Another silly fic. Christmas Eve in the Acolyte house.
As usual, their characters, my story, 'Nuff said.
Gift Giving
It was Christmas Eve at the Acolyte base and snow was falling gently on the trees outside. Well, past the barren rocky landscape where sometimes they could glimpse some trees. If it was a sunny day and only from the tiny attic window, at least. Magneto had mentioned something about it being easier to defend or something, but the Acolytes just thought it reminded him of his base on the moon. Before those jerks the X-Men had blown it up, anyway.
"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!" Pyro yelled. "Christmastime! Finally! I'm gonna eat ham and turkey and stuffing and pumpkin pie and potato salad til I puke!"
"Calm down, Pyro, s'only Christmas Eve." Gambit said.
"Da, save your energy for tomorrow." Piotr replied.
"Says the guy that grew up in Communist Russia and wasn't even allowed to have Christmas." Pyro mumbled.
All he could do was glare at the growing heap of presents under the tree in anticipation. Silently he sighed, his hands on his chin.
"Sigghhh...."
"It's only one more day...." Piotr tried to explain.
"I know....." Pyro said.
He shifted slightly in his chair, the lure of presents mere feet and hours away.
"Sighhhhh....cough, cough." He said again.
"Fer cryin' out loud...." Sabretooth grumbled.
He happened to be sitting next to Pyro and was trying to concentrate on the game but he wasn't making it easy.
Pyro shifted again, his right hand drumming on the coffee table.
Thrump. Thrump.
Thrump. Thrump. Thrump.
Thrump. Thrump. Thrump. Thrump.
Thru......
"Would ya quit that already?!" Sabretooth yelled grabbing his hand.
"Sorry, I was just thinking about Christmases back home." Pyro said. "Back when my fascist parents would let us have Christmas, anyway."
"Ah geez, he's gonna get all nostalgic now." Sabretooth groaned. Silently he steeled himself for what was to come.
"No, really." Pyro said noticing the looks the Acolytes were giving him. "I remember one year my parents got me tickets to the petting zoo. It was world famous for reptiles, hissing dragons, crocodiles, alligators and poisonous snakes." He said. "Then another year they sent me to The Outback."
"The steakhouse?" Sabretooth asked suddenly interested. The mention of food always affected him that way.
"No, the real Outback." Pyro replied. "They never did send me a return ticket, though. I wonder why? Well, anyway, were they surprised to see me on New Year's Day! They were so happy they couldn't stop crying! Yeah, that was a good time back then. I wonder how Allambee is doing these days?"
"Who?" Gambit asked.
"My Aboriginal 'guide'. I never did see him again after that....what with crossing the desert and almost losing him." He added, thoughtful.
"Mystery to me." Sabretooth said glancing a look with Gambit.
"What about you guys? What did you do for Christmas?" Pyro asked.
"In my homeland of Russia, Christmas and other religious holidays were banned by the Communists." Piotr answered. "It wasn't until the post-glasnost era that Christmas was even celebrated. Even then, Christmastime is celebrated on January 7th because of the Russian Orthodox Church." He explained.
"Thanks fer the history lesson." Sabretooth griped.
"Oh, that's really interesting, Piotr." Pyro said not feeling the least bit interested. "What about you, Gambit?"
"Well, down in N'Awlins we'd, uh, give to da needy." He answered.
"Really?" Pyro asked. "That's quite generous of you, mate."
"Oui, my Da..., Jean Luc I mean, and I would, uh, 'buy' presents for alla children's and leave 'em at dere houses." He said.
"What about you, Vic?"
"Never had no Christmas." He grumbled. "Sometimes heard the old $$....um, man and his bit...,uh, witch of a wife havin' parties upstairs from the root cellar, though" He corrected.
"Eesh." Pyro said, his face aghast. " Alright, that was a kiljoy."
"You asked." Sabretooth replied.
"Well, moving right along to something else. What did you guys ever want for Christmas?" He asked. "I remember mine! It was a Zippo model 451! Windproof and pretty waterproof, too. It was the best thing ever! Man, I took that thing everywhere. School, church, boy scouts, that field trip to the Murray-Darling Basin during drought season...."
"I remember I wanted painting supplies but my family was too poor to afford them." Piotr said.
"KEM Double Arrow playing cards." Gambit said.
"The old man not to pull my teeth or claws out."
"For the love of........! Good grief, Vic! We're tryin' ta have a good Christmas here!" Gambit cried throwing up his hands.
"Fine, I could use a beer, anyway." Sabretooth moaned getting up and walking to the fridge. He wasn't especially interested in sharing Christmas memories anyways.
