Perhaps Goodbye is Wrong...
By Ri Kourin
Disclaimer: I don't own the musical rent. I merely have been really into it lately, and love all of the songs and characters. It's great.
Author's Note: This fic is going to switch POV's. Also, it starts with the argument between Mark and Roger in Goodbye Love. ^.^ Enjoy!
~*~* Mimi *~*~
I was going back. I don't know why, except I couldn't leave things like that with him. I loved him, you know? Although, I must admit, what I over heard surprised me.
Walking back, I heard Mark offer weakly, "I hear there are great restaurants out west." I've never really liked Mark. He's always had a lot of sway over Roger, and everyone seems to think he's a nice guy.
"Some of the best..." Roger responded, before asking, "How could she?"
I stepped back into the shadows to listen, and I could see both of their faces. "How could you let her go?" Wait a minute; Mark was sticking up for me?
"You just don't know," Roger said, turning away. His look quite clearly asked how Mark could know. "How could we lose Angel?"
Mark bowed his head as well, then looked back up at Roger, his look pleading. "Maybe you'll see why when you stop escaping your pain. At least know, if you try, Angel's death won't be in vain."
"His death is in vain!" He shouted back. I couldn't believe Roger had said that. Sure, he could be stubborn and jealous, but he seemed to understand most things... Angel tried to teach us all that there was something else. Right? Mark just stare at him in something akin to a mix of horror and sorrow.
"Are you insane? There's so much to care about. There's me- there's Mimi." I started at the sound of Mark bringing me up again. Did he really care?
"Mimi's got her baggage too." Roger growled at his friend and sometimes roommate. I know I do, but I had hoped he would accept me, baggage and all.
"So do you!" Mark shot back and I knew he was right about that as well. Roger just never admits to his problems. It startled me as I saw Roger shove Mark and I winced as I heard his back connect solidly with the phone booth. I had never seen Roger act violent before. Sure he yelled, but this was kind of scary...
"Who are you to tell me what I know, what to do?" Roger asked him. I had asked myself the same question about Mark before. Why was he always giving Roger advice? Roger could deal. Roger was a strong adult and Mark didn't always seem that way.
"A friend," Mark tried to insist before Rog cut him off again.
"But who, Mark, are you?" Roger shouted. His voice turned taunting. "'Mark had got his work.' They say 'Mark likes for his work,' and 'Mark's in love with his work.'" He glared at the filmmaker, shoving him hard again as the smaller blonde attempted to walk away. "Mark hides in his work."
I was surprised, then glad. Roger should stick up to Mark. Tell him to put away that god-damned camera and try living his own life instead of Roger's. But I still heard Mark ask, "From what?"
"From facing your failure, facing your loneliness, facing the fact you live a lie." I had never realized how mean Roger could be. He lost his temper, a lot actually, but not usually like that. I mean, he would stick up for Mark most of the time. Sure, I heard him yelling at his roommate all the time, but I never thought...
As Mark's face crumpled, I realized I'd had him pegged wrong too. He looked so lost and lonely. He looked like the little kid who is abused, but believes someone cares. And as though he'd just realized he was wrong.
The filmmaker turned away to hide the tears I saw streaming down his face and sat lightly on the stone wall. I guess even Mark has his breaking points, and with losing his best friend at the funeral of another, seeing his family die and then having his defenses shattered was it. It tore my heart, to tell the truth, but not as much as the thought of Roger leaving.
But Roger kept going. "Yes you live a lie! Tell you why: You're always preaching not to be numb, when that's how you thrive. You pretend to create and observe when you really detach from feeling alive."
Each accusation seemed to physically hurt Mark, each time he flinched. I had never seen Roger this angry. Did he really care enough that my 'being with' Benny caused him to react this way. To take it out on Mark in this manner? For some reason, that thought almost made me feel better. But dammit, Angel was dead and I was dying! How could he be leaving?!
"Maybe that's because I'm the one of us to survive!" Mark told him bitterly.
"Poor baby!" Roger snarled back.
