainly understood it. It was rather sad, he noted, that she spotted that flaw in his mindset before he did. Seeing as he'd been around for relatively longer than she had. He found himself smiling, without having given himself permission to.
A/n: This was written rather quickly. I think I was just projecting to try to get my mind off of completion cheer tryouts results-that have not been emailed to me yet. Anyway, review and maybe my hurt wrists will feel worth it when I only make alternate.