"Some people's got some serious issues...." Gambit said as he left.
"I heard that!" Sabretooth yelled back.
Back in the rec room everyone else was lost in their own thoughts of Christmas past and it was very quiet. Gambit was thinking of the warm and humid days of his youth with Jean Luc in New Orleans. What he didn't mention was how they would thieve from the rich houses on St. Charles Street to give to the poorer people in the Lower 9th Ward. Back then, Jean Luc and him were the modern day equivalent of Robin Hood or Santa Claus. They were always good memories for him and he remembered it fondly. He always used to imagine how surprised the kids would be on Christmas Day and he smiled to himself.
Across from him Piotr was also thinking about his Christmases in Russia. Although poor, his family life was always full of love and happiness. He didn't really realise how precious that was until he moved here and it made him thankful. He remembered his Da selling off some of his most prized cattle that year just to get him that painting set. The cattle were used to plow the field during Harvest and he knew it couldn't have been easy for him. But, somehow or another the field still got planted. When he thought about his father's sacrifice it made him understand the meaning of 'family' and those were the best memories to have.
Next to the Christmas tree, Pyro gazed at the presents. Except for a few years, his parents did give him a Christmas, sometimes. He supposed it was their way of trying to make him feel normal. But, when they realised that his talent really was in fire, they bought him that Zippo just to make him happy. He thought at the time it was the best gift they had ever given him. Now, he knew it was their way of offering him a token of peace, an unspoken truce in their family. It was a bittersweet memory but still one of the best ones he had of his family.
In the kitchen, Sabretooth was thinking about beer and how much he liked it. Well, other than his childhood, he did have a few good Christmas memories. For instance, he remebered that one year that Raven
CENSORED
or that time he
CENSORED
and don't forget that one time that she
CENSORED
He almost snorted on his beer thinking back on all the crazy things Christmas reminded him of. Yeah, those were good memories for him, too. His mood lifted, he decided to go back to the rec room to see what the kids were up. It was getting too quiet in there.
"I wish it was Christmas." Pyro sighed looking back at the presents.. "Why can't we just open them now?" He asked.
"Know what? You're right!" Piotr exclaimed.
"I am?" Pyro asked, surprised that someone would agree with him. Ever.
"Da, it sounds like none of us ever really had a normal Christmas Day celebration, anyway. We can start now." He said.
"'Cause opening presents on Christmas Eve ain't normal?" Gambit asked.
"Why start being normal now?" Pyro agreed. "Presents time!" He yelled.
"Me first!" Gambit shouted.
"No! Me!"
"Me! Me! Me!" Piotr joined in.
"Yer all gonna have ta wait yer turn 'cause I'm goin' first!" Sabretooth roared.
"Wanna bet?!" Gambit answered, charging his cards and throwing them at him.
"No fair!" Pyro shouted, clicking his zippo and sending a wall of flames their way.
"Ha! Fire retardent!" Piotr laughed, armoring up. "Me first!"
There was a mad dash to the tree as Gambit charged card after card and exploded them around the rec room and Pyro set the couch on fire as an obstacle. Piotr was walking right through the flames, his legs held back by Sabretooth.
"Let go Vic!" He cried.
"Not on yer life, ya bucket of bolts! Yer the only thing fireproof in this house and I ain't lettin' go!" He replied.
"Can't catch me!" Gambit taunted.
"Fire! Fire! Fire!" Pyro said gleefully in his best Beavis and Butthead voice.
"What is going on in here?!" Magneto suddenly shouted. "I mean, THIS time?!"
In the rec room Pyro was staring at the wall of flame while Gambit dropped his cards and let them fall fizzling to the ground. Piotr changed back and Sabretooth let go of his legs.
"Nothing!" They all said.
"Pyro, stop trying to set the walls on fire! Gambit, those cards are for Poker Night and you know it! Sabretooth, quit trying to...what are you trying to do?! Eat Colossus' leg? There's ham and turkey in the refridgerator we were saving for tomorrow if you're that hungry! Colossus! Well, I don't know what to say to you, just stop whatever it is you were doing!" Magneto ordered.
"Now, what is going on here?" He asked, his voice much calmer.
"Mumblemumblemumble rahhhh rahhhh mumble." They all said talking over each other.
"ONE at a time!" Magneto shouted. "Sabretooth! What is going on?" He asked. He figured he might as well start with the oldest and seemingly most responsible person in the room. Besides himself.
"We were gonna open presents." Sabretooth growled. "Til these lunkheads wanted to make it into a contact sport."
