Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a 2nd cycle, and then a 3rd, 4th, etc through 53rd cycle. Now cycle 54!
"In the World of My Creation"
Sue & Brittany
Sylvesters series
(all series now listed under the communities tab in my profile)
After she had gotten the call, nothing had felt real, not for a while. Even as she drove down to the home, and saw her there, all of it felt impossibly wrong. It wasn't until she had been on her way back home and five words popped in her head that some of the feeling started to return to her.
I have to tell Brittany.
She had not cried yet, couldn't allow herself. There was only one other person around here sharing Sylvester blood, and this was something they had to deal with together. Still she had felt the shudder of a sob go through her when another thought had occurred to her. Her sister would never know she had been an aunt all these years. She had always treated Brittany as family though, so maybe to some extent…
The house was as quiet as it had been when she'd left it. Brittany would still be sleeping, and creeping up to her room, she felt like the grim reaper, bringing someone else's death to her. Seeing her there, asleep in her bed, unaware, she would have left her like this forever, but she couldn't. Soon they would have to go to school, and she couldn't promise that the information of Jean's death wouldn't get out. She wouldn't have her blindsided like this.
She had laid her hand atop her daughter's, and after a few seconds, her blue eyes had opened. "Did I oversleep?" she asked, squinting against the morning light.
"No," Sue promised her, bowing her head. She was trying to keep things together, but now that Brittany was awake it had gotten harder.
"What's wrong?" Brittany sat up, pushing hair out of her face. Sue looked up at her. She had to just go on and say it.
"Brittany, I need to tell you something." Her daughter stared back at her, and that only made it harder. "It's your aunt Jean, she… She was sick, and… and she couldn't recover."
"Is she going to be okay?" Brittany sounded concerned but not at all like she had understood what her mother meant, and Sue sat at her side.
"She passed away this morning," she shook her head. "She… she's dead," it was the first time she said it aloud, and it tasted as horrible as she had thought it would. Seeing how the news settled in her daughter's eyes was worse though. Her mouth moved like she was trying to find words, but there were none to find. Sue reached over, bringing her close in her arms, and Brittany squeezed tight. Within seconds, Sue could hear and feel her crying, and that made her break down as well. It was only a few second more before she found herself making an offer she had never made. "We don't have to lie anymore," she shook her head.
"W… What about your mother?" Brittany asked, not even seeing any point to use the word 'grandmother.' Sue shook her head.
"I can deal with her if I have to. Jean may not have known that she was your aunt, but you did, and I want you to be able to mourn her properly, with people who care for you."
"You care for me," she shook her head. "And Dad does, and Charlotte, and Cat and Izzy, and Grandpa. You don't need to tell anyone about me," she begged.
"Brittany…"
"I'll be okay," she promised. "You need to mourn her with people who care for you, too," she repeated the words. "It won't matter to any of them if our secret comes out like this." Looking at her daughter, Sue didn't know what to say. She knew she had strength in her, but never like this… If it had been the other way around, she wasn't sure she could have done what Brittany was suggesting that they do.
"Are you sure about this?" she took up her face in her hands. Brittany nodded. Sue sighed, bringing her close again. "I can write you a note for today."
"It's okay, I'll go," Brittany wouldn't back away.
The day had taken a turn once they had found their way to McKinley. Sue felt odd being there, like she was suffocating and she needed to do… something. In her mind there was reason enough that she should do something to draw attention away from Brittany, and that was a good enough reason for her. Messing with Will Schuester was as good of a distraction as she could get, although some of her actions came from another place, one of grief and confusion, and she knew deep down that she'd regret them later. For now though, she was well within her right. She had lost her sister, her one bona fide hero, and the idea that she would never get to see her again… it hurt like hell.
These feelings, coupled with the knowledge that, even when she was probably states away from them, her mother could stand in the way of her and Brittany having something the way they should as mother and daughter, and coupled again with the bordering-on-intrusive efforts of the Glee Club to help her, had left her incredibly bitter, more so than usual. And then had come the funeral.
The day she had learned of her aunt's passing, Brittany had arrived at school and immediately needed to confide in Santana. She was one of only two people here at McKinley who knew about her and her mother, along with Quinn, but on that morning all she wanted was to have Santana hold her and tell her that she would be okay, because it really didn't feel that way at the moment. She had made her choice and she would live with it, but she needed to find a way to appear like hadn't just lost one of the people she held most dear, and that wouldn't be easy. Santana had helped her in a heartbeat, and in the days that followed Brittany could always count on her in case she needed a break from pretending to be alright and just cry on her shoulder. With the approach of the funeral though, with the whole Glee Club getting involved in it, she knew what it meant. She would have to go on pretending a while longer.
Being there with the rest of them though, singing a song she had known by heart for years, having sung it so many times as she watched the movie with her aunt, it had helped her to hold on to the memory as something good, knowing that even with her aunt gone, she would never forget her.
For Sue though, seeing her daughter up there, singing for Jean with the rest of her friends, it made her cry, for many reasons… too many reasons.
More than anything, it made her realize… she wanted this to stop, she really did. She didn't want to lie anymore, not about Brittany, not about her daughter.
THE END
A/N: This is a one-shot ficlet, which means that signing up for story alert will not bring you any alerts.
In the event of a sequel, the story will be separate from this one. And as chapter stories go, they are
always clearly indicated as such [ex: "Days 204-210" in the summary] Thank you!
