Rated for some language

FMA/Pokemon crossover- just a little

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist and/or Pokemon

"Sir, there's a crisis going on in the men's bathroom."

"A what?"

Hawkeye stood at the front of Mustang's desk with a dead-serious look on her face.

Hawkeye spoke again. "The men's bathroom, sir. Apparently something is wrong with the toilets and now water is seeping into the hallway."

Mustang paused for a second, giving his Lieutenant a confused look, then said "And what do you want me to do about it?"

BAM! "Sir! We need help!" Crashing through the doors of Mustang's office was Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc, looking like a frightened man who just saw a ghost, and soaking wet from head to toe.

"Havoc?" Mustang shouted as he quickly got up from his chair and backed away towards the windows, trying to avoid contact from the soaking man who was franticly leaning over his desk.

Havoc pointed a dripping, shaking finger towards the doors that he had- moments ago- barged through and said in a shaky voice "S-sir please. The water. W-we can't hold it off. We need help!"

Mustang stood shocked, looking down at Havoc in confusion. What the hell is going on! He thought.

Hawkeye's expression did not change as she brought up a plunger and said "I'm going in."

She swiftly turned and left while Havoc went after her with an arm reaching out, yelling "No! Don't do it!"

Mustang could not believe the scene he had just seen. Was this a joke? Seriously, that seemed a little exaggerated. But he knew that Riza never joked around, maybe Havoc, but not Riza.

Without thinking, Mustang slipped on his gloves and hesitantly walked for the door, like a soldier about to step into a battlefield.

As Mustang made a turn around the corner of the hall, he could not believe his eyes.

Water was everywhere. It flooded the entire area like a river, and the bathroom was just… he couldn't believe it. Though he was in an angle where he couldn't directly see into the bathroom- what he saw was just weird.

Water was gushing out of the door like ragging waves, knocking back anyone who tried to get near the entrance.

There, Mustang could see countless officers trying to stop the ragging madness. Some were carrying buckets and trying to decrease the amount of water in the hall, and others were trying to block off the door with heavy sand bags, but it was useless. He could also see Riza and Havoc amongst the crowd, doing what they could to help.

Mustang stood there dumbfounded. What the hell do they want me to do? He thought. I am the Flame Alchemist. Although this was something the Colonel hated to admit, he knew that he was absolutely useless when it came to water.

"Colonel! I'm so glad you're here. What should we do?"

Mustang turned towards the frantic voice that called out to him which belonged to Second Lieutenant Breda.

Mustang looked at his subordinate with a dead look on his face. "Huh?"

Just then, another voice called out to him. "Roy!"

Mustang turned to see his best friend running towards him. "Hughes?"

Hughes stopped in front of his friend and put a hand on his shoulder while panting "Don't worry Roy, I've sent a team down below to see if it's the pipes or something causing this problem."

Mustang didn't know what to say. "Huh?"

"We'll get to the bottom of this Roy. For now, let's do what we can up here." With that said, Hughes ran towards the madness, and Breda followed after.

Mustang stood in place, eyes following the two men. "Huh?"

This is not real, he thought. I'm just having a very stupid dream.

Right then, he saw a shirtless Alex Armstrong sprinting towards the gushing door. Armstrong jumped to an amazing height, surrounded by sparkles. As he was descending back to the ground, he yelled something about 'The Armstrong family' and 'Plumbing'. As his giant fist hit the water covered floor, a brilliant flash of light emerged and in a split second, the door was completely sealed.

All stared in amazement and relief.

Many of them thanked Armstrong and questioned him about the alchemy he had just preformed. Armstrong said something about forming a huge pipe that was leading the water outside.

Mustang was already long gone from the scene. He didn't want to be spotted and forced to help clean up the mess. Besides, he wanted to change out of his boots and pants that got wet from the flooded hallway.

The next day.

The military was still trying to clean up the soaked hallway and the destroyed bathroom that they were finally able to enter.

The men's bathroom was a mess. The stalls were completely torn down and scattered around the place, the toilets and sinks were shattered beyond use, tiles were lifted and most were just gone, and the door to the bathroom couldn't be found. Needless to say, it would take a while to completely repair it. For the time being, the men had to use the facilities on the other side of the building.

This fact put Mustang in a bad mood. For some reason, the planning's and organizing necessary equipment and expenses for the destroyed bathroom were dumped on him. So, not only did he have a stack of paperwork to attend to, he also had to deal with the bathroom incident. And to top it all off, he had the major urge to take a piss, and the closest toilet was in the women's bathroom, and the other men's bathroom was too far for him to bother with.

"Hey Roy, good news!"

Mustang gave an irritated grunt as he looked up at the happy Hughes who walked through the doors. "What is it Hughes?"

"We found what caused the bathroom incident yesterday. My men are bringing it here right now!" Hughes sounded excited.