"Christmas is tomorrow." Magneto said back.
"Yeah, we know, but we figured we'd never done anything traditionally or normal before, why start now?" Pyro said.
"Fine. Open your presents. Just...keep it quiet." He said. All of this Acolyte drama was giving him a headache. "I don't have to remind you all to take turns do I?"
"We'll be good!" Pyro quipped purposely positioning himself closest to the presents. "Oh look, there's my name!"
"Fine, just open it." Piotr groaned. They'd have to wait but Pyro was the most excited.
"To John, From Vic." Pyro said holding a small box in his hand. This should be good, he thought. Inside was bottle of lighter fluid. "Uh, gee, thanks Vic."
"Open mine next." Gambit winked.
"To John, From Remy." He read. Inside was a circular flint dispenser. It was getting better and better but he didn't want to get his hopes up. "This is perfect, Remy. Thanks." He said.
"Don't forget mine." Piotr said.
"I won't, sheesh. To John, From Piotr." He said. Inside was a leatherette Zippo belt carrying case.
"So you won't lose it." Piotr explained.
"Aww, you shouldn't have." Pyro said.
"Open Mag's next." Gambit said. He was just as excited as Pyro was watching him open the presents. He didn't want to admit it, but sometimes the best part of getting gifts was giving them.
"No....f&%$-ing way........." Pyro exclaimed.
It couldn't be. Magneto couldn't have possibly known. With all of the other gifts, he was afraid to open the small rectangular box. His hands visibly shook as he peeled the bright red and green wrapping paper away.
"To John, From Eric Lehnsherr." His voice cracked as he read the gift card. Pyro knew Magneto was Jewish and spent most of his childhood under Nazi rule so this gift must have meant something to him.
"Mag...Magneto....Mr. Magneto, sir, you really, really shouldn't have." Pyro said.
"Go ahead. Open it." Magneto said.
Inside the tiny wrapped box was exactly what he wanted. The new and mostly improved Zippo model 451.
"So you will never be without your fire." Magneto said.
"Geez, Magneto.....I really don't know what to say." Pyro said awed and overcome at the gift.
"Say that you will use it and enjoy." Magneto replied. The words were left unspoken and only the look on his face was gift enough.
This had to be the best Christmas ever.
The gift giving continued after that. Victor had a few more beers and Magneto joined him in singing holiday songs. Piotr got a new painting set and supplies from Gambit and Sabretooth. The brushes and canvas he could understand Gambit buying but how Victor had purchased the very expensive and very rare oil based paint was beyond him. All he could imagine was a pissed off Sabretooth in a paint supply store looking for the exact shade of ochre. He shuddered to think of the salesman that had to deal with him.
"This is great!" Piotr said showing off his new supplies. "Now I can work on that still life of Magneto I was planning on doing!"
"Is it life size?" Sabretooth asked.
"No. But you have to admit, the world needs a portrait of great leaders." Piotr said. "After all, George Washington, Napoleon, Lenin and Stalin all had their portraits done."
"I think that's a great idea." Magneto said. "Here, I can pose for you, too."
Magneto stood still, his arms crossed and hovering in the air.
"How about this one?" He asked. "Or, I could do this one..."
He hovered in the air again (his favorite pose), one hand above him reaching towards space and the other hand downwards towards the Earth like in X-Men #25.
"Look, I can even make my hand glow!" He said.
"Great." Gambit said. He didn't want to hear any more about Zippo's and painting supplies or life size portraits. The holiday had turned into a wrapping paper gift from Hell and he was getting anxious. Everyone except him and Sabretooth had opened their presents and now he felt left out. The best part of opening Christmas gifts to him was that he was next.
"Can I open my presents now?" He asked impatiently.
"Oh, fine." Magneto said stopping his posing and sitting down.
Inside each small gift wrapped square was box after box of playing cards. Normally happy with getting a new box of playing cards, Gambit wondered at the seemingly lack of creativity and what that said about him.
"You like it?" Sabretooth asked. He wasn't at all about gift giving but tonight he had to wonder what had gotten into him.
"Cards." Gambit replied. "Yeah, sure." He said.
"Look a little closer, Cajun." Sabretooth said. The guy could be as clueless as anything sometimes.
It might have taken Gambit a little while but he did what Sabretooth said, his red eyes looking at the stacks of playing cards.
"KEM! OMG! Vic! I love you!" He yelled. "This is exactly what I wanted!"
"Yeah, well, Merry Christmas from all of us." Sabretooth said.
Like all of the presents they had pooled their money to get each and every one what they wanted.
