Naruto Uzumaki sat in his desk chair at his important business desk. He only sat here when he knew he had to get jobs done, and not ninja jobs mind you. Naruto had given that up temporarily to focus on the finer things in life, like for example bettering himself as a person. He had never been too good at focusing on work but he had been putting this off long enough and the ninja government would be upset with him if he waited any more time.
Naruto knew what he had to do. He put his pen down to his little paper and began doing his taxes like a sensible ninja of society. He knew his place. That ninja man began calculating in his smart head his income from the previous year. When doing taxes this was an important step indeed. He was extra careful to to add any additional income received in the "other income" box, and then add up all income received. He smiled loud and proud, this was not as hard as it looked!
For a moment he felt like he had arisen into Ninja Heaven to be with his fellow bretheren. The pleasure he felt in his noodle was great, but Naruto was a fox guy of little patience. He got out his calculator from an openy closey thing on his desk to really get it done. As you all know, Naruto is fucking SHIT at mathematics. Back in ninja college, his roommate Sasuke had to do all of that stuff for him since he was just hopeless. He nimbly punched in the numbers as fast as he could but he punched too hard and broke that calculator. His power was too great.
Naruto threw the shattered remains of his friend to the ground and screamed. Nothing was more horrible than the pain he felt right here, right now. He had to go next door and get another calculator from his best bro Sasuke who did it without question. Best friends til the end they always say. Now that he was back with a fresh calcy, Naruto could resume his mission. He remembered easily that he needed to complete his AGI, which he KNEW very very very well was a total taxable income minus certain reductions. He put his arms up in the air. God smiled upon him.
This was the moment that brought Naruto the most joy out of his short life and was formerly his most favorite part about doing his taxes. Unfortunately, he had a ton of stuff to fill out this time, so as per usual his rejoicing is short lived. HIs last pleasure with filling out the AGI section he had not had many reductions to talk about, but today it was different. A tear slowly slid down his cheek as he wrote down all of the money income in the correct box. Being a mindslave wasn't easy but he made do with what little he had.
His beautiful blue eyes looked over the next page of his work. The section was "Tax and Credits" and he knew all too well what that meant. He wiped the tears that continued streaming down his ninja face and some of them got onto his taxes, a symbol and reminder of all he had done. Naruto Uzumaki, welder of the fox spirit right then and there added up ALL of his relevant taxes, each and every one right there. Joy rushed through his heart and his pencil broke. He screamed briefly before continuing, right now nothing could stop him. He was on the run. He subtracted his tax credits and he had come so far from where he had first begun.
Naruto's strength was very immense and so when he broke that pencil it was really broken for good. There was no heaven for vermin like that, thought Naruto. I'm scared. He took a knife and stabbed himself in the arm and painted calculated his refund with the spilled blood. He was looking mighty foxy as he was bleeding onto the sheet of paper. His day just kept getting better.
The ritual was nearly complete. As blood continued seeping out of his arm faster than a very quick ninjitsu he completed what he knew he was put on his planet to complete. He calculated the amount he owed the cowards at the IRS and wrote it down once more with his liquids. He signed his name, (Naruto Uzumaki) and filled out all of the additional information, his vision was getting blurry and he knew he was slipping. The time had come. He closed the tax booklet smiling, and his eyes closed slowly, the last of his life slipping out of him along with his blood.
What's the use in trying? All you get is pain. When I wanted sunshine I got rain. Naruto wasn't prepared to deal with the grave consequences of filing his tax returns unprepared.