Mustang raised an eyebrow and his staff exchanged looks.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" Hughes's men carried in a giant orange and yellow fish and threw it on top of the surface of Mustang's desk, causing papers to scatter here and there. They did it so fast that Mustang was both startled and ready to piss his pants as he got up and yelled.

"It's a fish, Roy." Hughes said plainly.

"I know what it is, I just meant… w-what… what the hell!" Mustang couldn't believe the size of the thing.

The fish was alive and still moving. It was huge, a little larger then then the desk. It had large white eyes with tiny black dots for pupils. Each time it flopped, its orange scales would shine and its long yellow whiskers would wiggle up and down.

Mustang stood frozen, eyes wide and mouth agape, almost scared. Hawkeye stood next to him and stared at the flopping fish curiously. "Are you sure it's a real fish?"

Hughes gave a small shrug "Well, yeah, sure. I mean, look at it."

Breda backed away "That's too damn big to be a REAL fish!"

Havoc hesitantly stepped closer "W-where'd you find it?"

Hughes crossed his arms "Down below, entangled in some broken pipes, thrashing around. It must have been panicking. Don't know how it got down there. Major Armstrong freed the thing in no time."

Furey peeked out from behind Havoc with a sad look "Do you think its suffering? I mean, fishes do need water don't they?"

The fish repeatedly kept making noises that almost sounded like it was saying a word. A word that sounded like "Karp." Furey thought that maybe it was gasping from being out of water.

Hughes quickly stood shocked "Oh, your right! Fishes DO need water!"

After coming back to his senses, Mustang stomped a foot to the ground "Hughes! Get this thing outta my office!"

"And take it where?" Hughes replied.

"I don't care! Just take it outside!"

"Oh sure, Roy. Let me just dump it out in the streets. If you haven't noticed, we're miles away from any ocean, river, or lake for this thing to go back to."

"Throw it in the sewers!"

"And have something like yesterday happen again? What if it mutates!"

"JUST GET IT OUT OF MY OFFICE!"

Just then, Major Armstrong stepped through the doors followed by Warrant Officer Falman.

"Colonel, is something wrong?" Armstrong asked, as if the fish wasn't even there.

"Major!" Mustang yelled. "Take this fish out of my office!"

Armstrong gave a surprised look. "But the Lieutenant Colonel said that you would be more than happy to take care of the fish. Why the change of heart sir?"

"W-what? Hughes!" Mustang shot an angry look at his friend.

Hughes put his hands up in front of him as if trying to make a blockage between him and Mustang. "Aw, come on Roy. Just think of it as a pet. Besides, while we were all trying to help out yesterday, you just stood there doing nothing, so also think of it as a form of punishment."

"I'm practically already being punished by filling out these papers for the bathroom!" Mustang gestured to the scattered papers on the floor.

The fish's voice became louder. "Karp! Karp!"

"And besides," Mustang added "It's probably going to die soon."

Furey gave a small sad moan.

"Well, save it." Hughes stated.

"How?" Mustang glared.

"Why don't you build it a tank." Falman suggested.

"Yeah," Havoc added "Take it home and build it a tank. Think about it, having a huge aquarium in your room with a rare fish swimming around inside, it doesn't sound so bad."

"Havoc! My place isn't big enough for a giant aquarium, let alone a giant fish! So either one of you take it out of my office right now or leave it to die here on my desk!"

The next day.

Mustang had just finished going through various papers concerning the men's bathroom. The pipes that had been broken were being repaired, and the soaked hallway was slowly starting to fully dry, and everyone in his office was going about their daily tasks. Everything seemed like it was going back to normal… except for that thing taking up most of the space in the corner of the office.

There in the room- it was hard not to notice- was a large fish tank, towering over everything in the office and touching the side of Mustang's desk. And taped to the side of the tank was a large piece of paper with Hughes's hand writing on it that said "Roy's fish".

Since Mustang refused to take the fish home, everyone agreed that he should take care of the thing at work. Armstrong built the giant tank using Armstrong alchemy. Little Armstrong faces, mustaches, and sparkles decoratively bordered the corners of the tank. Armstrong quickly filled the tank with water and threw the fish inside, and Hughes labeled the tank. He even gave the fish a name… 'Roy'.

Mustang gave out a long loud sigh and rested his chin in the palm of his hand as he glanced at the giant fish.

The fish stared back with that same shocked, dead look on its face. Opening and closing its mouth.

"What?" Mustang quietly said to it.

The fish of course, did not respond.

Hawkeye glanced at the clock. "Sir, it's time to feed the fish."

"Uuuuhhhh." Mustang moaned.

And then, Hughes came through the doors and flashed a smile. "Hey Roy. How's it go'n!"

"I'm not in the mood Hughes. Get out!"

"I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to him." Hughes pointed at the fish.

Mustang made a sound that clearly said how irritated he was at the moment.

Furey came dashing through the doors. "Sir, we have a problem!"

Mustang looked up at him, expecting him to say something ridiculous like, the bathrooms are flooding again!

"Sir, something is blocking the gate of our parking lot. Vehicles can't leave or enter, and the thing won't move!"