"Mimi still loves Roger." Mark started in a sing-song voice I've heard him use while he has his camera on. I hadn't realized Mark had noticed that I did... But he was right; I was head-over-heels for the guy. "Is Roger really jealous or afraid that Mimi's weak?"
"Mimi did look pale..." Roger whispered. Did I? I hadn't realized...
"Mimi's gotten thin; Mimi's running out of time." I was, I knew that. But having Mark tell Roger hurt. Roger was supposed to have noticed. Roger was supposed to be helping me! Mark had turned back to face my musician and he frowned. "Roger's running out the door!"
I felt tears fill my eyes. That was true. Roger didn't want to see me die and feel guilt or sadness. He always wanted things to be easy. "No more!" Roger shouted. "Oh no!" The, softer, "I gotta go." He turned to leave and I wanted to stop him. What Mark said next did that pretty well, though.
"For someone who's always been let down, who's running out of town?" I had never seen Mark angry. He was always the calm one who listened to the problems we brought to him with a smile, a hug and some advice. He always calmed Roger down and sent him back to my apartment. I had never realized that he actually cared what happened. I suppose I should have. Everyone told me that he had taken care of Roger when Roger couldn't do it himself. They told me how he had tried to save April, how he had helped Collins and Benny and Maureen. I wonder if anyone ever helped Mark...
Roger turned back, eyes cold. "For some one who longs for a community of his own, who's with his camera? Alone." I watched as Mark looked away, anger gone. He looked defeated, as if he couldn't fight our problems anymore. Roger's eyes filled with tears as he turned to go. "I'll call... I hate the fall."
When he saw me, he stopped and his eyes were slightly shocked and sad. "You heard?"
It took all of my strength to choke out: "Every word."
~*~*~*~*~
That chapter sucked. Maybe because Mimi isn't actually in the conversation? Oh yeah, this probably isn't a good fic to read if you like Roger. I think the actor has a great voice and acting ability, but the character is not my favorite. I think he can be a real jerk to his friends...
Reviews don't pay the rent, but they help my creativity!
By Ri Kourin
Disclaimer: I don't own the musical rent. I merely have been really into it lately, and love all of the songs and characters. It's great.
Author's Note: This fic is going to switch POV's. Also, it starts with the argument between Mark and Roger in Goodbye Love. ^.^ Enjoy!
~*~* Mimi *~*~
I was going back. I don't know why, except I couldn't leave things like that with him. I loved him, you know? Although, I must admit, what I over heard surprised me.
Walking back, I heard Mark offer weakly, "I hear there are great restaurants out west." I've never really liked Mark. He's always had a lot of sway over Roger, and everyone seems to think he's a nice guy.
"Some of the best..." Roger responded, before asking, "How could she?"
I stepped back into the shadows to listen, and I could see both of their faces. "How could you let her go?" Wait a minute; Mark was sticking up for me?
"You just don't know," Roger said, turning away. His look quite clearly asked how Mark could know. "How could we lose Angel?"
Mark bowed his head as well, then looked back up at Roger, his look pleading. "Maybe you'll see why when you stop escaping your pain. At least know, if you try, Angel's death won't be in vain."
"His death is in vain!" He shouted back. I couldn't believe Roger had said that. Sure, he could be stubborn and jealous, but he seemed to understand most things... Angel tried to teach us all that there was something else. Right? Mark just stare at him in something akin to a mix of horror and sorrow.
"Are you insane? There's so much to care about. There's me- there's Mimi." I started at the sound of Mark bringing me up again. Did he really care?
"Mimi's got her baggage too." Roger growled at his friend and sometimes roommate. I know I do, but I had hoped he would accept me, baggage and all.
"So do you!" Mark shot back and I knew he was right about that as well. Roger just never admits to his problems. It startled me as I saw Roger shove Mark and I winced as I heard his back connect solidly with the phone booth. I had never seen Roger act violent before. Sure he yelled, but this was kind of scary...