"I love Christmas!" Pyro yelled throwing flames into the fireplace with his new Zippo 451.
"Da, I think I will paint a scene of this day." Piotr said. What better way to try out his new art supplies than to memoralize this moment he thought. Then again not even a Hieronymus Bosch could do justice to the scene before him.
"Anyone up for Poker Night?" Gambit asked, shuffling his new deck of cards in the air. "What about you, Vic?
"Nah, I got things to do." Sabretooth said sipping on his beer. In all actuality he was waiting for the night to be over so he could take care of some business he had in mind. It was more or less tradition but he hadn't missed this occassion with Raven in the past forty years and he wasn't about to begin now.
"But you didn't even open your presents yet!" Pyro said.
"Don't have to." Sabretooth said tapping the side of his nose. Through the years he had learned how to bypass the usual things and get to the good stuff. "Already know what's inside." He said.
"Lemme guess.......A box of cond....." Gambit said.
"Condiments!" Pyro yelled.
"Sheesh, Gambit, do you want to get us kicked off, or what?" Piotr replied looking up at the screen.
"Close." Sabretooth said. Inside his box was an assorted array of meats and cheeses and mustards. He'd gotten the same gift a few years back so he knew what to expect. Instead he feigned excitement. Condiments, while close to the same spelling to what he needed, was exactly what he wanted.
"Thanks, Cajun." He said.
"Look at the bottom of the box....later." Gambit whispered so that only he and Creed could hear.
Instead they exchanged knuckle punches in the air, an unspoken agreement between them. With Magneto's beer of the month subscription he was pretty much set for the next year.
"Way to go, Remy." Sabretooth said taking a peak at his gift. Magnum size and everything.
"Open mine next!" Pyro yelled, oblivious.
His was the biggest box by far and Creed could tell by the excitement in his voice that he couldn't wait until he opened his present.
"You really want me to open it now?" Sabretooth asked, teasing him. "Really? Really?"
"Just open it!" Pyro shouted. He could hardly contain his excitement as Sabretooth ripped the wrapping paper off and sat with his mouth ajar.
In his hands he held the outside box of a brand new Eliminator Depilitator 9000.
"Raven's gonna love it!" Pyro squealed.
"F*$%." Sabretooth moaned pretending to be excited. "You shouldn't have."
"You like it?" Pyro asked. "I know how much you liked mine and thought of you when I saw it! It's not modified or anything like mine, but that doesn't take that much!" He said. "A little axle grease and nitro, no problem!"
"You shouldn't have...." Sabretooth mumbled.
"I thought you'd like it." Pyro said.
"No, really, you shouldn't have." Sabretooth replied. Raven or no Raven, there was no way he was going to subject himself to the torture of Pyro's demented machine ever again."
"Um, maybe you should open mine now." Piotr said interupting them.
"Good idea." Sabretooth said discarding the Eliminator Depilitator 9000 while Pyro was looking away.
"I don't know if you're going to like this or not, but here you go." Piotr said shoving the small flat object in his face. It was wrapped simply in white wrapping paper with a single red bow at the corner.
"A picture?" Sabretooth asked. That was the one thing he wasn't expecting.
"I hope you like it." Piotr said.
It was a portrait, alright. But one of the most intimate and expressive portraits he had ever seen. Although small it captured him and Raven in a rare unmanifested glow of sunlight in apparently better days next to the great Holly tree next to the Brotherhood House. He didn't remember the exact moment but it had to be early Spring or Summer by his haircut.
"Wow, thanks, tin head." He said. This time he meant it.
Awkwardly everyone coughed and shuffled. As much as Christmas brought smiles and laughter, it also made them feel out of place, not used to showing their emotions to each other.
Everyone was quiet for once and there was no more fighting, just the warm glow of the fireplace and new presents to play with. Pyro clicked his new Zippo while Gambit shuffled his cards and Piotr began recording the moment on canvas. Sabretooth sat in the corner staring at his new present and chewing on a log of meat sausage.
"This was great, wasn't it?" Pyro said interupting the silence.
"Da, this was a great Christmas." Piotr agreed.
"One of the best." Gambit answered.
"Here's to Christmas." Pyro said raising his glass of Egg Nogg.
"Hear! Hear!" Piotr agreed.
"Tis the season to feel Mary." Sabretooth said standing up. He had another place to be and if he was lucky Raven wouldn't be in that bad of a mood tonight.
"What...?"
Sabretooth just shrugged, keys, presents, and gifts under his arms. "She calls herself that sometimes." He said.
"I don't think I want to know...." Pyro said.
Complete!
Merry Christmas Everyone!