Everyone in the office exchanged looks as they quickly followed Furey out the door and towards the lot.

Blocking the entire entrance of the Military's parking lot was an extremely huge creature.

"What the heck is that!" Breda exclaimed.

It looked like a fat, giant sleeping cat. Its body was a dark green except for its face, belly, and feet which were a cream-like color.

Whatever it was, it was huge, sleeping, and blocking the way. And from the looks of it, it must've been extremely heavy because not even Armstrong could budge the creature.

Each time the thing exhaled, it sounded like it was softly saying "Snore."

There must have been about ten guys helping Armstrong move the thing, but it was useless.

"What… the," was all Mustang could say.

"Colonel Mustang sir!"

Mustang turned to see Falman and a few other officers running his way.

What now? He thought.

"Colonel." Falman panted "Y-your office sir,"

"My office…?" mustang said.

"Y-yes, your office, it's-it's,"

BOOM!

A large cloud of dirt and debris was rising from the military building as another loud noise echoed. BOOM!

Mustang quickly ran back inside with everyone following behind him.

Mustang clenched his teeth. What the heck is going on?

When they reached the hallway to the office, all they could see were officers shooting towards the broken down doors of Mustangs office and a giant scaly blue tail whipping in and out of the entrance.

"AAAHHH!" Furey screamed.

"What the hell!" Havoc exclaimed.

"Oh my gosh!" Breda shouted.

Mustang, Hawkeye, and Hughes exchanged glances then ran towards the office.

Hawkeye and Hughes brought out their guns while Mustang slipped on his gloves.

When they got to the entrance, their eyes widened further. What they saw squirming and thrashing around inside the office was- what looked like- a giant blue sea serpent. And coming out of its huge open mouth were bright, fire-like beams, shooting out the windows, through the walls and up the ceiling.

Hughes glanced at the broken fish tank in horror. "Oh my gosh Roy, the fish is gone!"

"Hughes! We have more important things to worry about right now! Focus!" Mustang shouted, but truth was, he couldn't focus himself. The scene before him was unbelievable.

After a few seconds, Mustang snapped back to his senses and posed his fingers to snap. But before he could do anything, the giant serpent faced its mouth towards him and threw up a massive amount of rushing water. It caused many things in the office to break and rush out the entrance and into the hall, and it also caused Mustang to get wet. In other words 'useless'.

Before anyone could fire anymore shots at the giant creature, it took off, spiraling itself through the doors, up the ceiling and finally into the sky, where it disappeared beyond the clouds.

Mustang kneeled on the floor in defeat. Soaking wet and staring at the giant hole in the ceiling.

"Whoa, what the heck happened here?"

Everyone turned to the familiar voice and saw Ed and Al looking around curiously and confused.

"Edward!" Furey shouted. "You're not gonna believe what just happened!"

"Yeah!" said Breda. "A giant sea monster just attacked the Colonel and flew off into the sky."

Ed and Al slowly looked at each other.

"It's the truth!" Havoc shouted.

"Right." Ed said disbelievingly. "Where's the Colonel? I gotta show 'em something interesting Al and I found- oh, there he is!" Ed and Al ran towards Mustang, who was still kneeling on the ground.

Ed bent down. "Wow, you look like crap."

"Ed!" Al nudged his brothers shoulder.

Ed sat up and grinned. "Well, we got something to show you. It's pretty interesting, never seen anything like it before. It really likes Al. Show 'em Al."

Al nodded and took off his chest plate. Mustang kneeled there in silence. After all the crazy things he's seen the past few days he doubt anything they show him now would surprise him- except if it was maybe the Philosophers stone.

What Al brought out made Mustang's eyes widen a little.

"See." Ed said.

Al held, what looked like a giant yellow mouse with pointed ears. It had black tips at the end of its ears, red circles on its cheeks, and a tail shaped almost like a lightning bolt.

It looks kinda… cute. Mustang thought.

Just then, the yellow mouse's eyes met Mustangs and its fur started to stand and its cute face turned angry.

Mustang was taken aback by its sudden change of mood.

"What's wrong?" Al asked it.

"Pi-ka!"

"Hey! It spoke again!" Ed said excitedly.

Then, Mustang could see tiny lines of electricity forming by its cheeks.

"Pika!"

"Uh… brother?" Al said.

"PIKA!"

Before anyone could realize what was happening… it was too late.

"CHU!"

A giant shock of lighting burst out of the building, causing huge destruction, everyone in the building in need of an ambulance, and a city wide black-out.

Mustang never allowed animals to be brought to him ever again.

End

List of Pokemon that appeared in this fic. In the order they appeared in.

The giant fish- Magikarp

The giant sleeping cat in parking lot- Snorlax

The blue sea serpent- Gyarados

The yellow mouse- Pikachu

Although I've never seen or heard of Gyarados flying, I have heard and read that it is a water/flying type/element. So regardless if Gyarados really can fly or not, I made it fly anywayz.