"Who are you to tell me what I know, what to do?" Roger asked him. I had asked myself the same question about Mark before. Why was he always giving Roger advice? Roger could deal. Roger was a strong adult and Mark didn't always seem that way.
"A friend," Mark tried to insist before Rog cut him off again.
"But who, Mark, are you?" Roger shouted. His voice turned taunting. "'Mark had got his work.' They say 'Mark likes for his work,' and 'Mark's in love with his work.'" He glared at the filmmaker, shoving him hard again as the smaller blonde attempted to walk away. "Mark hides in his work."
I was surprised, then glad. Roger should stick up to Mark. Tell him to put away that god-damned camera and try living his own life instead of Roger's. But I still heard Mark ask, "From what?"
"From facing your failure, facing your loneliness, facing the fact you live a lie." I had never realized how mean Roger could be. He lost his temper, a lot actually, but not usually like that. I mean, he would stick up for Mark most of the time. Sure, I heard him yelling at his roommate all the time, but I never thought...
As Mark's face crumpled, I realized I'd had him pegged wrong too. He looked so lost and lonely. He looked like the little kid who is abused, but believes someone cares. And as though he'd just realized he was wrong.
The filmmaker turned away to hide the tears I saw streaming down his face and sat lightly on the stone wall. I guess even Mark has his breaking points, and with losing his best friend at the funeral of another, seeing his family die and then having his defenses shattered was it. It tore my heart, to tell the truth, but not as much as the thought of Roger leaving.
But Roger kept going. "Yes you live a lie! Tell you why: You're always preaching not to be numb, when that's how you thrive. You pretend to create and observe when you really detach from feeling alive."
Each accusation seemed to physically hurt Mark, each time he flinched. I had never seen Roger this angry. Did he really care enough that my 'being with' Benny caused him to react this way. To take it out on Mark in this manner? For some reason, that thought almost made me feel better. But dammit, Angel was dead and I was dying! How could he be leaving?!
"Maybe that's because I'm the one of us to survive!" Mark told him bitterly.
"Poor baby!" Roger snarled back.
"Mimi still loves Roger." Mark started in a sing-song voice I've heard him use while he has his camera on. I hadn't realized Mark had noticed that I did... But he was right; I was head-over-heels for the guy. "Is Roger really jealous or afraid that Mimi's weak?"
"Mimi did look pale..." Roger whispered. Did I? I hadn't realized...
"Mimi's gotten thin; Mimi's running out of time." I was, I knew that. But having Mark tell Roger hurt. Roger was supposed to have noticed. Roger was supposed to be helping me! Mark had turned back to face my musician and he frowned. "Roger's running out the door!"
I felt tears fill my eyes. That was true. Roger didn't want to see me die and feel guilt or sadness. He always wanted things to be easy. "No more!" Roger shouted. "Oh no!" The, softer, "I gotta go." He turned to leave and I wanted to stop him. What Mark said next did that pretty well, though.
"For someone who's always been let down, who's running out of town?" I had never seen Mark angry. He was always the calm one who listened to the problems we brought to him with a smile, a hug and some advice. He always calmed Roger down and sent him back to my apartment. I had never realized that he actually cared what happened. I suppose I should have. Everyone told me that he had taken care of Roger when Roger couldn't do it himself. They told me how he had tried to save April, how he had helped Collins and Benny and Maureen. I wonder if anyone ever helped Mark...
Roger turned back, eyes cold. "For some one who longs for a community of his own, who's with his camera? Alone." I watched as Mark looked away, anger gone. He looked defeated, as if he couldn't fight our problems anymore. Roger's eyes filled with tears as he turned to go. "I'll call... I hate the fall."
When he saw me, he stopped and his eyes were slightly shocked and sad. "You heard?"
It took all of my strength to choke out: "Every word."
~*~*~*~*~
That chapter sucked. Maybe because Mimi isn't actually in the conversation? Oh yeah, this probably isn't a good fic to read if you like Roger. I think the actor has a great voice and acting ability, but the character is not my favorite. I think he can be a real jerk to his friends...
Reviews don't pay the rent, but they help my creativity!